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Kiss Me, Stupid Quotes

Kiss Me, Stupid is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Kiss Me, Stupid ended in 1970.

It features Billy Wilder as producer, André Previn in charge of musical score, and Joseph LaShelle as head of cinematography.

Kiss Me, Stupid is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Kiss Me, Stupid is 126 minutes long. Kiss Me, Stupid is distributed by Lopert Pictures Corporation.

The cast includes: Dean Martin as Dino, Cliff Norton as Mack Gray, and Felicia Farr as Zelda Spooner.

Kiss Me, Stupid Quotes

Dean Martin as Dino

  • (Dean Martin) "Did you hear a story about the girl and the lobster?"
  • (Unnamed) "No, how's it go?"
  • (Dean Martin) "Well, this girl was sittin' in a movie house and this guy sat down next to her, and they were sittin' in the dark, and they were watchin' the picture, see? And suddenly she felt somethin' crawling up her leg and"
  • (Dean Martin) "pinched her."
  • (Unnamed) "Ouch."
  • (Unnamed) "Go on."
  • (Dean Martin) "Then she felt something crawling again and"
  • (Dean Martin) "pinched her again. She said, "What is the idea, you pinching me?" And he said, "Well, it wasn't me --"
  • (Dean Martin) "it was my lobster.""
  • (Unnamed) "His lobster?"
  • (Dean Martin) "He explained it. He said, "A friend of mine gave me a live lobster and I said, 'Gee, that's wonderful, I think I'll take it home for dinner.' He said, 'No, it already had dinner --"
  • (Dean Martin) "why don't you take it to a movie?'""
  • (Dean Martin) "I have an amazing mother, you know. She is 85 years old and she don't need no glasses."
  • (Dean Martin) "She drinks right out of the bottle."
  • (Dean Martin) "I need another Italian song like a giraffe needs a strep throat."
  • (Dean Martin) "There was the one about this doctor, you see? He was examining a girl's knee and he says, "What's a joint like this doing on a pretty girl like you?""

Felicia Farr as Zelda Spooner

  • (Felicia Farr) "-- Bobby Darin or Elvis."
  • (Dean Martin) "Elvis who?"
  • (Felicia Farr) "I suppose you have never heard of the Beatles either."
  • (Dean Martin) "Oh sure. And I can sing better that all three of them."
  • (Felicia Farr) "There are four of them."
  • (Dean Martin) "Oh, haven't you heard? One of them got his hair caught in his guitar and was electrocuted."
  • (Felicia Farr) "You can make jokes about them but they're young and they're popular, while you --"
  • (Dean Martin) "What about me?"
  • (Felicia Farr) "Let's face it, you are over the hill."
  • (Dean Martin) "Sure you do know how to hurt a fellow."

Cliff Norton as Mack Gray

  • (Cliff Norton) "Great, Dino, you were great. They were rolling in the aisles."
  • (Dean Martin) "Why didn't somebody take the dice away?"

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