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Laughter on the 23rd Floor (film) Quotes

Laughter on the 23rd Floor is a TV program that first aired in 2001 on Showtime (TV network). Laughter on the 23rd Floor completed its run in 1970.

It features Jeffrey Lampert as producer, Joseph Vitarelli as theme composer, and Danny Nowak as head of cinematography.

Laughter on the 23rd Floor is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Laughter on the 23rd Floor is 102 minutes long. Laughter on the 23rd Floor is distributed by Paramount Television.

The cast includes: Mackenzie Astin as Lucas, Dan Castellaneta as Milt, Mark Linn-Baker as Val, Nathan Lane as Max, Peri Gilpin as Carol, Richard Portnow as Harry, Victor Garber as Kenny, and Saul Rubinek as Ira.

Laughter on the 23rd Floor Quotes

Nathan Lane as Max

  • (Nathan Lane) "I want to hit something else. Something big, expensive."
  • (Dan Castellaneta) "There's a bank across the street, Max."
  • (Nathan Lane) "Is that gonna wash off?"
  • (Saul Rubinek) "Don't you care what might happen to me."
  • (Nathan Lane) "First let's discuss what happened to my wall. Is that gonna wash off?"
  • (Saul Rubinek) "I don't think so. It's a permanent marker."
  • (Nathan Lane) "If that doesn't wash off, you will DEFINITELY have a brain tumor."
  • (Nathan Lane) "If he's REALLY observant, he's gonna observe me getting upset. And then he's gonna observe me very quietly, and very politely, putting my fist through his f***ing face."
  • (Nathan Lane) "I have to look good for a heart attack?"
  • (Nathan Lane) "If I die, bill the funeral to NBC. f*** 'em."
  • (Nathan Lane) "The lines are too clogged with urbane-ament."
  • (Nathan Lane) "I don't know who I hate most: McCarthy or Lawrence Welk."
  • (Nathan Lane) "Ma, have you given any thought to moving next to Pop? I think he really misses you. You wouldn't have to talk to him. I think he just wants to lie next to you. It's cold over there. He doesn't have the sun like you. (Listens) Okay."
  • (Richard Portnow) "What'd she say?"
  • (Nathan Lane) "She wants to sleep on it."

Dan Castellaneta as Milt

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Mark Linn-Baker as Val

  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "God forgive me for saying this word: Nervous breakdown."
  • (Dan Castellaneta) "That's two words. God will never forgive you."
  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "If you're a Jew, you end up in the desert no matter what."
  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "Go feck yourself."
  • (Dan Castellaneta) "There's no such word as feck. A person cannot go feck themselves. You cannot be an American citizen until you learn to say "Go f*** yourself.""
  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "Kiss my Naturalization papers."
  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "You think it's funny that Max called me at 12 AM midnight?"
  • (Dan Castellaneta) "Only when you say it."
  • (Unnamed) "He called me last night. Said something about we're going to war again."
  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "With the Japanese?"
  • (Unnamed) "I don't know, depends on how Japanese NBC is."
  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "My dog dreams funnier than you."
  • (Dan Castellaneta) "My dog can say, "f***ing pumpernickel.""
  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "Max has been very paranoid lately. Has anyone noticed?"
  • (Unnamed) "Isn't it impolite to watch someone being paranoid?"

Peri Gilpin as Carol

  • (Peri Gilpin) "I took English and Biology in college and now I have no use for either of them."
  • (Peri Gilpin) "Since when has anyone here noticed I'm a woman?"
  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "I noticed it when you first came to work here. You never used the men's john."
  • (Peri Gilpin) "You wrote on the wall with an indelible marker? A mother would drown her own child for doing that."
  • (Peri Gilpin) "I'm pregnant."
  • (Victor Garber) "Mazel-thov."
  • (Peri Gilpin) "Thank you, Kenny."
  • (Victor Garber) "No I was suggesting a name."
  • (Peri Gilpin) "I'm trying to get pregnant."
  • (Unnamed) "Ask your husband. Why should we do everything?"

Saul Rubinek as Ira

  • (Unnamed) "The game is funny names."
  • (Saul Rubinek) "You against me? Where's the challenge? You can have all the other writers."
  • (Peri Gilpin) "Why do I want children? Look what they become."
  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "All right. Let's get this over with. What's the bet?"
  • (Saul Rubinek) "Shoes. We're playing for shoes. (They take off their shoes) My seventy dollar aligators against his Irish clogs after 15 St. Patrick's Day parades."
  • (Mark Linn-Baker) "Aaaaaand -- Go."
  • (Unnamed) "Rabbi John Wayne."
  • (Writers) "Eh."
  • (Saul Rubinek) "The Count of Monte through Friday."
  • (Writers) "Oooh."
  • (Unnamed) "Ira Chuvney."
  • (Saul Rubinek) "Ira Chuvney. That's my name. What's funny about that."
  • (Writers) "(Applaud)"

Victor Garber as Kenny

  • (Victor Garber) "Pills and scotch don't mix, Max -- or Max mix -- however you want to say it."

Mackenzie Astin as Lucas

  • (Mackenzie Astin) "My name is Lucas."
  • (Dan Castellaneta) "Not Arnie?"
  • (Mackenzie Astin) "No, Lucas."
  • (Dan Castellaneta) "Too Late. I already learned Arnie."

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