Legally Blonde Quotes

Legally Blonde is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Legally Blonde ended its run in 1970.

It features Marc E. Platt, and Ric Kidney as producer, Rolfe Kent in charge of musical score, and Anthony B. Richmond as head of cinematography.

Legally Blonde is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Legally Blonde is 96 minutes long. Legally Blonde is distributed by MGM Distribution Co..

The cast includes: Luke Wilson as Emmett, Greg Serano as Enrique Salvatore, Reese Witherspoon as Elle, Matthew Davis as Warner Huntington III, Selma Blair as Vivian, Linda Cardellini as Chutney Windham, Ali Larter as Brooke, Oz Perkins as David, Holland Taylor as Professor Stromwell, Wayne Federman as Head of Admissions, Victor Garber as Professor Callahan, Jennifer Coolidge as Paulette, Jessica Cauffiel as Margot, and Alanna Ubach as Serena.

Legally Blonde Quotes

Reese Witherspoon as Elle

• (Reese Witherspoon) "This is gonna be just like senior year, except for funner."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "No more boring suits or pantyhose, I'm trying to be somebody I'm not."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "Excuse me."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together and I haven't heard from you since."
• (Oz Perkins) "I'm sorry?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?"
• (Oz Perkins) "Both?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you."
• (Unnamed) "So, when did you wanna go out?"

• (Reese Witherspoon) "Did you see him? He's probably still scratching his head."
• (Jennifer Coolidge) "Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "Bend and snap."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "Here it is."
• (Victor Garber) "It's pink --"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Oh. And it's scented. I think it gives it a little something extra, don't you think? Okay, well, see you next class."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "Oh Warner, do you remember when we spent those four amazing hours in the hot tub together after winter formal?"
• (Matthew Davis) "Uhh, ye -- no?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Well this is so much better than that. Excuse me, I have some shopping to do."

• (Elle's Mother) "Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropics" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back."
• (Elle's Father) "Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "I object."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "Uh. I'm sorry. I just hallucinated."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "-- and that's why you should vote for me. Elle Woods: future lawyer for the class of 2004."
• (Admissions Guy) "She does have a 4.0 from CULA and she got a 179 on LSATs."
• (Wayne Federman) "Fashion major?"
• (Admissions Guy) "Well sir we've never had one before and aren't we always looking for diversity?"
• (Admissions Guy) "Her list of extra-curricular activities is impressive."
• (Wayne Federman) "She was in a Ricky Martin video."
• (Admissions Guy) "Clearly, she's interested in music."
• (Wayne Federman) "She also designed a line of faux-fur panties for her sorority's charity project."
• (Admissions Guy) "Uh huh, she's a friend to the animals as well as a philanthropist."
• (Wayne Federman) "Elle Woods."
• (Wayne Federman) "Welcome to Harvard."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "She told me I look like Britney Spears. Why would she say that if she doesn't like me?"

• (Reese Witherspoon) "Is that low-viscosity rayon? With a half-loop top stitching on the hem?"
• (Boutique Saleswoman) "Of course. It's one of a kind."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "It's impossible to use a half-loop stitching on low-viscosity rayon. It would snag the fabric. And you didn't just get it in; I saw it in the June Vogue a year ago. So if you're trying to sell it to me for full price, you've picked the wrong girl."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "Ms. Windham, what had you done earlier that day?"
• (Linda Cardellini) "I got up. Got a latte. Went to the gym. Got a perm and came home."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Where you got in the shower?"
• (The Honorable Marina R. Bickford) "I believe the witness has made it clear that she was in the shower."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Yes, your Honor."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Ms. Windham, had you ever gotten a perm before?"
• (Linda Cardellini) "Yes."
• (Linda Cardellini) "Two a year since I was 12. You do the math."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "You know, a girl in my sorority, Tracy Marcinco got a perm once. We all tried to talk her out of it. Curls weren't a good look for her. She didn't have your bone structure, but thankfully that same day she entered the Pheta Delta Phi wet t-shirt contest where she was completely hosed to down from head to toe --"
• (DA Joyce Rafferty) "Objection, why is this relevant?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "I have a point, I promise."
• (The Honorable Marina R. Bickford) "Then make it."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Chutney, why is it Tracy Marcinco's curls were ruined when she got hosed down?"
• (Linda Cardellini) "Because they got wet."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Exactly. Because isn't the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you're forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate?"
• (Linda Cardellini) "Yes."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "And wouldn't somebody who had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule, and if in fact you weren't washing your hair as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot, and if in fact you had heard the gunshot Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which means you would have had to found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn't that right?"
• (Linda Cardellini) "She's my age. Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "You, however, Chutney had time to hide the gun after you shot your father."
• (Linda Cardellini) "I didn't mean to shoot him."
• (Linda Cardellini) "I thought it was YOU walking through the door."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Oh my God."
• (The Honorable Marina R. Bickford) "Oh my God."
• (Ali Larter) "Oh my God."
• (The Honorable Marina R. Bickford) "Balliff, take the witness into custody, where she will be charged for the murder of Joseph Windham. Case dismissed. Mrs. Windham, you're free to go."
• (Ali Larter) "Thank you, your honor."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "I promised her, and I can't break the bonds of sisterhood."
• (Victor Garber) "Screw sisterhood. This is a murder investigation. Not some scandal at the sorority house."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "Hi. I'm Elle Woods and this is Bruiser Woods. We're both Gemini vegetarians."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "For that matter, any masturbatory emissions, where the sperm is clearly not seeking an egg, could be termed reckless abandonment."
• (Victor Garber) "You've just won your case."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin -- to generic. All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye"."
• (Unnamed) "Aye."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "I don't need back-ups. I'm going to Harvard."
• (C.U.L.A. Advisor) "Well then, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Okay."
• (C.U.L.A. Advisor) "And a heck of an admissions essay."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Right."
• (C.U.L.A. Advisor) "And at least a 175 on your LSATs."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "But if I'm going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I'm 30, I need a boyfriend who's not such a complete bonehead."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "This is what I need to become."
• (Old Lady at Manicurist) "What? Practically deformed?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "No, a law student."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "Warner, what kind of shoes are these?"
• (Matthew Davis) "Umm -- black ones."

• (Reese Witherspoon) "I'm reading about the LSATs."
• (Alanna Ubach) "My cousin had that once. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your --"

Jennifer Coolidge as Paulette

• (Jennifer Coolidge) "Is she as pretty as you?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely unfortunate looking."

• (Jennifer Coolidge) "So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?"

• (Jennifer Coolidge) "Geez. Could I be any more god**** spastic?"

• (Jennifer Coolidge) "So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass."

• (Jennifer Coolidge) "I'm takin' the dog -- DUMBASS."

Ali Larter as Brooke

• (Ali Larter) "You know a Delta Nu would never sleep with a man who wears a thong."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Never."
• (Ali Larter) "I just liked to watch him change the filter."

• (Ali Larter) "Are you one of my lawyers?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Sort of."
• (Ali Larter) "Well thank God one of you has a brain."

• (Ali Larter) "I was getting --"
• (Ali Larter) "liposuction."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "I'm sorry, what?"
• (Ali Larter) "Liposuction."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "What?"
• (Ali Larter) "LIPOSUCTION."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "OH MY GOD."
• (Ali Larter) "I KNOW."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "NO --"
• (Ali Larter) "Yes. I know I'm a fraud, but its not like normal women could have this ass. If anyone found out about this, I would be ruined."
• (Ali Larter) "You must understand me, Elle -- I had just lost a husband --"
• (Ali Larter) "I would rather go to jail than to lose my reputation."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."
• (Ali Larter) "Thank you, Elle."

Matthew Davis as Warner Huntington III

• (Matthew Davis) "How was your first class?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Oh, it was okay, except for this horrible preppy girl who tried to make me look bad in front of the professor, but no biggie."

• (Matthew Davis) "Pooh bear, just get in the car."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "No."
• (Matthew Davis) "You're gonna ruin your shoes."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Okay."

• (Matthew Davis) "Hey, well, don't you look like a walking felony."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Thanks, you're so sweet."

• (Matthew Davis) "Pooh-bear, you're not serious enough --"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Well, I'm serious about this, Warner."
• (Matthew Davis) "No. I mean, I'm sorry but, you're never going to be smart enough for lessons in law."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "I'm never going to be good enough for you, am I?"

• (Matthew Davis) "Excuse me, I'm sorry -- are you here to see me?"
• (Reese Witherspoon) "No, silly. I go here."

Selma Blair as Vivian

• (Selma Blair) "Nice outfit."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated."

• (Selma Blair) "You know, I'm still shocked that you didn't give Callahan the alibi."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "It wasn't my alibi to tell."
• (Selma Blair) "I know, I thought that was very -- classy of you."

Greg Serano as Enrique Salvatore

• (Greg Serano) "Don't stomp your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "These aren't last season."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "He's gay. Enrique is gay."

Victor Garber as Professor Callahan

• (Victor Garber) "Smell this."
• (Luke Wilson) "What is it?"
• (Victor Garber) "Her resume."
• (Luke Wilson) "Smells good."

• (Victor Garber) "Let the blood bath begin."

• (Victor Garber) "Do you think she woke up one morning and said "I think I'll go to law school today"?"

Holland Taylor as Professor Stromwell

• (Holland Taylor) "If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life -- you're not the girl I thought you were."

Luke Wilson as Emmett

• (Luke Wilson) "I can't believe you just called me a butthead. I don't think anybody has called me a butthead since the 9th grade."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Maybe not to your face."

• (Luke Wilson) "Did you take Mrs. Windham on a date?"
• (Greg Serano) "Yes."
• (Luke Wilson) "Where?"
• (Greg Serano) "A restaurant in Concord, where no one could recognize us."
• (Luke Wilson) "How long have you been sleeping with Mrs. Windham?"
• (Greg Serano) "Three months."
• (Luke Wilson) "And your boyfriend's name is --"
• (Greg Serano) "Chuck."
• (Luke Wilson) "Right."
• (Greg Serano) "Pardon me, pardon me. I thought you said friend; Chuck is just a friend."
• (Chuck) "YOU BITCH."

Jessica Cauffiel as Margot

• (Jessica Cauffiel) "Here, you're gonna need this."
• (Reese Witherspoon) "Your scrunchie?"
• (Jessica Cauffiel) "My LUCKY scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish."
• (Alanna Ubach) "You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap dance after the final."
• (Jessica Cauffiel) "Yeah -- Luckily."

Alanna Ubach as Serena

• (Alanna Ubach) "Oh look, there's Elle. Elle, we came to see your trial and look. There's like a judge and everything -- and jury people."
• (Jessica Cauffiel) "VOTE FOR ELLE."
• (The Honorable Marina R. Bickford) "Ladies, take a seat."

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