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Let's Go to Prison Quotes

Let's Go to Prison is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . Let's Go to Prison completed its run in 1970.

It features Marc Abraham as producer, Alan Elliott in charge of musical score, and Ramsey Nickell as head of cinematography.

Let's Go to Prison is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Let's Go to Prison is 90 minutes long. Let's Go to Prison is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Chi McBride as Barry, Dax Shepard as John Lys***ski, Will Arnett as Nelson Biederman IV, and Bob Odenkirk as Duane.

Let's Go to Prison Quotes

Bob Odenkirk as Duane

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Dax Shepard as John Lys***ski

  • (Dax Shepard) "Our justice system sucks. You know, there are over two million Americans behind bars. That's a little larger than the population of Houston. Every year, there are enough children born in prison to fill 250 Little League teams and enough people are raped in prison to fill a stadium more than three times. Can you picture that? Three stadiums full of people raping each other? I know I can."
  • (Dax Shepard) "If I had a nickel for every time I've been incarcerated -- I'd have fifteen cents."
  • (Dax Shepard) "Under all the swastikas, he's a real prick."
  • (Dax Shepard) "We should be cellmates. I don't snore, and I'm a quiet masturbator. Hell, I'll even give you the top bunk."
  • (Dax Shepard) "Same Lys***ski, different day."
  • (Dax Shepard) "Hey. He is my property, you dick monster. You got that?"
  • (Dax Shepard) "This little frilly is all mine. You can look, but not touch. This little asshole only got one name on it. Mine. Romeo. Romeo Lys***ski. No rear entry."
  • (Dax Shepard) "That goes for you."
  • (Dax Shepard) "That big bastard is the head of the Black G Lords."
  • (Will Arnett) "I don't mean to sound ungrateful John -- but did you have to stick your finger up my ass?"
  • (Dax Shepard) "Nope, probably not. But it happened."
  • (Dax Shepard) "It costs $54 a day to keep a person in prison, which comes out to $75 million a day nationally. That's $28 billion a year. When you think about it, wouldn't it be cheaper just to let us keep your god**** car stereos?"

Will Arnett as Nelson Biederman IV

  • (Will Arnett) "So now what do we do?"
  • (Dax Shepard) "Hmm?"
  • (Dax Shepard) "What do you mean?"
  • (Will Arnett) "What do I mean? I mean, what are we -- what are we supposed to do ?"
  • (Dax Shepard) "We're doin' it, man. This is it. We're right in the thick of the action. We hang out here, go to lunch, come back, hang out some more, go to dinner -- You know how someone might describe a situation that's unpleasant or confining as being, "like a prison"?"
  • (Will Arnett) "Yeah."
  • (Dax Shepard) "This is what they were referring to."
  • (Will Arnett) "What's on the menu today, good sir?"
  • (Unnamed) "That's meat -- that ain't meat."
  • (Will Arnett) "--.ain't meat."
  • (Will Arnett) ""dear new pen pal, my name is Nelson Beaterman the fourth, i'm 30 years old, and I've been in prison for three months. In this hell hole I've had my ass kicked so many times, my ass has foot prints in it. But you know what? I think I'm going to make it. At least I know it cant possibly get any worse. Anyway -- thanks for listening. I'll have to sign off now, as someone is pissing on me. Your new friend; Nelson.""
  • (Will Arnett) "Now we're even. I have done you wrong, and you've stabbed me twice with forks."
  • (Will Arnett) "It's okay to cry. Crying takes the sad out of you."

Chi McBride as Barry

  • (Chi McBride) "If you lie to me I cut your genitalia and put it in shoe box."
  • (Chi McBride) "Of all the bathroom stalls, in all the correction facilities in all the world, he walks into mine."
  • (Will Arnett) "Haven't you heard the news Barry?"
  • (Chi McBride) "The news? Oh yeah. Barry finally pitches, Pisces catches, home team wins."
  • (Chi McBride) "Prepare to be woo-ed, by the master."
  • (Chi McBride) "Would you like some Merlot? I make it in the toilet."

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