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Mama's Family Quotes

Mama's Family is a Situation comedy that debuted in 1970 on NBC (1983-1984). Mama's Family completed its run in 1990.

Mama's Family was on for 6 seasons and 130 episodes. It features Jim Evering as producer, Peter Matz as theme composer, and Peter Matz as composer. Mama's Family is executive produced by Joe Hamilton (producer). Mama's Family is created by Dick Clair.

Mama's Family is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Mama's Family is 24-25 minutes (NBC episodes) long. Mama's Family is produced by Joe Hamilton (producer) and distributed by Lorimar-Telepictures.

Mama's Family Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "Thanks a lot, Mama."
  • (Unnamed) "The only way to keep from goin' crazy in this house is to stay half lit."
  • (Unnamed) "I love a Boy's Choir at Christmas."
  • (Unnamed) "That's 'cause you've never had to sit through one."
  • (Unnamed) "What kind of a smut show is this?"
  • (Unnamed) "I tell ya, a guy selling brains could clean up in this family."
  • (Unnamed) "Y'know, last night was the first night that Naomi and I didn't -- didn't -- well, you know, we didn't --"
  • (Unnamed) "There goes the Guinness Book of Records."
  • (Unnamed) "Franny, don't drink if you can't hold your hooch."
  • (Unnamed) "If you want your talent appreciated in this world, you gotta go to Broadway."
  • (Unnamed) "Well what the hell are you waiting for? Open up the door and let the good times roll --"
  • (Unnamed) "Vinton Harper, I am not asking you, I am telling you. Now, take that silly thing back and bring me my bed."
  • (Unnamed) "You got no right to tell me what to do, that's Mama's job."
  • (Unnamed) "My dogs are barkin'."
  • (Unnamed) "Grandma doesn't give me any rights."
  • (Unnamed) "You have the right to remain silent."
  • (Unnamed) "Grandma, you've got to admit it -- There's nothing like the tree to get you into that Christmas spirit."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, sure, nothing gives me more comfort and joy than cleaning up pine needles for two weeks."
  • (Unnamed) "I wanna kill myself. Quick. Gimme somethin' Naomi made."
  • (Unnamed) "Here, Mama. Try one of these Spam and anchovy sandwiches."
  • (Unnamed) "Vinton, do you know what you get when you put your brain and my brain together? My brain."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm glad I put the tinsel on strand-by-strand. It gives the tree such symmetry."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, and it balances it out, too."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, Buzz, I believe you've gotten taller behind my back."
  • (Unnamed) "Sorry."
  • (Unnamed) "Good lord, Vinton, what in the hell do you think you're doing?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well Mama -- I'm trying to guess your weight --"
  • (Unnamed) "I've got a better idea Vinton -- how about you guess which hand I'm gonna smack you upside the head with."
  • (Unnamed) "From now on if we have any backstabbing to do were going to do it the way we have always done it face to face."
  • (Unnamed) "From now on, I'm not gonna give my family anything but hell."
  • (Unnamed) "Why doesn't anything good ever happen to me? All I do is cook and clean."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, hell, you can't even do that."
  • (Unnamed) "You're skatin' on thin ice old lady."
  • (Unnamed) "Getting the right message isn't easy, it could take all night."
  • (Unnamed) "The hell you say."
  • (Unnamed) "It's your dime, spill it."
  • (Unnamed) "For 50 years I have been in charge of Christmas. I've jingled your bells and I've roasted your chestnuts. This Christmas you goons can just rum-pa-pum-pum without me."
  • (Unnamed) "Sonja, honey, did your mama ever talk to you about boys?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well, she told me never to marry a locksmith."
  • (Unnamed) "He's been in there. He's actually been in my bathroom."
  • (Unnamed) "Did he take anything?"
  • (Unnamed) "No, he cleaned up."
  • (Unnamed) "He even put on a new roll of toilet paper -- and the right way too; from the bottom out."
  • (Unnamed) "I always thought it was supposed to roll over the top --"
  • (Unnamed) "WHAT THE HELL DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?"
  • (Unnamed) "Vint, I don't ever lend money. Not ever. I just don't. Ever."
  • (Unnamed) "Magic moments between a man and a woman are spiritual and ought not to be screwed with."
  • (Unnamed) "Good Lord."
  • (Unnamed) "Knock, knock."
  • (Unnamed) "Good Lord in heaven. You robbed me for that bum."
  • (Unnamed) "I didn't rob anybody. And he is not a bum. He is a man of vision and integrity and belief in his fellow human beings."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, what did he need that money for?"
  • (Unnamed) "Bail."

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