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Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere Quotes

Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is a Sitcom that debuted in 2019 on Channel 4. Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere stopped airing in 1970.

Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere lasted 6 episodes. It features Lesley McNeil as producer, and Martin Hawkins as head of cinematography. Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is executive produced by Phil McIntyre. Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is created by Peter Kay.

Each episode of Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is 30 Mins long. Spinoffs for this show include Britain's Got the Pop Factor... and Possibly a New Celebrity Jesus Christ Soapstar Superstar Strictly on Ice.

Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "I'm going to get in touch with Tina. She knows we're innocent, she knows the truth."
  • (Unnamed) "Well you'd better do it quick. Its all right for you, you know. A good looking lad like me is a valuable commodity in here you know."
  • (Unnamed) "Its all right I've seen a pay phone and -- What do mean its all right for me?"
  • (Unnamed) "When Paddy steps in those showers, them lads will think its Christmas morning. They'll ride me like a Blackpool Donkey."
  • (Unnamed) "Well what we've got to do, is make them lot think that me and you are a couple of hard nuts. Let them think we're a couple of big time gangsters. Come on chest out, chin up. We're doing a bit of bird as per. Me and you, Tango and Cash, Magnet and Steel. What do you say?"
  • (Unnamed) "I'm going to get bummed."
  • (Unnamed) "Do we have a Daniel Wolfsten on board a.k.a. The Wolfster?"
  • (Child on Bus) "No he's not here."
  • (Unnamed) "You what?"
  • (Child on Bus) "He catches the other bus."
  • (Unnamed) "You what?"
  • (Unnamed) "There's another bus. Oh no you Mo-Fo that's Proper-Whack that."
  • (Unnamed) "Can ya not blame it on the music?"
  • (Unnamed) "No, I don't think that'll hold up in court, Max, reasons for speeding; Status Quo."
  • (Unnamed) "Chuck us some water flower."
  • (Unnamed) "It wouldn't hurt you to show some manners after all they are free."
  • (Unnamed) "Hang on what's this? Bottled in the mountains of Afganistan? I bet Osama's had a bath in this. Why do you keep buying all this cheap rubbish like 4p Beans and Al Queda water?"
  • (Unnamed) "It's called personal hygiene, Max. You should try it sometime."
  • (Unnamed) "What's that supposed to mean?"
  • (Unnamed) "In a nutshell: You stink."
  • ('Charlie' [on the porn DVD Charlie's Anals]) "Good morning Anals."
  • (The three 'Anals' in unison) "Good morning Charlie."
  • (Unnamed) "Middlewood. Middle -- wood. Were in the middle of a wood."
  • (Unnamed) "This is clearly a case of mistaken identity."
  • (Unnamed) "You what? Forty kids on a coach, what did we think it were, a stag party?"
  • (Unnamed) "I almost threw her out for being Under age --"
  • (Unnamed) "Under age? How old was she you dirty dog?"
  • (Unnamed) "No, she was old enough it was just that she was, she was a kind of midget."
  • (Unnamed) "Ain't that a Queen song?"
  • (Unnamed) "No you clown --"
  • (Unnamed) "You mean she was a dwarf?"
  • (Unnamed) "No she wasn't a dwarf, she was a midget."
  • (Unnamed) "There's no difference --"
  • (Unnamed) "There is actually. Mr Politically Incorrect. Dwarfs for your information are in the circus and do cartwheels. Midgets are like normal people just shrunk down."
  • (Unnamed) "Well you live and learn."
  • (Unnamed) "How Dare You."
  • (Unnamed) "You're not Patrick O'Shea?"
  • (Unnamed) "You know him?"
  • (Unnamed) "Everyone knew Spazzy Paddy. Where's your calipers and your brace?"
  • (Unnamed) "Long time ago that."
  • (Unnamed) "He was worth more for scrap. You don't remember me do you? My sister you to babysit him. He were a right dirty little sod."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh I?"
  • (Unnamed) "We had to rush him to hospital one night, he'd only stuck Okay Wan Benobi up his arsehole, he was always at it --"
  • (Unnamed) "Obi Wan Kenobi --"
  • (Unnamed) "Bootshakka --"
  • (Unnamed) "Chewbacca --"
  • (Unnamed) "C3-D2 --"
  • (Unnamed) "PO --"
  • (Unnamed) "Star Trek mad he was."
  • (Unnamed) "Star wars Wolf-Ster, Star Wars."
  • (Unnamed) "Like I say long time ago that Wolfie."
  • (Unnamed) "Yo this is the Maxster MC, listen up Posse. Can I get a Re-E-Wind."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm getting down with kids."
  • (Unnamed) "Now then kiddies, we're going to play a nice game called "Who's Your Dad And What's His Name"."
  • (Unnamed) "Do that again and I'll rip bleeding arms out."
  • (Unnamed) "I needed that; my teeth were under water."
  • (Unnamed) "Play with feathers, you get your arse tickled."
  • (Unnamed) "Paddy has needs."
  • (Unnamed) "Empty your pockets please, sir"
  • (Unnamed) "Afro comb."
  • (Unnamed) "You never know. You never know."
  • (Unnamed) "Pound-coin holder. Empty. One key attached to one keyring"
  • (Unnamed) ""I've stroked a beaver at Drayton Manor". Have you now?"
  • (Unnamed) "sign here please."
  • (Unnamed) "What do i do now?"
  • (Unnamed) "just through there please, sir"
  • (Unnamed) "Name?"
  • (Unnamed) "Patrick O'Shay."
  • (Unnamed) "Empty your pockets please, sir"
  • (Unnamed) "one pornographic magazine, the Finger Club. One pack of condoms, ripped for the lady's pleasure. Flavour: Biscuit."
  • (Unnamed) "She was a kind of midget"
  • (Unnamed) "Isn't that a Queen song?"

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