Meet the Spartans Quotes

Meet the Spartans is a television program that debuted in 1970 . Meet the Spartans ended its run in 1970.

It features Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer, and Peter Safran as producer, Christopher Lennertz in charge of musical score, and Daian Deon as head of cinematography.

Meet the Spartans is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Meet the Spartans is 83 minutes long. Meet the Spartans is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Kevin Sorbo as Captain, Phil Morris as Messenger, Sean Maguire as Leonidas, Tiffany Haddish as Urban Girl, Diedrich Bader as Traitoro, Ken Davitian as Xerxes, Tony Yalda as Sanjaya Malakar, Travis Van Winkle as Sonio, Nicole Parker as Paris Hilton, and Dean Cochran as Rambo.

Meet the Spartans Quotes

Ken Davitian as Xerxes

• (Ken Davitian) "I am Xerxes-tron. I am enhanced with strange Alien Technology."
• (Unnamed) "Leave Britney alone. Leave her alone."
• (Sean Maguire) "He truly is a God-King --"
• (Unnamed) "She's human."

• (Ken Davitian) "I tell you kid, you got balls. I come over here with a big army, we're goin' to shish kebab your ass."

Kevin Sorbo as Captain

• (Kevin Sorbo) "He has a good heart, Sir. And -- nice man-boobs."

• (Kevin Sorbo) "I'm gonna go Hercules on your ass."

• (Kevin Sorbo) "I remember when my father used to beat me."
• (Queen Margo) "Rites of Passage?"
• (Kevin Sorbo) "No, my father was an alcoholic."

Dean Cochran as Rambo

• (Dean Cochran) "When you're pushed, killing's as easy as -- dancing."

Sean Maguire as Leonidas

• (Sean Maguire) "Catch your breath. Vanilla blended. What is it boy?"
• (Travis Van Winkle) "The Persians have found the secret passage through the hot gates."
• (Sean Maguire) "Ah s***."

• (Sean Maguire) "I'm assembling an army to go to war with Persia. I'm going to take them in the rear -- and then I'm gonna reach around, and I'm gonna take them again from the front."

• (Sean Maguire) "No mayo? This is bulls***."

• (Queen Margo) "Come back with your shield or on it."
• (Sean Maguire) "If I come back on it, I want you to move on."
• (Queen Margo) "I would never do such thing."
• (Sean Maguire) "Well, hell, if you died, I'd play the field. To be honest, I always wanted to do a fat chick."

• (Sean Maguire) "The Oracle also said our painted on abs look fake."

• (Sean Maguire) "Let us talk next to the giant pit of death."
• (Phil Morris) "Okay."

• (Sean Maguire) "Adjust your sword boy, it's digging into my back."
• (Travis Van Winkle) "But I'm not wearing my sword."
• (Sean Maguire) "Carry on then."

• (Sean Maguire) "Yes, well, that may be the case, but your mama's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookie."

Tony Yalda as Sanjaya Malakar

• (Tony Yalda) "I'm not gaaaay."

Nicole Parker as Paris Hilton

• (Nicole Parker) "I'm a Hilton, I don't bow -- but I do bend over."

Phil Morris as Messenger

• (Phil Morris) "What the hell was that?"
• (Sean Maguire) "What?"
• (Phil Morris) "You just kissed me."
• (Sean Maguire) "That is how men great each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women"
• (Sean Maguire) "and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men."

Diedrich Bader as Traitoro

• (Diedrich Bader) "Stop kicking people into the pit of death. Really."

Tiffany Haddish as Urban Girl

• (Tiffany Haddish) "Yo mama's so fat, her pant size is, um, um, um -- Bitch, lose some weight."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.