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Mike Bassett: England Manager Quotes

Mike Bassett: England Manager is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Mike Bassett: England Manager ended its run in 1970.

It features Steve Barron as producer.

Mike Bassett: England Manager is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Mike Bassett: England Manager is 89 minutes long. Mike Bassett: England Manager is distributed by Entertainment Film Distributors.

The cast includes: Martin Bashir as Interviewer, Ricky Tomlinson as Mike, Amanda Redman as Karine Bassett, Robbie Gee as Smallsy, Geoff Bell as Gary Wackett, Dean Lennox Kelly as Kevin Tonkinson, and Ulrich Thomsen as Dr. Hans Shoegaarten.

Mike Bassett: England Manager Quotes

Ricky Tomlinson as Mike

  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Will you f*** off ?"
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "How am I supposed to know. Just do whatever you want."
  • (Margaret) "Mike, here's the squad list, and I've given copies to the press, like you asked."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Ah, well done, Margaret, thank you -- hey, hang on a minute. There's 28 names here, I only picked 26."
  • (Margaret) "Well, that was the list you gave me."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Tony Hedges, York City? I didn't pick him, love."
  • (Margaret) "You must have done, Mike. I wouldn't have put him down, otherwise."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Never heard of him, have I? And who's this clown? Ron Benson, Plymouth Argyle?"
  • (Margaret) "Look, Mike, they were on the list of players that you gave me."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Oh, come on, love. Show me where it says "Benson and Hedges" on that."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Ladies and gentlemen. England will be playing Four-Four-f***ing Two."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Alright, Smallsy? Eh, you've got the best part of the dressing room, there; that's Charlton's lucky peg, that is."
  • (Robbie Gee) "Hey, hear that lads? I've got Bobby Charlton's lucky peg."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "No; Jackie's."

Martin Bashir as Interviewer

  • (Martin Bashir) "-- And what would your father say if he could see you now?"
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Oh, he'd probably quote Kipling or something, 'Walk with kings and all that' You see, he was like a father figure to me"
  • (Martin Bashir) "Well, obviously --"
  • (Martin Bashir) "Are you going to stay on?"
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Four more years."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "I'm staying on."
  • (Martin Bashir) "Anyone else?"
  • (Pelé) "Maybe Korea, Japan --"
  • (Martin Bashir) "Japan? What about England?"
  • (Pelé) "Not England though."
  • (Martin Bashir) "But they've qualified, Pelé."
  • (Pelé) "England?"
  • (Martin Bashir) "What about England?"
  • (Martin Bashir) "Half time, and England trail Mexico by 2-0."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Have you heard what the crowd are f***ing shouting? "f*** Bassett." "Bassett's a c***." "Bassett's a bastard." "Bassett's a wanker." They shouldn't be f***ing shouting at me, they should be shouting at you, and do you know why? Because it's f***ing half-time, and we're f***ing 2-0 down to the f***ing Mexicans. What the f***'s wrong with you? Get your f***ing fingers out. Where's your bottle f***ing gone?"
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "And f***ing pay attention you c***, when I'm f***ing talking to you. If you don't wanna wear the shirt, f***ing take it off. There's thousands of kids out there who'd die to put that f***ing shirt on. Get back on the f***ing field, show those bastards what you can f***ing do, or you can f*** off home on the f***ing plane. You got that?"
  • (Martin Bashir) "England lose 4-0."

Dean Lennox Kelly as Kevin Tonkinson

  • (Dean Lennox Kelly) "It wasn't my fault, boss, I had to swerve to avoid the traffic."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Only because you were on the wrong side of the bloody road. How many milligrams did you have?"
  • (Dean Lennox Kelly) "88."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "88 bloody milligrams. You go on the piss all day, you've ballooned out like the Pillsbury Doughboy. You've really let me down this time, Tonka, I'm telling you."
  • (Dean Lennox Kelly) "I wrote an apology, boss."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Oh, f*** the apology. You could go to jail for this. What sort of system am I going to play then? Three across the middle and one in bloody Pentonville?"
  • (Dean Lennox Kelly) "Why aye. It's the England reserves."
  • (Irish player) "Shut your mouth, ya proddy bollocks."
  • (Alan Massey) "What's the accent for? You're a cockney, you mug."
  • (Dean Lennox Kelly) "Here, lads we've got a jacuzzi"
  • (Dean Lennox Kelly) "And again"
  • (Dean Lennox Kelly) "Oh bollocks, I've s*** meself."

Ulrich Thomsen as Dr. Hans Shoegaarten

  • (Ulrich Thomsen) "Pele, Maradona and Mark Lawrenson."
  • (Ricky Tomlinson) "Mark Lawrenson?"
  • (Ulrich Thomsen) "We ran out of money."

Amanda Redman as Karine Bassett

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Geoff Bell as Gary Wackett

  • (Geoff Bell) "Let's f***ing kill them."

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