Monster-in-Law Quotes

Monster-in-Law is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Monster-in-Law ended in 1970.

It features Chris Bender, J.C. Spink, and Paula Weinstein as producer, David Newman, and Rosey in charge of musical score, and Russell Carpenter as head of cinematography.

Monster-in-Law is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Monster-in-Law is 102 minutes long. Monster-in-Law is distributed by New Line Cinema, and Warner Bros. Pictures.

The cast includes: Jennifer Lopez as Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini, Michael Vartan as Dr. Kevin Fields, Wanda Sykes as Ruby, Jane Fonda as Viola Fields, Adam Scott as Remy, and Will Arnett as Kit.

Monster-in-Law Quotes

Jane Fonda as Viola Fields

• (Jane Fonda) "I'm sorry. I thought it was air freshener."

• (Jane Fonda) "I cannot believe she compared me to Gertrude."
• (Wanda Sykes) "I know. Now that's just wrong."
• (Jane Fonda) "Thank You."
• (Wanda Sykes) "You are far worse. I don't recall Gertrude ever trying to poison you. And I'm pretty sure she wore black to your wedding."
• (Jane Fonda) "Black. Yeah, she said she was in mourning. I just want my son to be happy."
• (Wanda Sykes) "Whatever made you think he wasn't?"

• (Jane Fonda) "That little bitch. Come on Ruby. Lets go to the beach and drink wine."
• (Jane Fonda) "Whats wrong Ruby?"
• (Wanda Sykes) "You know exactly what."
• (Wanda Sykes) "Move"
• (Jane Fonda) "Ruby, whats wrong?"
• (Wanda Sykes) "I am sick. I am sick, sick, sick of your s***. And when im not sick, i'm tired. I am sick and tired."
• (Jane Fonda) "What are you trying to say?"
• (Wanda Sykes) "Damn you and your luggage."
• (Jane Fonda) "Ruby? Ruby? Ruby, your not going to leave me like everyone else, are you?"
• (Wanda Sykes) "Of course not. You old slut."

• (Jane Fonda) "Ruby, Ruby. Everybody knows that when a woman marries a man she marries his mother, too. What if I drive her crazy?"
• (Wanda Sykes) "Ok, now you're foaming at the mouth."

• (Jane Fonda) "Let's go someplace near the ocean and drink lunch."

• (Jane Fonda) "The flower girls are drunk again."

• (Jane Fonda) "Marriage is a sacred union which must only be entered with the utmost care."
• (Jennifer Lopez) "Weren't you married four times?"

• (Jane Fonda) "I thought you were dead, but evil doesn't die so easily."

• (Jane Fonda) "Do you ever read a newspaper?"
• (Wanda Sykes) "Newspaper? Viola, the girl got stars on her nipples."
• (Pop Star) "I dont have much time for that."
• (Jane Fonda) "So what you're saying is that you dont know whats going on in the world. And yet you've sold over"
• (Jane Fonda) "39 million albums. CD'S. And millions of kids listen to your lyrics. "If you wanna know me, look inside my make-up bag". Your influicing an entire population of kids who wont know how to think straight. Or how to vote for a president. Or understand the significance of Roe vs Wade."
• (Pop Star) "Oh."
• (Pop Star) "I don't support boxing as a sport. I think it's to violent."
• (Jane Fonda) "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

• (Jane Fonda) "What do you do for fun?"
• (Pop Star) "I love watching really old movies. They're my favorite."
• (Jane Fonda) "Really? Really? Which ones?"
• (Pop Star) "Well, "Grease" and "Grease II." Um, "Benji." I love "Benji." "Free Willy," um -- "Legally Blonde," "The Little Mermaid.""

• (Jane Fonda) "why the question mark?"
• (Jennifer Lopez) "Oh, 'cause I just don't know."

Jennifer Lopez as Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini

• (Jennifer Lopez) "I used to have such good gaydar."

• (Jennifer Lopez) "And about the holidays --"
• (Jane Fonda) "Are you gonna keep me away?"
• (Jennifer Lopez) "You must be present for every Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday, school play, clarinet recital, and soccer game in our kids' lives. I want you to love them, and spoil them and teach them things that Kevin and I can't. Like how to throw a right hook for example. I want you there, Viola. I do, up front and center. From this point i will not negotiate."
• (Wanda Sykes) "Damn, that girl can give a nice little speech."

• (Jennifer Lopez) "Motherfu-."

• (Jennifer Lopez) "Hi, it's Charlie. Leave a message."
• (Unnamed) "Hi Charlie, it's Carol from the L.A. Temp Agency. Listen, Dr. Patel's office needs you for tomorrow. Is that ok? Let me know. Bye."
• (Adam Scott) "Morning neighbor."
• (Jennifer Lopez) "Heeeyyy --"
• (Jennifer Lopez) "Help yourself."
• (Adam Scott) "Oh thanks, I was out of everything."
• (Jennifer Lopez) "Uch, why do I even bother?"
• (Jennifer Lopez) "You know Remy, I gave you that key for emergencies -- Extreme emergencies."
• (Adam Scott) "It was. I needed caffeine -- Oh, now this is good. I'd even wear it."
• (Jennifer Lopez) "Good, cause I gotta go. I'm late for my first client."
• (Jennifer Lopez) "But you stay, have breakfast, take a shower -- open my drawers."

• (Jennifer Lopez) "What color are my eyes?"
• (Michael Vartan) "Well, at first glance your eyes are brown. But when the light hits them, they change to amber. And if you look really close around the iris, the color is pure honey. But when you look into the sun, they almost look green. That's my favorite."

• (Jennifer Lopez) ""Lovely property, beautiful bay windows." It's BULLs***. She doesn't even like this neighborhood."

• (Jennifer Lopez) "Oh, man. I've got two asses."

Will Arnett as Kit

• (Kit's Date) "How much longer do we have to stay? I have midterms tomorrow."
• (Will Arnett) "Shhh."

Wanda Sykes as Ruby

• (Wanda Sykes) "You're bringing a girl home -- now? She's just got off from the funny farm."

• (Wanda Sykes) "And take off that damn dress. You look like a giant peach cobbler. You makin' me hungry -- Come on, weathergirl. I'll buy you a box of wine."

• (Wanda Sykes) "Fix your hair. You look like a damn cockatoo."

• (Wanda Sykes) "I think you dislocated my vagina."

• (Wanda Sykes) "Gonna need something stronger than this."

• (Wanda Sykes) "You wanna take this outside?"

• (Wanda Sykes) "I am sick. I am sick, sick, sick of your s***.And when I'm not sick, I'm tired. I'm sick and tired. Now get the car, you old slut."

• (Wanda Sykes) "Charlie's face will blow up like a balloon."
• (Jane Fonda) "Good, then it will match the rest of her body."

Michael Vartan as Dr. Kevin Fields

• (Michael Vartan) "What are you doing the rest of your life?"

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