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Not Another Teen Movie Quotes

Not Another Teen Movie is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Not Another Teen Movie ended in 1970.

It features Plainlist, and Neal H. Moritz as producer, Theodore Shapiro (composer) in charge of musical score, and Reynaldo Villalobos as head of cinematography.

Not Another Teen Movie is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Not Another Teen Movie is 89 minutes long. Not Another Teen Movie is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Chris Evans as Jake, Deon Richmond as Malik, Mia Kirshner as Catherine, Eric Christian Olsen as Austin, Ron Lester as Reggie Ray, JoAnna Garcia as Sandy Sue, Chyler Leigh as Janey, Eric Jungmann as Ricky Lipman, Paul Goebel as Mitch, Paul Gleason as Richard Vernon, Randy Quaid as Mr. Briggs, Jaime Pressly as Priscilla, Lacey Chabert as Amanda, Cerina Vincent as Areola, George Wyner as Mr. Cornish, Samm Levine as Bruce, Sam Huntington as Ox, Chris Evans as Jake Wyler, Josh Radnor as Tour Guide, Chyler Leigh as Janey Briggs, Rob Benedict as Preston, Beverly Polcyn as Roadie, Beverly Polcyn as Sadie, Riley Smith as Les, Ed Lauter as The Coach, and H. Jon Benjamin as Trainer.

Not Another Teen Movie Quotes

Mia Kirshner as Catherine

  • (Mia Kirshner) "Can I ask you a question? Why is it then whenever I tell a guy to put it wherever they want, they always stick it in my ass?"
  • (Deon Richmond) "Damn."
  • (Chris Evans) "That's way too much information for me, Catherine."
  • (Mia Kirshner) "Oh no Jake. Way too much information would be telling you that whenever they're done I always take a huge dump."
  • (Deon Richmond) "s***."
  • (Mia Kirshner) "On their chest."
  • (Deon Richmond) "Oh, that is whack."
  • (Mia Kirshner) "Not scoring any cock, either?"
  • (Beverly Polcyn) "Cock? I've never even been kissed"
  • (Mia Kirshner) "I'm gonna go f*** a complete stranger."
  • (Mia Kirshner) "I want you."
  • (Chris Evans) "Catherine that's disgusting. You're my sister."
  • (Mia Kirshner) "Only by blood."
  • (Chris Evans) "What's wrong with this family?"
  • (Mia Kirshner) "Hi. I'm Catherine."
  • (Uninterested Guy) "I know. We just had sex five minutes ago"
  • (Mia Kirshner) "So what if we have the same mother. Tonight I'm gonna f*** my Brother."
  • (Mia Kirshner) "That's it. I did it. I'm a miracle worker."
  • (Mia Kirshner) "I can help you -- for a price, and this time I don't want your car."
  • (Mia Kirshner) "I'd say you're one big f***ing train wreck."

Chyler Leigh as Janey Briggs

  • (Chyler Leigh) "I knew it. That's a line from "She's All That". I masturbate to that movie."
  • (Chris Evans) "Do you mind?"
  • (Airline Clerk) "Not at all, I think masturbation is very healthy."
  • (Chyler Leigh) "I am a golden goddess."
  • (Chyler Leigh) "It was so hard. I had to take on all of her responsibilities. Cooking -- cleaning -- breast feeding Mitch."

Ed Lauter as The Coach

  • (Ed Lauter) "Wyler, after all the god**** shenanigans you pulled last season, you should be thanking God you're still in god**** uniform, god****it."
  • (Ed Lauter) "Can he still play?"
  • (H. Jon Benjamin) "He's in a coma."
  • (Ed Lauter) "Answer the question."
  • (Ed Lauter) "All right, god**** it, lets hit the showers god**** it. Bunch of candy-asses, we're gonna get our asses kicked Friday."
  • (Chris Evans) "Coach what about fourth-string? I didn't even get to practice --"
  • (Ed Lauter) "Wyler -- after all the god**** shenanigans you pulled last season, you should be thanking god that your still in god**** uniform, god**** it."

Jaime Pressly as Priscilla

  • (Jaime Pressly) "You put the "suck" in "liposuction" You put the "ooo" in "jiu-jitsu" You put the "ism" in "This is all just a defense mechanism"."
  • (Jaime Pressly) "Think you'II be prom queen? WeII, think again, Janey. You put the ass in embarrassment. The boo in taboo. And the suck in Iiposuction."
  • (Chyler Leigh) "Is that the best you can do?"
  • (Jaime Pressly) "No. You aIso put the brat in bratwurst. And the eew in jujitsu. And the ism in, This is aII just a defense mechanism."
  • (cheerleader) "You better bring it."
  • (Jaime Pressly) "Oh, it's already been brought-en."
  • (Jaime Pressly) "Ok we're down a cheerleader for Friday night's state game against North Compton and that squad always tries to bring it."
  • (Ashley) "Bring what Priscilla?"
  • (Jaime Pressly) "Bring IT"
  • (Ashley) "Right but, what it IT?"
  • (Jaime Pressly) "IT's just what they bring OK?,"
  • (Jaime Pressly) "Jake, I need some T-to-the-fourth-power-Y."
  • (Chris Evans) "Huh?"
  • (Jaime Pressly) "Some time to talk to you?"
  • (Jaime Pressly) "This is not a cheer-ocracy, I am the cheer-tator, I will make the cheer-isions around here, and I will deal with the cheer-onsequences."

JoAnna Garcia as Sandy Sue

  • (JoAnna Garcia) "Give me an 'H'. Give me a 'U'. Give me a; giant p*****-licking, ass-f***er cock s***."
  • (JoAnna Garcia) "I'm sorry. That was my Tourette's."

Eric Christian Olsen as Austin

  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "My Freshmen year I threw 176 touchdown passes. My sophomore year I ran in 14 myself -- with a sprained ankle, a broken phalange, a ruptured duodenum, and a sub dermal hematoma."
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Looks like you've got a thing for butt-ugly girls, Mr. I've Got A Thing For Butt-Ugly Girls."
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Jake Wyler. So congratulations man, you just blew my perfect season. Senor You-Just-Blew-My-Perfect-Season."
  • (Chris Evans) "What do you want Austin?"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "A life."
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "And payback."
  • (Chris Evans) "C'mon man, don't do this."
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "No, man, I think I'll hang around. Maybe tell Janey a little S-E-C-R-A-T-P --"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "All I said was, "I'm pretending to whisper a big secret in your ear, so Jake here thinks that I'm telling you a big secret, which will cause him to break into a hysterical confession where he actually reveals -- a big secret. Thus confirming everything I just whispered in your ear.""

Cerina Vincent as Areola

  • (Cerina Vincent) "But I don't need the class schedule. I only come to this country to be object of lust for poor nerds who cannot get American p*****."
  • (George Wyner) "Well, isn't that wonderful?"
  • (Cerina Vincent) "Look at me, my breasts are perky, yes?"

Samm Levine as Bruce

  • (Samm Levine) "Mitch, girl go pee-pee not something I want to see-see."
  • (Sam Huntington) "I agree-gree."
  • (Samm Levine) "What up my yellow brothers? Chinks inda house."
  • (Samm Levine) "Catch you later."
  • (Samm Levine) "What happenin?"
  • (White Guy) "Damn, Shorty, dawg is pretendin to be all Asian, and s***."
  • (White Guy) "That Cracka is white. Can't he see dat yo?"

Chris Evans as Jake

  • (Chris Evans) "Man, go away."
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "No, I think I'll stick around, maybe tell Janie a little s-e-c-r-a -- p."
  • (Chris Evans) "No, not Janey Briggs. She's got glasses. And a ponytail. Ugh, she's got paint on her overalls. What is that?"
  • (Chris Evans) "Who's that?"
  • (Chyler Leigh) "It's my mother."
  • (Chris Evans) "You have her eyes."
  • (Chris Evans) "How could Priscilla dump me, Jake Wyler? I mean who the hell does she think she is?"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "I got two words for ya, Jake: Prom Queen -- material."
  • (Chris Evans) "Austin, she's an illusion. Ok, you take away the make-up, the clothes, the way she wears her hair, the smell of her perfume, that cute little face she makes when she's tonguing my balls. Look she's totally replaceable."
  • (Chris Evans) "Hey Janey. What's up?"
  • (Chyler Leigh) "Excuse me?"
  • (Chris Evans) "So listen, you ever wondered what it'd be like to be the most popular girl in school?"
  • (Chyler Leigh) "You mean anorexic, superficial, a bitch, a whore who lacks any real long-term goals?"
  • (Chris Evans) "Uhhh ha ha -- exactly. So, if you're interested, I thought that maybe we could go out sometime, be seen in public together."
  • (Chyler Leigh) "You haven't spoken to me in, like, four years Jake."
  • (Chris Evans) "Actually, it's more like six, because the time you're referring to when we were standing in line at that movie theater, I was actually saying "hey" to the person right behind you."
  • (Chris Evans) "Where's Janey?"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Little Ms. Run Home To Her Daddy, ran home to her daddy."
  • (Chris Evans) "She's right -- maybe you should get on that plane to Paris. Cause if you stay, we really only have the summer, then I go to college and we'll talk on the phone and spend the occasional weekend together which is nice. But chances are one night I'm gonna get wrecked and have unprotected sex with some girl in my dorm. You'll find her thong and call me a slut -- I'll call you a cock-tease and we'll break up. So when you really think about it, what's the point?"
  • (Chris Evans) "What about her?"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "So baby's got a little back. Hunch, that is. Naah, way too easy."
  • (Chris Evans) "OK."
  • (Albino Folk Singer) "I have no pigment --"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Any girl with a guitar is hot."
  • (Albino Folk Singer) "I need sunscreen --"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Granted, she's a hippy albino. She could still be prom queen."
  • (Chris Evans) "OK, uh, what about the Fratelli sisters?"
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "So they're slightly disfigured and connected at the head. But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick."
  • (Ron Lester) "Yeah, I'd do 'em."
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "I know you would, Reggie Ray. But no, I'm looking for somebody who's really messed up. I'm talking about a real s***bomb."
  • (Eric Christian Olsen) "Well, bombs away."
  • (Chris Evans) "No, no, no, no, anyone but her. Not -- Janie Briggs. Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytail. Aw, look at that, she's got paint on her overalls, what is that? Guys, there's no way she could be prom queen."
  • (Deon Richmond) "Damn. That s***'s whack."
  • (Chris Evans) "So listen, you ever wonder what it would be like to be the most popular girl in school?"
  • (Chyler Leigh) "You mean anorexic, superficial, a bitch, a whore who lacks any real long-term goals?"
  • (Chris Evans) "-- Exactly."
  • (Chris Evans) "Tiffany --"
  • (Chris Evans) "Melanie --"
  • (Chris Evans) "Hey Arthur --"
  • (Chris Evans) "Thanks, MaIik. You're inteIIigent and insightfuI. You don't get the respect you deserve."
  • (Deon Richmond) "That's great. I've aIways wanted to discuss --"
  • (Chris Evans) "I actually got to go. Sorry."
  • (Chris Evans) "Malik, can you hold my books for me?"
  • (Deon Richmond) "Sure, why not? I am the token black guy. I'm just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like; "Damn," "s***," and "That is whack.""

Lacey Chabert as Amanda

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Eric Jungmann as Ricky Lipman

  • (Eric Jungmann) "I am not going to let you hurt Janey again. Okay? Besides, I love her."
  • (Chris Evans) "Well, so do I."
  • (Eric Jungmann) "Yes, but I'm the best friend, and I have been in front of her face the whole time, and she just -- hasn't really realized it yet, but she will."
  • (Chris Evans) "Well, I'm the reformed cool guy, who's learned the error of his ways. She's gonna forgive me for my mistakes, and realize that I really love her."
  • (Eric Jungmann) "Dammit, that's true."
  • (Eric Jungmann) "Heeeeeeeeeeeeere's Ricky."
  • (Chyler Leigh) "Hey Ricky, what'd you do this weekend?"
  • (Eric Jungmann) "Well, Friday night I stood outside your window; in the pouring rain; screaming your name for several hours. And then I spent all of Saturday and Sunday making you this great "Janey I've Been Desperately Trying To Tell You That I Am Madly In Love With You" ummmm -- Mix Tape for your birthday."
  • (Chyler Leigh) "A mix tape? Awwwww that's so sweet Ricky. See you in English."

Riley Smith as Les

  • (Riley Smith) "I'm not ordinary."

Paul Gleason as Richard Vernon

  • (Paul Gleason) "-- Your mother was a?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "Ho."
  • (Paul Gleason) "He was a famous clown."
  • (Paul Goebel) "Bobo."
  • (Sam Huntington) "Mitch cut it out"
  • (Sam Huntington) "stop"
  • (Paul Gleason) "You want another one?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "Yes --"
  • (Paul Gleason) "You got it."
  • (Paul Goebel) "Good."
  • (Paul Gleason) "That's another one. You had enough yet?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "No."
  • (Paul Gleason) "That's another one."
  • (Paul Goebel) "So?"
  • (Paul Gleason) "You just say the word and I'll keep going."
  • (Paul Goebel) "Go."
  • (Paul Gleason) "Eeny meeny miney?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "Mo."
  • (Paul Gleason) "Your mother was a?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "Ho."
  • (Paul Gleason) "He was a famous clown?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "Bobo."
  • (Sam Huntington) "Mitch, cut it out."
  • (Paul Gleason) "That's another one for you."
  • (Sam Huntington) "But I was just --"
  • (Paul Gleason) "That's another one."
  • (Samm Levine) "So, that make one more for Ox or for Mitch?"
  • (Paul Gleason) "Another."
  • (Samm Levine) "I confused."
  • (Paul Gleason) "Shut your hole, Wang Chung. I got all three of you guys for the rest of your natural born lives. You're mine. Next time I come in here I'm"
  • (Paul Gleason) "cracking skulls."

Rob Benedict as Preston

  • (Rob Benedict) "Hey guys, welcome to the party. If you're gonna have sex, please; do it in my parents' bedroom."
  • (Preston's Mother) "Now Preston, I left some money on the kitchen counter. Oh and the emergency numbers are by the phone."
  • (Preston's Father) "And remember son, no parties."
  • (Keg Guy) "Keg commin' through. Hey Preston."
  • (Rob Benedict) "Whats up, man?"
  • (Preston's Father) "We're really trusting you here, Preston."
  • (Beverly Polcyn) "Where to you want these speakers set up, Preston?"
  • (Rob Benedict) "Yeah, just move all the s*** in the dinning room."
  • (Rob Benedict) "Well, you guys really should hit the road, huh? Because I'm about to take your antique Ferrari to the inner-city to buy some hookers."
  • (Preston's Mother) "Well, alright, sweetie. We'll call you later to check in."
  • (Rob Benedict) "Oh, mom. By that point I'll be so high I won't even know where the phone is."
  • (Preston's Mother) "Haha. Thats my boy."

Randy Quaid as Mr. Briggs

  • (Randy Quaid) "Hey, uhh -- I might be late to pick you guys up."
  • (Chyler Leigh) "Why, do you have a job interview today, Daddy?"
  • (Randy Quaid) "No honey, I-I'll probably just be way too drunk."
  • (Chyler Leigh) "Oh, that's good. We don't want you drinking and driving."
  • (Randy Quaid) "Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too s***-faced to remember to pick you guys up."
  • (Chyler Leigh) "Okay. Bye, Daddy."
  • (Randy Quaid) "Bye, Pumpkinhead."

George Wyner as Mr. Cornish

  • (George Wyner) "And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet to turn a rebellious girl into prom queen has been waiting for."

Deon Richmond as Malik

  • (Deon Richmond) "Sure, Why Not?, After All I am Jus the token black guy. I'm jus supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say thing like: "Damn," "s***," and "that's whack.""
  • (Deon Richmond) "I'm only in this song because I'm the black guy."
  • (Deon Richmond) "What are you doing here?"
  • (Other black guy at party) "What do you mean?"
  • (Deon Richmond) "I am supposed to be the only black guy at this party."
  • (Other black guy at party) "Oh, damn. s***."
  • (Deon Richmond) "I know, I know."
  • (Deon Richmond) "It's whack."
  • (Deon Richmond) "Bling-bling."

Ron Lester as Reggie Ray

  • (Ron Lester) "Coach said it's all right to bleed from the ears."

Josh Radnor as Tour Guide

  • (Josh Radnor) "Who would've guessed that everyone in school was a professional dancer?"

Paul Goebel as Mitch

  • (Paul Goebel) "Getting p*****, no matter what."
  • (Samm Levine) "Even if it with dirty slut."
  • (Sam Huntington) "True love is what I want the most."
  • (Fat Short Order Cook) "I just jerked off in your French toast."
  • (Paul Goebel) "God, we're pathetic. How are we ever going to get laid before graduation?"
  • (Sam Huntington) "Mitch, we're freshman."
  • (Paul Goebel) "We were just sitting here like we were supposed to."
  • (Paul Gleason) "I don't want to hear it mister you just bought yourself another detention."
  • (Paul Goebel) "That's not fair."
  • (Paul Gleason) "Cry me a river dickface, you just bought yourself another one."
  • (Paul Goebel) "Shorts."
  • (Paul Gleason) "What was that?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "Eat -- My -- Shorts."
  • (Paul Gleason) "Don't mess with the bull young man you'll get the horns."
  • (Paul Goebel) "I'm shaking."
  • (Paul Gleason) "You just got another."
  • (Paul Goebel) "Good."
  • (Paul Gleason) "You Through?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "Not even close BUD ?"
  • (Paul Gleason) "You want another one?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "Yes."
  • (Paul Gleason) "You got it."
  • (Paul Goebel) "Good."
  • (Paul Gleason) "That's another one, you had enough yet?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "No."
  • (Paul Gleason) "That's another one."
  • (Paul Goebel) "So?"
  • (Paul Gleason) "You just say the word I'll keep going."
  • (Paul Goebel) "Go."
  • (Paul Gleason) "Eennie-meenie-mynie?"
  • (Paul Goebel) "Mo."

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