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Open All Hours Quotes

Open All Hours is a Sitcom that was first aired in 1973 on BBC Two. Open All Hours ended its run in 1985.

Open All Hours aired for 26 episodes. It features Sydney Lotterby as producer, Joseph Ascher as theme composer, and Max Harris (composer) as composer. Open All Hours is executive produced by James Gilbert (producer). Open All Hours is created by Roy Clarke.

Open All Hours is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Open All Hours is 30 minutes long. Open All Hours is produced by BBC and distributed by BBC Worldwide. Spinoffs for this show include Still Open All Hours.

Open All Hours Quotes

  • (Mrs Featherstone) "I'm not a religious woman, but I find if you say no to everything you can hardly tell the difference."
  • (Unnamed) "It's a great burden, Granville. Being holier than everybody else. But I enjoy it."
  • (Unnamed) "I'll have two dozen ounces of liquorice torpedoes. They'll take your mind away from eggs."
  • (Arkwright) "I want a w-w-word with you."
  • (Granville) "That's three words."
  • (Arkwright) "That girl of Grimshaw's."
  • (Granville) "Big Edna?"
  • (Arkwright) "Have you been kn-kn-knocking"
  • (Granville) "I have only admired her from a distance."
  • (Arkwright) "Let me finish. Have you been kn-kn-knocking coppers off her weekly order?"
  • (Granville) "You do the same for Mrs Featherstone."
  • (Arkwright) "Not without putting them back somewhere else."
  • (Granville) "Well, there's a great day for discoveries. My mother was the fisherman's friend and I've got a bottom half called Hugo."
  • (Mrs Blewitt) "I wouldn't give tuppence for his kidneys. How much is your boiled ham?"
  • (Milk Round Supervisor) "Seriously, have you thought about a drawbridge?"
  • (Unnamed) "Next time you feel desperate for an egg, lad, pause, and remember where it's come from. The world's full of nasty places, Granville."
  • (Arkwright) "I hate that scrunching sound errand boys make when you have to stand on them."
  • (Arkwright) "You've got the evenings free, haven't you?"
  • (Granville) "Yeah, knowing you, they'd HAVE to be free. Anyway, WHAT evenings? We don't close here 'till nine o'clock at night."
  • (Arkwright) "One day, Granville, all this will be y-yours. Lock-lock-lock-lock-lock-lock, stock and barrel. I'm always t-telling you this."
  • (Granville) "Yes I know, every time I ask for a rise."
  • (Arkwright) "Oh, you wound me sometimes, Granville."
  • (Granville) "How?"
  • (Arkwright) "That time I sat on your bicycle clip springs to mind."
  • (Mrs Blewitt) "So. You're going to Parslow's funeral."
  • (Arkwright) "Yes. Even though it's very unlikely that he'll ever come to mine."
  • (Arkwright) "Well done. And you certainly have been."
  • (Nurse Gladys Emmanuel) "My God. There's nothing frightens you more than a furtive grocer."
  • (Granville) "Look at the time. Quarter to nine and I'm held here in the clutches of my wicked uncle."
  • (Arkwright) "Your uncle is going to be wicked across the road, clutching something else entirely."
  • (Arkwright) "Scotch broth? That's very exotic. I'm afraid I don't have any in small tins. Only large tins."
  • (Mavis) "Oh."
  • (Arkwright) "I can't cut it in half Mavis. It all f-flops out. Tell you what. I'll sell you a large tin but I'll only charge you for two small tins."
  • (Granville) "The nurse will be watching."
  • (Granville) "I've got the blood of poets and lovers in my veins."
  • (Arkwright) "Yes. And at least one electrician."
  • (Nurse Gladys Emmanuel) "What are your meringues like?"
  • (Arkwright) "I'm not telling you till after we're married."
  • (Unnamed) "I'll have a large washing-up liquid."
  • (Arkwright) "I think I'll join you."
  • (Arkwright) "D'ya know what you need? A good walloping."
  • (Nurse Gladys Emmanuel) "Oh, yeah and who's gonna give it to me?"
  • (Arkwright) "I? I? I am."
  • (Nurse Gladys Emmanuel) "Oh, three of you."
  • (Granville) "Do you reckon they can stitch fingers back on these days?"
  • (Mrs Featherstone) "Not even my husband used to get that close."
  • (Arkwright) "Dear God. Where did you catch her?"
  • (Nurse Gladys Emmanuel) "She has a face like a fit."
  • (Arkwright) "Aye, but what it would fit, I'll never know. It is like her facial muscles don't know the meaning of the word "teamwork"."
  • (Arkwright) "You look all sinister and Hungarian."
  • (Granville) "Hungarians don't look like this."
  • (Arkwright) "Badly-dressed Hungarians do."
  • (Granville) "I look like an idiot."
  • (Arkwright) "Yes."
  • (Mavis) "I don't know whether to take a tin of luncheon meat."
  • (Arkwright) "Is it on your list?"
  • (Mavis) "Yes --"
  • (Mavis) "-- But I crossed it out."
  • (Granville) "Did you know that the last time he was out all day was back in 1957?"
  • (The Milk Woman) "1957? Where did he go?"
  • (Granville) "Have his appendix out."
  • (Arkwright) "Didn't you hear the weather fore-fore-forecast?"
  • (Granville) "The "fore-fore-forecast"? That's three fours are twelve -- don't you mean the weather "twelvecast"?"
  • (Arkwright) "Oh, so we're giving flowers to the milkwoman's boyfriend now?"

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