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Out Cold (2001 film) Quotes

Out Cold (2001 film) is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Out Cold ended in 1970.

It features Double-O as producer, Michael Andrews (musician) in charge of musical score, and Richard Crudo as head of cinematography.

Out Cold (2001 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Out Cold (2001 film) is 89 minutes long. Out Cold (2001 film) is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Derek Hamilton as Pig Pen, Zach Galifianakis as Luke, David Koechner as Stumpy, A. J. Cook as Jenny, Jason London as Rick, Flex Alexander as Anthony, Todd Richards as Barry, Derek Hamilton as Pigpen, David Denman as Lance, Lee Majors as John Majors, Thomas Lennon as Eric Montclare, and Victoria Silvstedt as Inga.

Out Cold (2001 film) Quotes

David Koechner as Stumpy

  • (David Koechner) "It's called the '80s. Ford was president, Nixon was in the White House, and FDR was running this country into the ground."
  • (David Koechner) "Did I ever tell you about the time I invented snowboarding? Ya I don't want credit for it but they keep on giving it to me --"
  • (David Koechner) "I was there. Yeah, it was called the '80s. Ford was President, Nixon was in the White House and FDR was running this country into the ground. I was bummin' in a hole-in-a-wall town in what is now called Utah. Some fella from Colorado shows up, starts making so called "improvements", right? Before we knew what hit us, the streets are running with latte. It got so bad that a fella that liked to, you know -- smoke a little grass or drink a little ripple. Crow like a rooster, maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentlemen's duel, was "uncouth, against God." More like bad real estate values. Stumpy had to go."
  • (David Koechner) "Oh you foolish foolish boys. This is how it all starts. I've seen it all before. I was there. I was there. Yeah. It was called the 80's. Ford was President, Nixon was in the White House, FDR was running this country into the ground. I was bumming in a hole in the wall town in what is now called "Utah". Some fellow from Colorado shows up- starts making all kinds of so called "improvements", right? Before we knew what hit us, the streets were running us with lattes."
  • (Jason London) "No?"
  • (David Koechner) "Yup --. It got so bad that a fellow that liked to, you know, smoke a little grass or drink a little ripple. Crow like a rooster. Maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentlemen's duel, is uncouth, "Against God." and bad for real estate values. STUMPY HAD TO GOOOO. Richard, be careful what you wish for."
  • (Jason London) "You got it Stump"
  • (David Koechner) "Be careful what you wish for."
  • (Jason London) "I will"
  • (David Koechner) "Alright?"
  • (Jason London) "GOD."
  • (David Koechner) "I'm good"
  • (Derek Hamilton) "You better put something on that"
  • (David Koechner) "Rick. I'm your father."
  • (Jason London) "Ok whatever."

Derek Hamilton as Pig Pen

  • (Derek Hamilton) "Hello Inga. I've never been a man of words, but there's something I have to say to you. Inga, I've loved you from the first time that I saw you, and I love you more than any man's ever loved a woman that he's never actually spoken to. I'm only gonna offer this once. Inga, will you -- have sex with me?"
  • (Victoria Silvstedt) "Nothing would piss off my stepfather more. Let's do this."
  • (Derek Hamilton) "So, are you like a crippled guy?"
  • (Todd Richards) "Naw, I'm just a really lazy guy."
  • (Derek Hamilton) "Carpe the Diem. Seize The Carp."
  • (Unnamed) "Get outta here."
  • (Derek Hamilton) "I'm gonna take Kung-Fu and kick you're friggen ass. We'll have the party at our place -- We don't need their fancy-smancy gent and their blue ropes."
  • (Derek Hamilton) "Lance, if you weren't gay, you'd be a pretty weird guy."
  • (Derek Hamilton) "Im gonna need a bucket, a paint brush, and ten pounds of salt. Lance, get his pants."
  • (Derek Hamilton) "Here's what I don't get, alright, is you met this chick and you got freaky-deaky with her and then poof. She disappears. How's there a problem with that?"

Victoria Silvstedt as Inga

  • (Victoria Silvstedt) "Where did you get all these scars?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Well, let's see. Skateboard -- Truck accident -- Fire hydrant."
  • (Victoria Silvstedt) "I bet each one has its own exciting story, no?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "No not really. I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant."
  • (Victoria Silvstedt) "I was wondering if you can make a kind of drink. It's called -- what is the word in English for this --"
  • (Derek Hamilton) "Horny-maker."

Jason London as Rick

  • (Jason London) "You're pretty good with these kids. They seem to like you."
  • (A. J. Cook) "Well, I seem to have experience dealing with immature boys."
  • (Jason London) "Ouch."
  • (Jason London) "Pig Pen, when I want advice about a good Planet of the Apes film or maybe how to get the resin out of my bong I'll come to you ok? But I am not gonna take romantic advice from somebody who cannot spell romantic or advice -- or bong."
  • (Jason London) "Bull Mountain is our home, and I say we do something about it."
  • (Derek Hamilton) "Yeah. It is our town."
  • (A. J. Cook) "Yeah."
  • (Todd Richards) "So you got a plan?"
  • (Jason London) "No."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "I'm in."
  • (Flex Alexander) "Me too."
  • (A. J. Cook) "Let's do it."

Zach Galifianakis as Luke

  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Well, yeah it dosen't really allow my dice to roll and by dice I mean testicles. Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Good evening. You all know the rules of King of the Mountain. Rule number one: you do not talk about King of the Mountain. Rule number two: there are no rules."
  • (Flex Alexander) "Uh, what about rule number one?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "That's more of a guidline than a rule, do not interrupt."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "This suit is really cramping my Hardy Boys. It's no mystery."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Can you get an STD from a polar bear?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "A little sensitivity here. Can't you see this is a dejected man?"
  • (Derek Hamilton) "Now Rick, get your dejected head out of your ass. Papa wanted you to run this mountain."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "There you are, I've been looking for you, come inside, you look so beautiful and I wanted to see if you wanted to dance --"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Not you, him and his white tuxedo."
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "He's had a crush on that bench for years"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "You know I hate what they're doing to the mountain, but this is the best vanilla latte I have ever had. You can actually taste the vanilla beans -- I don't like the coffee."

Thomas Lennon as Eric Montclare

  • (Thomas Lennon) "Luke, why don't you shut up before my fist makes an appointment with your ass?"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Eric, do you notice you're always talking about sticking something in my ass, and that time it wasn't even a threat,"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "technically, that was flirting --"
  • (Thomas Lennon) "Welcome to your first random drug test."
  • (Derek Hamilton) "I don't have to write a test to tell you I do drugs --"

David Denman as Lance

  • (David Denman) "There are gonna be some hotties, some slammin' bods with pants so tight it looks like they're painted on. Man, I love chicks. And chicks love me, so it's all good."
  • (David Denman) "Hey. Hot sluts with tits."
  • (Jason London) "Lance, you don't need to do that anymore, remember?"
  • (David Denman) "Oh yeah. Sorry. Old habits die hard. Oh what the hell; I LOVE MEN. Who wants me?"
  • (Jason London) "Well you don't need to do that either --"

Todd Richards as Barry

  • (Todd Richards) "So, uh, who's the "jaccuzi casanova?""
  • (David Koechner) "That's him right there"
  • (Zach Galifianakis) "Thanks Stumpy"
  • (David Koechner) "Yeah, they call him that because he had himself all up in it, lovin' it strong."

Lee Majors as John Majors

  • (Lee Majors) "No offense short-stack but you give me the creeps."

A. J. Cook as Jenny

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Flex Alexander as Anthony

  • (Flex Alexander) "Welcome to el Matador, spanish for, The Matador."

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