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Peter's Two Dads Quotes

Peter's Two Dads is a television program that debuted in 1970 . Peter's Two Dads stopped airing in 1970.

Peter's Two Dads Quotes

  • (Peter Griffin) "All I know is, that somewhere in great land of Ireland, there is a fat bastard just like me."
  • (Unnamed) "Name, sir?"
  • (Unnamed) "Robert Loggia."
  • (Unnamed) "Could you spell it out for me?"
  • (Unnamed) "Certainly. Robert Loggia. R as in Robert Loggia. O as in "Oh my god, it's Robert Loggia." B as in "By God. It's Robert Loggia." E as in "Everybody loves Robert Loggia." R as in Robert Loggia. T as in "Tim, look over there. It's Robert Loggia." Space. L as in "Look. It's Robert Loggia.""
  • (Peter) "Oh, he doesn't smell like Irish Spring and he never taught me anything, but still I slap my chest and sing of My Drunken Irish Dad. Oh, his face looks like a railroad map and he never shuts his freakin' trap --"
  • (Mickey) "But all the ladies catch the clap from your Drunken Irish Dad."
  • (Peter) "Ask a Hennessey, Tennessey, Morrison, Shaughnessy, Reidon and Rooney, they'll tell you the same. McNulty, Mulrooney, and Carter and Clooney all feel the same mixture of pride and of shame."
  • (Mickey) "Finnegan, Hannigan, Kelly and Flanagan look to the ground when their dad passes by. Cafferty, Rafferty Joyce and O'Lafferty fight for his honor and then start to cry."
  • (Mickey) "Oh, we Irish lads are all infirm and our moods infect us like a germ, 'cause we're all the spawn of a pickled sperm."
  • (Mickey) "And we don't tan well either."
  • (Unnamed) "-- from a Drunken Irish Dad."
  • (Peter Griffin) "But there is one thing, Mickey. You knocked up my Mom and never called her again."
  • (Mickey) "Yeah, so what?"
  • (Peter Griffin) "So what? So let's dance."
  • (Brian Griffin) "Peter, what are you doing?"
  • (Peter Griffin) "Crack."
  • (Brian Griffin) "What the --"
  • (Peter Griffin) "Hey, at least I'm not drinking, Brian."
  • (Brian Griffin) "Yeah, this isn't exactly a good substitute. Where'd you get crack?"
  • (Peter Griffin) "From Black's"
  • (Brian Griffin) "What?"
  • (Peter Griffin) "Yeah, right behind Black's Hardware store. There's a white guy selling it"
  • (Mickey) "As we say in Ireland: "Let's drink until the alcohol in our systems destroys our livers and kills us.""
  • (Unnamed) "What do you want? What do you want for Christmas?"
  • (Stewie Griffin) "Um. I was thinking maybe one of those old timey --"
  • (Unnamed) "Too late. Take too long. Sad Christmas."
  • (Unnamed) "What do you want?"
  • (Unnamed) "Fire Truck."
  • (Unnamed) "What color?"
  • (Unnamed) "Red."
  • (Unnamed) "Next."
  • (Lois Griffin) "So, Meg, your birthday's coming up, huh? You excited about turningggggg -- eh?"
  • (Peter Griffin) "Uh, Meg, uh, I got sixteen candles for your birthday cake. How does that sound?"
  • (Meg Griffin) "That's not right."
  • (Peter Griffin) "So, less -- more -- too many -- uh, not enough?"
  • (Meg Griffin) "You stupid son of a bitch. You don't even know how old I am."
  • (Lois Griffin) "Meg, that kind of language is not appropriate for a girl your age -- or is it?"
  • (Meg Griffin) "I'm gonna be seventeen, you jerks."
  • (Peter Griffin) "She's the jerk."
  • (Meg Griffin) "I can't believe Grandpa's dead."
  • (Lois Griffin) "Well, he did kinda treat us like crap, but yes, it is a tragedy."
  • (Brian Griffin) "It is a tragedy."
  • (Lois Griffin) "Excuse us."
  • (Brian Griffin) "Yeah, we'll be right back."
  • (Lois Griffin) "We're all gonna miss him."
  • (Brian Griffin) "Tragic."
  • (Peter Griffin) "Dad, I'm so sorry I broke all your ribs and busted your spleen and punctured your lung. I-I don't know if you can hear me right now, but -- I hope you know -- I love you, Dad."
  • (Francis Griffin) "Peter -- come closer. There's something -- I need to say to you."
  • (Peter Griffin) "I'm here, Dad. What is it?"
  • (Francis Griffin) "Peter -- you're a fat, stinking drunk."
  • (Peter Griffin) "Oh, my God, he's dead. He can't be dead. There's gotta be something I can do. Maybe I'll bury him in the Pet Cemetery."
  • (Peter Griffin) "Okay, I'll bury him in a regular cemetery."
  • (Brian Griffin) "Boy, it's amazing, isn't it? You get two fathers, and neither one of them wants anything to do with you."
  • (Peter Griffin) "There's got to be some way I can make him see that I am worthy of being his son. But the only way I could ever impress him is if I was a fat, stinking drunk."
  • (Francis Griffin) "Peter. You are a fat stinking drunk."
  • (Peter Griffin) "What?"
  • (Francis Griffin) "You're a fat, stinking drunk."
  • (Unnamed) "Yes, from what he's told us, that's right on the money."
  • (Unnamed) "Challenge him you must."
  • (Unnamed) "And I'm Hayden Christensen."

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