(Article is below...)

Punchline (film) Quotes

Punchline (film) is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . Punchline stopped airing in 1970.

It features Daniel Melnick as producer, Gary Anderson in charge of musical score, and Reynaldo Villalobos as head of cinematography.

Punchline (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Punchline (film) is 122 minutes long. Punchline (film) is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Sally Field as Lilah Krytsick, Tom Hanks as Steven, John Goodman as John, Sally Field as Lilah, Tom Hanks as Steven Gold, Kim Greist as Madeline Urie, and Taylor Negron as Albert Emperato.

Punchline (film) Quotes

Taylor Negron as Albert Emperato

  • (Taylor Negron) "You don't want carpet. You want an area rug."

John Goodman as John

  • (John Goodman) "$500. What the hell did you buy for 500 dollars?"
  • (Sally Field) "Jokes."

Tom Hanks as Steven

  • (Tom Hanks) "We are all Gods animated cartoons."
  • (Tom Hanks) "If you're sending someone down, you better send him fast; 'cuz funny Steve's going under."
  • (Tom Hanks) "I've been coming down here for 18 months. 18 months. And I have not missed a night. I take the money that my father sends me and I pay for a shrink, and I buy groceries. Now I owe my shrink, and I'm behind in my rent. My roommate's a bastard; he's changed the locks in in my front door; I can't get in. He won't give me a key until I pay him. You wanna play games? I can play games. I can play games. I can play ventriloquist with my underwear. I can play darts while maintaining an erection. I can gargle dishwater and fart O Canada at the same time. I can play piano without being popular. I once had this dream; I was dancing on the streetcorner with a jackhammer up my ass; now that was either a sex dream or I need more fiber in my diet. If any of this is turning you on, just let me know."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Don't be scared, 'cuz I'm Funny Steve -- with a lampshade on his head. Singing and dancing, for your entertainment, his own rendition of "Singin' in the Rain"."

Sally Field as Lilah Krytsick

  • (Sally Field) "Hello, my name is Lilah Krytsick, and on our wedding night, my husband gave me something very long and hard -- a new name."
  • (Sally Field) "Oh okay, so I'm not funny, SHOOT ME."

Kim Greist as Madeline Urie

  • (Kim Greist) "Is; is this a joke?"

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.




Additional Film and TV Quotes

Magnificent Obsession (1935 film) Quotes | Magnificent Obsession (1954 film) Quotes | For Whom the Bell Tolls (film) Quotes | The Unknown Soldier (1985 film) Quotes | The Unknown Soldier (1955 film) Quotes | The Iron Horse (film) Quotes | The Goodies (TV series) Quotes | Mind Ripper Quotes | Sympathy for the Underdog Quotes | The Hills Have Eyes Part II Quotes | The Legend of Paul and Paula Quotes | Pusher 3 Quotes | The Devil and Max Devlin Quotes | Good Advice Quotes | The Last Flight of Noah's Ark Quotes | Girls Aloud: Off the Record Quotes | Smooth Talk Quotes | The World Is Hot Enough Quotes | Page 3 (film) Quotes | Kill Your Darlings (2006 film) Quotes | In Search of Dr. Seuss Quotes | The Phantom Tollbooth (film) Quotes | One Good Cop Quotes | Once Upon a Time (TV series) Quotes | One Piece: The Cursed Holy Sword Quotes |