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Queer as Folk (U.S. TV series) Quotes

Queer as Folk is a Drama (film and television) that debuted in 2000 on Showtime (TV network). Queer as Folk ended its run in 2005.

Queer as Folk was on for 5 seasons and 83 episodes.

Queer as Folk is recorded in English and originally aired in Canada. Each episode of Queer as Folk is 44-58 minutes long. Queer as Folk is produced by Temple Street Productions and distributed by Warner Bros. Television.

The cast includes: Harris Allan as Hunter, Nancy Anne Sakovich as Ted, Robert Gant as Ben, Harris Allan as Monty, Nancy Anne Sakovich as Leda, Meredith Henderson as Calvin, Matt Battaglia as Drew Boyd, and Harris Allan as Mel.

Queer as Folk Quotes

Nancy Anne Sakovich as Ted

  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "I saw you. f***ing. When I woke up. I thought: I'm in hell and this is my punishment, watching Brian Kinney f***ing for all eternity."
  • (Brian Kinney) "You should be so lucky."
  • (Justin) "Bed rest is an important part of every recovery."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "Thank you, Doogie Howser."
  • (Troy) "f***ing losers. They just don't get it, do they? These guys, I feel sorry for them. I can't help it, it's my nature. So out of the goodness of my heart, I have sex with them, give them something to remember for a rainy day. But it's never enough. They're pitiful. f***ing pitiful."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "I know what you mean -- I was one of them."
  • (Troy) "What? You're hot."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "You didn't think so then. Pride, 2002."
  • (Troy) "Thought there was something familiar about you."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "Yeah, I was one of your pity f***s. A fact you made painfully clear. Well, guess what? Now you're mine."
  • (Emmett) "Teddy, how many of those power bars have you had?"
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "Who's counting?"
  • (Emmett) "I am. That's your fourth. Do you know the number of carbs in those things, not to mention the calories?"
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "So I'll burn 'em off."
  • (Emmett) "Honey, you'd have to go up in flames."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "I could fix you up with my sister -- Only, she looks like me in a dress."
  • (Debbie) "Do you know what MYOB stands for?"
  • (Debbie) "Mind your own f***ing business."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "Shouldn't there be an "f" in there?"
  • (Emmett) "Mmm."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "You must be the Anti-Christ. Big fan."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "Every year I always wish for the same thing; a boyfriend. Someone to love who'll love me. This year I think I'm gonna wish for something else. The wisdom and maturity to realize that I won't find what I want by looking for it. Not expect someone else to give me what I never gave myself. That I'm not a half waiting to be made a whole. And even if that special person never comes along -- I'll be just fine."
  • (Blake Wyzecki) "Ted?"
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "Blake?"
  • (Blake Wyzecki) "I thought it was you."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "What are you doing here?"
  • (Blake Wyzecki) "I'm on the gay ski team. And it's gay ski week."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "Right. Uh, you remember --"
  • (Blake Wyzecki) "Emmett."
  • (Emmett) "Yeah, wow, what a surprise. And Teddy was just about to hang up his skis."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "It's like playing with fire. I mean -- what if a condom breaks? Or he's flossing his teeth and his gums bleed?"
  • (Brian) "Or he shoots off his load and you're bending over to tie your shoe and it accidentally flies up your ass --"
  • (Brian) "I want it."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "Oh, you want it. What for?"
  • (Brian) "I gotta keep the boys off the street at night. I gotta provide them with a warm, friendly environment in which to use illegal substances and have promiscuous sex; safely, of course."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "Noble sentiment. But investment-wise, not very practical."
  • (Brian) "And what would be practical, Theodore? To get married? And move to the suburbs? And become a home-lovin', child-raisin', God-fearin' imitation heterosexual? And for what? So that I can become another dead soul, goin' to the mall, droppin' my kids off at school, and having barbecues in the backyard? That's their death. Not mine. I'm a cock-sucker. I'm queer. And to anyone who takes pity or offense, I say, "judge yourself." This is where I live. This is who I am."
  • (Justin) "I f***ed him so hard my dick's gonna be sore for a week."
  • (Brian Kinney) "I don't wanna hear about it."
  • (Michael) "Actually, I wanna hear more --"
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "Speak slowly and enunciate --"
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "The contractor just told me that Babylon will be back on its dancing feet in no time with enough insurance money left over to put in that new sound system."
  • (Brian) "That's good news. Except I've decided not to reopen the club."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "What?"
  • (Brian) "Babylon is history."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "But it's your baby, your toy, your personal playground."
  • (Brian) "Well, now it's a battleground."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "What are you gonna do with it?"
  • (Brian) "You said there're developers who wanna tear it down, put in a mini mall."
  • (Nancy Anne Sakovich) "And you said you'd sooner die than see our happy homo home homogenized."
  • (Brian) "Enough people have already died. Anyway, who'd pay 20 bucks to dance in the memory of bombs and corpses?"

Matt Battaglia as Drew Boyd

  • (Matt Battaglia) "I was asked to say a few words tonight. I asked "why?" They said, "Because you're a hero." A hero -- Because I played football? Because after a lifetime of denial I was finally honest about who I am? I don't call that heroic. What is heroic is standing up for the rights you deserve, no matter what the consequences. And that's exactly what those who were injured -- and who lost their lives last night were doing. Or trying to before they were stopped. But they were up against a powerful opponent; hatred. Hatred spread by those that want to deny others what's rightfully theirs. In the name of their God, their family, their country. I guess they forgot that America belongs to everyone."

Harris Allan as Mel

  • (Michael) "You can't open someone else's mail. It's a federal offense."
  • (Harris Allan) "I can see it now: I'm on Death Row awaiting a lethal injection. This mass murderer who killed 48 babies and ate them asks me what I'm being executed for. I say, "Opening Ben's letter.""
  • (Harris Allan) "Two hours for a f***in' Band-Aid. Good thing I wasn't decapitated or I'd be sitting in that god**** Emergency Room holding my head all night."
  • (Michael Charles Novotny) "This guy could have killed you."
  • (Harris Allan) "They all could."
  • (Michael Charles Novotny) "Well, if you know that why do you do it?"
  • (Harris Allan) "I have low self-esteem. I was sexualized at too early an age. It's exciting, fun, and a great way to make non-reportable income."
  • (Michael Charles Novotny) "I would like an honest answer, smart-ass."
  • (Brian Kinney) "He just gave you one."
  • (Harris Allan) "Which one of you is the gardener and which one's the chef?"
  • (Justin) "I really like cooking."
  • (Brian) "And I love planting my seed in some hole --"
  • (Brian) "-- in the ground."
  • (Michael Charles Novotny) "You f***ed a murderer?"
  • (Harris Allan) "What's the big deal? I used a condom."
  • (Brian Kinney) "Well, your safe sex lecture paid off."
  • (Harris Allan) "Don't f*** with Mother Nature, huh? Well, I'm here to tell her, don't f*** with me."

Robert Gant as Ben

  • (Robert Gant) "Instead of being our foster son, we'd like you to be our real son. That is, if you'd like us to be your fathers."
  • (Harris Allan) "You mean, you wanna adopt me?"
  • (Michael) "As soon as possible, in case Prop 14 passes."
  • (Harris Allan) "Today Michael and Ben asked me to be their son -- I said yes."
  • (Robert Gant) "Brian."
  • (Brian) "Excellent, Professor. You recognize the subject and can identify him by name."
  • (Robert Gant) "We've gone to bed."
  • (Brian) "That's right, I forgot. The Stepford Husbands turn in early."
  • (Michael) "He was determined to leave so he left. There wasn't anything we could've done to stop him. Why are you beating yourself up over it?"
  • (Robert Gant) "Because he was my blood. You still have a healthy baby daughter, Michael. She'll be loved, sent to a good school, raised in a world where she'll have every chance, every opportunity. Not like Hunter who had nothing. Less than nothing. I wanted to give him all those things he never had."
  • (Michael) "So did I"
  • (Robert Gant) "But I failed."
  • (Michael) "You didn't fail."
  • (Robert Gant) "Yes I did. I did fail."
  • (Michael) "We gave him a home, everything we could of ourselves to make him part of our family."
  • (Robert Gant) "Then why isn't he still here?"
  • (Robert Gant) "Michael, we can't tell him not to use drugs if we do it ourselves."
  • (Michael) "Of course we can. That's what being a parent is all about."
  • (Michael) "Can I have your attention, please? I would like to offer a toast to the memory of Brian Kinney. Out-going, friendly, some would say to a fault, he never met a man he didn't like."
  • (Robert Gant) "In his younger days, Brian dreamed of being a lawyer. He said, "I want to get innocent men off. I'll go to any length to get to the bottom of things.""
  • (Emmett) "Later on in life, he devoted himself to volunteer work. It's true. If he heard that someone was laid up, or flat on his back, he'd come time and time again until they felt better."
  • (Michael) "So, now that he's gone, I'm sure that there's not a man in this room who wouldn't agree that he has left a hole that can never be filled. Here's to Brian."
  • (Debbie) "It's three days. Three f***ing days and not one f***ing word. Except for this strange cryptic message; Don't worry, Ma, I'm all right."
  • (Justin) "Doesn't sound strange or cryptic to me."
  • (Debbie) "Well, you're not a mother."
  • (Robert Gant) "I just talked to him, Debbie, and he's all right."
  • (Debbie) "He is not all right. A mother can always read between the lines. It's the first time since Michael's learned how to pick up a phone that we haven't talked three times a day."
  • (Justin) "Three?"
  • (Brian Kinney) "I know, it explains so much."
  • (Robert Gant) "Your friend Stockwell chased all the hustlers off Liberty Avenue; now they're right under our bedroom window."
  • (Brian Kinney) "Say what you will about city living, you can't beat it for the convenience."

Meredith Henderson as Calvin

  • (Meredith Henderson) "Pardon me, but aren't you Emmett Honeycutt, of the Hazelhurst, Mississippi Honeycutts?"
  • (Emmett) "Why, yes I am. And you are?"
  • (Meredith Henderson) "Ah --"
  • (Emmett) "Oh, my God. You're Calvin Colpepper. You were on the boys' swim team in high school. I used to go to those meets just hoping your trunks would slip off."
  • (Meredith Henderson) "Oh, now --"
  • (Emmett) "But I always thought you were, um --"
  • (Meredith Henderson) "So did I."
  • (Emmett) "So what do you say we go back to my room and reminisce about old times?"
  • (Meredith Henderson) "There's not that much to reminisce about."
  • (Emmett) "I know."

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