Road Trip (film) Quotes

Road Trip (film) is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . Road Trip ended its run in 1970.

It features Daniel Goldberg; Joe Medjuck as producer, Michael Simpson (producer) in charge of musical score, and Mark Irwin as head of cinematography.

Road Trip (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Road Trip (film) is 94 minutes long. Road Trip (film) is distributed by The Montecito Picture Company.

The cast includes: Seann William Scott as E.L., Amy Smart as Beth, Paulo Costanzo as Rubin, Andy Dick as Motel Clerk, Tom Green as Barry, Breckin Meyer as Josh, DJ Qualls as Kyle, Fred Ward as Earl Edwards, and Anthony Rapp as Jacob.

Road Trip (film) Quotes

Paulo Costanzo as Rubin

• (Paulo Costanzo) "It's supposed to be a challenge, that's why they call it a shortcut. If it was easy it would just be the way."

• (Paulo Costanzo) "What class is that again?"
• (Paulo Costanzo) "Ancient philosophy."
• (Paulo Costanzo) "Well I can teach you ancient philosophy in 46 hours."
• (Breckin Meyer) "Really?"
• (Paulo Costanzo) "Yeah, I can teach Japanese to a monkey in 46 hours. They key is just finding a way to relate to the material."

• (Paulo Costanzo) "This is sort of an unusual question, but do you have any marijuana I might be able to buy from you? Our car exploded last night and I'm practically all out of my own."
• (Andy Dick) "Am I a drug dealer? No, I am not. Thank you for asking, though."
• (Paulo Costanzo) "No? OK. That's OK. Thanks."
• (Andy Dick) "Is there anything else I can help you with? Perhaps you'd like an 11-year old prostitute sent to your room. We can do that. Or maybe we can off someone for you. Huh? How's that sound? I've got it. Why don't we start small? Would you like a fresh towel? Maybe you could roll that up and smoke it."
• (Paulo Costanzo) "Dick."
• (Andy Dick) "By the way, Cheech, that credit card you guys gave me last night was maxed out, so don't go spending all your cash on needles and guns just yet."

• (Paulo Costanzo) "I just said we'd make it across. I didn't say anything about the wheels staying on."
• (Breckin Meyer) "What the hell are we gonna do now? I'm totally screwed. I don't have time to be walking through the woods right now."

Breckin Meyer as Josh

• (Carla) "Hello?"
• (Breckin Meyer) "Hi Carla, it's Josh. I'm sorry to bother you. Is Tiffany around?"
• (Carla) "Tiffany is not here. She didn't sleep here last night, again, and it'd be great if one hour went by where you didn't call."
• (Breckin Meyer) "Right."
• (Carla) "If she wanted to talk to you, she'd call you. Deal with it."
• (Breckin Meyer) "Bitch."
• (Seann William Scott) "Did she sound hot?"

Tom Green as Barry

• (Student in the Tour) "Girls don't just walk around naked."
• (Tom Green) "Uh, yeah they do."

• (Tom Green) "Austin? Austin, Massachusetts?"

• (Tom Green) "Unleash the fury."

• (Tom Green) "Welcome to the University of Ithica. This is it, right here. This is what we're talkin about. I'm gonna give you a good tour today. Show you as much, as much as you need to know, plus a, plus a whole lt more actually. So this is the main area of the University. You'll be getting used to this area. This is sort of where you congregate with your friends and classmates. Come in around me everyone, come in around me. Don't straggle. We've had prblems -- I've had problems with stragglers before, okay? They get lost in the back. They get hit by trucks, okay? It's not pretty, It's not pretty when it happens. This is the uh -- By the way this is the Joseph H. Nelson library here, okay? It was built in the, uh -- 1600s."
• (Student in the Tour) "1600s? It says 1951."
• (Tom Green) "That's the address. Okay? Wise-ass."

• (Tom Green) "Tiny salmon swimming in a stream / Tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream / The mynah bird says, "Caw. Ca-Caw" / The chimpanzee says, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" / The friendly owl says, "Hoo, hoo-hoo" / But the salmon can only say, "Bloobloobloobloo. Blooboloobloobloo. Blooboloobolooooo-Blooblooo-Bloobloobloo." / And it's sad."

Seann William Scott as E.L.

• (Seann William Scott) "Barry, hit the lights. It's boner time."

• (Seann William Scott) "Well, there are these rules that guys have, an understanding as to what exactly constitutes cheating. Take your situation for example: it's not cheating. It's never cheating when you're in a different area code, not to mention a different state."
• (DJ Qualls) "That makes no sense."
• (Seann William Scott) "Hey, don't look at me Kyle, OK, I didn't make up the rules."
• (Paulo Costanzo) "No no, this is legit, I- I've actually read an article about this. There's a whole bunch of them, it's like- they're like loopholes. Right, for argument's sake, let's say that you were sleeping with two girls at the same time, it- it wouldn't be cheating because they would cancel each other out."
• (Seann William Scott) "Exactly. Or if, uh, you're too wasted to remember- it is not cheating. Because if you can't really remember it, it never really took place."

• (Seann William Scott) "What else am I supposed to do, stay here and learn?"

• (Seann William Scott) "I thought I told you to mail this yesterday?"
• (Paulo Costanzo) "Yeah, I posted it this morning."
• (Seann William Scott) "OH f***."
• (Seann William Scott) "W-w-w-wait a second. Tell me you mailed the Beth tape to Tiffany."
• (Seann William Scott) "Yes."
• (Breckin Meyer) "s***. Oh, no. Oh, no."
• (Tom Green) "Hey, hey."
• (Breckin Meyer) "What?"
• (Tom Green) "Did you make a copy? Because if you made a copy we could watch the copy."

• (Seann William Scott) "Hey, it's 10 feet. Bob Hope could jump this in his golf cart. See, watch, I can spit across it."

• (Seann William Scott) "Just copy off someone."
• (Breckin Meyer) "I can't. It's all essay and stuff. You know, if I fail this, my average is shot, I might lose my financial aid, I could not be allowed on campus next semester."
• (Seann William Scott) "Well, you're f***ed, then. You might as well come to my party tonight, hook up with Beth, and at least enjoy your last week at college."
• (Breckin Meyer) "I'm not hooking up with anybody, alright? I've made a commitment to Tiffany. I'm invested in this relationship."
• (Seann William Scott) "Invested? Who are you, Charles Schwab? Would you listen to yourself? I would give my life for one night of consensual sex with her."

• (Seann William Scott) "Your dick will never forgive you."
• (Seann William Scott) "What do you think little man? Don't you ever want to experience something new?"
• (Seann William Scott) "It ain't easy beings Josh's penis. Nothing has happened for two months it feels like I'm in a coma. I wish I was your dick EL, because this is torture. If something doesn't happen soon, I'm just going to pack up my balls and leave."

Anthony Rapp as Jacob

• (Anthony Rapp) ""God is awesome.""

DJ Qualls as Kyle

• (DJ Qualls) "It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off."
• (DJ Qualls) "Because it's your dog."
• (Paulo Costanzo) "Jesus Christ."
• (DJ Qualls) "You know, because it's YOUR dog, get it?"
• (Paulo Costanzo) "Yeah, we've got it."

Amy Smart as Beth

• (Amy Smart) "What do you look for in a girl?"
• (Breckin Meyer) "She should be smart, and funny."
• (Breckin Meyer) "That's good too."
• (Amy Smart) "Do you feel better yet?"
• (Breckin Meyer) "I feel a little bit better, yes."
• (Amy Smart) "What else do you look for?"
• (Breckin Meyer) "She should be nice and attractive and --"
• (Breckin Meyer) "Topless. And topless."

• (Amy Smart) "Are there any guys out there who are JUST NORMAL?"

Fred Ward as Earl Edwards

• (Fred Ward) "Oh, bullcrap. This is ridiculous. Why didn't you tell us where you were?"
• (DJ Qualls) "Because I knew you'd get mad. See, look how mad you are."
• (Fred Ward) "I'M NOT MAD."

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