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Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (film) Quotes

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (film) is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Rosencrantz &amp stopped airing in 1970.

It features Emanuel Azenberg as producer, Stanley Myers in charge of musical score, and Peter Biziou as head of cinematography.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (film) is 117 minutes long. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (film) is distributed by Cinecom Pictures (US).

The cast includes: Tim Roth as Rosencrantz, and Richard Dreyfuss as The Player.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (film) Quotes

Tim Roth as Rosencrantz

  • (Tim Roth) "Look at this. You would think this would fall faster than this."
  • (Tim Roth) "And you would be absolutely right."
  • (Tim Roth) "What a shambles. We're just not getting anywhere. Not even England. And I don't believe in it, anyway."
  • (Guildenstern) "In what?"
  • (Tim Roth) "England."
  • (Guildenstern) "Just a conspiracy of cartographers, you mean?"
  • (Tim Roth) "I mean, I don't believe it. And even if it is true, the King of England won't know what we're talking about. What are we going to say?"
  • (Guildenstern) "We say, "Your Majesty, we have arrived.""
  • (Tim Roth) ""And who are you?""
  • (Guildenstern) "We are Rosencrantz & Guildenstern."
  • (Tim Roth) ""Never heard of you.""
  • (Guildenstern) "Well, we --"
  • (Tim Roth) ""What's your game?""
  • (Guildenstern) "We have our instruction --"
  • (Tim Roth) ""First I've heard of it.""
  • (Guildenstern) "Let me finish."
  • (Guildenstern) "We've come from Denmark."
  • (Tim Roth) ""What do you want?""
  • (Guildenstern) "Nothing. We're delivering Hamlet."
  • (Tim Roth) ""Who's he?""
  • (Guildenstern) "You've heard of him."
  • (Tim Roth) ""Oh, I've heard of him, alright, and I want nothing to do with him. You march in here without so much as a 'By your leave' and expect me to take in every lunatic you try to pass off with a lot of unsubstantiated -- ""
  • (Guildenstern) "We've got a letter --"
  • (Tim Roth) ""I see. I see. Well, this seems to support your story, such as it is. It is an exact command from the King of Denmark, for several different reasons, importing Denmark's health, and England's, too, that on the reading of this letter, without delay, I should have Hamlet's head cut off.""
  • (Tim Roth) "Oh. You mean; you pretend to be him, and I ask you questions."
  • (Guildenstern) "Very good."
  • (Tim Roth) "You had me confused."
  • (Guildenstern) "I could see I had."
  • (Tim Roth) "How should I begin?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Address me."
  • (Tim Roth) "My honoured Lord."
  • (Guildenstern) "My dear Rosencrantz."
  • (Tim Roth) "-- Am I pretending to be you, then?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Certainly not. Well, if you like. Shall we continue?"
  • (Tim Roth) "My honoured Lord."
  • (Guildenstern) "My; dear fellow."
  • (Tim Roth) "How are you?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Afflicted."
  • (Tim Roth) "Really? In what way?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Transformed."
  • (Tim Roth) "Inside or out?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Both."
  • (Tim Roth) "I see. Not much new there."
  • (Guildenstern) "Well, go into detail. Delve."
  • (Tim Roth) "Did you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it?"
  • (Guildenstern) "No."
  • (Tim Roth) "Nor do I, really. It's silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box. One keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead, which should make all the difference, shouldn't it? I mean, you'd never know you were in a box, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box. Not that I'd like to sleep in a box, mind you. Not without any air. You'd wake up dead for a start, and then where would you be? In a box. That's the bit I don't like, frankly. That's why I don't think of it. Because you'd be helpless, wouldn't you? Stuffed in a box like that. I mean, you'd be in there forever, even taking into account the fact that you're dead. It isn't a pleasant thought. Especially if you're dead, really. Ask yourself, if I asked you straight off, "I'm going to stuff you in this box. Now, would you rather be alive or dead?" naturally, you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, "Well, at least I'm not dead. In a minute somebody is going to bang on the lid, and tell me to come out.""
  • (Tim Roth) ""Hey you. What's your name? Come out of there.""
  • (Guildenstern) "I think I'm going to kill you."
  • (Guildenstern) "I think I have it. A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself."
  • (Tim Roth) "Or just as mad."
  • (Guildenstern) "Or just as mad."
  • (Tim Roth) "And he does both."
  • (Guildenstern) "So there you are."
  • (Tim Roth) "Stark raving sane."
  • (Guildenstern) "It's aright. I'll see we're alright."
  • (Tim Roth) "But, we've got nothing to go on. We're out on our own."
  • (Guildenstern) "We're on our way to England. We're taking Hamlet to the English king."
  • (Tim Roth) "What for?"
  • (Guildenstern) "'What for?" Where've you been?"
  • (Tim Roth) "When?"
  • (Guildenstern) "We've got a letter. You remember the letter?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Do I?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Everything is explained in the letter."
  • (Tim Roth) "Is that it, then?"
  • (Guildenstern) "What?"
  • (Tim Roth) "We take Hamlet to the English king. We hand over the letter. What then?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Well, that's it. We're finished."
  • (Tim Roth) "Who is the English king?"
  • (Guildenstern) "That depends on when we get there."
  • (Tim Roth) "It wasn't that bad."
  • (Guildenstern) "Whose serve?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Err --"
  • (Guildenstern) "Hesitation. Love -- one."
  • (Tim Roth) "Whose go?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Why?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Why not?"
  • (Guildenstern) "What for?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Foul. No synonyms. One -- all."
  • (Guildenstern) "What in God's name is going on?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Foul. No rhetoric. Two -- one."
  • (Guildenstern) "What does it all add up to?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Can't you guess?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Were you addressing me?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Is there anyone else?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Who?"
  • (Tim Roth) "How would I know?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Why do you ask?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Are you serious?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Was that rhetoric?"
  • (Tim Roth) "No."
  • (Guildenstern) "Statement. Two all. Game point."
  • (Tim Roth) "Another curious scientific phenomenon is the fact that the fingernails grow after death, as does the beard."
  • (Guildenstern) "What?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Beard."
  • (Guildenstern) "But you're not dead."
  • (Tim Roth) "I didn't say they only started to grow after death. The fingernails also grow before birth; though not the beard."
  • (Guildenstern) "What?"
  • (Tim Roth) "BEARD. What's the matter with you?"
  • (Tim Roth) "The toenails, on the other hand, never grow at all."
  • (Guildenstern) "The toenails on the other FOOT never grow at all."
  • (Tim Roth) "-- no."
  • (Tim Roth) "This place is a madhouse."
  • (Tim Roth) "Do you think Death could possibly be a boat?"
  • (Guildenstern) "No, no, no -- Death is "not." Death isn't. Take my meaning? Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not be on a boat."
  • (Tim Roth) "I've frequently not been on boats."
  • (Guildenstern) "No, no -- What you've been is not on boats."
  • (Guildenstern) "I think we can say we made some headway."
  • (Tim Roth) "You think so?"
  • (Guildenstern) "I think we can say that."
  • (Tim Roth) "I think we can say he made us look ridiculous."
  • (Guildenstern) "We played it close to the chest, of course."
  • (Tim Roth) "Question and answer. Old ways are the best ways. He was scoring off us all down the line."
  • (Guildenstern) "He caught us on the wrong foot once or twice, perhaps, but I thought we gained some ground."
  • (Tim Roth) "He murdered us."
  • (Guildenstern) "He might have had the edge."
  • (Tim Roth) "Twenty-seven to three, and you think he might have had the edge? He murdered us."
  • (Guildenstern) "What about our evasions?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Oh, our evasions were lovely; "Were you sent for?" "My Lord, we were sent for." I didn't know where to put myself."
  • (Guildenstern) "He had six rhetoricals."
  • (Tim Roth) "It was question and answer, all right. Twenty-seven questions he got out in ten minutes, and answered three. I was waiting for you to delve. "When is he going to start delving?" I asked myself."
  • (Tim Roth) "Umm, uh --"
  • (Tim Roth) "Whoa; whoa, whoa."
  • (Tim Roth) "Hmmm. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads."
  • (Tim Roth) "Heads."
  • (Tim Roth) "Bet? Heads I win?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Again? Heads."
  • (Guildenstern) "Where's Hamlet?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Gone."
  • (Guildenstern) "Gone, where?"
  • (Tim Roth) "The pirates took him."
  • (Guildenstern) "But they can't. We're supposed to be -- We've got a letter which says -- The whole thing's pointless without him. We need Hamlet for our release."
  • (Tim Roth) "I'll pretend to be -- You pretend to be him, and -- Right."
  • (Tim Roth) "I suppose we just go on."
  • (Guildenstern) "Go where?"
  • (Tim Roth) "England?"
  • (Guildenstern) "England. I don't believe it."
  • (Tim Roth) "What, just a conspiracy of cartographers, you mean?"
  • (Guildenstern) "I mean I don't believe it. And even if it's true, what do we say?"
  • (Tim Roth) "We say, "We've arrived.""
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "Who are you?"
  • (Tim Roth) "We are Guildenstern & Rosencrantz."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "Which is which?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Well, I'm Guildenstern."
  • (Guildenstern) "And he's Rosencrantz."
  • (Tim Roth) "Exactly."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "What does this have to do with me? You turn up out of the blue with some cock-and-bull story --"
  • (Guildenstern) "We have a letter."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "A letter?"
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "Hm."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "As England is Denmark's faithful tributary. As love between them, like the palm might flourish, et cetera, that on the knowing of these contents, without delay of any kind, should those bearers, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern, put to sudden death."
  • (Tim Roth) "Not that letter. Give him the other one."
  • (Guildenstern) "I haven't got another one."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "They're gone. It's all over."
  • (Guildenstern) "Where we went wrong, was getting on a boat."
  • (Tim Roth) "Shouldn't we be doing something -- constructive?"
  • (Guildenstern) "What did you have in mind? A short, blunt human pyramid?"
  • (Tim Roth) "They had it in for us, didn't they? Right from the beginning. Who'd have thought we were so important?"
  • (Guildenstern) "But why? Was it all for this? Who are we that so much should converge on our little deaths?"
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "You are Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. That's enough."
  • (Guildenstern) "Why can't you ever say anything original? You never take me up on anything. You just repeat everything I say."
  • (Tim Roth) "I can't think of anything original. I'm only good in support."
  • (Guildenstern) "I'm sick of making a running."
  • (Guildenstern) "It's all right, I'll see we're all right."
  • (Tim Roth) "But we've got nothing."
  • (Guildenstern) "We've got a letter."
  • (Tim Roth) "78 in a row. A new record, I imagine."
  • (Guildenstern) "Is that what you imagine? A new record?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Well --"
  • (Guildenstern) "No questions? Not a flicker of doubt?"
  • (Tim Roth) "I could be wrong."
  • (Tim Roth) "So, we've got a letter that explains everything ?"
  • (Guildenstern) "You've got it."
  • (Tim Roth) "I thought you had it?"
  • (Guildenstern) "I do have it."
  • (Tim Roth) "You have it?"
  • (Guildenstern) "You've got it."
  • (Tim Roth) "I don't get it."
  • (Guildenstern) "You haven't got it."
  • (Tim Roth) "I just said that."
  • (Guildenstern) "I've got it."
  • (Tim Roth) "Oh, I've got it."
  • (Guildenstern) "Shut up."
  • (Tim Roth) "Right."
  • (Guildenstern) "I don't believe in it anyway."
  • (Tim Roth) "What?"
  • (Guildenstern) "England."
  • (Tim Roth) "Just a conspiracy of cartographers, then?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Do you want to play questions?"
  • (Guildenstern) "How do you play that?"
  • (Tim Roth) "You have to ask a question."
  • (Guildenstern) "Statement. One; Love."
  • (Tim Roth) "Cheating."
  • (Guildenstern) "How?"
  • (Tim Roth) "I haven't started yet."
  • (Guildenstern) "Statement. Two; Love."
  • (Tim Roth) "Are you counting that?"
  • (Guildenstern) "What?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Are you counting that?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Foul. No repetition. Three; Love and game."
  • (Tim Roth) "I'm not going to play if you're going to be like that."
  • (Tim Roth) "What's the matter with you today?"
  • (Guildenstern) "When?"
  • (Tim Roth) "What?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Are you deaf?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Am I dead?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Yes or no?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Is there a choice?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Is there a God?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Foul. No non sequiturs. Three -- two, one game all."
  • (Guildenstern) "What's your name?"
  • (Tim Roth) "What's yours?"
  • (Guildenstern) "You first."
  • (Tim Roth) "Statement. One -- love."
  • (Guildenstern) "What's your name when you're at home?"
  • (Tim Roth) "What's yours?"
  • (Guildenstern) "When I'm at home?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Is it different at home?"
  • (Guildenstern) "What home?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Haven't you got one?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Why do you ask?"
  • (Tim Roth) "What are you driving at?"
  • (Guildenstern) "What's your name?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Repetition. Two -- love. Match point."
  • (Guildenstern) "Who do you think you are?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Rhetoric. Game and match."
  • (Tim Roth) "Is that southerly?"
  • (Guildenstern) "We came from roughly south."
  • (Tim Roth) "Which way is that?"
  • (Guildenstern) "In the morning, the sun would be easterly. I think we can assume that."
  • (Tim Roth) "That it's morning?"
  • (Guildenstern) "If it is, and the sun is over there for instance, that would be northerly. On the other hand, if it's not morning and the sun is over there, that would still be northerly. To put it another way, if we came from down there, and it's morning, the sun would be up there, but if it's actually over there and it's still morning, we must have come from back there, and if that's southerly, and the sun is really over there, then it's the afternoon. However, if none of these are the case --"
  • (Tim Roth) "Why don't you go and have a look?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Pragmatism. Is that all you have to offer?"
  • (Tim Roth) "I merely suggest that the position of the sun, if it is out, would give you a rough idea of the time. Alternatively, a clock, if it is going, would give you a rough idea of the position of the sun. I forget which you are trying to establish."
  • (Guildenstern) "I'm trying to establish the direction of the wind."
  • (Tim Roth) "There isn't any wind."
  • (Tim Roth) "Draughts, yes."
  • (Tim Roth) "Look at this."
  • (Guildenstern) "Leave things alone."
  • (Tim Roth) "Sorry."
  • (Tim Roth) "That's it then, is it? We've done nothing wrong. We didn't harm anybody, did we?"
  • (Guildenstern) "I can't remember."
  • (Tim Roth) "All right, then. I don't care. I've had enough. To tell you the truth, I'm relieved."
  • (Guildenstern) "There must have been a moment at the beginning, where we could have said no. Somehow we missed it. Well, we'll know better next time."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "Till then."
  • (Guildenstern) "Consider: One, probability is a factor which operates within natural forces. Two, probability is not operating as a factor. Three, we are now held within un-, sub- or super-natural forces. Discuss."
  • (Tim Roth) "What?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, "Well. At least I'm not dead.'"
  • (Guildenstern) "Hamlet's transformation; what do you recollect?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Well, he's changed, isn't he?"

Richard Dreyfuss as The Player

  • (Guildenstern) "It could have been; it didn't have to be obscene. I was prepared. But it's this, is it? No enigma, no dignity, nothing classical, poetic; only this, a comic pornographer and a rabble of prostitutes."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "You should have caught us in better times. We were purists then."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "We're more of the love, blood, and rhetoric school. Well, we can do you blood and love without the rhetoric, and we can do you blood and rhetoric without the love, and we can do you all three concurrent or consecutive. But we can't give you love and rhetoric without the blood. Blood is compulsory. They're all blood, you see."
  • (Guildenstern) "Is that what people want?"
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "It's what we do."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "For a handful of coin I happen to have a private and uncut performance of "The Rape of the Sabine Women," or rather woman, or rather Alfred, and for eight you can participate."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "There's a design at work in all art -- events must play themselves out to an aesthetic, moral and logical conclusion. We aim at the point where everyone who is marked for death -- dies. Generally speaking, things have gone about as far as they can possibly go when things have got about as bad as they can reasonably get."
  • (Guildenstern) "Who decides?"
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "Decides? It is written."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "Generally speaking, things have gone about as far as they can possibly go, when things have gotten about as bad as they can reasonably get."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "The old man thinks he's in love with his daughter."
  • (Tim Roth) "Good God. We're out of our depths here."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "No, no, no. He hasn't got a daughter. The old man thinks he's in love with his daughter."
  • (Tim Roth) "The old man is?"
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "Hamlet -- in love -- with the old man's daughter -- the old man -- thinks."
  • (Tim Roth) "Ah."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "Why?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Ah, why?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Exactly."
  • (Guildenstern) "Exactly what?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Exactly why?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Exactly why what?"
  • (Tim Roth) "What?"
  • (Guildenstern) "Why?"
  • (Tim Roth) "Why what exactly?"
  • (Guildenstern) "WHY IS HE MAD?"
  • (Tim Roth) "I DON'T KNOW."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "The bad end unhappily, the good unluckily -- that is what Tragedy means."
  • (Guildenstern) "We're still finding our feet."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "I should concentrate on not losing your head."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "Are you familiar with this play?"
  • (Guildenstern) "No."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "A slaughterhouse, eight corpses all told."
  • (Guildenstern) "Six."
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "Eight."
  • (Guildenstern) "Who are they?"
  • (Richard Dreyfuss) "They're dead."

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