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Saving Silverman Quotes

Saving Silverman is a television show that debuted in 1970 . Saving Silverman completed its run in 1970.

It features Neal H. Moritz as producer, Michael Simpson (producer) in charge of musical score, and Arthur Albert as head of cinematography.

Saving Silverman is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Saving Silverman is 90 minutes long. Saving Silverman is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Steve Zahn as Wayne, Jack Black as J.D., Amanda Peet as Judith, Jack Black as Nun, R. Lee Ermey as Coach Norton, Jason Biggs as Darren, and Amanda Detmer as Sandy.

Saving Silverman Quotes

R. Lee Ermey as Coach Norton

  • (R. Lee Ermey) "When are you going to get hitched there, son?"
  • (Jack Black) "Actually I'm not, I'm GAY."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "Oh -- me too."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "So when are you getting hitched?"
  • (Jack Black) "Actually, I'm not. I'm gay."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "Me too."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "What the hell we got here? Some kind of public access show or something?"
  • (Steve Zahn) "Yeah."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "Wait a minute, that's the kidnap victim, ain't it? You didn't kill her."
  • (Steve Zahn) "No, coach."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "I'm real disappointing in you boys. Now I want you to go out there and off that cooze."
  • (Steve Zahn) "We can't, coach."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "FOR PETE'S SAKE. She's getting out. Go chop her head off or something."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "There's no fight left in you. You're nutless. You've been pussified. Don't worry about a thing boys I'll take care of that broad."
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "Remember, boys. STAY AWAY from women. All they want from you is your man-juice. If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, then use this."

Jack Black as J.D.

  • (Jack Black) "Isn't one-and-only supposed to be, like, one? And only?"
  • (Jack Black) "f*** you, replacement-friends."
  • (Steve Zahn) "Eat this, Fake Wayne."
  • (Jack Black) "Judy, awesome to meet you."
  • (Amanda Peet) "Jud- ith."
  • (Jack Black) "Judith. And a beer bong for the lady?"
  • (Jack Black) "COME ON AH YEEEEEEEH-HA."
  • (Jack Black) "Do you want a drink?"
  • (Amanda Peet) "Scotch on the rocks."
  • (Jack Black) "No problem. You want ice with that?"
  • (Jack Black) "Hey, I brought you some more videos. You've got your choice: porno's or monster trucks. Oh, and I got one that's both."
  • (Jack Black) "Neil. I wanna party with you. I WANNA PARTY WITH YOU."
  • (Jack Black) "Dude, what does a mime look like when he's having sex anyway? Probably like,"
  • (Jack Black) "'I'm a mime. I'm a mime.' Ha ha ha."
  • (Steve Zahn) "Dude, mimes don't talk."
  • (Jack Black) "They do when they're off duty."
  • (Jack Black) "She torched Neil? You're right. She is a monster."
  • (Jack Black) "What happened?"
  • (Amanda Peet) "Wah."
  • (Jack Black) "Judith escaped."
  • (Steve Zahn) "-- Dehrrrrrrrr."

Jason Biggs as Darren

  • (Jason Biggs) "You're a lot stronger then you were in high school."
  • (Amanda Detmer) "Yeah, well, the convent's got a great gym."
  • (Jason Biggs) "Hi, I'm Darren."
  • (Jason Biggs) "Darren. My friend said you wanted to meet me."
  • (Amanda Peet) "He lied."
  • (Jason Biggs) "Haha, that's a good one."
  • (Amanda Peet) "No, seriously. I don't want to meet you."

Steve Zahn as Wayne

  • (Steve Zahn) "Dude."
  • (Jack Black) "Dude."
  • (Steve Zahn) "Why didn't you answer the door?"
  • (Jack Black) "I'm eatin'."
  • (Steve Zahn) "So?"
  • (Jack Black) "I don't answer the door when I'm eatin'."
  • (Steve Zahn) "Since when?"
  • (Jack Black) "Since always."
  • (Steve Zahn) "I never knew that."
  • (Jack Black) "Well you didn't know a lot of things. You didn't know I was gay."
  • (Steve Zahn) "Is there anything else you wanna tell me?"
  • (Jack Black) "I got three balls."
  • (Steve Zahn) "Shut up. God."
  • (Jack Black) "Dude. Dude. Dude."
  • (Steve Zahn) "You promised Sandy you'd be there. You gave her your word."
  • (Jason Biggs) "I didn't even talk to her."
  • (Steve Zahn) "O.K. I gave her your word."
  • (Jason Biggs) "Come on Wayne. When are you gonna forget about the idea that i'll go out with Sandy?"
  • (Steve Zahn) "When you go out with Sandy."
  • (Steve Zahn) "I'll throw J.D. in. He doesn't look like much but he's hung like a horse"
  • (Jack Black) "It's true."
  • (Steve Zahn) "So, Coach, how's your parole coming?"
  • (R. Lee Ermey) "Not good. The victim's whiny family keeps complaining"
  • (Jack Black) "God. What is their PROBLEM?"
  • (Steve Zahn) "Dude, you don't want a chick who'd f*** a mime."
  • (Steve Zahn) "Carpe poon, man."
  • (Steve Zahn) "Okay, our enemy is wicked, so --"
  • (Jack Black) "Dude, she's Freddy Krueger."
  • (Steve Zahn) "Damien."
  • (Jack Black) "Dude, she's Vader."
  • (Steve Zahn) "No. She is the Emperor."
  • (Jack Black) "Yeah, but with really great tits."
  • (Steve Zahn) "Okay, now Sandy, that girl? She's a nice girl."
  • (Jack Black) "Ah, yeah."
  • (Steve Zahn) "She's a sweetheart."
  • (Jack Black) "Dude, a saint."
  • (Steve Zahn) "A goddess."
  • (Jack Black) "A princess."
  • (Steve Zahn) "'Know what? She's kinda like Mother Teresa."
  • (Jack Black) "Yeah, but with way better tits."
  • (Steve Zahn) "She didn't like the way his ass looked, so she made him get butt cheek implants."
  • (Jack Black) "I thought his ass looked tighter."
  • (Steve Zahn) "You're not gay -- you're just confused."
  • (Jack Black) "Yes, I am gay. Oh HEY. Do you wanna be gay with me?"
  • (Steve Zahn) "NO."

Amanda Peet as Judith

  • (Amanda Peet) "He's my puppet now. And I'm the puppet master."
  • (Amanda Peet) "Ok, then. No more sex."
  • (Jason Biggs) "What?"
  • (Amanda Peet) "You're not allowed to go down on me for a month."
  • (Amanda Peet) "Don't make me take away your masturbation privileges."
  • (Amanda Peet) "It took balls. Big balls."
  • (Amanda Peet) "I don't want your s***ty old house or your dead grandmother."
  • (Steve Zahn) "I'll throw J.D. in. He doesn't look like much but girls call him the human power tool."
  • (Jack Black) "It's true."
  • (Amanda Peet) "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
  • (Jack Black) "Yes -- No."
  • (Amanda Peet) "Have you ever fantasized about having sex with a man?"
  • (Jack Black) "Which man?"
  • (Amanda Peet) "Any man."
  • (Jack Black) "You mean like a tall man?"
  • (Amanda Peet) "Sure, whatever."
  • (Jack Black) "'Cause I don't like tall people, they bother me."
  • (Amanda Peet) "What about a short man?"
  • (Jack Black) "How short? Some times people can be too short, that's weird like midgets."
  • (Amanda Peet) "Have you ever fantasized about having sex with any man, any man at all?"
  • (Jack Black) "Does that include celebrities?"

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