(Article is below...)

Sex, Lies, and Videotape Quotes

Sex, Lies, and Videotape is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Sex, Lies, and Videotape completed its run in 1970.

It features John Hardy as producer, Cliff Martinez in charge of musical score, and Walt Lloyd as head of cinematography.

Sex, Lies, and Videotape is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Sex, Lies, and Videotape is 100 minutes long. Sex, Lies, and Videotape is distributed by Miramax Films.

The cast includes: James Spader as Graham, Andie MacDowell as Ann, Laura San Giacomo as Cynthia, Peter Gallagher as John Mullany, and Steven Brill as Barfly.

Sex, Lies, and Videotape Quotes

Andie MacDowell as Ann

  • (Andie MacDowell) "I think it's gonna rain."
  • (James Spader) "It is raining."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Yeah."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I want to know why you are the way you are."
  • (James Spader) "And I'm telling you it's not any one thing that I can point to and say "That's why." It doesn't work that way with people who have problems, Ann, it's not that neat, it's not hat tidy. It's not a series of little boxes that you can line up and count. Things just don't happen that way."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Anyway, being happy isn't all that great. I mean, the last time I was really happy -- I got so fat. I must have put on 25 pounds. I thought John was gonna have a stroke."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "That's beautiful -- That's really beautiful."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I brought you this. I knew it was your birthday."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "Thanks."
  • (Steven Brill) "It's a nice plant. Looks like a tablecloth."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Did he touch you?"
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "No."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Did you touch him?"
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "No."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Did anybody touch anybody?"
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "Well -- yes."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Don't tell me -- don't tell me -- don't tell me. You didn't."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "I did."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "You didn't."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "I did."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "You didn't."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "I did."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Garbage. All I've been thinking about all week is garbage. I mean, I just can't stop thinking about it."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "You never used to say the word "f***ing.""
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Being happy isn't all that great. I mean -- the last time I was -- really happy -- I got really fat."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "So let me see, you said, um, you said that I should never take advice from someone that I haven't had sex with, right -- right?"
  • (James Spader) "Basically."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Right. And, uh, we haven't had sex --"
  • (Andie MacDowell) "right?"
  • (James Spader) "So --"
  • (Andie MacDowell) "So, I, I, I guess from your own advice, I shouldn't take your advice."
  • (James Spader) "I wouldn't."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I always lose my keys. I hate that."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "You can't possibly trust him. He's perverted."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I want out of this marriage."
  • (Peter Gallagher) "What?"
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I. Want. Out. Of. This. Marriage."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I've just got all this time on my hands, and I just sit around and start inventing these, like, intricate scenarios --"
  • (Andie MacDowell) "And then I don't want to have wasted all my time, so I want to believe in them."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "What did you think?"
  • (James Spader) "I thought about what you would look like having an orgasm."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I'd like to know what I look like havin' an orgasm."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I think that um -- I think that sex is overrated. I think that people place far too much importance on it, and I think that stuff about women wantin' it just as bad as men is crap. I mean I think that women want it, I just don't think that they want it for the same reason that men think they do."

James Spader as Graham

  • (James Spader) "One woman used up only 3 minutes, and another used three 2-hour tapes."
  • (James Spader) "I remember reading somewhere that men learn to love the person that they're attracted to, and that women become more and more attracted to the person that they love."
  • (James Spader) "Do you have orgasms?"
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I don't think so. I mean, I guess, since I'm not sure, that I've never had one."
  • (James Spader) "Have you ever been on television?"
  • (James Spader) "So, I don't -- I don't understand, uh, what made you want to come here. I can't imagine Ann painted a very flattering portrait of me."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "Yeah, well, see, um, I don't really listen to Ann when it comes to men. I mean, look at John, for Christ's sake."

Steven Brill as Barfly

  • (Steven Brill) "This is too much. I'm wearing red, you're wearing red. That's quite a coincidence --"
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Look, I'm married."
  • (Steven Brill) "Really? Are you very married?"
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Married enough"
  • (Steven Brill) "Oh. Oh. I see. Well, that shouldn't stop us --"
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I'm just here to see my sister. OK?"
  • (Steven Brill) "Oh, really? Who's your sister? -- Is she married?"
  • (Steven Brill) "It's a nice dress."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Thanks. I thought so, too."
  • (Steven Brill) "Looks like a tablecloth."
  • (Steven Brill) "OK, now, you're wearing blue, I'm wearing blue. Is this some sort of weird coincidence?"
  • (Andie MacDowell) "I don't think so."
  • (Steven Brill) "I think it's something more."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Do you live here?"
  • (Steven Brill) "No. I'm just passing through."

Peter Gallagher as John Mullany

  • (Peter Gallagher) "You're lying to Ann, too."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "Yeah, right, but I didn't take a vow in front of God and everyone to be faithful to Ann."
  • (Peter Gallagher) "Ann, answer me. Answer me, god dammit. Did he?"
  • (Andie MacDowell) "Yes."
  • (Peter Gallagher) "That backstabbing son of a bitch. Oh, Mr. Honesty, huh."
  • (Peter Gallagher) "I'm sorry?"
  • (James Spader) "No, it's just, I, you know, I just think; right now I have one key and everything I own is in the car, and I just -- I like that, you know? I mean, I just, if I get an apartment, that two keys, if I -- get a job, you know, I might have to open or close, that's more keys, you know, buy some stuff, I'm afraid it's gonna get ripped off, or something, and I get more keys, and I just, I, you know, I just like having the one key, it's clean."
  • (Andie MacDowell) "You're not gonna worry in losing them, I always lose my keys, I hate that."
  • (Peter Gallagher) "Things are getting too complicated."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "No -- they're gettin' real simple."

Laura San Giacomo as Cynthia

  • (Laura San Giacomo) "Get your balls in the air and get your butt over here."
  • (Peter Gallagher) "Oh, God. You're on fire."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "The organ itself seemed like a, a separate thing, um, a separate entity to me. I mean, when he finally pulled it out, and I could look at it and touch it, I completely forgot that there was a guy attached to it. I remember literally being startled when the guy spoke to me."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "You know, I'd like to do it at your house sometime. I must admit, the idea of doing it in my sister's bed gives me a perverse thrill."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "Ann, I don't understand why this freaks you out so much. You didn't do it, I did. And if it doesn't bother me, why should it bother you?"
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "If Ann got freaked out by these, there must be something sexual: are these tapes of you having sex with these girls?"
  • (James Spader) "No, not exactly."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "Well, either you are or your aren't; which is it?"
  • (James Spader) "Why don't you let me tape you?"
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "Doing what?"
  • (James Spader) "Talking."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "About what?"
  • (James Spader) "About sex -- your sexual history, sexual preferences."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "What makes you think I'd discuss that with you?"
  • (James Spader) "Nothing."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "Hmm. And you just want to ask me questions?"
  • (James Spader) "I just want to ask you questions."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "That's all."
  • (James Spader) "That's all."
  • (Laura San Giacomo) "Is this how you get off or something? Taping women talking about their sexual experiences?"
  • (James Spader) "Yes."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.

Additional Film and TV Quotes

Tales of the Gold Monkey Quotes | Play Misty for Me Quotes | Welcome Back, Kotter Quotes | Death, Deceit and Destiny Aboard the Orient Express Quotes | Fifteen (TV series) Quotes | The Devil in Miss Jones Quotes | Good Times Quotes | Behind the Green Door Quotes | The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne Quotes | Gremlins Quotes | Mother, Mother, Mother Pin a Rose on Me Quotes | Last of the Dogmen Quotes | Blockbusters (UK game show) Quotes | QI Quotes | Maverick (film) Quotes | Maverick (TV series) Quotes | The Civil War (miniseries) Quotes | The Dish Quotes | Arrowsmith (film) Quotes | Xiaolin Showdown Quotes | Scanners Quotes | Gilmore Girls Quotes | Cube (film) Quotes | Kath and Kim Quotes | Halifax f.p. Quotes |