Shanghai Knights Quotes

Shanghai Knights is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Shanghai Knights stopped airing in 1970.

It features Roger Birnbaum as producer, Randy Edelman in charge of musical score, and Adrian Biddle as head of cinematography.

Shanghai Knights is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Shanghai Knights is 114 minutes long. Shanghai Knights is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Owen Wilson as Roy, Tom Fisher as Doyle, Kim Chan as Chon Wang, Fann Wong as Chon Lin, Aidan Gillen as Lord Rathbone, Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Charlie Chaplin, Alison King as Prostitute, and Donnie Yen as Wu Chow.

Shanghai Knights Quotes

Kim Chan as Chon Wang

• (Kim Chan) "Who loves you, baby?"

• (Kim Chan) "If you break her heart, I break your legs."
• (Owen Wilson) "That's fair."

• (Kim Chan) "Wu Chow."
• (Owen Wilson) "Wu who?"

• (Kim Chan) "I just saved you."
• (Fann Wong) "You were late."

• (Kim Chan) "What do you see?"
• (Owen Wilson) "He just pulled a fancy dragon key out of his desk."
• (Kim Chan) "That was my father's. I must avenge his honor."
• (Owen Wilson) "Slow down, Tiger. Slow down. Quit going all Chinese on me."

• (Kim Chan) "It's a puzzle box. I don't know how to open it."
• (Owen Wilson) "What do you mean, you don't know how to open it? You just get a hammer and smash it open so you can see what it says."
• (Kim Chan) "No. I must have patience. By the time I'm able to open it, I will be ready to read the message."
• (Owen Wilson) "Oh, come on, Confucius, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard."

• (Kim Chan) "What else can you tell?"
• (Tom Fisher) "The owner of this watch is a bad gambler and a lousy shot. Although he's cheated death several times, he spends most of his life wandering in a rather pathetic and futile search for purpose and respect -- oh, yes. He has a penchant for loose women."

• (Kim Chan) "We are wasting time."
• (Owen Wilson) "What do you think I've been doing? Sittin' here and drinking expensive hooch?"
• (Owen Wilson) "Boy, refill."

• (Kim Chan) "Roy come on."

• (Kim Chan) "Slow down, slow down."
• (Owen Wilson) "I'm a bat out of hell. Besides, I don't know where the brake is."

• (Kim Chan) "You know what I call him? Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Boloney."

• (Kim Chan) "Roy. There you are. Need anything, buddy?"
• (Owen Wilson) "A whole lot of "leave me alone.""

• (Kim Chan) "The English are not very friendly."
• (Owen Wilson) "They're just sore losers."
• (Kim Chan) "What did they lose?"
• (Owen Wilson) "A little thing called the American Revolution, Chon."
• (Kim Chan) "Never heard of it."
• (Owen Wilson) "I'll give you the highlights. They came over with about a million men. We had a bunch of farmers with pitchforks and beat 'em like a drum."

• (Kim Chan) "I look like a fool."
• (Owen Wilson) "What? You're a Maharajah. That's Indian royalty."
• (Kim Chan) "But I'm Chinese."
• (Owen Wilson) "It's the same thing."

• (Kim Chan) "Roy. Roy. My ass is on fire."

• (Kim Chan) "For father."
• (Fann Wong) "For father."
• (Owen Wilson) "For Old Man Wang."

Aidan Gillen as Lord Rathbone

• (Aidan Gillen) "Must you keep doing that?"
• (Donnie Yen) "I was told that I should never be seen or heard."

• (Aidan Gillen) "One more."

• (Aidan Gillen) "Perhaps you could explain to me how Looney Lin managed to escape from the confines of Scotland Yard under the watch of the most respected police force in the world."
• (Tom Fisher) "Yes, of course, it's absolutely fascinating. She picked the lock using a deck of rather risqué playing cards. Then scaled the walls with a mop, a fork, and various pilfered undergarments. I've got to hand it to the Chinese, they're awfully ingenious, Lord, aren't they?"
• (Aidan Gillen) "Does your incompetence know no bounds?"

Owen Wilson as Roy

• (Owen Wilson) "Just go ahead and drown me. I don't care anymore."

• (Owen Wilson) "Ok, Chon, ya little Chinese otter. Let's play."

• (Owen Wilson) "Chon, I have a confession to make."
• (Kim Chan) "You are in love with my sister?"
• (Owen Wilson) "Well, that, but I didn't lose all the money on the zeppelins."
• (Kim Chan) "No?"
• (Owen Wilson) "Nah. I blew most of it on the Roy O'Bannon novels. I wrote them."
• (Kim Chan) "No, Sage McCallister wrote them."
• (Owen Wilson) "That's what I'm saying, buddy. I'm Sage McCallister."
• (Kim Chan) "You wrote those lies?"
• (Owen Wilson) "I've always had low self-esteem."
• (Kim Chan) "How many books did you print?"
• (Owen Wilson) "I self-published probably a million copies. We were actually second to the Bible that year."

• (Owen Wilson) "Oh, this country blows."

• (Owen Wilson) "Guys, do whatever you want to the kid, but that's my watch you're holding."
• (Unnamed) "Well, there's a load of us, and only two of you, so piss off."
• (Owen Wilson) "Easy fellas, you lost one war this way, don't make the same mistake twice."

• (Owen Wilson) "So what are we gonna do? Come on, think. I'm not going to an English prison. With my feathery blond hair and Chon's athletic build, they'll try to make us the bell of the ball."

• (Owen Wilson) "Lord, help me. Just let me know you're there. Love me, hate me, but let me know you're up there."
• (Owen Wilson) "Hey, I can see our hotel from here. Wow."

• (Owen Wilson) "Hey, I'm walking here. You're driving on the wrong side of the road. Bunch of amateurs, these people don't get it."

• (Owen Wilson) "And, Jackie? I'm not Roy O'Bannon."

• (Owen Wilson) "There's this new thing they're starting out in California: moving pictures. There's no sound, so we won't have to worry about the language problem, and I think the kung fu stuff could be huge. People are dying for a good action flick."
• (Kim Chan) "Chon Wang --"
• (Kim Chan) "-- movie star? It could work."

• (Unnamed) "Spotted dick, sir?"
• (Owen Wilson) "What?"
• (Unnamed) "Spotted dick?"
• (Owen Wilson) "Can you believe this guy? I'm trying to get something to eat and he's asking me if I got the clap."

• (Owen Wilson) "Hey, Chon, you're lucky I didn't invest in that ridiculous "auto-mobile" idea. Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money."

• (Owen Wilson) "I am gonna break your neck."

• (Owen Wilson) "You got any ideas?"
• (Kim Chan) "We jump."
• (Owen Wilson) "Jump?"
• (Owen Wilson) "You mean fall?"

• (Owen Wilson) "Well, what's in it for you?"
• (Aidan Gillen) "Your looking at the future king of England."
• (Owen Wilson) "You're, like, 20th line to the throne."
• (Aidan Gillen) "10th. But my friend here is about to change all that."

• (Owen Wilson) "Roy, you're about to die. You're on the minute hand of a clock. My life is flashing before my eyes. Wait a minute. I don't remember her."

• (Owen Wilson) "Artie, Lin is not a killer. She's just a really, really, really hot, confused, Chinese girl."

• (Owen Wilson) "Roy O'Bannon will not go quietly. You hear that, England? Throw whatever you want at me. Your terrible weather. Your perverted killers. Your Spotted Dick."

• (Owen Wilson) "The queen, look, the queen. She's mooning us."

• (Owen Wilson) "Hold it right there, Rathboner."

• (Owen Wilson) "I thought the food here was supposed to suck."

• (Owen Wilson) "Damnit, Chon. Remember your puzzle box. Patience, patience."

• (Owen Wilson) "Where have you been?"
• (Kim Chan) "I was busy."
• (Owen Wilson) "Unbelievable."
• (Kim Chan) "Patience, Roy."
• (Owen Wilson) "Tell that to the eel swimming up my ass."

• (Owen Wilson) "And just to set the record straight -- Roy O'Bannon is not attracted to loose women; loose women are attracted to me."

• (Owen Wilson) "Can I tell you something?"
• (Kim Chan) "What?"
• (Owen Wilson) "This is a hell of a damn adventure we're on and I'm having an absolute ball with you."

• (Owen Wilson) "I see a lot of myself in that kid. It's kinda freakin' me out."

• (Owen Wilson) "You just smashed my puzzle box. I'll never figure out my message."

• (Owen Wilson) "Wait, there's something different about this room."

• (Owen Wilson) "I'm guessing by your hasty retreat, that you're still 20th in line for the throne."
• (Aidan Gillen) "10th."

• (Owen Wilson) "She's gonna fight my battles for me."

• (Owen Wilson) "You have a GREAT body. There. I said it. It's out in the open."

• (Owen Wilson) "Ooooh -- You think you're so cool with your karate -- and your child-like reflexes."

• (Owen Wilson) "Why did you let us out?"
• (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) "Why did you give up the seal?"
• (Owen Wilson) "Because I'm a fool."
• (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) "I guess I'm a fool, too."

• (Owen Wilson) "It's just a rock with some gibberish on it."
• (Kim Chan) "It's Chinese."

• (Owen Wilson) "Think about your sister in London."
• (Kim Chan) "What?"

• (Owen Wilson) "I've just been violated by a barnyard animal, John."

• (Owen Wilson) "Put her down. Put her down."
• (Aidan Gillen) "Or what, Mr. O'Bannon?"
• (Aidan Gillen) "Are you gonna kick my ass?"
• (Aidan Gillen) "I've read about all your ridiculous exploits. I mean, just, how does it feel to kill a mummy with your bare hands? Only a nation of uneducated rednecks would be amused by such cowboy drivel."
• (Owen Wilson) "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. What's with the personal attacks? You don't see me making any comments about your pasty complexion or your snotty accent, or even your filthy, smutty sex books. Yeah, I saw your book. It disgusted me --"
• (Owen Wilson) "AH. Why is it always the head with you people?"

• (Owen Wilson) "So what did your dad do? Was he an imperial guard?"
• (Kim Chan) "No, much more important. He was the Keeper of the Imperial Seal."
• (Owen Wilson) "That's what I love about China. Everybody's job description sounds so damn cool."

• (Owen Wilson) "Ever heard of parents? We have parents who love us. You don't, 'cause you're an orphan"

• (Owen Wilson) "Hey, Rathbone. I was just thinking of a title for my new book. "Roy O'Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy." Or how about "Roy O'Bannon versus the Man who would be Queen?""

• (Owen Wilson) "That's a terrible name for a detective. Sherlock Holmes?"

• (Owen Wilson) "I'm a thirty year old waiter/gigolo. Where's the future in that?"

• (Owen Wilson) "I call that my kung pow chicken."

• (Owen Wilson) "You decadent Philistine."

• (Owen Wilson) "I'm gettin' ready to launch a little thing called operation sweep her off her feet."

• (Owen Wilson) "Ah. Chon. Demons."

Tom Fisher as Doyle

• (Tom Fisher) "No matter how far you are from the throne, you'll always be number one in our hearts."

• (Tom Fisher) "You look ridiculous."
• (Owen Wilson) "I think we look good."

• (Tom Fisher) "It's hopeless. We'll never get past the guards."
• (Owen Wilson) "Well, not with that attitude, we won't."

• (Tom Fisher) "I think you gentlemen should accompany me back to the Yard."
• (Owen Wilson) "This isn't a yard. It's a JAIL."

Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Charlie Chaplin

• (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) "Did you just take the last Chocolate?"
• (Owen Wilson) "Of course I did. You gotta look out for number one, kid."

• (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) ""Lord Nelson Rathbone requests the pleasure of your company at a gala affair celebrating her Majesty's 50th year on the throne.""
• (Kim Chan) "Sounds good."
• (Owen Wilson) "Yeah, it doesn't address the issue of security. They're not just gonna let me and Chon waltz into the castle."
• (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) "All you need is a proper disguise."
• (Owen Wilson) "I do like a good disguise --"

• (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) "I'm just lookin' out for number one."

Fann Wong as Chon Lin

• (Fann Wong) "Once, I sent him over the Great Wall. He was lost for three days."

• (Fann Wong) "Be careful."
• (Owen Wilson) "Tell Rathbone to be careful."

Alison King as Prostitute

• (Alison King) "I'll give you a discount."
• (Owen Wilson) "That's the most romantic thing a woman has ever said to me."

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