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Shanghai Noon Quotes

Shanghai Noon is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Shanghai Noon ended in 1970.

It features Roger Birnbaum as producer, Randy Edelman in charge of musical score, and Daniel Mindel as head of cinematography.

Shanghai Noon is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Shanghai Noon is 110 minutes long. Shanghai Noon is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Owen Wilson as Roy O'Bannon, Jackie Chan as Chon Wang, Xander Berkeley as Marshal Nathan Van Cleef, Walton Goggins as Wallace, Yu Rongguang as Imperial Guard, Lucy Liu as Princess Pei Pei, Roger Yuan as Lo Fong, and Brandon Merrill as Falling Leaves.

Shanghai Noon Quotes

Owen Wilson as Roy O'Bannon

  • (Owen Wilson) "Now I'm gonna have to get rid of my outlaw name, it just won't work anymore. My real name's Wyatt Earp."
  • (Owen Wilson) "I am like a wild horse. You can't tame me. You put the oats in the pen, though, and I'll come in for a nibble every day. But the minute you shut that gate, I'll jump the fence and you'll never see me again."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Did I hit you?"
  • (Xander Berkeley) "No, but you're getting really close."
  • (Owen Wilson) "You've almost killed me like seventeen times already."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Eighteen, nineteen, twenty. You're on fire today."
  • (Xander Berkeley) "How do you survive out here?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "What's that supposed to mean?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "I feel like there's this gap between us. It's like I'm a cowboy, you're an Indian. You say wampum, I say money. It is so important, I just think that --"
  • (Brandon Merrill) "Shut up, Roy. You talk too much."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Come on out, Little Roy. Work your magic."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Where did you get this guy?"
  • (Blue) "Texas."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Texas?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Are you insane?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Yes, John, I've heard all about the Emperor. Must be one hell of a man."
  • (Jackie Chan) "He's only twelve."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Are you kidding me? You're sitting here, waiting to die for someone whose balls haven't even dropped?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "You gotta be able to laugh at stuff like that. Like me in the desert. I don't hold any grudges; I laugh about it. I'm not angry at you. You just left me there with chopsticks to die. Roy, all by his lonesome, just me and the buzzards, pickin' at my head -- You're a very silent man, aren't you?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "This is serious. You don't come back from this."
  • (Xander Berkeley) "That's the general idea."
  • (Owen Wilson) "There, sort of a rakish angle."
  • (Jackie Chan) "How do I look?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "I think you look great. I think you look like a real cowboy. Very dapper; red bandana."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Roy O'Bannon."
  • (Jackie Chan) "My name is Chon Wang."
  • (Owen Wilson) "John Wayne?"
  • (Jackie Chan) "Chon Wang."
  • (Owen Wilson) "That's a terrible cowboy name."
  • (Jackie Chan) "Why?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "No, come on. That's not gonna work. That's horrible; that's so bad. And so's the ponytail."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Maybe we should let bygones be bygones. You got off some good shots, I got off some good ones. Let's call it a tie."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Reach for the sky ladies and gentle --"
  • (Walton Goggins) "Touch that gun and I'll blow your god**** head off."
  • (Owen Wilson) "What are you doing? No, no, I sorta like to be the only guy that talks, alright?"
  • (Walton Goggins) "Okay, sorry."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Why's the new guy talking? Where did you get this guy? I'm the only one who talks."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Holy crap, the vultures are eating my head."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Just relax."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Is that relaxed? You look sort of rigid there."
  • (Owen Wilson) "The thing about your husband, and this is nothing against him, I mean I really like him, but --"
  • (Owen Wilson) "he comes from a very male dominated society."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Let me put it this way. My horse is definitely not my best friend."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Okay, I like your energy but I'm not with you --"
  • (Jackie Chan) "When the shirt gets wet, it doesn't break."
  • (Owen Wilson) "-- I don't know what that means."
  • (Owen Wilson) "The Shanghai Kid. This is terrible."
  • (Jackie Chan) "I know. I'm not from Shanghai."
  • (Owen Wilson) "A 2000-year-old civilization and that's the best you can come up with? Shame on you. Shame on you."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Ooooh -- who's the pretty lady?"
  • (Jackie Chan) "That's my wife."
  • (Owen Wilson) "How long you been in this country?"
  • (Jackie Chan) "Four days."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Nice work."
  • (Owen Wilson) "I'm so lost, Chon. Ninety percent of the time I don't even know what I'm doing out here in the West."
  • (Jackie Chan) "No, you're a good outlaw."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Stop, please. I'm a screw-up."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Here give me the dynamite."
  • (Owen Wilson) "No. No. You stay here. You don't get to do it."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Reach for the sky, Baldy."
  • (Owen Wilson) "C'mon Roy, you can do it. Ah, no you can't, he's gonna kill ya."
  • (Owen Wilson) "These guns are really weird."
  • (Owen Wilson) "It's a miracle. I am invincible. Roy. Invincible."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Is that her? She's pretty. Grab her."
  • (Owen Wilson) "I am invincible --"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Come on. We're men, we're not pinatas."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Alright, pay attention because I don't want any mistakes."
  • (Owen Wilson) "I've calculated the speed of the train and the speed of our horses. We meet at this vector; the only variable is the wind. Technically, if you travel --"
  • (Blue) "Is this the train?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Alright, we're just gonna wing it."
  • (Owen Wilson) "You blew it. Whoo, you blew it, man. You did not want to cut his hair off, trust me."
  • (Owen Wilson) "You blew it, John. Never interrupt a man in the middle of a duel. I had 'im. That's what gets me: I had 'im. I had 'im."

Walton Goggins as Wallace

  • (Walton Goggins) "Reach for the sky, O'Bannon, ha ha."
  • (Owen Wilson) "That's my line. He stole my gang, he's stealing my lines. It's unbelievable."
  • (Walton Goggins) "Roy, he just blew the s*** out of our fruits."
  • (Walton Goggins) "I was just winging it."
  • (Owen Wilson) "What? No. That's not how we wing it. You've lost your 'winging it' privileges."

Lucy Liu as Princess Pei Pei

  • (Lucy Liu) "Father, is this my husband-to-be? He's a toad. If the Emperor is so fond of him, why doesn't he marry him?"
  • (Lucy Liu) "Whatever you think I'm going to do for you, you're wrong."

Xander Berkeley as Marshal Nathan Van Cleef

  • (Xander Berkeley) "How about that? It's a Mexican standoff. Only we ain't got no Mexicans."
  • (Xander Berkeley) "How the hell did that happen?"
  • (Xander Berkeley) "Mighty impressive hardware you packin' there --"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Why don't you get your eyes of my package, you twisted son of a bitch."
  • (Xander Berkeley) "Why don't you turn and face me like a man?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Why don't you do it your way and I'll do it my way?"

Jackie Chan as Chon Wang

  • (Jackie Chan) "Dig."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Hey."
  • (Jackie Chan) "Don't talk. Just dig."
  • (Jackie Chan) "What happened?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Oh nothing I just killed him, how'd you do?"
  • (Jackie Chan) "What happened my horse? Is he dead?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "No, but we are, Chon."
  • (Jackie Chan) "We stick together. We are partners."
  • (Owen Wilson) "That's beautiful."
  • (Jackie Chan) "I got an idea: why don't I pretend I'm sick, and then you can attack the guard when they come in?"
  • (Owen Wilson) "Oh, you mean the sick prisoner routine? Does that still work in China? 'Cause here it's sorta been done to death."
  • (Jackie Chan) "He took the gold."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Is that all you care about, the gold? Shame on you."
  • (Jackie Chan) "Fight with honor. You will win."
  • (Jackie Chan) "You gave me bad directions."
  • (Owen Wilson) "No, I gave you wrong directions."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Want your toothpicks back?"
  • (Jackie Chan) "Hi, horsey."
  • (Jackie Chan) "This is the West, not the East. The sun may rise where we come from -- but here is where it sets."
  • (Jackie Chan) "Let me out. Give me the book back. I have to go to Carson City to rescue the Princess. You've got the wrong person, I don't belong here."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Keep going with the Chinese, I think that's working. I think they're just about to let you out."
  • (Jackie Chan) "See. I told you so."
  • (Owen Wilson) "No, you said "wet shirt don't break," not "piss shirt bend bar"."
  • (Jackie Chan) "You killed my uncle."
  • (Owen Wilson) "Bull. That was Wallace. All the way."
  • (Jackie Chan) "He was one of your bandits."
  • (Owen Wilson) "He wasn't part of my gang. He was a new guy. And he's crazy as a road lizard."
  • (Jackie Chan) "Never touch my queue."

Roger Yuan as Lo Fong

  • (Roger Yuan) "One thing about the Chinese, Mr. Andrews. We do not renegotiate."

Yu Rongguang as Imperial Guard

  • (Jedediah) "Shalom."
  • (Yu Rongguang) "Shalom."

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