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Showgirls Quotes

Showgirls is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Showgirls ended in 1970.

It features Alan Marshall; Charles Evans as producer, David A. Stewart in charge of musical score, and Jost Vacano as head of cinematography.

Showgirls is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Showgirls is 131 minutes long. Showgirls is distributed by MGM/UA Distribution Co..

The cast includes: Glenn Plummer as James Smith, Gina Gershon as Cristal Connors, Robert Davi as Al Torres, Lin Tucci as Henrietta Bazoom, Kyle MacLachlan as Zack Carey, Elizabeth Berkley as Nomi Malone, Michelle Johnston as Gay Carpenter, Gina Ravera as Molly Abrams, Alan Rachins as Tony Moss, Greg Travis as Phil Newkirk, Al Ruscio as Mr. Karlman, Patrick Bristow as Marty Jacobsen, Dewey Weber as Jeff, Ungela Brockman as Annie, Melissa Williams as Julie, Pamela Anderson as Party Singer, William Shockley as Andrew Carver, and Lin Tucci as Henrietta 'Mama' Bazoom.

Showgirls Quotes

Alan Rachins as Tony Moss

  • (Alan Rachins) "You got something wrong with your nipples?"
  • (Alan Rachins) "Can you MGM backwards? I bet you can't."
  • (Spelling Dancer) "MGM."
  • (Alan Rachins) "I'm impressed."
  • (Alan Rachins) "Okay ladies, I'm Tony Moss. I produce this show. Some of you have probably heard that I'm a prick; I am a prick. I got one interest here, and that's the show. I don't care whether you live or die. I want to see you dance and I want to see you smile. I can't use you if you can't smile, I can't use you if you can't show, I can't use you if you can't sell."
  • (Alan Rachins) "What are these, watermelons? This is a stage, babe, it's not a patch. See ya."
  • (Alan Rachins) "Cristal Connors is a star, Sam. You can't just replace her."
  • (Greg Travis) "What if we could just bring somebody in while she's recuperating?"
  • (Alan Rachins) "She could be out for a year, Phil."
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "Like who?"
  • (Greg Travis) "Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul."
  • (Alan Rachins) "Paula Abdul, in my show?"
  • (Al Ruscio) "I'm not going to pay those kind of salaries."
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "Well, in that case, Mr. Karlman, we do what we do in Vegas."
  • (Al Ruscio) "What?"
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "We gamble."
  • (Alan Rachins) "What are you doing here?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I'm watching you be a prick."
  • (Alan Rachins) "I'm erect. Why aren't you erect?"
  • (Alan Rachins) "Come back when you've f***ed some of this baby fat off. See ya."

Elizabeth Berkley as Nomi Malone

  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Don't they have brown rice and vegetables?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "Do you like brown rice and vegetables?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Yeah."
  • (Gina Gershon) "You do?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Sort of."
  • (Gina Gershon) "Really?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "It's worse than dog food."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "It is."
  • (Gina Gershon) "I've had dog food."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "You have?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "Mmm-hmmm. Long time ago. Doggy Chow. I used to love Doggy Chow."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I used to love Doggy Chow, too."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Hello? Anybody here?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "Back here."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "What are you doing here?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "What am I doing here?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "I'm doin' some of the finest cocaine in the world, darlin'. You want some?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Mm-mmm."
  • (Gina Gershon) "It's great for the muscles. I told Marty I'd work on your turns with you, darlin', but I'm feelin' a little turned inside out myself today."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Cut the s***."
  • (Gina Gershon) "OK. We got off on the wrong foot. Wanna start dancin' all over again?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Why?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "Why not? Wanna go down to Spago, get somethin' to eat?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Where is it?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "Just down from Ver-sayce."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "It's Versace."
  • (Gina Gershon) "Ohhhhh, yeah."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Yeah."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "It's not fair."
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "It's not about fair. It's about power."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "You can't touch me, but I can touch you. I'd really love to touch you."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "You guys just sit over there and I'll change the music."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Dancing ain't f***ing, right?"
  • (Glenn Plummer) "Yeah, yeah, that's right."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "See ya."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I gotta go."
  • (Gina Gershon) "Aren't you gonna come here and give me a big kiss?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "Bye darlin."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Bye darlin."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Julie saw it."
  • (Gina Ravera) "Julie couldn't have seen it, I saw Julie and her back was to you."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "She saw it."
  • (Gina Ravera) "Wow. OK."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Are you hitting on me?"
  • (Gina Ravera) "No. You're not a hooker, are you?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "It doesn't suck."
  • (Reporter) "Ms. Malone, how did you feel about the show tonight?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I just hope that I can be as good as the show."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I got my period."
  • (Glenn Plummer) "Yeah, right."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Check."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Where are the police?"
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "They're not here."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Why the f*** aren't they here?"
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "Because they're not coming."
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "Don't do it -- Polly."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "How did you find out?"
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "You were busted for disturbing the peace at the Crave Club. The police took your fingerprints."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I don't have to listen to this."
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "Yes you do. Polly-Ann Costello. Your father killed your mother and then killed himself."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "f***. s***. f***. f***. f***. The f***er left."
  • (Gina Ravera) "Hey, that's my car. Stop it."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I want my f***ing suitcase."
  • (Gina Ravera) "Get the f*** off my car."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Hi, my name is Heather."
  • (Gina Gershon) "Hey Nomi. I love your nails. We'd like you to have a private dance with both of us."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "We don't do that. One at a time. No women."
  • (Gina Gershon) "A hundred dollars."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Sorry. That's the rules."
  • (Gina Gershon) "Two hundred. You just do Zack and I'll watch."
  • (Gina Gershon) "Five hundred."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I just went to Carver -- and I kicked the s*** out of him."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "You can f*** me when you love me."
  • (Glenn Plummer) "But I do love you."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Yeah right."
  • (Glenn Plummer) "You don't fool me. I see you."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Yeah? What do you see?"
  • (Glenn Plummer) "I see you hiding."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "From what?"
  • (Glenn Plummer) "From you. You got into some bad s*** somewhere?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Look. NEAT, huh?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I like your songs."
  • (William Shockley) "Thank you. You know, um, I like your ass. Call me."

Lin Tucci as Henrietta Bazoom

  • (Lin Tucci) "Honey, you could never handle me with all these wrinkles of fat. Why, you'd never find the thing. I'd have to piss on you to give you a clue."
  • (Lin Tucci) "What the hell is happening here?"
  • (Robert Davi) "She's going to the STARDUST. She's going to be in the show."
  • (Lin Tucci) "Well, la-di-da."
  • (Lin Tucci) "She misses us like that lump on my twat I had taken off last week."
  • (Lin Tucci) "You know what they call that useless piece of skin around a twat?"
  • (Lin Tucci) "A woman."
  • (Lin Tucci) "The Farmer in the Dell, The Farmer in the Dell, I had a cherry once, and now it's gone to hell."

Al Ruscio as Mr. Karlman

  • (Al Ruscio) "We could have brought anyone into this show: Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul. Nomi Malone is what Las Vegas is all about. She's dazzling, she's exciting, and very, very sexy."

Gina Gershon as Cristal Connors

  • (Gina Gershon) "Your friend has nice nails."
  • (Gina Ravera) "She does them herself."
  • (Gina Gershon) "Maybe she can do mine sometime."
  • (Gina Gershon) "I'm gettin' a little too old for that whorey look."
  • (Gina Gershon) "You f***ed her, didn't you?"
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "Does that piss you off because you're jealous, Cris? Or because I beat you to the punch?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "Molly, this top is way too tight. My breasts are just getting crushed in here."
  • (Gina Ravera) "I can loosen it for you."
  • (Gina Gershon) "Okay -- To about here -- Maybe -- No, no a little less. I want my nipples to press, but I don't want them to look like they're levitatin'."
  • (Gina Gershon) "It's amazing what paint and a surgeon can do."
  • (Gina Gershon) "You f*** him for the spot? Or you f*** him cause you wanted to? I say you did it for the spot."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Is that what you did, Cristal?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "You don't want to piss me off, darlin', now that we're friends."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "No -- You shouldn't get pissed off. Makes you look older."
  • (Gina Gershon) "You wanna dance?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Right now?"
  • (Gina Gershon) "It's now or never, that's what Elvis said."
  • (Gina Gershon) "There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you."
  • (Gina Gershon) "Oh, you know the best advice I ever got? You're up there on stage, hopin' on a spot. If someone gets in your way, step on 'em. If you're the only one left standing there, they hire you. That's about it. Thank you and good night, ladies and gentlemen. Elvis has left the building."

Robert Davi as Al Torres

  • (Robert Davi) "You're a f***ing stripper, don't you get it?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I'm a dancer."
  • (Robert Davi) "If you want to last longer than a week, you give me a blow-job. First I get you used to the money, then I make you swallow."
  • (Penny/Hope) "Is he serious?"

Glenn Plummer as James Smith

  • (Glenn Plummer) "What is he? Pimp? Only people I know got pimp cars are pimps."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "He's the entertainment director."
  • (Glenn Plummer) "That's exactly what I said; he's a pimp."
  • (Glenn Plummer) "You don't want to be in this kind of show. What you're doing, at least it's honest. They want tits and ass, you give 'em tits and ass. Here, they pretend they want something else, and you still show them tits and ass."
  • (Glenn Plummer) "Life sucks. s*** happens. I'm a student of t-shirts."
  • (Glenn Plummer) "I have a problem with p*****. I always have, and I'm always gonna."

Melissa Williams as Julie

  • (Melissa Williams) "Wouldn't it be great if one night she just fell down the stairs?"

Gina Ravera as Molly Abrams

  • (Gina Ravera) "Jerk, you don't have to be at work for three hours. What are you going to do, watch TV and eat chips?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Yeah. Where are the chips? You ate them, didn't you?"
  • (Gina Ravera) "Who was he?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Zack."
  • (Gina Ravera) "Oh my god. Did you tie him up?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Oh s***."
  • (Gina Ravera) "What?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I forgot to untie him."
  • (Gina Ravera) "Where are you from?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Back East."
  • (Gina Ravera) "From where back East?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Different places."
  • (Gina Ravera) "My right hand is so tight I can barely thread a needle."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Then use the left one."
  • (Gina Ravera) "For threading a needle?"

Patrick Bristow as Marty Jacobsen

  • (Patrick Bristow) "She's no butterfly. Tony, she's all pelvic thrust. I mean, she prowls. She's got it."
  • (Patrick Bristow) "Higher. Not that high. Stay in sync. One-two-three. And thrust it, thrust it, THRUST IT, COME ON, THRUST IT. AH. Ok, that's enough. Thank you, ladies."

Dewey Weber as Jeff

  • (Dewey Weber) "Oh, f***. It's you."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I want my f***ing suitcase -- asshole."
  • (Dewey Weber) "You gamble?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "No."
  • (Dewey Weber) "Well you gotta gamble if you're gonna win."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "I'm gonna win."
  • (Dewey Weber) "Hop in, pard."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Where are you going?"
  • (Dewey Weber) "Vegas. Come on. This is your lucky day."

Kyle MacLachlan as Zack Carey

  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "I got an MBA for this?"
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "Well, have some lobster -- Hey, did you ever hear Caesar sing? You'll love it."
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "Nomi's got heat."
  • (Gina Gershon) "Does she now?"
  • (Patrick Bristow) "Yes, she does -- in a totally different way, of course."
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "Nice dress."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Thanks. It's a Ver-sayce."
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "It's "Versace"."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "What?"
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "It's Versace. It's pronounced "Versace"."
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Oh."
  • (Kyle MacLachlan) "You have great taste and you look beautiful."

Michelle Johnston as Gay Carpenter

  • (Michelle Johnston) "You do eat brown rice and vegetables, don't you?"
  • (Michelle Johnston) "Wait, you need more orange."
  • (Michelle Johnston) "What do you want?"
  • (Elizabeth Berkley) "Um, burger, fries, and a soda."
  • (Michelle Johnston) "Get her some brown rice, vegetables, and a bottle of Evian."

Ungela Brockman as Annie

  • (Ungela Brockman) "Julie, you f***ing slut, you touch my make-up again and I'll f***ing kill you."
  • (Melissa Williams) "Oh, I'm a slut? Well, you f***ed that kid from the pizza place."
  • (Ungela Brockman) "Well, you f***ed the meter reader."
  • (Melissa Williams) "Bitch."
  • (Ungela Brockman) "Oh, you're f***ing dead."
  • (Ungela Brockman) "Molly, they're going to see a smiling snatch if you don't fix this g-string."

William Shockley as Andrew Carver

  • (William Shockley) "Black p*****."

Pamela Anderson as Party Singer

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