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Sliding Doors Quotes

Sliding Doors is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Sliding Doors ended its run in 1970.

It features Sydney Pollack, and Philippa Braithwaite as producer, David Hirschfelder in charge of musical score, and Remi Adefarasin as head of cinematography.

Sliding Doors is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom, and United States. Each episode of Sliding Doors is 99 minutes long. Sliding Doors is distributed by Miramax Films, and United International Pictures.

The cast includes: Jeanne Tripplehorn as Lydia, John Hannah as James, Gwyneth Paltrow as Helen, Douglas McFerran as Russell, John Lynch as Gerry, Zara Turner as Anna, and John Hannah as Patron in Restaurant where Helen is a waitress.

Sliding Doors Quotes

Gwyneth Paltrow as Helen

  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "I come home and catch you up to your nuts in Lady Shagging Godiva."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "OK, I'll go. I was getting a bit choked up with all the testosterone flying about the place. Best I get out before I start growing a penis."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Thank you."
  • (John Hannah) "Cheer up, you know what the Monty Pythons always say --"
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) ""Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition""
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "For God's sake, Gerry. I asked you a simple question; there is no need for you to become Woody Allen."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Look, James. Maybe I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry, I'm not being fair. You know, under normal circumstances, etcetera -- You're really nice; and funny. My friend Anna thinks you're cute --"
  • (John Hannah) "Wait. Wait. Your friend Anna thinks I'm cute? Your friend ANNA thinks I'm cute? s***, I just blew; wait"
  • (John Hannah) "two eighty-five on the wrong girl."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "So who are you on the rebound from?"
  • (John Hannah) "A girl called Pamela. My whole life pivots around Pam and I breaking up."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "When was that?"
  • (John Hannah) "1973, we were eight. I bloody loved that woman. No warning just up, gone, left me for someone else."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Who?"
  • (John Hannah) "Gary Glitter. Gary Glitter for cryin' out loud. I mean all my friends were being left for Donny Osmond or David Cassidy, I could have come to terms with that given time, but Gary oooooh she wanted to touch him there yeeaah --"
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Bollocks to him. I'm over him."
  • (Zara Turner) "Oh. You're over him."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Yes. Totally and utterly and completely over him."
  • (Zara Turner) "No you're not."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "I am."
  • (Zara Turner) "You're not."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Anna, I'm over him. What do you mean I'm not? How do you know I'm not?"
  • (Zara Turner) "Well, two things really. One, you're still counting how long you've been apart in days; and probably hours and minutes; but the big-flashing-red-light way of telling you're not really over someone is when you're still reading their horoscope in the hope that they're going to get wiped out in some freak napalming incident."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Smartass."
  • (Zara Turner) "What is he?"
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "A wanker."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Oh. Aries."
  • (Zara Turner) "Aries -- Aries -- well, just shows how much I know."
  • (Zara Turner) ""With Mars your ruler in the ascendancy, you will get wiped out in a freak napalming incident and Helen says bollocks to you." This guy's very good."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "I kissed you."
  • (John Hannah) "Yeah, I spotted that too."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "I didn't know you liked Elton John."
  • (John Lynch) "I-I-I do sometimes."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "God. I feel like such a mug. Useless, no good, shagging, horrible, despicable, lying, two faced, pissing, shagging --"
  • (Zara Turner) "You said shagging."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "-- wanker."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "You wanker. You sad, sad wanker."

John Hannah as James

  • (John Hannah) "Come on. If you don't drink your fatty drinks, you'll never really achieve quality cellulite."
  • (John Hannah) "Hey, gorgeous. What do you do when you're not serving up mad cow burgers in here, eh?"
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Well, now, then, let me see. I get up at about 7:30AM making and delivering sandwiches in the West End during the day before I come here about 6 o'clock and finish at midnight. After that, if I've got any energy left, I give my boyfriend a blow job."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Would you like some mayonnaise with that?"
  • (John Hannah) "What are you doing two weeks on Saturday?"
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Probably killing myself."
  • (John Hannah) "Excellent. What time does that finish? Do you like boats?"
  • (John Hannah) "Everything happens for the best. You'll never know if you don't try."
  • (John Hannah) "Hands up if you drank too much, eh?"
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Hey, I'm not as drunk as thinkle peep I am."
  • (Zara Turner) "Put a wick in her mouth and she'd burn for a fortnight."
  • (John Hannah) "Everybody's born knowing all the Beatles lyrics instinctively. They're passed into the fetus subconsciously along with all the amniotic stuff. Fact, they should be called "The Fetals"."
  • (John Hannah) "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) ""Always look on the bright side of life"?"
  • (John Hannah) "No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.""
  • (John Hannah) "Well, if it makes you feel any better -- do you see that bloke over there?"
  • (John Hannah) "Not only does he own a personalized matching set of crocodile-skin luggage, but his favorite TV program is Baywatch. So you see there's always someone sadder than you."
  • (John Hannah) "Do you love him?"
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "No, I could never love a Baywatch fan."

Douglas McFerran as Russell

  • (Douglas McFerran) "You want my opinion?"
  • (John Lynch) "Will I like it?"
  • (Douglas McFerran) "Well, of course not. It'll be based in reality."
  • (Douglas McFerran) "You've been talking to yourself in the mirror again, haven't you?"
  • (Douglas McFerran) "Sorry, let me just -- Lydia's becoming more and more demanding and you feel bad because Helen's working night and day to keep the money coming in. But you've asked Helen to come on a research trip to Dorset with you; knowing that she wouldn't be able to; to cover up the fact that you're really taking Lydia. And despite the fact that Lydia gave you an out on the phone; which you didn't take; you're having a moral dilemma."
  • (Douglas McFerran) "Gerry, you are a morality-free zone."
  • (Douglas McFerran) "I must say, being friends with you certainly makes the wait for the next episode of "Seinfeld" much easier to bear."

Jeanne Tripplehorn as Lydia

  • (Jeanne Tripplehorn) "I'm trying to be your girlfriend Gerry. I'm trying to win you back. I'm standing on the platform at Limbo Central with my heart and soul packed in my suitcase waiting for the Gerry f***ing Express to roll in and tell me that my ticket is still valid and that I may reboard the train. Only the station announcer keeps coming on and telling me that my train has been delayed as the driver has suffered a major panic attack in Indecision City, "We suggest you take the bus". That's what I have been trying to do, you cripple."
  • (Jeanne Tripplehorn) "Gerry, I'm a woman. We don't say what we WANT. But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating. And not a little bit scary."
  • (Jeanne Tripplehorn) "Who's there?"
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "It's Helen, actually. We met once, I interrupted you faking your orgasm. Sorry I can't be more specific."

John Lynch as Gerry

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Zara Turner as Anna

  • (Zara Turner) "James?"
  • (Zara Turner) "Since last night?"
  • (Zara Turner) "Sorry."
  • (Zara Turner) "You can't tell from one. They can be inaccurate."
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "I bought three packets. Two in a packet; that's six. You can tell from six."
  • (Zara Turner) "Are you okay?"
  • (Gwyneth Paltrow) "Yes, just going quietly mad."
  • (Zara Turner) "Thank goodness for that. I was worried."

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