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Sometimes You Hear the Bullet Quotes

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . Sometimes You Hear the Bullet ended in 1970.

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet Quotes

  • (Hawkeye) "War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse."
  • (Father Mulcahy) "How do you figure, Hawkeye?"
  • (Hawkeye) "Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell?"
  • (Father Mulcahy) "Sinners, I believe."
  • (Hawkeye) "Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them; little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander."
  • (Frank Burns) "I wonder if I can say something useful?"
  • (Trapper) "I often wonder that too, Frank."
  • (B.J.) "What's Frank up to?"
  • (Hawkeye) "I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so."
  • (Henry Blake) "You're always wrong, Frank. That's what's so right about you."
  • (Colonel Flagg) "I could kill you with one finger."
  • (Hawkeye) "Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch."
  • (Unnamed) "Attention all personnel. Due to a lack of casualties, today's midnight movie will be shown at 9:00 in the morning -- And midnight has been canceled."
  • (Frank Burns) "All right, where's my razor?"
  • (Hawkeye) "Been shaving your legs again, Frank?"
  • (Trapper) "How should I know? I dropped out of school to become a doctor."
  • (Frank Burns) "I'm sick of hearing about the wounded. What about all the thousands of wonderful guys who are fighting this war without any of the credit or the glory that always goes to those lucky few who just happen to get shot?"
  • (Col. Potter) "The General answers his own phone. Must be a Unitarian."
  • (Charles) "Where is that Lebanese mongoose?"
  • (Margaret) "I am a woman, after all."
  • (Hawkeye) "Is that true, Frank?"
  • (Frank Burns) "Why don't you guys like me?"
  • (Hawkeye) "Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person."
  • (Frank Burns) "Aside from that."
  • (B.J.) "Well, there's your pimples."
  • (Frank Burns) "My pores won't close."
  • (Henry Blake) "Frank, whatever it is, just write it down and put it on my desk where I can't find it."
  • (Trapper) "I've never met a nurse that didn't register."
  • (Dr. Sidney Freedman) "You're a tribute to man's endurance. A monument to hope in size 12 pumps. I hope you do get out someday. There would be a battalion of men in hoop skirts right behind you."
  • (Charles) "Hunnicutt, I've known a lot of people in my life. You are not among them."
  • (Radar) "Sir, I was just crossing the compound when --"
  • (Frank Burns) "I have no interest in the compound."
  • (Klinger) "He has no compound-interest."
  • (Frank Burns) "This is the last straw."
  • (Hawkeye) "Remind me to order more straws."
  • (Hawkeye) "Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you."
  • (Trapper) "Take a walk, Frank."
  • (Hawkeye) "Yeah, take a major walk."
  • (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel -- the wounded you've all been waiting for has finally arrived in person -- report to the Big Top immediately; the circus is about to begin."
  • (Charles) "Live. That's an order."
  • (Frank Burns) "I love it here."
  • (Col. Potter) "Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one."
  • (Henry Blake) "Do we have enough sherry and ginger-ale for the General?"
  • (Radar) "Oh, nobody does, sir."
  • (Henry Blake) "Oh, fine then, if nobody does we don't have to, but make sure we do, just in case we don't."
  • (Unnamed) "Due To circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today."
  • (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel; this is your wake-up call."
  • (Hawkeye) "We like it. It's modeled after the Chicago sewer system."
  • (B.J.) "Why don't you do us a favour, and break it in."
  • (Hawkeye) "Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour."
  • (Henry Blake) "You two have gone over my head so many times I have athlete's scalp."
  • (Hawkeye) "Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?"
  • (Hawkeye) "Insanity is just a state of mind"
  • (Frank Burns) "I know I'm a real asset."
  • (Hawkeye) "You're only off by two letters."
  • (Hawkeye) "Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?"
  • (Frank Burns) "We're making real progress."
  • (Hawkeye) "I can tell. You have a Korean accent."
  • (Charles) "Klinger, you are a gentleman and a lady."
  • (Frank Burns) "It's the way these yellow devils think. It's burned into their brains. Kill Americans, kill, kill. They don't respect human life the way we do. I'd like to take him out and shoot him."
  • (Col. Potter) "Y'know, I had a still, on Guam. One night, it blew up."
  • (Col. Potter) "That's how I got my Purple Heart."
  • (Frank Burns) "Spontaneity has its time and its place."
  • (Radar) "I thought this stuff was supposed to make you feel better."
  • (B.J.) "No. It's supposed to make you feel nothing."
  • (Unnamed) "Hear ye, Hear ye, it's 0700 and all is hell. Incoming wounded, folks."
  • (Klinger) "Sir, I've had a lot of experience in these matters."
  • (Charles) "I do not need the wisdom of your experience. I am not selling watches from the trunk of a car."
  • (Margaret) "Act like a man, you sniveling twerp."
  • (Frank Burns) "Margaret, can't we please talk about this?"
  • (Margaret) "Remove your hand or I'll zap you with my knee."
  • (Hawkeye) "If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover."
  • (Trapper) "They got a lot of guts."
  • (Hawkeye) "And they keep serving them."
  • (Radar) "Will Scotch be all right for everybody, sir?"
  • (Henry Blake) "Yeah, fine, Radar; perfect."
  • (Radar) "Uh, I ran out of ice sir, so I used bourbon."
  • (Father Mulcahy) "Colonel, an ambulance has turned over in the compound, you better come on the double."
  • (Col. Potter) "Anybody hurt?"
  • (Father Mulcahy) "Well, the driver's a bit shaken-up, but he'll be all right."
  • (Col. Potter) "No-one else inside?"
  • (Father Mulcahy) "No."
  • (Col. Potter) "Thank God."
  • (Father Mulcahy) "I already did."
  • (Dr. Sidney Freedman) "I haven't washed my hands since I became a psychiatrist."
  • (Frank Burns) "It's nice to be nice -- to the nice."
  • (Radar) "Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there?"
  • (Hawkeye) "Well, it's today here."
  • (B.J.) "It's always today here."
  • (Hawkeye) "Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow?"
  • (B.J.) "Good point."
  • (Hawkeye) "Ha, I wasn't born yesterday."
  • (Colonel Lambert) "Honest, true blue as the day is long, and about as interesting as a five-pound bag of fertilizer."
  • (Hawkeye) "I'm too frightened to be scared."
  • (Klinger) "50 more pounds, and I'm homeward-bound."
  • (Col. Potter) "You're going to eat you way to a discharge?"
  • (Klinger) "I call it "Food for Freedom"."
  • (Col. Potter) "I call it "Suicide by Salami"."
  • (Klinger) "I'll take my chances."
  • (Col. Potter) "Okay, when you can't get through that door, come see me."
  • (Klinger) "I'll be wearing a size 30, sir."
  • (Frank Burns) "The men hate me, don't they?"
  • (Radar) "Just your guts, sir."
  • (Hawkeye) "You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din."
  • (Frank Burns) "Klinger, how dare you wear that hat while in uniform?"
  • (Klinger) "It's spring, sir."
  • (Margaret) "Oh, Frank. You're so above average."
  • (Unnamed) "Attention all personnel. Due to the shortage of oil and wood, tonight's movie will be burned at 1800."
  • (Frank Burns) "Funny thing, war: never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy."
  • (Margaret) "We're lucky to be two of the few and not the many."
  • (Frank Burns) "I know, darling, and I love being both of us."
  • (Frank Burns) "I'm taking this to a higher authority."
  • (Trapper) "Aw, Frank -- you're not going to write your mother again."
  • (Father Mulcahy) "Here you go kids -- just something to read on the way."
  • (Hawkeye) "If you have any questions they have branch offices everywhere."
  • (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel; we interrupt your sweet dreams to bring you the following nightmare."
  • (Frank Burns) "That's not my department, sir; intelligence is something I try to avoid."
  • (B.J.) "Big surprise dinner party. Spectacularly unforgetable. Have you ever considered renting your mouth out to the motor pool as a garage?"
  • (Henry Blake) "Will you stop saying what I'm thinking?"
  • (Radar) "One of us has to."
  • (Radar) "Sir, there's someone waiting to see you."
  • (Henry Blake) "I was born with someone waiting to see me."
  • (Frank Burns) "You disgust me."
  • (Hawkeye) "You're right, Frank -- I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting."
  • (Radar) "My own father didn't have me until he was 63, and the first time we played peek-a-boo together he had a stroke."
  • (Frank Burns) "I don't see why the American taxpayer has to pay for a wedding between these two pagans."
  • (Margaret) "They're not pagans, Frank. Everyone's going to be wearing clothes."
  • (Frank Burns) "Attention all Allied personnel. There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one."
  • (Hawkeye) "Very good, Frank."
  • (B.J.) "They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem."

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