Splitting Heirs Quotes

Splitting Heirs is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Splitting Heirs ended in 1970.

It features Simon Bosanquet as producer, Michael Kamen in charge of musical score, and Tony Pierce-Roberts as head of cinematography.

Splitting Heirs is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Splitting Heirs is 87 minutes long. Splitting Heirs is distributed by UIP (UK/International).

The cast includes: Eric Idle as Tommy Patel, Richard Huw as Brittle, Stratford Johns as Butler, Barbara Hershey as Duchess Lucinda, John Cleese as Shadgrind, and Catherine Zeta-Jones as Kitty.

Splitting Heirs Quotes

Catherine Zeta-Jones as Kitty

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "You practically date-raped me"
• (Eric Idle) "I what? I date raped you 6 TIMES."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Well, perhaps I did encourage you a bit."
• (Eric Idle) "A BIT."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "That's Henry's mother, the black sheep in the family. She took so many strokes in the 60s they called her the U.S. open."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Sex before the wedding is so much better without the groom."

Eric Idle as Tommy Patel

• (Henry Martin) "I'm a hard man to kill."
• (Eric Idle) "Oh I know."

• (Adoption Agent) "She insisted that you were adopted by a member of the working class to save you from the curse of money."
• (Eric Idle) "How very thoughtful --"

• (Eric Idle) "You called me over."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "And you came. And I forgive you."
• (Eric Idle) "Oh how kind."

• (CID Officer) "We believe foul play was involved."
• (Eric Idle) "Surely you don't think I --"
• (CID Officer) "I don't think anything, sir. I'm a police officer."

• (Eric Idle) "Piss off."
• (John Cleese) "Bit louder there Tommy."
• (Eric Idle) "f*** OFF."
• (John Cleese) "Perfect."

John Cleese as Shadgrind

• (John Cleese) "So many of you orphans. Unwanted children all over the place. People were sex-mad in the 60s, seemed to do it just for fun -- Weird."

Barbara Hershey as Duchess Lucinda

• (Barbara Hershey) "Stop? You can't just arouse a woman and then yell stop, even if you are English --"

Stratford Johns as Butler

• (Stratford Johns) "Drunk again, sir?"
• (Henry Martin) "That's okay, Butler. So are we."

Richard Huw as Brittle

• (Richard Huw) "Congratulations, sir."
• (Henry Martin) "Eh, you can kiss ass later, Brittle."
• (Richard Huw) "Thank you, sir."

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