Spread (film) Quotes

Spread (film) is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Spread ended in 1970.

It features Jason Goldberg as producer, John Swihart in charge of musical score, and Steven Poster as head of cinematography.

Spread (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Spread (film) is 98 minutes long. Spread (film) is distributed by Anchor Bay Films.

The cast includes: Anne Heche as Samantha, Ashton Kutcher as Nikki, Sebastian Stan as Harry, and Margarita Levieva as Heather.

Spread (film) Quotes

Ashton Kutcher as Nikki

• (Ashton Kutcher) "It doesn't matter if you can cook or not. Women grade on effort. It's almost better when the meal's a flop. It shows you're willing to make a fool of yourself. It's all about creating equity. Think of it as a point system. One for flowers, two for dinner, three for an orgasm. You need 26 points for them to trust you. And then you can go back to watching football."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "But tonight I'm not looking for the tight skin of a 20-year old. I'm in need of assiduation and that changes the game."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "Ah -- here we go. The jacket's Dolce, the jeans are by Helmut Lang and the complexion comes from a strict regimen of facials. I'm guessing she drives a Mercedes. By the way, there's only one pick-up line. Everything else is cheese."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "Hi. What's your name?"
• (Anne Heche) "Samantha."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "Hi, Samantha. I'm Nikki."
• (Anne Heche) "I'm leaving."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "Really? Why?"
• (Anne Heche) "It's late."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "You're right. We should get going. So wait a second. You had dinner here? What'd you have?"
• (Anne Heche) "I had a salad."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "What kind of salad?"
• (Anne Heche) "A Greek salad."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "You had a Greek salad at a French restaurant? I like that. Oh. Valet, huh? I bet you're a bad driver. You want me to drive? I'll flip you for it. Here. Heads, I drive; tails, you drive. There it is."
• (Anne Heche) "It's tails. You flipped it."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "Well, you always flip it. Don't be a sore loser."
• (Anne Heche) "Look, you're cute and everything, but you're not coming home with me. Thank you."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "You're gonna have to do better than that. "You're cute and everything"? What's is that?"
• (Anne Heche) "I was trying not to be rude."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "You're far from rude."
• (Anne Heche) "Awww."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "I'll help you out. Tell me you're married."
• (Anne Heche) "I am not married. That would be a lie."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "You're not. Tell me that you're madly in love with someone."
• (Anne Heche) "That would also be a lie."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "Mm-hmm. Then tell me why I can't come home with you?"
• (Ashton Kutcher) "Roll the windows down, turn the music up and make an ass of yourself. It puts them at ease."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "When a girl tells you you're not getting any, before you ask, before you even try, you're getting some."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "They say you gotta kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. But in this town everyone thinks they're royalty. And the frogs don't stand a chance."

• (Ashton Kutcher) "My whole life it was obvious I would going to end up in this city. And I'm still here --"

• (Ashton Kutcher) "How do you like my new house?"
• (Sebastian Stan) "You think any girls are gonna believe this is your house?"
• (Ashton Kutcher) "The young ones do. Oh FYI, I'm a graphic designer if anyone asks."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "What? What happened?"
• (Sebastian Stan) "I blew it."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "With who?"
• (Sebastian Stan) "El Paso Erin."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "That DJ girl?"
• (Sebastian Stan) "No, that's Hi-fi Tara. No El Paso's a somatologist. She's --"
• (Ashton Kutcher) "That's --"
• (Sebastian Stan) "I f***in' froze up. I couldn't say anything. I -- I started making cricket noises."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "You know what your problem is? You care too much. You gotta cut out the conversation, right? And just say something to piss 'em off."
• (Sebastian Stan) "Why?"
• (Ashton Kutcher) "'Cause once you piss 'em off, you set up the apology. And once you apologize you look like a sensitive guy."
• (Sebastian Stan) "I am a sensitive guy."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "All right, but you've gotta look like a rebel before you look like a sensitive guy."

Anne Heche as Samantha

• (Anne Heche) "Let me tell you something. You are getting older. You're losing your looks. And you're only charming 'cause you're cute. You're not really charming. You're not funny. And you're not smart. I hope you understand that. You're nothing but six inches and a pretty face and you're gonna have to suffer just like everybody else."
• (Ashton Kutcher) "It's seven."
• (Anne Heche) "It's not seven."

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