Steel Magnolias Quotes

Steel Magnolias is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Steel Magnolias stopped airing in 1970.

It features Ray Stark as producer, Georges Delerue in charge of musical score, and John A. Alonzo as head of cinematography.

Steel Magnolias is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Steel Magnolias is 117 minutes long. Steel Magnolias is distributed by TriStar Pictures.

Steel Magnolias Quotes

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "What's the matter with you these days, M'Lynn? You got a reindeer up your butt?"

• (M'Lynn) "That sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Drum, eat s*** and die."

• (Clairee Belcher) "You know, you would be a much more contented, pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "I'm pleasant. Damn it. I saw Drum Eatenton this morning at the Piggly Wiggly, and I smiled at the son of a bitch 'fore I couldn't help myself."

• (Truvy) "What are your colors, Shelby?"
• (Shelby) "My colors are "blush" and "bashful.""
• (M'Lynn) "Her colors are "pink" and pink.""
• (Shelby) "My colors are "blush" and "bashful" Mama."
• (M'Lynn) "How precious is this weddin' gonna get, I ask you?"

• (Truvy) "Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly."

• (M'Lynn) "Shelby, as you know, wouldn't want us to get mired down and wallow in this. We should handle it the best way we know how and get on with it. That's what my mind says, I just wish somebody would explain it to my heart."

• (Shelby) "Remember what Daddy always says; an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em. And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries."

• (Truvy) "There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money."

• (Clairee Belcher) "All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve."

• (Annelle) "Sammy Wayne Desoto, what is this in my Frigidaire?"
• (Sammy) "Beer."
• (Annelle) "I don't care what you do with your refrigerator, but you will not keep liquor in mine."
• (Sammy) "Oh, Annelle, for Christ's sake."
• (Annelle) "Who? Who did you say?"
• (Sammy) "Christ, Christ, Christ."
• (Annelle) "Are you speaking of our Lord? Is that whose name you're taking in vain?"
• (Sammy) "That's the one."
• (Annelle) "Well, I'm sorry, Sammy. But I am not about to spend the next fifty years of my life with someone I'm not gonna run into in the hereafter."
• (Sammy) "Oh, Annelle, goddammit."
• (Annelle) "I think we should pray."
• (Sammy) "Oh, I'd rather eat dirt."

• (Truvy) "Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face."

• (Annelle) "Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair."

• (Truvy) "You are playin' hard to get."
• (Clairee Belcher) "At her age, she should be playin' beat the clock."

• (Truvy) "Oh, Sammy's so confused he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt."

• (M'Lynn) "They brought the car around."
• (Shelby) "What did they do to it?"
• (M'Lynn) ". Let me put this way. If you and Jackson want to practice safe sex, you're all set."

• (Clairee Belcher) "The older you get, the sillier you get."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Yeah, well the older you get, the uglier you get."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "You are evil, and you must be destroyed."
• (Clairee Belcher) "Mother Nature's taking care of that faster than you could."

• (M'Lynn) "We have this new psychiatrist that comes in two days a week and of course I pick her name out of the grab bag, I have to pick something up for her tomorrow. Would you put that on the list, I have no idea what to get your father. What's Jackson giving you, do you know?"
• (Shelby) "Furniture."
• (M'Lynn) "Furniture, well, my. Must be nice to be married to a rich lawyer. What's it for, the living room?"
• (Shelby) "No, for the nursery."
• (Shelby) "We wanted to tell you when you and daddy were together, but you're never together so it's every man for himself. I'm pregnant."
• (M'Lynn) "I realize that."
• (Shelby) "Well is that it? Is that all you're gonna say?"
• (M'Lynn) "What do you want me to say?"
• (Shelby) "Well, something along the lines of congratulations."
• (M'Lynn) "Congratulations."
• (Shelby) "Would it be too much to ask for a little excitement, not too much I wouldn't want you to break a sweat or anything. It's in July. Oh Mama, you have to help me plan. We're gonna get a new house. Jackson and I are going house hunting next week. Jackson loves to hunt for anything."
• (M'Lynn) "What does Jackson say about all of this?"
• (Shelby) "He's so excited. He says he doesn't care whether it's a boy or a girl, but I know he really wants a son so bad he can taste it. He's really cute about the whole thing. It's all he can talk about: Jackson Latree, Jr."
• (M'Lynn) "Does he ever? Listen, I mean when doctors and specialists give you advice. Does he listen? I know you never do, does he? Huh? What? Well, I guess since he doesn't have to carry the baby it really isn't any of his concern."
• (Shelby) "Mama, I want a child."
• (M'Lynn) "What about adoption? You've filled out all the applications."
• (Shelby) "Mama, no judge is gonna give a baby to someone with my medical records. Jackson even put out feelers about buying one."
• (M'Lynn) "People do it all the time."
• (Shelby) "Listen to me. I want a child of my own. I think it would help things a lot."
• (M'Lynn) "I see."
• (Shelby) "Mama, you worry too much. In fact I never worry 'cause I always know you're worried enough for the both of us. Jackson and I have given this a lot of thought."
• (M'Lynn) "Has he really? Well, there's a first time for everything."
• (Shelby) "Don't start on Jackson."
• (M'Lynn) "Your poor body has been through so much. Why would you deliberately do this to yourself?"
• (Shelby) "Diabetics have healthy babies all the time."
• (M'Lynn) "You are special Shelby. There are limits to what you can do."

• (M'Lynn) "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine."
• (M'Lynn) "I'm fine. I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't. She never could. Oh God. I am so mad I don't know what to do. I wanna know why. I wanna know why Shelby's life is over. I wanna know how that baby will ever know how wonderful his mother was. Will he ever know what she went through for him. Oh God I wanna know why ? Why ? Lord, I wish I could understand."
• (M'Lynn) "No. No. No. It's not supposed to happen this way. I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first. I-I don't think I can take this. I-I don't think I can take this. I-I just wanna hit somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do. I just wanna hit something. I wanna hit it hard."
• (Clairee) "Here."
• (Clairee) "Hit this. Go ahead M'Lynn, slap her."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Are you crazy?"
• (Clairee) "Hit her."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Are you high, Clairee?"
• (Truvy) "Clairee, have you lost your mind?"
• (Clairee) "We'll sell t-shirts sayin' "I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX." Hit her."
• (Annelle) "Ms. Clairee, enough."
• (Clairee) "Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man. Knock her lights out, M'Lynn."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Let go o' me."
• (Clairee) "M'Lynn, you just missed the chance of a lifetime. Half o' Chiquapin Parish'd give their eye teeth to take a whack at Ouiser."

• (Nancy Beth Marmillion) "That Jackson is one big hangin' man."
• (Shelby) "Yes, I know."

• (Clairee Belcher) "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger."

• (Shelby) "You know what you need in here, Truvy. You need a radio. Music is a wonderful thing to have in the background and it takes the pressure off of people who feel they"
• (Shelby) "have to talk so much."
• (Truvy) "I used to have one, but I slammed it against the wall when I couldn't figure where the batteries went. I know know I was suffering from pre menstruatal syndrome."

• (Clairee) "Anne Boleyn had six fingers."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Who's Anne Berlin?"
• (Clairee) "Anne Boleyn. She was one of the six wives of Henry VIII."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "I never watch public television."
• (Clairee) "She had six fingers."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "What happened to the other four?"
• (Clairee) "She had 11 total."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Are you trying to confuse me, Clairee?"
• (Clairee) "No. I just want to expose us to a little more culture. And that's not easy to come by in this neck of the woods."

• (Shelby) "Was she prayin?"
• (Truvy) "Yes."
• (Shelby) "Why."
• (Truvy) "Got me, maybe she was praying for Marshall and Drew and Bell. My she was praying for us cause we was gossipin. Maybe she was praying because the elastic is shot in her pantyhose. Who knows she prays at the drop of a hat these days."

• (Drum) "Oh, Ouiser -- I don't wanna have to kill you."

• (Annelle) "That is one ugly dog. What kind of dog is that?"
• (Clairee) "If it had hair, it'd be a Saint Bernard."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Clairee, this is just a gesture. We're not feedin' Drum until the end of time."
• (Clairee Belcher) "Drum loves pork and beans. Eats 'em with everything."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "That explains a lot."

• (Clairee) "Why do you give all these to me?"
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Somebody's gotta take em, I hate em, I try not to eat healthy food if I can possibly help it."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Annelle, take your Bible and shove it where the sun doesn't shine."

• (Shelby) "Relax. You can't screw up her hair. Just tease it and make it look like a brown football helmet."

• (Clairee Belcher) "-- But I love the top; such a vibrant purple. Bob, would you call this color "grape" or "aubergine'?"
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "SHUT UP."
• (Clairee Belcher) "What?"
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "You're makin' a fool outta yourself, Clairee."
• (Clairee Belcher) "I am not."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "This is football. All the people wanna hear about are touchdowns and injuries. They don't give a damn 'bout that grape s***."

• (M'Lynn) "Oh Ouiser, Drum would NEVER point a gun at a lady."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Oh. He's a real gentleman. I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he PEES in it."

• (Clairee Belcher) "Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket."

• (Truvy) "Oh, honey, God don't care which church you go, long as you show up."

• (Shelby) "Wedding cake in the dining room, and groom's cake --"
• (Shelby) "hidden in the carport?"
• (M'Lynn) "Shelby and I, we agree on one thing:"
• (M'Lynn) "The groom's cake."
• (Shelby) "It's awful."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Get your roots done."

• (Shelby) "Truvy, you know what you need in here? You need a radio, takes the pressure off of everyone feeling they have to talk so much."
• (Truvy) "I had one once, but I threw it up against the wall when I couldn't figure out where the batteries went. I know now I was suffering from pre-menstrual syndrome."

• (Clairee) "Ouiser, you sound almost chipper. What happened today; you run over a small child or something?"

• (Drum) "Ouiser, can we call a truce long enough for me to get a piece of cake?"
• (Drum) "Aww, thanks Ouiser. Nothin' like a good piece of ass."

• (Truvy) "In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight."

• (Truvy) "There is no such thing as natural beauty."

• (Truvy) "I kind of like hiring somebody with a past."
• (Clairee) "She can't be more than eighteen. She hasn't had time to have a past."
• (Truvy) "Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "You are a pig from hell."

• (Clairee) "And I can also report that a mysterious car is parked in her driveway at least once a week --"
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "There. My secrets out. I'm having an affair with a Mercedes Benz."

• (M'Lynn) "I find it amusing. Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something. I just sat there. I just held Shelby's hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh god. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life."

• (Truvy) "I don't like her. I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural."

• (Clairee Belcher) "They were both high. They'd been smokin' everything but their shoes."

• (Truvy) "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."

• (Annelle) "Does your dress have to go over your head?"
• (M'Lynn) "No"
• (Annelle) "OH. Thank God."

• (Annelle) "We'll talk about uncomfortable when you're nine months pregnant."

• (Clairee) "I've just been to the dedication of the new children's park."
• (Truvy) "Yeah, how did that go?"
• (Clairee) "Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous."
• (Truvy) "Was she hurt?"
• (Clairee) "I doubt it. She got hit in the head."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "I am just about at the end of my rope with you."
• (Drum) "Well, then why don't you tie a noose and slip it 'round your head?"

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Yes, Annelle, I pray. Well, I do. There, I said it, I hope you're satisfied."
• (Annelle) "I suspected this all along."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Oh. Well don't you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin' God-only-knows-what. They'd probably make me eat a live chicken."
• (Annelle) "Not on your first visit."
• (Clairee Belcher) "Very good, Annelle. Spoken like a true smart-ass."

• (Truvy) "I'm just screamin' at my husband; I can do that any time."

• (M'Lynn) "Shelby, the boys bought the car around."
• (Shelby) "What did they do to it?"
• (M'Lynn) "Well, let me put it this way -- If you and Jackson want to practice safe sex, you're all set."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "You are too twisted for color TV."

• (Annelle) "Amen."
• (M'Lynn) "Was she just praying?"
• (Truvy) "Yes."
• (M'Lynn) "Why?"
• (Truvy) "Maybe she's praying for Marshall and Drew and Belle. Maybe she's praying for us because we're gossiping. Maybe she's praying because the elastic is shot in her pantyhose. Who knows. She prays a the drop of a hat these days."

• (Clairee) "Shelby, you scared us. That wasn't a nice thing to do to your mama. Never say that to a woman who's marinating 50 pounds of crab claws."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "This is it, I've found it, I'm in hell."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood 40 years."

• (Truvy) "When it comes to pain and suffering, she's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor."

• (Truvy) "Oh sweetheart don't. Please don't cry or I will too. I have a strict policy that nobody cries alone in my presence."

• (Annelle) "That wasn't a very Christian thing to do."
• (Clairee) "Oh Annelle, you gotta lighten up."

• (M'Lynn) "Oh, now, that's attractive, Ouiser."

• (M'Lynn) "My lord, the limousine's here"
• (Shelby) "What did they do to it?"
• (Shelby) "Well, let me put it this way: if you and Jackson plan of having safe sex, you're all set."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "I'm not as sweet as I used to be."

• (Clairee Belcher) "Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me."

• (Clairee Belcher) "I love ya more than my luggage."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy. I no longer have one."

• (Drum) "I heard you got so screwed up you cut your dog out of your will and had an ungrateful nephew to sleep."

• (Shelby) "I am going to be very, very careful, nobody is going to be hurt or disappointed or even inconvenienced."
• (M'Lynn) "Least of all Jackson, I'm sure."
• (Shelby) "You're jealous, because you no longer have a say so in what I do and that drives you up the wall. You're ready to spit nails because you can't call the shots."
• (M'Lynn) "I did not raise my daughter to talk to me like this."
• (Shelby) "Yes, you did."
• (M'Lynn) "Oh no, I didn't."
• (Shelby) "Whenever any of us asked you what you wanted for us when we grew up what did you say?"
• (M'Lynn) "Shelby, I'm not in the mood to play games."
• (Shelby) "Just tell me what you said, Mama, what did you say?"
• (M'Lynn) "The only thing I have ever said to you, ever, is that I want you to be happy."
• (Shelby) "Okay, the one thing that would make me happy is to have a baby. If I could adopt one I would, but I can't. I'm going to have a baby, and I wish you'd be happy too."
• (M'Lynn) "I'll tell you what I wish. Well, I don't know what I wish."
• (Shelby) "Mama, I don't know why you have to make everything so difficult. I look at having a baby as the opportunity of a lifetime. Sure there may be risk involved, but that's true for anybody. But you get through it and life goes on. And when it's all said and done there will be a little piece of immortality with Jackson's good looks and my sense of style, I hope. Please, please I need your support. I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "I should have never said that in front of Shelby."
• (Clairee) "Ouiser no one pays any attention to you."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "You know you would be a much more contended pleasant person if you would find ways to occupy your time."
• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "I am pleasant. Dammit. I just saw Drum Eatenton this mornin at the Piggly Wiggly and I smiled at the son of a bitch for I couldn't help myself."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste."

• (Shelby) "Pink is my signature color."

• (Ouiser Boudreaux) "My God, you look different. Have you shrunk?"

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