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Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story Quotes

Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story stopped airing in 1970.

It features Kara Vallow as producer, and Ron Jones (composer) in charge of musical score.

Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story is 88 minutes long. Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story is distributed by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment.

The cast includes: Seth MacFarlane as Stewie Griffin, John Viener as Brian Griffin, Alex Borstein as Lois Griffin, Mila Kunis as Peter Griffin, Mila Kunis as Stew Griffin, Jason Priestley as Fran, Don LaFontaine as FOX Announcer, Johnny Brennan as Horace, Alex Borstein as Tricia Takanawa, Seth Green as Chris Griffin, Mila Kunis as Meg Griffin, Kevin Michael Richardson as Ray Charles, Lori Alan as Diane Simmons, Seth MacFarlane as "Stewie Griffin" robot, Jennie Garth as lady, Rachael MacFarlane as Katie Couric, René Auberjonois as Odo, Mila Kunis as Quark Griffin, Jason Priestley as Brandon, and Phil LaMarr as Ollie Williams.

Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story Quotes

Alex Borstein as Lois Griffin

  • (Alex Borstein) "Hey,Peter,could you go to the concession stand,I need something to suck on."
  • (Glen Quagmire) "Gigidi Gigidi"
  • (Alex Borstein) "OK Chris. Now that we have practiced kissing and cuddling, we'll practice eating out -- at a fancy restaurant."
  • (Alex Borstein) "And here comes David Bowie. David, what brings you all the way to --"
  • (Unnamed) "Shh. Just you shut your mouth --"
  • (Alex Borstein) "I take you home, I make you fish bowel soup. Fish bowel."
  • (Tom Tucker) "Thank you, Tricia, for setting your people back a thousand years --"
  • (Alex Borstein) "Here comes Mayor Adam West himself. Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers?"
  • (Mayor Adam West) "Yes: box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup- no I take that one back. I'm gonna hold on to that one."
  • (Alex Borstein) "Thank you, Mayor West."
  • (Alex Borstein) "Aw, now don't worry Stewie, there's no need to be afraid, it won't bite you."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "SHUT UP. Stupid. What a stupid thing to say. You drown in it you moron. It doesn't have to bite you."
  • (Alex Borstein) "Hey,Peter,could you go to the concession stand,I need something to suck on."
  • (Glen Quagmire) "Gigidi Gigidi?"
  • (Alex Borstein) "Tom, I'm standing here admist the heated debate over a recent petition to change the name of the city from San Francisco to something a little less gay."

Johnny Brennan as Horace

  • (Johnny Brennan) "Hey, is he 18?"
  • (John Viener) "Horace, the drinking age is 21."
  • (Johnny Brennan) "Oh."

Jennie Garth as lady

  • (Jennie Garth) "Where's my baby."
  • (The Stork) "Sweety, you and me are going to make the baby"

Rachael MacFarlane as Katie Couric

  • (Rachael MacFarlane) "Coming up on Today, Tom Cruise has a new movie and we're gonna be talking to him."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Katie."
  • (Rachael MacFarlane) "Funny man Al Frankin will be stopping by for a visit."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Katie."
  • (Rachael MacFarlane) "And Wolfgang Puck shows his recipe for Apple Strudel."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Katie."
  • (Rachael MacFarlane) "So stay tuned because we got all of this and more coming up on the next hour."
  • (Mila Kunis) "KATIE."
  • (Rachael MacFarlane) "WHAT?"
  • (Mila Kunis) "Oh well, never mind."
  • (Rachael MacFarlane) "Coming up on Today, Tom Cruise has a new movie and we're gonna be talking to him."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Katie."
  • (Rachael MacFarlane) "Funny man Al Frankin will be stopping by for a visit."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Katie."
  • (Rachael MacFarlane) "And Wolfgang Pock shows his recipe for apple strudel."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Katie."
  • (Rachael MacFarlane) "So stay tuned because we got all of this and more coming up on the next hour."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Katie."
  • (Rachael MacFarlane) "What?"
  • (Mila Kunis) "Oh, well never mind then."

Seth MacFarlane as Stewie Griffin

  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Ewwww, a band-aid."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "You know what, give me your keys."
  • (John Viener) "No, no, I'm fine."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "No, no, give me your keys."
  • (John Viener) "I'm fine. I'm driving"
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "You're too drunk. Give me your keys."
  • (John Viener) "I'm fine. I'm driving."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Peter, Meg, Brian, you're too drunk give me your keys. You're too drunk to drive."
  • (John Viener) "I, I'm, uhhh, you're right. Here here you go."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "I'm going to go pump the chemical toilet. Apparently you're about to do the same."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Look, I really don't want to go to hell, but I can't stop my nature. I'm just a hateful person"
  • (John Viener) "You're not hateful you just need to control your anger. Like I do."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "oh, you mean by being sauced all day. Wait a minute. Of Course. That's it. If I'm drunk I'll be calm and if I'm calm I'll be nice, and if I'm nice then I won't go to hell. Fix me a highball I'm going to get good and tight."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Let's see -- umm -- I think it would have to be -- f***."
  • (Unnamed) "What's your favorite curse word?"
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Everybody. Everybody. I'm gonna jump. Gonna jump from -- Gonna jump -- to my high chair."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Stewie can you not interrupt? It grinds my gears when you do that."
  • (Alex Borstein) "Oh. He said it."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "You ready? Can you -- Can you see me -- gonna jump -- gonna ju -- jump to my highchair. You watching? Are you? Are you?"
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Ow. You see me?"
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Who's that fellow? He looks so familiar."
  • (Mila Kunis) "It's Meg. She has Sex-changed right after the College."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Wow. She went to College?"
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "In fact, just last summer I went back to visit Jesus Christ. Turns out his abilities might have been exaggerated a bit."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Hey Brian. Brian."
  • (John Viener) "What?"
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Knock-knock."
  • (John Viener) "Oh, come on."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Knock-knock."
  • (John Viener) "Who's there?"
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Your friend, Stewie. And he's always gonna be there for you."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Umm, feel free to say no to this but -- would you mind shaving my coin purse?"

John Viener as Brian Griffin

  • (John Viener) "This is the perfectly destroyed spider web."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Where's the spider?"
  • (John Viener) "Knock, knock."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Who's there?"
  • (John Viener) "I ate him."
  • (John Viener) "You're drunk."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "You're sexy."
  • (John Viener) "Hey Quagmire, isn't there an "o" in "country"?"
  • (John Viener) "What are you doing?"
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Well, you heard Captain Syphillis, we're going to California."
  • (John Viener) "Oh come on, you can't go alone with Quagmire. Look, I tell you what. If you're serious about this"
  • (John Viener) "I'll go with you. Although I should probably ask Peter and Lois if it's okay."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Oh, they won't even know we're gone."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Damn you, vile woman. Blast. What the deuce?"
  • ("Brian Griffin" robot) "I am a tool. Stewie is better than me at everything, including arts and crafts and the guitar. I have no friends."
  • (John Viener) "Wow, look at me. Hanging out drinking with Ernest Hemingway, Van Gogh and Kurt Cobain. Still, it feels like we all got here a little earlier than we should have."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, well, I finally collapsed under the weight of my own genius and shot myself."
  • (Unnamed) "I could not reconcile my passion with the way people around me were living so I shot myself."
  • (Unnamed) "I hated the thought of my music become part of some bland corporate mechanism so I shot myself."
  • (John Viener) "Yeah I, uh -- I got into the garbage and ate some chocolate."

Seth Green as Chris Griffin

  • (Seth Green) "Mom. Look at me."
  • (Seth Green) "How was that?"
  • (Alex Borstein) "Your third somersault was a little sloppy but what do I know, huh? It's been so long since i qualified for the Olympics."
  • (Seth Green) "You were in the Olympics?"
  • (Alex Borstein) "No, I got pregnant with Meg and couldn't go. Now I'm Pro Choice."
  • (Seth Green) "Mom, Meg reckons Omar Sharif is dead but I think she thinking of Anthony Quinn."
  • (Alex Borstein) "Chris, your father and I are in the tub. And Meg, you are thinking of Anthony Quinn."

Mila Kunis as Peter Griffin

  • (Mila Kunis) "You know what really grinds my gears? People in the 19th century. Why don't they get with the freakin program? It's called an automobile, folks. It's much faster than a horse."
  • (Mila Kunis) "How are you Betsy, welcome to the show you are a lovely young woman,"
  • (Mila Kunis) "and I'll just get my hand up there and feel that one and that one"
  • (Mila Kunis) "and we're looking for something you shop for at the mall, three seconds."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Thanks, Tom. You know what really grinds my gears? Nobody's come up with a new priest and a rabbi joke in like thirty years. Ya know? I mean, okay, ah, umm. Priest and a rabbi go, go onto the supermarket, and, uh, the priest wants to buy a ham. And the rabbi says, "Ah, I can't eat it. It's forbidden." Couldn't eat it. Not allowed, pigs are like superheroes to them. Is it perfect? No, but I, I don't see you coming up with anything. And that people is what grinds my gears. Tom?"
  • (Mila Kunis) "Hey, Stewie. How about Daddy teaches you how to swim?"
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Go -- away -- fat man."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Dah. What do you think you're doing? No means no."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Come on, Stewie. In -- the -- pool."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "No. No, I don't want to die. I want to live. Live."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Another thing that grinds my gears is when I can't find the droids I'm looking for."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, me too. What gives with that?"
  • (Mila Kunis) "And you know what else grinds my gears? You America."
  • (Mila Kunis) "f*** you. Diane?"
  • (Mila Kunis) "Um -- that's never happened before."
  • (Jason Priestley) "Which part? The eight seconds of sex or the 45 minutes of crying?"
  • (Mila Kunis) "Uh, I guess both."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Do I give you money now?"
  • (Jason Priestley) "Yeah, I'm gonna go."
  • (Mila Kunis) "For more about flatulence, you can visit my ass."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Kids, your mother and I have decided that we are gonna help you two get out in to dating world."
  • (Alex Borstein) "That's right. Chris, I'm gonna show you how to be an affable, desirable young man who doesn't smell like the inside of a wool hat."
  • (Seth Green) "Why you gotta break balls?"
  • (Mila Kunis) "And Meg when I get through with you, you're gonna be beating guys off with both hands."
  • (Mila Kunis) "This is gonna be so fun."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Hey. Zip it. Rule number one: No speaky until the man speaky to you."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Spiderman, Spiderman/ Here comes Peter on a clothesline but his name's not Peter it is Spiderman, Spiderman/ Come on Lois let's get busy maybe right here in the garden Spiderman, Spiderman."
  • (Mila Kunis) "We'll have to borrow the money from mommy and daddy."
  • (Mila Kunis) "AH."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Never call them that again. It's Lois and the Fatman. Do you hear me?"
  • (Mila Kunis) "Yes yes."
  • (Mila Kunis) "You know what really grinds my gears?"

Lori Alan as Diane Simmons

  • (Lori Alan) "-- And that's it for sports. Now, let's go to Ollie Williams with the Adopt-a-Pet of the week."
  • (Phil LaMarr) "Who wants this dog?"
  • (Lori Alan) "Thanks, Ollie. And now, let's go to Peter Griffin with "Ya Know What Really Grinds My; ""
  • (Lori Alan) "Tom, what are you doing? You don't work here anymore."
  • (Tom Tucker) "Well Diane, I have an exclusive story. And I -- can't figure out how to check my e-mail from home."
  • (Phil LaMarr) "Did you check your TCP/IP settings?"
  • (Tom Tucker) "Yes I did, Ollie."
  • (Phil LaMarr) "Enable cookies?"
  • (Tom Tucker) "Yes, Ollie."
  • (Phil LaMarr) "You want this dog?"
  • (Tom Tucker) "No thank you, Ollie."
  • (Lori Alan) "In other news, after several grueling days of frightening uncertainty, I finally get my period."
  • (Tom Tucker) "Well Diane, I'm sure you and your brother must be devastated by the loss of the two-headed offspring that might have been."

Jason Priestley as Brandon

  • (Jason Priestley) "Good luck, Stewie."
  • (Seth MacFarlane) "Good luck, Stewie. That's you. That's what you sound like."

René Auberjonois as Odo

  • (René Auberjonois) "I'm watching your every move, Quark, so don't think you can get away with any law-breaking."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Yeah, yeah, whatever, man."
  • (René Auberjonois) "I mean it. You'll have me to deal with."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Ohhhh, I'm really scared."
  • (René Auberjonois) "I could morph into a giant python and eat you alive."
  • (Mila Kunis) "Hey, here's an idea: why don't you morph into a guy with something interesting to talk about?"

Don LaFontaine as FOX Announcer

  • (Don LaFontaine) "Hey, Kool-Aid."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, yeah."
  • (Don LaFontaine) "Things going well with Drew?"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, yeah."
  • (Drew Barrymore) "We have so much fun and he keeps my tongue really red --"
  • (Drew Barrymore) "See."

Kevin Michael Richardson as Ray Charles

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