Stress Relief (The Office) Quotes

Stress Relief (The Office) is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Stress Relief stopped airing in 1970.

Stress Relief (The Office) Quotes

• (Michael Scott) "And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do."

• (Kevin Malone) "Call it."

• (Pam Beesly) "We don't normally download movies illegally because we're honest, hardworking people."
• (Jim Halpert) "And we don't know how."
• (Pam Beesly) "But Andy does, so we have to watch it with him."
• (Jim Halpert) "Punishment fits the crime."

• (Dwight Schrute) "It's very unusual for Michael not to show up to work. My guess, he's either deeply depressed or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain. He has this terrible habit of standing directly underneath them and staring up at them. And I always say, "Michael, take two steps back and stare at the icicle from the side." And he's like, "No, I like the way they look from standing directly underneath them." It was only a matter of time."

• (Andy Bernard) "I'm not insightful enough to be a movie critic. Maybe I could be a food critic. "These muffins taste bad." Or an art critic. "That painting is bad.""

• (Michael Scott) "Oscar, would you reach over and touch his thing? That's what he said. Right, guys? Because of gay."

• (Michael Scott) "Stanley. Stanley. You will not die. Stanley. Stanley. Barack is President. You are black, Stanley."

• (Oscar Martinez) "I consider myself a good person, but I'm gonna try to make him cry."

• (Michael Scott) "My God, if you're wearing a dress, please keep your knees together, nobody wants to see that."

• (Dwight Schrute) "I state my regret."
• (Jim Halpert) "You couldn't have memorized that?"

• (Michael Scott) "And I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you people."
• (Pam Beesly) "What?"
• (Michael Scott) "Well, I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget."
• (Michael Scott) "Jim, you're 6'11", and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela, where's Angela? Well, there you are. I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted."
• (Michael Scott) "Oscar, you are --"
• (Michael Scott) "Oscar, you're gay."
• (Oscar Martinez) "Wow."
• (Michael Scott) "Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck and you're gayer than Oscar. Boom. Roasted."

• (Michael Scott) "Dwight. We are not mad, we are just disappointed."
• (David Wallace) "No, we are mad."
• (Michael Scott) "Yes, we are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide."
• (Dwight Schrute) "Thank you."
• (David Wallace) "No, we're not."
• (Michael Scott) "I am not a mind reader, David."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.