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Suddenly Susan Quotes

Suddenly Susan is a TV show that first aired in 1996 on NBC. Suddenly Susan stopped airing in 2000.

Suddenly Susan lasted 4 seasons and 93 episodes. It features Ed Alton as composer. Suddenly Susan is executive produced by Gary Dontzig. Suddenly Susan is created by Clyde Phillips (screenwriter).

Suddenly Susan is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Suddenly Susan is 23 minutes long. Suddenly Susan is produced by Warner Bros. Television and distributed by Warner Bros. Television Distribution.

The cast includes: Brooke Shields as Susan, Kathy Griffin as Vicki, Andrea Bendewald as Maddy, David Strickland as Todd, Nestor Carbonell as Luis, Judd Nelson as Jack, Nestor Carbonell as Oliver, Sherri Shepherd as Miranda, Eric Idle as Ian, and Eric Idle as Tony.

Suddenly Susan Quotes

Sherri Shepherd as Miranda

  • (Sherri Shepherd) "Goodbye baby Jesus. Goodbye Mary. Goodbye football player. Hey. Who put a football player in my nativity scene?"
  • (Unnamed) "That was me. Sorry, I accidentally broke one of your wise men."
  • (Sherri Shepherd) "You broke my wise man and replaced him with an action figure?"
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, that's Torell Davis."
  • (Sherri Shepherd) "That's Torell Davis? You better move over baby Jesus."

Nestor Carbonell as Luis

  • (Nestor Carbonell) "Why did you say you agreed if you weren't going to listen to what I said?"
  • (Brooke Shields) "Because usually, you think what I think. That's what couples do. That's what we did. Until you invited half of San Francisco for six pieces of fish."
  • (Nestor Carbonell) "Susan, where's your paper punch?"
  • (Brooke Shields) "Why don't you ask Vicki, she's been helping herself to a lot of my things lately."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "Tell the paranoid tall girl I didn't take her paper punch. It threw itself at me."
  • (Nestor Carbonell) "You didn't even know this guy. He could have been an axe murderer or anything."
  • (Brooke Shields) "No, I asked him first."
  • (Nestor Carbonell) "Are you saying that it's my fault that I'm sick?"
  • (Andrea Bendewald) "Well, it certainly isn't mine."
  • (Nestor Carbonell) "Sweet mother."
  • (Nestor Carbonell) "Now let's not forget who's fault this really is. Damn you Oliver Browne. And the Range Rover you drove up in. Why don't you take some more beautiful pictures, ruin some more lives."

Brooke Shields as Susan

  • (Brooke Shields) "I'm just a little concerned with what seems to be your growing obsession with my Nana."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "That's ridiculous. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run down to Market Street. Helen should be on the number 20 bus and I want to be there to wave as she goes by."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Sure, it's all fun and games until somebody needs a restraining order."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Someone just faxed us their eighty five year old butt."
  • (Unnamed) "There's a rumor going around the building that you're having a costume party."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Mrs Fong, how can there be a rumor going around the building when it's just you and I that live here?"
  • (Unnamed) "Okay, let me rephrase that. I put this against the door and heard you on the phone."
  • (Brooke Shields) "I'm Susan Keane-Champion of the poor, the young, the elderly, the small business owners, the vegetarians, the meat eaters alike. All the people of this great city and I'm here to tell you that NOBODY KICKS MY ASS."
  • (Unnamed) "God, that moon is huge."
  • (Brooke Shields) "You can see the moon through the fog?"
  • (Unnamed) "No, I'm talking about the guy flashing me from across the street."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Hi, I'm Susan Keane. Suddenly Susan."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, you're the one banging the boss."
  • (Brooke Shields) "It's career day at my old junior high. You're more than welcome to come."
  • (Andrea Bendewald) "Mmmmm -- No thanks, I already have a career."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "Yeah -- office hag."
  • (Andrea Bendewald) "Vicki, I could responds to your childish remark by mentioning that your hair would embarrass a troll doll but I'm not going to sink to your level."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "Hag."
  • (Andrea Bendewald) "Freak."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "Skank."
  • (Andrea Bendewald) "Get a hat."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Woah. I think I'm gonna need a coffee so I can deal with that jacket."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "Sure. I'll just get your hurtful bitch mug."
  • (Brooke Shields) "I was over Jack way before he was over me and now he's moving on first? It's wrong, it's just wrong."
  • (Andrea Bendewald) "I'll tell you what's wrong. Your lips are moving and sounds coming out."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Oh come on, don't you just love this song?"
  • (Unnamed) "Turn that crap down."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Pull your pants up."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Vicki, have you seen my car keys?"
  • (Kathy Griffin) "No and you don't need to look in your purse or your jacket either."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "I needed a mint."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Well I hope you found one."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "No, but at least you had enough money to buy some."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Of course I want to have kids. Everyone does."
  • (Nestor Carbonell) "No, no, not everyone --"
  • (Brooke Shields) "Well, normal people. Normal people who haven't run off and gotten themselves neutered."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Wow, apologizing really makes me hungry, can I have some of this bacon?"
  • (Kathy Griffin) "Sure."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Mmm, this is great. Who orders chocolate pudding and bacon?"
  • (Kathy Griffin) "I ordered the pudding. The bacon was here when I sat down."
  • (Brooke Shields) "We don't need men to have a good time. We need men to take their clothes off."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Guys, I'm having a craving."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "You're not having a craving, you're a pig."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Maddy, we are all here to talk to you about what's been going on lately."
  • (Andrea Bendewald) "Okay, what's been going on lately?"
  • (Kathy Griffin) "Don't play dumb with us you lush, we're here about the booze."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Hey, I don't need Oliver. There are a lot of gorgeous guys in San Francisco."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "Yeah, but they're all dating each other."

Judd Nelson as Jack

  • (Judd Nelson) "Let's see --"
  • (Brooke Shields) "You flip that coin, I'll kick your ass."

Eric Idle as Ian

  • (Eric Idle) "Vicki she's a laugh, she's a cut above the staff, she writes a column like a two bit hack. I suggest a new career, perhaps a job in Sears, but she earn more money lying on her back."
  • (Ian, Nate, Miranda and Luis) "On her back."
  • (Eric Idle) "For the benefit of Miss Keane, what are we selling here?"
  • (Unnamed) "Sex."
  • (Eric Idle) "And who are we selling it to?"
  • (Unnamed) "Men."
  • (Eric Idle) "And why are we selling it?"
  • (Unnamed) "'Cause men like sex."

Andrea Bendewald as Maddy

  • (Andrea Bendewald) "Are you aware that we are out of legal sized writing pads? We only have letter sized. I can't work like this."
  • (Andrea Bendewald) "Oh, come on Luis. We live in a universe with certain natural laws. The earth revolves around the sun. Red Sox never win the series and I always reject you."

Kathy Griffin as Vicki

  • (Kathy Griffin) "Hmm -- a whole bagel when you usually scoop out the middle. Coffee, when you normally drink tea. This only adds up to one thing, you're having sex."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "Fine. I think I can get my own dry cleaning Polly. I don't need your help."
  • (Nestor Carbonell) "Yeah. We're better people 'cause we butter our own bagels."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "I'm sorry, I didn't see the sign, "Welcome to Susanville, population: 1 insane bitch."
  • (Unnamed) "Vicki, you seem upset, is there something wrong?"
  • (Kathy Griffin) "Yeah, you. You're cheap, you eat the tops off the muffins, you stink up the place and you're ugly."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "This just in from my ears: "OUCH.""
  • (Girl in audience) "So, do you need a college degree to work in a magazine?"
  • (Kathy Griffin) "No, not if you're sleeping with the boss."
  • (Brooke Shields) "Excuse me."
  • (Nestor Carbonell) "No, don't excuse it Vicki."
  • (Judd Nelson) "Oh, shut up Luis."
  • (Nestor Carbonell) "No, you shut up."
  • (Judd Nelson) "You shut up."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "You shut up."
  • (David Strickland) "You shut up."
  • (Kathy Griffin) "I'm on your side."
  • (Boy in audience) "yeah, I'm confused -- which one of you is sleeping with the boss?"

David Strickland as Todd

  • (David Strickland) "I don't want to sit at this desk for the rest of my life trashing bands. I want some other bitter wannabe trashing me."
  • (David Strickland) "Apparently me getting stung by a bee and almost dying isn't newsworthy."
  • (Andrea Bendewald) "No, but the fact that you're able to read at all certainly is."
  • (David Strickland) "Maddy? Was the antichrist unavailable?"
  • (David Strickland) "Ok, if you are going to stay here, let's get some ground rules straight. No parties, no drugs, no surprise guests. I don't want the narcs kicking in the door like they did at my 6th birthday party."
  • (David Strickland) "When are you going to grow up? I don't want the twins keeping their money in a piggy bong the way that I did."

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