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The Adventures of Baron Munchausen Quotes

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . The Adventures of Baron Munchausen ended in 1970.

It features Thomas Schühly as producer, Michael Kamen in charge of musical score, and Giuseppe Rotunno as head of cinematography.

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom, United States, and Germany. Each episode of The Adventures of Baron Munchausen is 126 minutes long. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Peter Jeffrey as Sultan, John Neville as Baron Munchausen, Ray Cooper as Functionary, Eric Idle as Berthold, Sarah Polley as Sally, Valentina Cortese as Queen Ariadne, Oliver Reed as Vulcan, Uma Thurman as Venus, and Bill Paterson as Henry Salt.

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen Quotes

John Neville as Baron Munchausen

  • (John Neville) "They're inviting us to defeat them. We must oblige them."
  • (John Neville) "Where exactly is Roger?"
  • (Valentina Cortese) "In bed, with my body, of course. OH."
  • (Valentina Cortese) "Stop it. Stop it."
  • (Valentina Cortese) "If he discovers my head's with you; ooh. Quickly, quickly. Quickly. Climb into my hair."
  • (Sarah Polley) "Why is she making those funny noises?"
  • (John Neville) "Um, her body is with the King, and he is, uh -- tickling her feet."
  • (John Neville) "You horrible little brat. Can't you let me die in peace once in a while?"
  • (John Neville) "And that was only one of the many occasions on which I met my death, an experience which I don't hesitate strongly to recommend."
  • (John Neville) "So, Mr. Jackson, still the rational man? How many people have perished in your logical little war?"
  • (Horatio Jackson) "There are rules in life. We cannot fly to the moon. We cannot defy death. We must face facts, not folly. You don't live in the real world."
  • (John Neville) "What's this?"
  • (Oliver Reed) "Oh, this is our prototype. RX, uh, Intercontinental, radar-sneaky, multi-warheaded nuclear missile."
  • (John Neville) "Ah. What does it do?"
  • (Oliver Reed) "Do? Kills the enemy."
  • (John Neville) "All the enemy?"
  • (Oliver Reed) "Aye, all of them. All their wives, and all their children, and all their sheep, and all their cattle, and all their cats and dogs. All of them. All of them gone for good."
  • (Sarah Polley) "That's horrible."
  • (Oliver Reed) "Ahh. Well, you see, the advantage is you don't have to see one single one of them die. You just sit comfortably thousands of miles away from the battlefield and simply press the button."
  • (Eric Idle) "Well, where's the fun in that?"
  • (John Neville) "Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever."
  • (John Neville) "Berthold."
  • (Desmond) "The name's Desmond, mate. We're actors, not figments of your imagination. Now get a grip."
  • (John Neville) "Everyone who had a talent for it lived happily ever after."
  • (John Neville) "Berthold, come on."
  • (Eric Idle) "Let go of me."
  • (John Neville) "You're coming with us."
  • (Eric Idle) "No chance."
  • (John Neville) "Why not?"
  • (Eric Idle) "I can't remember."
  • (John Neville) "You're not frightened, are you?"
  • (Eric Idle) "That's it."
  • (John Neville) "Gentlemen. Don't you think it would be a good idea to silence those enemy cannons?"
  • (Gunner) "No, sir."
  • (John Neville) "No?"
  • (Gunner) "It's Wednesday."
  • (John Neville) "You do believe me, don't you?"
  • (Sarah Polley) "I'm doing my best."
  • (John Neville) "The Sultan is going to cut off my head."
  • (Adolphus) "And?"
  • (John Neville) ""And?"."
  • (Adolphus) "Is that all? Well, I'm sorry. I don't find that funny. DO you find that funny?"
  • (John Neville) "I want you to come and help us fight the Turk again."
  • (Albrecht) "Oh no, I couldn't do that. No. Not since I found myself. No, now I really know it, I never really wanted to be big, and strong and lug heavy things about. No. Now I know, I want to be dainty and sensitive. They call me 'The Midgett' down here. I love it. It's bliss."
  • (Eric Idle) "He's gone funny."
  • (John Neville) "Abandon ship."
  • (Eric Idle) "I think the ship's abandoning us."

Peter Jeffrey as Sultan

  • (Peter Jeffrey) "Have you any famous last words?"
  • (John Neville) "Not yet."
  • (Peter Jeffrey) ""Not yet"? Is that famous?"
  • (Peter Jeffrey) "What about the virgins?"
  • (Horatio Jackson) "Please, forget the virgins. We're out of virgins."
  • (Horatio Jackson) "We've discussed it. You surrender."
  • (Peter Jeffrey) "But, we're winning."
  • (Horatio Jackson) "We surrendered last time. Now, it's your turn."
  • (Peter Jeffrey) "But we're winning."
  • (Horatio Jackson) "We surrendered last time. It's your turn."
  • (Peter Jeffrey) "What about the virgins?"
  • (Horatio Jackson) "Oh, please forget about the virgins. We're fresh out of virgins."

Sarah Polley as Sally

  • (Sarah Polley) "Where's the fun in that?"
  • (Oliver Reed) "Oh, we cater for all types here. You'd be surprised."
  • (Sarah Polley) "The Baron's kissing your wife."
  • (Sarah Polley) "It wasn't just a story, was it?"
  • (Sarah Polley) "Where's my brother?"
  • (Bill Paterson) "You don't have a brother."
  • (Sarah Polley) "It says "And son". I'm your daughter."
  • (Bill Paterson) "I should never have taught you to read. "And son" is traditional."
  • (Sarah Polley) "'One of the King's favourites'."
  • (John Neville) "This cage isn't real, just part of the King's lunacy."
  • (Sarah Polley) "Seems solid enough to me."
  • (John Neville) "I see we're in a not-very-helpful frame of mind --"
  • (Sarah Polley) "You look different, younger."
  • (John Neville) "I always feel rejuvenated by a touch of adventure. For heaven's sake, don't you get any younger or I'll have to find a wet nurse."

Valentina Cortese as Queen Ariadne

  • (Valentina Cortese) "Here, take a lock of my hair."
  • (Eric Idle) "Just a lock, cocky, not the whole carpet."

Uma Thurman as Venus

  • (Uma Thurman) "You never let me have any friends."
  • (Oliver Reed) "I'll not have you wiggling at philanderers, you floozy."
  • (Uma Thurman) "I am a goddess. I can do what I like."
  • (Oliver Reed) "And I am The God, so shut up."

Oliver Reed as Vulcan

  • (Oliver Reed) "Come and see the ballroom. Come and see -- the ballroom."
  • (Oliver Reed) "NICE, ISN'T IT?"

Bill Paterson as Henry Salt

  • (Bill Paterson) "Nothing so deadens a man as ignorant numbness and conformity. Grasp the nettle."

Eric Idle as Berthold

  • (Eric Idle) "I spy with my little eye something beginning with "M"."
  • (Albrecht) "It's a demon of the deep."
  • (Eric Idle) "That begins with "D" you klutz."

Ray Cooper as Functionary

  • (Horatio Jackson) "Ah, the officer who risked his life by singlehandedly destroying --"
  • (Ray Cooper) "Six."
  • (Horatio Jackson) "Six enemy cannon and rescuing --"
  • (Ray Cooper) "Ten."
  • (Horatio Jackson) "Ten of our men held captive by The Turk."
  • (Heroic Officer) "Yes, sir."
  • (Horatio Jackson) "The officer about whom we've heard so much."
  • (Heroic Officer) "I suppose so, sir."
  • (Horatio Jackson) "Always taking risks far beyond the call of duty."
  • (Heroic Officer) "I only did my best, sir."
  • (Horatio Jackson) "Have him executed at once."
  • (Unnamed) "Yes, sir. Come along."
  • (Horatio Jackson) "This sort of behavior is demoralizing for the ordinary soldiers and citizens who are trying to lead normal, simple, unexceptional lives. I think things are difficult enough as it is without these emotional people rocking the boat."

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