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The Apprentice (U.S. TV series) Quotes

The Apprentice is a Reality competition that first aired in 2004 on NBC. The Apprentice ended in 2017.

The Apprentice lasted 15 seasons and 192 episodes. It features Mark Burnett as producer, and Kenneth Gamble, Leon Huff, and Anthony Jackson as theme composer. The Apprentice is created by Mark Burnett.

Each episode of The Apprentice is 60 minutes (seasons 1-7, 10) long. The Apprentice is produced by Trump Productions and distributed by FremantleMedia Enterprises.

The Apprentice Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "Omarosa has a huge chip on her shoulder. She felt that she was superior to the other people. She's very smart, but I think her attitude was terrible."
  • (Unnamed) "For someone who is supposed to be such a successful salesman, Nick had absolutely no rapport with any of his customers."
  • (Unnamed) "This is showtime. This is what I do for a living. This is my knitting, if you will. I sell things. I'm phenomenal at it. Ereka, Bill, Katrina and most of the people have underestimated me -- I said, "Hop on this back, I'm taking us to the promised land.""
  • (Unnamed) "Do you think Heidi is good, or average?"
  • (Unnamed) "I think Heidi's good. I think she's a good salesperson, absolutely."
  • (Unnamed) "Do you think she's a good leader?"
  • (Unnamed) "I think Heidi's a good salesperson."
  • (Unnamed) "No matter what kind of relationship I have with someone, if they're one day late on the rent, I start the eviction process, because that affects my cash flow."
  • (Unnamed) "See, I might have to evict you, very early. I don't know. You also have to have heart. You know, we need heart in this business."
  • (Unnamed) "-- I am the one that secured a general contractor to do our work. Me. Me. In fact, I have a business plan. Would you like to see it?"
  • (Unnamed) "No."
  • (Unnamed) "Wow. That's awful. That's getting creamed."
  • (Unnamed) "Um, it's bottled thousands of miles away from civilization, up in the --"
  • (Nightclub Owner) "Okay, this is a nightclub. It's not rocket science. It's just water."
  • (Unnamed) "Is that woman on woman? That's tough stuff, right?"
  • (Unnamed) "We were lookin' up the ass of a dead dog with fleas if we thought we were gonna go up against them."
  • (Unnamed) "You have some serious bling on your hands. What's going on there?"
  • (Unnamed) "A country innocent boy who doesn't know how to dress? I mean, I was a virgin on prom night to those kids."
  • (Unnamed) "Now, Sam, it seemed to be unanimous that; I really don't even think it's a lack of leadership -"
  • (Unnamed) "Sit down."
  • (Unnamed) "Thank you, Mr. Trump."
  • (Unnamed) "It took me to the most beautiful woman in the world, aside from my wife: the Statue of Liberty."
  • (Unnamed) "I never knew you were so short."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, Nick. You could have kids that look like him. He's the spitting image of my little brother."
  • (Unnamed) "Troy's from Idaho, so he's got that whole kind of Southern charm thing going on."
  • (Unnamed) "It's a little bit like: watch somebody sell their used car and not wash it. You can spend $10 washing the car and get another $200 for the car. And I've seen guys, they're selling cars that are dirty, and I say, "That guy is a loser.""
  • (Unnamed) "-- Nick's a guy who oftentimes will jump out of the plane without learning how to operate the parachute."
  • (Unnamed) "I'll see you back in the boardroom. Somebody will be fired."
  • (Unnamed) "Come on, help a redhead out, man. Here's to the happy couple. She needs a drink, man. Bring her upstairs for some specials."
  • (Male passerby) "She's my sister."
  • (Unnamed) "Uh-oh."
  • (Male passerby) "I'm not a redneck."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm not a chicken. I'm a leader."
  • (Unnamed) "Heidi, what do you think?"
  • (Unnamed) "Honestly, I think Omarosa and I should go out for a nice two-hour lunch to discuss it."
  • (Unnamed) "See the way they're kissing your ass already? That's what happens when you're a boss."
  • (Charles Reiss) "Amy kind of reminded me of a Stepford wife."
  • (Unnamed) "I am a good person."
  • (Unnamed) "This is a picture of my mother in her last years. This is my father in his prime."
  • (Unnamed) "I kind of feel like an adult film actor getting' ready to get prepped. I mean, I almost feel like I'm goin' in for a rub and a tug, and it's kind of makin' me a little nervous."
  • (Unnamed) "I have a bad haircut."
  • (Unnamed) "Troy was wearing a suit earlier in the day. When he decided we were all gonna have fun, he basically said, you know, "I'm gonna put on my cowboy hat." And like Superman, he got in the booth and changed. He was no longer Clark Kent. He became Troy, the Cosmic Cowboy."
  • (Unnamed) "You haven't helped me at all. Get out."
  • (Unnamed) "At that point, I just had this pit in my stomach, thinking, "We're gonna lose.""
  • (Unnamed) "How many times do you get to see gay guys bowling?"
  • (Unnamed) "I'd like an exotic trip for four with you and Joy and maybe another couple, and then if they can --"
  • (Unnamed) "Now let me get this straight: I gotta go to the far ends of the earth?"
  • (Unnamed) "Two nights, then."
  • (Unnamed) "But where are we going for two nights?"
  • (Unnamed) "Your favorite destination. You and a guest will go with Joy and Phil; uh, Regis --"
  • (Unnamed) "Who's Phil? Is Phil Donahue coming with us?"
  • (Unnamed) "I take solace in the fact that I have a higher IQ than the other fifteen contestants, which just goes to show you that there's little correlation between IQ and success in lemonade sales."
  • (Unnamed) "You're Hired."
  • (Unnamed) "Essentially, um, we introduced her to a piece called "The Hollowed p*****"."
  • (Meghan Boody (artist)) "I actually photographed this at a taxidermist studio in Paris. It's not quite clear if this is an undead kitty or not."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, we've had some disasters, but this is the worst."
  • (Fitz Daniel Tabbas Tepper) "Let me give you advice in life: Don't sell when it's already sold."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm sorry."
  • (Unnamed) "Shut up. I don't even want to hear it, Jen."
  • (Unnamed) "Omarosa, I didn't call for you yet."
  • (Meghan Boody (artist)) "This is a series called Psyche and Smut, and it's about a young girl, Psyche, and her twin sister, Smut. And Psyche is this very prim and proper pinafore little girl, and Smut is this rather aberrant, naughty little girl. And by the way, the city's ruled by frogs and their concubines."
  • (Unnamed) "Who chose this stupid concept; of the three?"
  • (Unnamed) "Just for the strength of the team, I'd like to see Heidi go. Plus, I'm tired of hearing her say that she'd rather sell Tampax than artwork. She's pretty much supporting my theory that she is the least classiest person in this game."
  • (Unnamed) "We knew that the golf club had a large spread, and we could negotiate. We also knew that the leg wax had a large spread."
  • (Unnamed) "Mr. Trump will see you now."
  • (Unnamed) "Again, her thought process is far beyond my comprehension. Just the little "induendos"; the snake in the grass over there. The skull of Henry VIII. I mean, she is amazing."
  • (Unnamed) "Nick and Amy, this is the weakest romance I've ever seen. This romance is pathetic."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, I think we just decided we were meant to be very close friends."
  • (Unnamed) "Very close friends. That's right."
  • (Unnamed) "Good. I've had some "very close friends"."
  • (Unnamed) "Me too. Me too."
  • (Unnamed) "It's cost me a lot of money, I'll tell you that."
  • (Unnamed) "Business is business; friends are friends. Don't use them in the same sentence."
  • (Unnamed) "Come on, it's supporting a great cause."
  • (Businessman) "What, Marquis Jet? That's a great cause?"
  • (Unnamed) "I think the mood in the house right now is mainly just shock. Everyone's kinda goin', "What the hell just happened? How did we lose that again?" -- Remember that time when your dog got run over when you were a little kid? That's how I feel right now. I feel like a pet was just killed."
  • (Unnamed) "Gentlemen, please direct your attention to the 2003 -- I can't really beat a tiger."
  • (Unnamed) "That was a tough one."
  • (Unnamed) "I didn't think so tough."
  • (Unnamed) "Happy Hour prices, still at Planet Hollywood --"
  • (Unnamed) "This is stupid."
  • (Unnamed) "Sometimes, those of us who end up winning win more than just a loss."
  • (Unnamed) "What is the "f-bomb"?"
  • (Unnamed) "I'm in this team no matter what. Let's make this vegetable porno the best vegetable porno we can possibly make; with a gay twist."
  • (Unnamed) "What about getting costumes? -- We could all dress up in different Disney characters or whatever it is, and -- it's a shtick."
  • (Unnamed) "I told you: Ben Affleck, Sharon Stone."
  • (Unnamed) "Whoa. That's the end of that marriage."
  • (Unnamed) "So as a reward, you have 10 minutes with me. You know, a lot of people would like that opportunity, so take advantage of it."
  • (Unnamed) "You think you and Amy might someday live in a place like that together, as man and wife?"
  • (Unnamed) "I told him he'd better start selling lots of copiers."
  • (Unnamed) "Now, everybody assumed that I was gonna be picking a really beautiful woman, like Amy. And, hey, I'm stuck with two guys."
  • (Unnamed) "Omarosa, go out and sell paintings or whatever the hell you're doing. I don't like excuses."
  • (Unnamed) ""My head. I wanna eat.""
  • (Unnamed) ""Dude, it's my head, and if I don't get some catered service pretty quick, I'm callin' the President.""
  • (Unnamed) "Isaac's last name?"
  • (Unnamed) "Mizrahi."
  • (Unnamed) "Yes. I see you learned that a little too late."
  • (Unnamed) "I want access to Trump."
  • (Unnamed) "Did you think Jessica was very beautiful?"
  • (Unnamed) "She's a pretty girl."
  • (Unnamed) "Pretty, or beautiful? I thought she was beautiful --"
  • (Unnamed) "She's beautiful. Come on."
  • (Unnamed) "A beautiful girl. We can all agree on that."
  • (Unnamed) "George, I'm not asking you. What the hell do I have to hear about you for? I don't need to hear your answers."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm starting to think that I may never hire a man again."
  • (Unnamed) "Ooh, she's mad as a wet hen."
  • (Unnamed) "She's not on the same page -- I mean, not only is she not on the same page, she's not reading from the same book."
  • (Unnamed) "People love the beauty of the building, and they love the location of the building. And I think they like Trump."
  • (Unnamed) "If she slings mud in this direction, that won't be a good move. I'll ask her leading questions that she has to answer, and she'll effectively self-implode; she'll be destroyed."
  • (Unnamed) "-- I'm a big, big connoisseur of waters."
  • (Unnamed) "At least now, in this wind, people are gonna realize I have my own hair. They always say, "Trump; does he wear a wig?" I say, "I have my own hair." At least they'll see it now in the wind."
  • (Unnamed) "You got hit in the head with a little piece of plaster that; by the way, all my life I've been hit on the head with plaster; Omarosa, I mean, you know, give me a break."
  • (Unnamed) "Someone asks me who I was, I say, "I'm Kwame Jackson from Charlotte, North Carolina.""
  • (Unnamed) "How would you explain to the little boy whose father makes five dollars an hour? His father had to work two hours to get that ball."
  • (Unnamed) "I didn't sell the kid crack."
  • (Unnamed) "This is my first Garbage Dump Dive."
  • (Unnamed) ""I like my Poland Spring.""
  • (Unnamed) "Absolutely. I understand you like that Poland Stream, but now, you're involved with a product that's not from Poland. You're involved with a product that's from New York."
  • (Unnamed) "The way I come in is big energy, charisma; I'm gabbing up a storm before --"
  • (Unnamed) "If you say so yourself."
  • (Unnamed) "What's that?"
  • (Unnamed) "What makes you think you have charisma?"
  • (Unnamed) "I think I do. I think I bring a certain energy to a place."
  • (Unnamed) "So, you know Tiger Woods? I know you've played with him before. I mean, could you guys get, like, a round together and maybe fill it out with another couple?"
  • (Unnamed) "You; what have you been drinkin' tonight?"
  • (Unnamed) "What are you talkin' about?"
  • (Unnamed) "That's shooting high."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah?"
  • (Unnamed) "Um, I can't get Tiger Woods these days to do my own talk show, not to mention play golf."
  • (Unnamed) "But he loves golf, and so do you, so you can go out and have some fun."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, I know, it sounds simple, but he's, uh, he's very busy -- Let's shelve the golf thing for a minute. Is there another sort of -- thing that you might have thought of that I could offer?"
  • (Unnamed) "Like flying away with you somewhere for a romantic weekend?"
  • (Unnamed) "Boy, you are really shooting for the fence, aren't you? I can't even do that on my own time. Not to mention with a perfect stranger."
  • (Unnamed) "Really? Get a life."
  • (Unnamed) "-- How 'bout, like; going back to the golf thing for just a second; like, a celebrity and you, so we don't know who this other celebrity is yet."
  • (Unnamed) "Let's stick to this Z100 thing. I think that's a good idea."
  • (Unnamed) "That is like calling the kettle black."
  • (Unnamed) "See, there you go with your racist terms. What was that you said about black people?"
  • (Unnamed) "George, what do you have?"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, boy. I got a lot. First of all, from what's gone on up until now, I was really surprised how little you had learned."
  • (Unnamed) "In my senior year of medical school, I was like, "What can I do with an M. D. besides treat patients? ""
  • (Unnamed) "She's trying to tell me how to sell. It's absurd. It's like trying to tell the Pope how to pray."
  • (Unnamed) "That's a big stretch."
  • (Unnamed) "No, it's not a big stretch for me, Mr. Trump, because I learn fast, I learn --"
  • (Unnamed) "You don't believe in the genetic pool?"
  • (Unnamed) "Excuse me?"
  • (Unnamed) "That what you have, you have."
  • (Unnamed) "I've got genetic pool big time, Mr. Trump."
  • (Unnamed) "The Ice Queen is dead."
  • (Unnamed) "What about Kwame? Do you love Kwame?"
  • (Unnamed) "He does. He does. He's in love with him."
  • (Unnamed) "I mean, everyone hates you, everyone --"
  • (Unnamed) "I don't think they hate me."
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, pretty close."
  • (Unnamed) "Okay."
  • (Unnamed) "She got emotional and attacked me personally --"
  • (Unnamed) "I got emotional? Did I cry, Troy? Look at me in the eyes. Did I cry? -- Did I get stern with you? Yes. There's a difference. Get it right."
  • (Unnamed) "Do you want a man-drink, McClain, or do you want a girl-drink?"
  • (Unnamed) "Man me up."
  • (Unnamed) "David, if you were the team leader, do you think the result would have been different?"
  • (Unnamed) "Not in this case, because sales is not my forte."
  • (Unnamed) "Mr. Trump, I would have fired her, and I would have liked it."
  • (Unnamed) "This is some pimped-out rap video s***."
  • (Unnamed) "It could be they're in love, but we'll find out on that plane. But they better not use my bedroom."
  • (Unnamed) "If this match doesn't work, I'd be amazed."
  • (Unnamed) "Women, great job. As a little treat, you're gonna see the nicest apartment in New York City. It's my apartment. So you be up there, one o'clock at my apartment. Guys, they killed you. They really gave you a good beating. So you're not gonna be seeing my apartment."
  • (Unnamed) "I show this apartment to very few people. Presidents, Kings -- and they walk in, they look around, and they really can't believe what they're seeing."
  • (Unnamed) "If you tell me I'm coming close, I will stop. And if you have to punch me in the stomach and tell me to sit down and shut up, I'll shut up. And I'll learn, Mr. Trump."
  • (Unnamed) "You're very cold. You're a cold-hearted person."
  • (Unnamed) "I don't really take anything that Heidi says to heart at all. I mean, look at the source."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm a little annoyed she didn't shake Bill's hand. Me; I don't care. But Bill's a nice guy."
  • (Unnamed) "There's a bedroom in there, dude. You better put that to use. You got this beautiful girl all over you and you're not doing anything? They're gonna think you're a little sweet, you know what I mean? Not that there's anything wrong with that."
  • (Unnamed) "The possibility is still there that I could be ousted like yesterday's newspaper."
  • (Unnamed) "You're entitled to your opinion --"
  • (Unnamed) "Of course I am, but it's obviously our opinion that matters."
  • (Unnamed) "Be the country kid. Be the hat."
  • (Unnamed) "-- I would say that I thought that you guys wanted an explanation, and I went ahead and gave an explanation --"
  • (Unnamed) "It was a long, boring explanation, and I didn't wanna hear it."
  • (Unnamed) "Mr. Trump came in yesterday to the suite where I'm staying, and he shook my hand. Basically, I think now that I've been fired, I realize he was saying, "Win this, Sam. Win this. Because if you win this, I believe in you. I believe in you, I believe in you. But if you lose this, there's no way I can keep you on. You've shown me in so many different ways that there's just no way I can keep you on. ""
  • (Unnamed) "Well, Heidi speaks her mind, but what's on her mind isn't always that appealing."
  • (Unnamed) "Nick, I don't know why you think you're such a great salesman. Your performance was terrible."
  • (Unnamed) "It's convenient for you to use me when my looks take our --"
  • (Unnamed) "Wait a minute, "it's convenient?" You don't use that yourself? Are you kidding me?"
  • (Unnamed) "When we were in the airport, that pilot looked at me, and I could tell he was disgusted."
  • (Unnamed) "We knew we could get a cheap leg wax in Chinatown."
  • (Unnamed) "I am the Zen master of presentations."
  • (Unnamed) "Kwame could take me, but if he does, I'm gonna have to eat my "brutha" up."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm giving you my word, that if you write me a check for a thousand dollars for that glass of lemonade, that you are going to experience the American dream."
  • (Unnamed) "I have no degree from no college."
  • (Unnamed) "People need to have more sex, because everyone is just so miserable."
  • (Unnamed) "Katrina, go back to the suite. Your girlfriend Ereka gave you a break -- Enjoy your evening, there's no place like Trump Tower."
  • (Unnamed) "You're Fired."
  • (Unnamed) "How did Heidi do?"
  • (Unnamed) "Heidi was fantastic. And I will tell you that I haven't always been a fan of Heidi. I haven't always thought that she was professional, nor does she have much class or finesse --"
  • (Unnamed) "That was very nice. This is one of the worst compliments I've ever heard."
  • (Unnamed) "It's your decision."
  • (Unnamed) "It is my decision."
  • (Unnamed) "This is called luxury. This is Trump Luxury."
  • (Unnamed) "You have your finance person and you have your team leader, and the money somewhere disappeared between the hand and the ass. Right?"
  • (Unnamed) "You know, there's huge hammering going on outside, folks. And you really have to get it stopped. Downstairs at Asprey. Just tell them to stop. It's good. That's a new tenant -- but in the meantime, we'll stop them from building."
  • (Unnamed) "We call her Lady Di. She looks like Lady Di to me."
  • (Unnamed) "When we first walked into Meghan's apartment, I was so excited. I mean, I thought her apartment was amazing. She seemed passionate. I mean, she seemed a little creepy --"
  • (Unnamed) "What do you think, Nick?"
  • (Unnamed) "We lost, and it stinks, and I'm tired of it."
  • (Unnamed) "Sammy's like Picasso. That guy is so far left field, but he paints this colorful, disturbing picture. You just gotta be able to interpret that picture."
  • (Unnamed) "It's time to do something drastic. Right now, we need to be hopping. We need to be poppin' like a frog on a hot plate."
  • (Unnamed) "The guy in the leisure suit obviously dances to the beat of a different drummer. Apparently, that drummer loves polyester."
  • (Unnamed) "May the best man win."
  • (Unnamed) "I think we already have."
  • (Unnamed) "I love you."
  • (George Steinbrenner) "I love you too."
  • (Unnamed) "You're a special guy."
  • (George Steinbrenner) "You're a special guy."
  • (Unnamed) "You ask Sam what time it is -- he tells you how to build a clock."
  • (Unnamed) "Hi, this is Robin from Mr. Trump's office. Mr. Trump would like you to meet him at Wollman Rink in 45 minutes."
  • (Unnamed) "Thanks, Helen. Bye-bye."
  • (Unnamed) "Bill, you sold me out."
  • (Unnamed) "Short-term memory."

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