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The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford Quotes

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford ended its run in 1970.

It features Ridley Scott, Jules Daly, Brad Pitt, Dede Gardner, and David Valdes as producer, Nick Cave, and Warren Ellis in charge of musical score, and Roger Deakins as head of cinematography.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is 160 minutes long. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Brad Pitt as Jesse James, Casey Affleck as Robert Ford, Garret Dillahunt as Ed Miller, Paul Schneider as Dick Liddil, Sam Rockwell as Charley Ford, Zooey Deschanel as Dorothy Evans, Sam Shepard as Frank James, Jeremy Renner as Wood Hite, Brad Pitt as Zee James, and Kailin See as Sarah Hite.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford Quotes

Casey Affleck as Robert Ford

  • (Casey Affleck) "Your brother Frank and I just had a real nice visit. Chit-chattin about this and that. There must have been a hundred subjects we entertained --"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Good lord, you know what this stew needs?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "-- dumplings?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Noodles. You get yourself some noodle stew, your clock'll tick all night."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You ever see that woman up in Fayette, can suck noodles up 'er nose? In Fayette?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "No. I don't believe I have."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Never heard of her? Huh? She got canals up there you never dreamed of."
  • (Casey Affleck) "I can't believe I woke up this morning wondering if my Daddy would loan me his overcoat, and here it is just past midnight and I've already robbed a railroad train and I'm sitting in a rocking chair chatting with none other than Jesse James."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Yeah, it's a wonderful world."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Oh, what's this? I was real agitated this morning, wondering if I'd be able to tell you and Frank apart. So I had the clipping that described you both. You want me to read it?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Go on."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Well, I gotta find -- here. 'Jesse James, the youngest, has a face as smooth and innocent as a schoolgirl. The blue eyes, very clear and penetrating, are never at rest. His form is tall and graceful and capable of great endurance and great effort. Jesse is lighthearted, reckless, and devil-may-care. There is always a smile on his lips-'"
  • (Brad Pitt) "All right, all right."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Well, yeah. Then it's 'Frank, Frank, Frank -- ' You know what I've got right next to my bed? The Train Robbers, or a story of the James Boys, by R.W. Stevens. Many's the night I've stayed up with my mouth opens and my eyes open, reading about your escapades in the Wide Awake Library."
  • (Brad Pitt) "They're all lies, you know."
  • (Casey Affleck) "'Course they are."
  • (Casey Affleck) "I've been a nobody all my life. I was the baby; I was the one they made promises to that they never kept. And ever since I can recall it, Jesse James has been as big as a tree. I'm prepared for this, Jim. And I'm going to accomplish it. I know I won't get but this one opportunity and you can bet your life I'm not going to spoil it."
  • (Casey Affleck) "How's that leg?"
  • (Paul Schneider) "Full of torment, Bob. Thanks for askin'."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Folks sometimes take me for a nincompoop on account of the shabby first impression I make, whereas I've always thought of myself as being just a rung down from the James Brothers. And I was hoping if I ran into you aside from those peckerwoods, I was hoping I could show you how special I am. I honestly believe I'm destined for great things, Mr. James. I've got qualities that don't come shining through right at the outset, but give me a chance and I'll get the job done- I can guarantee you that."
  • (Casey Affleck) "He's still suckin' air, but I think he's a goner."

Brad Pitt as Jesse James

  • (Brad Pitt) "You ever count the stars? I can't ever get the same number, they keep changin' on me."
  • (Garret Dillahunt) "I don't even know what a star is, exactly --"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Well, your body knows, it's your mind that forgot."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Don't that picture look dusty?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Give me some more conversations, Bob."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "I got one. This one's about as crackerjack."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Let Bob tell it."
  • (Casey Affleck) "I don't even know what you're talking about."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "About how much you and Jesse have in common."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Go on, Bob."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Tell a story."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Nope. Nope."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Entertain Jesse. He's here."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Well, if you'll pardon my saying so, I guess it is interesting, the many ways you and I overlap and whatnot. You begin with our Daddies. Your daddy was a pastor of the New Hope Baptist Church; my daddy was a pastor of a church at Excelsior Springs. Um. You're the youngest of the three James boys; I'm the youngest of the five Ford boys. Between Charley and me, is another brother, Wilbur here, with six letters in his name; between Frank and you was a brother, Robert, also with six letters. Robert is my Christian name. You have blue eyes; I have blue eyes. You're five feet eight inches tall. I'm five feet eight inches tall. Oh me, I must've had a list as long as your nightshirt when I was twelve, but I've lost some curiosities over the years."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Ain't he something?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "You ever consider suicide?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Can't say that I have. There was always something else I wanted to do. Or my predicaments changed or I saw my hardships from a different slant; you know all what can happen. It never seemed respectable."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I'll tell you one thing that's certain; you won't fight dying once you've peeked over to the other side; you'll no more want to go back to your body than you'd want to spoon up your own puke."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Since we're looking to rob banks, I was wondering if I could go as far as to recommend we add another feller to the gang and sort of see if we couldn't come out of our next job alive. Bob wanted to know could he ride with us next time we took on a savings bank or a-"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "A savings bank or-"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "A railroad."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Bob isn't much more than a boy to most appearances, but there's about two tons of sand in him and he'll stand with his shooter when that's what's called for. And he's smart too-he's about as intricate as they come."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You're forgetting that I've already met the kid."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "He surely thinks highly of you."
  • (Brad Pitt) "All American thinks highly of me."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Still. It's not like you've got two million names you can snatch out of a sock whenever you need a third man."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I can see you're trying to wear me down on this."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "That was my main intention."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I'll tell you one things that's for certain -- you won't minddying once you've peeked over the other side. You'll no more wanna go back to your body than -- you'd wanna soon up your own puke."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Yeah, just ain't no peace with old Jesse around. You ought to pity my poor wife."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Don't tell me what I can and can not do, Ed."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You know what John Newman Edwards once wrote about me? He said I didn't trust two men in ten thousand and was even cautious around them. The government's sort of run me ragged. I'm going the long way around the barn to say I've been feeling cornered and just plain ornery of late and I'd be pleased if you'd accept the gun as my way of apologizing."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Heaven knows I'd be ornerier if I were in your position."
  • (Brad Pitt) "No. I haven't been acting correctly. I can't hardly recognize myself sometimes when I'm greased. I go on journeys out of my body and look at my red hands and my mean face and I wonder about that man who's gone so wrong. I've been becoming a problem to myself."
  • (Brad Pitt) "My brother and me are hardly on speaking terms these days."
  • (Casey Affleck) "I wasn't going to mention it."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You scared?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "Just surprised a little."
  • (Brad Pitt) "They aren't as succulent as I like and they're the devil to clean but if a man skins them and fries them in garlic and oil-mercy, thems good eating."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Well, I've never been that hungry."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I give them names."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Such as?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Such as enemies. I give them the names of enemies."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Bob, have you done this?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "I swear to God that I didn't."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Did I ever mention that scalawag George Shepherd? George was one of Quantrill's lieutenants and he gave me a story like Bob's, is why I thought of him, giving me everything we had in common and so on, just so he could join the gang. How could I know he had a grudge against me and was lying to get on my good side? I said 'Come aboard, George. Glad to have ya,'. George thought he was smart. 'Cept he wasn't. He rode into camp one morning and about twenty guns opened up on him."
  • (Brad Pitt) "But he only had one eye- and you need two eyes to get Jesse."
  • (Casey Affleck) "You oughn't think of me like you do George Shepherd."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You brought him to mind."
  • (Casey Affleck) "It's not very flattering."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Sure is good eating, Martha."
  • (Martha Bolton) "Well, I'm so glad you enjoyed it."
  • (Casey Affleck) "How come George had a grudge against you?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Hmm?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "I said "How come George had a grudge against you?""
  • (Brad Pitt) "Oh. George asked me to protect this nephew of his during the war and it so happens the kid had five thousand dollars on him. The kid winds up killed, and all the money swiped from him, and when George was in prison someone whispers to him it was Jesse James slit the boy's throat."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Just mean gossip, was it?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Bob's the expert; let's put it to him."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Oh dear, I've made him cranky."
  • (Casey Affleck) "I'm not cranky. I've been through this before, is all. Once people get around to making fun of me, they just don't ever let up."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You know I'm real comfortable with your brother. Hell, he's ugly as sin and he smells like a skunk and he's so ignorant he couldn't drive nails in the snow, but he's sort of easy to be around. I can't say the same for you, Bob."
  • (Casey Affleck) "I'm sorry to hear you say that."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You know how it is when you're with your girlfriend and the moon is out and you know she wants to be kissed even though she never said so?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "Yeah."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You're giving me signs that grieve my soul and make me wonder if maybe your mind's been changed about me."
  • (Casey Affleck) "What do you want me to do? Swear my good faith on the Bible?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Go back to bed."
  • (Casey Affleck) "I got to use the privy."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You think you do, but you don't."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You're gonna break a lot of hearts."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Sit over here closer, Kid."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Charley, you'll stay with the animals. Me and The Kid will walk into the bank just before noon. Bob will move the cashier away from the shotgun that's under the counter and I'll creep up behind that cashier and cock his chin back like so --"
  • (Brad Pitt) "I'll say 'How come an off-scouring of creation like you is still sucking air when so many of mine are in coffins?' I'll say 'How'd you reach your twentieth birthday without leaking out all over your clothes?' And if I don't like his attitude, I'll slit that phildoodle so deep he'll flop on the floor like a fish."
  • (Brad Pitt) "My God, what just happened? I could hear your gears grinding- rrr,rrr,rrr-and your little motor wondering, 'My Gosh, what's next, what's happening to me?' You were precious to behold, Bob. You were white as spit in a cotton field."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Go away."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Used to be nobody could sneak up on Jesse James."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Now you think otherwise?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "I ain't never seen you without your guns, neither."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Can't figure it out: do you want to be like me or do you want to BE me?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "I'm just making fun is all."

Jeremy Renner as Wood Hite

  • (Jeremy Renner) "Oh, I'm a good old rebel, Now thats just what I am, And for this yankee nation, I do no give a damn. I'm glad I fought a ganner, I only wish we won. I aint asked any pardon for anything I've done. I hates the yankee nation and eveything they do. I hates the declaration of independence, too. I hates the glorious union, just dripping with our blood. I hates the striped banner, and fitted all I could."
  • (Jeremy Renner) "His philanderin' ways have instigated such malice. He's a yellow snake in the grass and can't be trusted."
  • (Wilbur Ford) "Dick told me a complete other version of that affair."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Wood Hite's downstairs."
  • (Jeremy Renner) "You mean he's here?"

Paul Schneider as Dick Liddil

  • (Paul Schneider) "Can you hand me that six-gun there, Bob?"
  • (Paul Schneider) "If you so much as mention my name to Jesse -- Boy, I'd find out about it. You had better believe that. And I'll look you up. I will knock on your door. And I will be as mad as a hornet. I will be hot."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Careful with that iron, Dick."
  • (Paul Schneider) "You know where I stand on these matters and that's all there is to it. Me and you can be as friendly as pigs from now on."
  • (Paul Schneider) "I guess we're the night-owls, you and I --"

Sam Rockwell as Charley Ford

  • (Sam Rockwell) "You think it's all made up don't ya? You think it's all yarns and newspaper stories."
  • (Casey Affleck) "He's just a human being."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Hey, Dick, you ever diddled a squaw?"
  • (Paul Schneider) "Shh --"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Come on, you can tell me. I've always wanted to lay down with a redskin."
  • (Paul Schneider) "Well, Charley, there's a feeling that comes over you gettin' inside a woman whose hands have scalped a congregation."
  • (Jeremy Renner) "There's a thunderous sound that comes from their cooch on account of the fact that they birth a child standing upright like a wild animal."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "What's it sound like?"
  • (Jeremy Renner) "Whatever a thunderous cooch sounds like, Charley. I don't know."
  • (Paul Schneider) "No, they got a noisy quim on account of the fact that they use their cunnies as a saddlebag to carry tundries across the planes."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Come on, what'd it really feel like? It feel good? Come on. Fess up, now."
  • (Paul Schneider) "I like you, Charley."
  • (Jeremy Renner) "I like you too, Charley."

Zooey Deschanel as Dorothy Evans

  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Why did you kill him?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "Well, he was gonna kill me."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "So you were scared and that's the only reason?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "Yeah. And the reward money."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Do you want me to change the subject?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "You know what I expected? Applause."
  • (Casey Affleck) "I was only 20 years old then. I couldn't see how it would look to people. I was surprised by what happened. They didn't applaud."

Sam Shepard as Frank James

  • (Sam Shepard) "You're not so special, Mr. Ford. You're just like any other tyro who's prinked himself up for an escapade, hoping to be a gunslinger like them nickel books are about. You may as well quench your mind of it, because you don't have the ingredients, son."
  • (Casey Affleck) "Well, I'm sorry to hear you feel that way, as I put such stock in your opinion. As for me being a gunslinger, I've just got this one granddaddy Paterson Colt and a borrowed belt to stick it in. But I also got an appetite for greater things. I hoped by joining up with you, it'd put me that much closer to getting them."
  • (Sam Shepard) "Well, what am I supposed to say to that?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "Let me be your sidekick tonight."
  • (Sam Shepard) "Sidekick?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "So you can examine my grit and intelligence."
  • (Sam Shepard) "I don't know what it is about you, but the more you talk, the more you give me the willies. Now I don't believe I want you anywhere within earshot this evening, okay? You understand?"
  • (Casey Affleck) "Well, I'm sorry --"
  • (Sam Shepard) "Why don't you just get, now? Scat."

Garret Dillahunt as Ed Miller

  • (Garret Dillahunt) "I was with a girl once. Wasn't a squaw, but she was purty. She had yellow hair, like uh -- oh, like something."
  • (Paul Schneider) "Like hair bobbed from a ray of sunlight?"
  • (Garret Dillahunt) "Yeah, yeah. Like that. Boy, you talk good."
  • (Paul Schneider) "You can hide things in vocabulary."
  • (Garret Dillahunt) "Maybe you and me could writer her a note, send it by post?"
  • (Paul Schneider) "See, all you gotta do, Ed, is predict her needs and beat her to the punch."
  • (Garret Dillahunt) "Well, this girl, she had a real specific job."
  • (Paul Schneider) "Specific?"
  • (Garret Dillahunt) "We's only together once. She's afraid of lightning. She came up into the wagon and just cuddled right up to me. She gave me a kind price, too."
  • (Paul Schneider) "Well I'll be. That is specific."
  • (Garret Dillahunt) "Yeah, sure, she been with other people. But the kinds of things she said to me, people just don't say unless they really mean it."
  • (Paul Schneider) ""My love said she would marry only me, and Jove himself could not make her care, for what women say to lovers, you'll agree, one writes on running water, or on air.""
  • (Garret Dillahunt) "My God that's good. Let's write her that."
  • (Paul Schneider) "Naw. Poetry don't work on whores."

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