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The Bernie Mac Show Quotes

The Bernie Mac Show is a TV show that first aired in 2001 on Fox Broadcasting Company. The Bernie Mac Show ended its run in 2006.

The Bernie Mac Show was on for 5 seasons and 104 episodes. It features Stanley A. Smith as composer. The Bernie Mac Show is created by Larry Wilmore.

The Bernie Mac Show is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Bernie Mac Show is 30 minutes long. The Bernie Mac Show is produced by Wilmore Films, and Regency Enterprises; 20th Century Fox Television and distributed by 20th Television.

The cast includes: Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins as Bernie Mac, Mr. Thomkins as Vanessa, and Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins as Bernie.

The Bernie Mac Show Quotes

Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins as Bernie Mac

  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "I would like to give these kids a good home. In fact, there's one a few miles away from here --"
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "I thought those kids were just spoiled, but all this time they just wanted to go back to the projects. Isn't that the stupidest thing you ever heard? Oh, those beautiful, stupid kids."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Oh, Lord."
  • (Unnamed) "Until you treat those kids like they're wanted, below this line"
  • (Unnamed) "off limits."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "But that's Bernie Mac's Puffs. Takin' away below the belt. Now THAT'S below the belt. It's extortion, I tell you, and I'm not having it. You can't blackmail this black male. Bernie Mac strong."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Cut the camera off."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "She turned on the lights, and there -- Hanging on the door was a bloody hook -- From the last person who touched Bernie Mac's stereo without his permission."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "But seriously, if y'all get hungry, go to a restaurant."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Good morning, Vanessa."
  • (Wimbush, Camille) "Uhm."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Oh, I bet I don't feed you in the morning, you'll have somethin' to say."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Do no touch my TV, my CD, my DVD, my VHS, my old school, my new school. Got it?"
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Okay, I'll take them to Splash Canyon, but if they give me one excuse, just one excuse, to turn around I'll take it. Anything. Sneeze. Little one wheezes. Glasses fall. Anything. Big one cop an attitude. Anything. We turn right around and I sit here with my air conditioning guilt-free. Quickness. Woosh. "I thought we were going somewhere". "Psych"."
  • (Boy) "Bernie rhymes with turkey."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "No it doesn't. And it's Mr. Mac. Rhymes with smack, as in upside your head."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don't start writing no letters. I'm just kidding. But am I lying?"
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "I'm gonna kill one of them kids."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Jordan's gonna have a case of "assus beatus redus". That's Latin for I'm gonna beat his ass until it glows."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Busted the head until the white meat shows."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch --"
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "My James Brown."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Them doggone kids."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "You little sneak. You think this is funny? You in big troubles with me, young man. I mean big trouble."
  • (Mr. Thomkins) "You can't punish him."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Watch and see if I don't."
  • (Mr. Thomkins) "You just mad 'cause he played you."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "He didn't play me, he stole from me. The boy stole. It's called the way it is."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Hi-dee, hi-dee boo boo, stick your head in doo-doo."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Oh come on now, you just uptight about the Richters."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh no, Bernie, I was annoyed about the Richters. I am LIVID about this."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Livid? That's two degrees passed pissed."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "This is blaxploitation, America. Blaxploitation."
  • (Unnamed) "You could have at least given Jordan dessert before you sent him to his room."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "The boy should have bought some cookies when he went on that spending spree."
  • (Mr. Thomkins) "He did."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "What you way?"
  • (Mr. Thomkins) "Nothing, Warden."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "You can go right in the room and join him."
  • (Bryana "Baby Girl" Thomkins) "Let's move on."

Mr. Thomkins as Vanessa

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