The Boys in the Band Quotes

The Boys in the Band is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . The Boys in the Band stopped airing in 1970.

It features Mart Crowley as producer, and Arthur J. Ornitz as head of cinematography.

The Boys in the Band is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Boys in the Band is 118 minutes long. The Boys in the Band is distributed by National General Pictures.

The cast includes: Kenneth Nelson as Michael, Leonard Frey as Harold, Cliff Gorman as Emory, Robert La Tourneaux as Cowboy, Peter White as Alan, Frederick Combs as Donald, and Laurence Luckinbill as Hank.

The Boys in the Band Quotes

Leonard Frey as Harold

• (Leonard Frey) "Your lips are turning blue. You look like you've been rimming a snowman."

• (Leonard Frey) "And they're minding their own business."
• (Kenneth Nelson) "And you mind yours Harold. I'm warning you."
• (Leonard Frey) "Are you now? You warning me? Me? I'm Harold. I'm the one person you don't warn, Michael, because you and I are a match. And we tread very softly with each other, because we both play each other's game too well. I know this game, you're playing. I know it very well, and I play it very well. You play it very well too, but you know what? I'm the only one who's better at it than you are. I can beat you at it, so don't push me. I'm warning you."

• (Leonard Frey) "How's the bathroom smell?"
• (Kenneth Nelson) "Before it smelled like someone puked. Now it smells like someone puked in a gardenia patch."

• (Leonard Frey) "Not for all the tea in Mexico."

• (Leonard Frey) "I keep my grass in the medicine cabinet in the Band Aid box. Somebody told me it's the safest place. If the cops arrive, you can always lock yourself in the bathroom and flush it down the john."
• (Laurence Luckinbill) "Very cagey."
• (Leonard Frey) "Makes more sense to where I was keeping it: in the oregano jar in the spice rack. I kept forgetting it and accidentally turning my hateful mother on with a salad. But I think she liked it. No matter what meal she comes over for, even if it was breakfast, she says"
• (Leonard Frey) ""Let's have a salad.""

• (Leonard Frey) "Give me librium or give me meth."

Kenneth Nelson as Michael

• (Kenneth Nelson) "I'm feeling like Ol' Man River: I'm tired of living but I'm scared of dying."

• (Kenneth Nelson) "Donald, you are a real card carrying c***."

• (Kenneth Nelson) ""Forget your troubles, c'mon get happy. You better chase all your cares away." What's more boring than a queen doing a Judy Garland imitation?"
• (Frederick Combs) "A queen doing a Bette Davis imitation."

• (Kenneth Nelson) "A falling down drunk nellie queen."
• (Leonard Frey) "Well, THAT'S the pot calling the kettle "beige"."
• (Kenneth Nelson) "I AM NOT DRUNK."

• (Kenneth Nelson) "As my father said to me when he died in my arms, 'I don't understand any of it. I never did.' Turn the lights out when you leave."

• (Kenneth Nelson) "What's so f***ing funny?"
• (Leonard Frey) "Life. Life's a god**** laugh riot."

• (Kenneth Nelson) "You're stoned and you're late. You were supposed to arrive at this location at eight thirty dash nine o'clock."
• (Leonard Frey) "What I am Michael is a 32 year-old, ugly, pock marked Jew fairy, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's god damned business but my own. And how are you this evening?"

• (Kenneth Nelson) "How much was he Emory?"
• (Cliff Gorman) "A STEAL."
• (Leonard Frey) "A ham sandwich. Fifty cents, any time of the day or night."
• (Leonard Frey) "KING -- of the pig people."
• (Robert La Tourneaux) "I'm not a steal. I cost twenty dollars."

• (Kenneth Nelson) "Turn off the lights when you leave."

• (Kenneth Nelson) "One could murder you, with very little effort."

Robert La Tourneaux as Cowboy

• (Robert La Tourneaux) "I'm glad I don't have to pay the bill."
• (Kenneth Nelson) "Quiet."
• (Leonard Frey) "Oh. Don't worry, Michael won't pay it either."

• (Robert La Tourneaux) "I lost my grip doing my chin ups and fell on my heels and twisted my back."
• (Cliff Gorman) "You shouldn't wear heels when you do chin ups."

• (Robert La Tourneaux) "I'm not a steal. I cost twenty dollars."

Cliff Gorman as Emory

• (Cliff Gorman) "Ooh, I'd love to meet him. Or her. I have such a problem with pronouns."
• (Peter White) "How many S's are in the word pronoun?"
• (Cliff Gorman) "How'd you like to kiss my ass? That's got two S's in it."
• (Peter White) "How would you like to blow me?"
• (Cliff Gorman) "What's the matter, your wife's got lockjaw?"

Laurence Luckinbill as Hank

• (Laurence Luckinbill) "Would you mind waiting over there with the gifts?"

Frederick Combs as Donald

• (Frederick Combs) "Thanks to the silver screen your neurosis has got style."

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