The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy Quotes

The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy is a television show that first aired in 1970 . The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy completed its run in 1970.

It features Mickey Liddell, and Joseph Middleton as producer, Christophe Beck in charge of musical score, and Paul Elliott (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy is 94 minutes long. The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy is distributed by Sony Pictures Classics.

The cast includes: Ben Weber as Patrick, John Mahoney as Jack, Timothy Olyphant as Dennis, Zach Braff as Benji, Matt McGrath as Howie, Billy Porter as Taylor, Dean Cain as Cole, and Jennifer Coolidge as Betty.

The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy Quotes

Dean Cain as Cole

• (Dean Cain) "Thank God you're home."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "Thanks to Mufasa here, it's now a Tunisian hut."
• (Billy Porter) "Why do I even try?"

• (Dean Cain) "The one time you bastards actually keep a secret is the one time it matters. Now I feel like s***."
• (Matt McGrath) "I think that's a scientific impossibility."

• (Dean Cain) "So, how do you and Benji know each other?"
• (Unnamed) "We fold jeans at Structure."

• (Dean Cain) "Last time I use an audition monologue to break-up with somebody."

• (Dean Cain) "Is there a sentence that you don't start with "as a person in a long-term relationship"?"
• (Billy Porter) "It speaks on my authority, in matters of the heart."
• (Dean Cain) "It speaks of your boyfriend's insanity."

Ben Weber as Patrick

• (Ben Weber) "Leslie, queen of bitch-town, your people have come to take you home."

• (Ben Weber) "I couldn't do it."
• (Unnamed) "See I told you he was gonna start some s***."
• (Unnamed) "You couldn't do it?"
• (Ben Weber) "I need material."
• (Unnamed) "They don't have material?"
• (Ben Weber) "Well the whole "Hustler" ouvre isn't exactly helping my cause right now."
• (Matt McGrath) "Oh my God it's embarrassing to even be seen in here. You owe me so big for this hag. You know my issues with buying porno."
• (Unnamed) "Hurry up."

• (Ben Weber) "Oh great. This is what I get for trying to be a friend."
• (Billy Porter) "Well we obviously have two different interpretations of that word."
• (Ben Weber) "What's that supposed to mean?"
• (Billy Porter) "It means that when it comes to men, you delight in being the bearer of bad news for all of us. You can disguise it all you want under the guise of 'Patrick's Good Advice' but it ain't s*** but a pin -- trying to pop all of our relationship balloons. Yeah, I knew Paul was sleeping with other people, but he told me we'd work it out. He promised we'd work it out."
• (Ben Weber) "He lied."

• (Ben Weber) "When I watch them, it feels so strange. It's like I'm not even a part of it. They're all so much more attractive than I am."
• (John Mahoney) "Patrick --"
• (Ben Weber) "No. You know what? I don't mind. Really, I don't. I kind of like being attractive by association. It's the closest I've ever gotten to feeling beautiful."

• (Unnamed) "You see, I told you we should've just drugged him and jerked him off."
• (Ben Weber) "Drugged me and -- is this the woman that you want to become a mother with?"
• (Unnamed) "She's serious, too."

Matt McGrath as Howie

• (Matt McGrath) "You told me once that you were waiting for me to wake up. You didn't wait long enough. I've never been more awake than I am right now. And I admit it I f***ed up. No matter who you were there would have always been something wrong with you and someone better out there. And I wish that I could change that. I wish that I could take back all the times I didn't appreciate you. But I'll tell you right now, that I loved you. I still love you. And it has nothing to do with me; it has nothing to do with how good looking he is. It has to do with you. Because you are sweet, you're endearing, and uncomplicated. And you're so beautiful. I hope that you're happy together. I hope that this works out and that he's everything that you need, because you deserve it. But if he's not, and it ends I'll be there. It's my turn to wait, and I'm going to wait long enough."

• (Matt McGrath) "There isn't a movie in the cinema canon that depicts a gay character that we would aspire to be. What are our options -- noble, suffering AIDS victims, the friends of noble suffering AIDS victims, sex addicts, common street hustlers and the newest addition to the lot, stylish confidantes to lovelorn women. Just once I would like to see someone who is not sick, hasn't been laid in about three months and is behind on his student loans."
• (Zach Braff) "And that is someone you would aspire to be?"
• (Billy Porter) "Right?"

• (Matt McGrath) "I want to be Cole. Why can't I be Cole. Why couldn't God have made me Cole."
• (Matt McGrath) "My friends get a haircut with this."

• (Matt McGrath) "I hate this city. Everyone's better looking than me."

• (Unnamed) "I still make you speechless?"

• (Matt McGrath) "Dumb gorgeous people should not be allowed to use literature when competing in the pickup pool. It's like bald people wearing hats -- it's deceiving."

• (Unnamed) "I hang on because I love you, and I wait patiently for you to calm down and wake up and realize that you love me too. You hang on because it's easy."
• (Matt McGrath) "When you say it like that I sound like an asshole."

• (Matt McGrath) "Meanwhile."

• (Matt McGrath) "Look. Benji's talking to Idaho Guy."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "Who?"
• (Matt McGrath) "Idaho Guy. He's Benji's newest crush. Benji's been working out near him for weeks in hopes that Idaho Guy would notice."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "Why do you call him Idaho Guy?"
• (Ben Weber) "I don't know. He just kind of -- looks like he's from Idaho. It's not one of our better ones."

Timothy Olyphant as Dennis

• (Unnamed) "So, what; you're not attracted to me?"
• (Timothy Olyphant) "Of course I'm attracted to you. I've been crazy about you ever since you lit the candles. Kevin, you were the wish."

• (Unnamed) "You scared me."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "It's my house, I'm allowed to do that."

• (Timothy Olyphant) "Is that the girl from 'Young and the Restless'?"
• (Matt McGrath) "I'm so over Y&R."

• (Timothy Olyphant) "Ice."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "Yes, there is -- ice and -- I will go get it."

• (Unnamed) "I don't get you guys. Is that all you do, you just sit around and talk about guys?"
• (Timothy Olyphant) "Either that, or we talk about guys."

• (Timothy Olyphant) "You told them."
• (Unnamed) "It just kind of slipped out. My mom said she made some key lime pie, and I said 'great, I love key lime pie -- and I'm gay'."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "I bet she wishes she made apple pie instead."

• (Timothy Olyphant) "You're right, it looked lonely."

• (Timothy Olyphant) "Cole --"
• (Timothy Olyphant) "You're up in 2."
• (Dean Cain) "Oh. Thanks Den."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "Hey."
• (Unnamed) "Hey."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "So, still deciding if you're gay?"

• (Timothy Olyphant) "You like The Carpenters."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, insanely."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "Well, here's to your first OGT. Obviously Gay Trait. Mine are: love of The Carpenters, culinary interests, and intense fear of blood sports."

• (Timothy Olyphant) "Where is my living room?"
• (Billy Porter) "Oh it's still here, I just shifted it around a little."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "No, this is YOUR living room. You didn't shift my living room around, you shifted my living room out and your living room in. So, where is my living room?"
• (Billy Porter) "Distributed evenly around the house."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "Distribute it back."
• (Billy Porter) "It took me all day."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "So now you'll be done in time to set your curlers for bed."
• (Billy Porter) "Okay Dennis, look at it this way: a new furniture arrangement is like a new hairstyle, you have to live with it for a few days before you can tell whether you really like it or not."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "That is not true. I haven't had a shag, but I wouldn't have to live with one for a few days to know that I don't want one."

• (Timothy Olyphant) "I thought my mom would be cooler, she was a 60's love child. When she caught me smoking pot with my friends all she said was 'I hope you didn't pay market for that'. But when I told her I was gay she didn't speak to me for a month."
• (Unnamed) "How is she now?"
• (Timothy Olyphant) "Better. She still refers to the homosexual community as 'The Gays', like they live on her block."
• (Timothy Olyphant) "'Dennis, I heard The Gays had a parade -- did you go'?"

• (Timothy Olyphant) "Benji, there isn't a straight man in America who doesn't refer to anyone but his girlfriend as 'girlfriend'."
• (Zach Braff) "I know, but I was so butch when I said it."

• (Timothy Olyphant) "If Larry Kramer knew this is how gay men in America spent their time, he'd defect."
• (Matt McGrath) "He probably would."
• (Ben Weber) "Larry Kramer can blow me."
• (Matt McGrath) "He probably would."

• (Timothy Olyphant) "Thanks Betty, you always know just what to say."
• (Jennifer Coolidge) "It's a gift."

Billy Porter as Taylor

• (Billy Porter) "I-I-if you're going to break up with somebody, at least have the decency to provide them with better lighting."

• (Billy Porter) "I was left for another man. And not just any other man, a trainer. A trainer named Dash. I was left for a punctuation mark."

John Mahoney as Jack

• (John Mahoney) "Sometimes I wonder what you boys would do if you weren't gay. You'd have no identity. It was easy when you couldn't talk about it. Now it's all you talk about. You talk about it so much that you forget about all the other things that you are."

Zach Braff as Benji

• (Zach Braff) "It's called being horny."
• (Matt McGrath) "It's not horny. I know horny. I've taken a lecture series on horny."
• (Zach Braff) "They have lecture series on horny?"

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