(Article is below...)

The 'Burbs Quotes

The 'Burbs is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . The 'Burbs ended its run in 1970.

It features Larry Brezner, Michael Finnell, Ron Howard, and Dana Olsen as producer, Jerry Goldsmith in charge of musical score, and Robert M. Stevens as head of cinematography.

The 'Burbs is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The 'Burbs is 101 minutes long. The 'Burbs is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Tom Hanks as Ray Peterson, Rick Ducommun as Art, Rick Ducommun as Art Wiengartner, Bruce Dern as Mark Rumsfield, Brother Theodore as Reuben, Corey Feldman as Ricky Butler, Courtney Gains as Hans Klopek, Carrie Fisher as Carol Peterson, Wendy Schaal as Bonnie Rumsfield, Dick Miller as Vic, Garbageman #1, Bruce Dern as Mr. Rumsfield, Tom Hanks as Ray, Franklyn Ajaye as Detective #1, Corey Feldman as Ricky, Henry Gibson as Dr. Werner Klopek, Nicky Katt as Steve Kuntz, and Robert Picardo as Joe, Garbageman #2.

The 'Burbs Quotes

Bruce Dern as Mark Rumsfield

  • (Bruce Dern) "Ricky, get this lame-o out of your yard."
  • (Corey Feldman) "Get out of my yard, Lame-o."
  • (Bruce Dern) "There go the god**** brownies."
  • (Bruce Dern) "That really burns my ass."
  • (Wendy Schaal) "What?"
  • (Bruce Dern) "That old fart. He's got the best lawn on the block. And you know why? Because he trains his dog to crap in my yard."
  • (Bruce Dern) "Are you implying that you've been carrying that around in your shorts all day?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "After you left Walter's house yesterday, I slipped this back in, through the mail slot."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Well, where'd you get this then?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "After the dog came up out of the basement, I found it wedged in between a bunch of magazines all of which I might add, were addressed to Walter."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Then that means that --"
  • (Bruce Dern) "Klopeck went back into the house and got the hair. What do we do now, soldier?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Well you heard them say they're leaving tomorrow morning? As soon as they're gone, I'm going over that fence, and I'm not coming back until I find a dead body."
  • (Bruce Dern) "I know you're in there, old man. Listen up, mister. That piece of scum barking rat of yours has just taken his last dump on my lawn. I find one more- just one- I'm gonna catch him and staple his ass shut."
  • (Bruce Dern) "Good solid walls --"
  • (Bruce Dern) "Good solid floors."
  • (Bruce Dern) "Oh-ho. Got somebody tied up in the ol' cellar, have yah, Rube?"
  • (Bruce Dern) "What'd you say we all sit down for a little of the old face-to-face, hey What-Rube?"
  • (Bruce Dern) "In Southeast Asia we'd call this kind of thing bad karma."
  • (Bruce Dern) "Rumsfield's the name. Don't think I caught yours, sonny?"
  • (Courtney Gains) "H-H-Hans."
  • (Bruce Dern) "Hans. Oh-ho. A fine Christian name. Hans Christian Andersen. What are you, Catholic?"
  • (Bruce Dern) "Here you go, sonny; a little something for the old sweet tooth."
  • (Bruce Dern) "We caught ya, Reub. You think you've been playing us for saps but you were wrong."
  • (Bruce Dern) "What have you got in the cellar, HERR Klopek."
  • (Bruce Dern) "Art."
  • (Wendy Schaal) "Your wife is home."
  • (Bruce Dern) "And your house is on fire."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "My wife is home?"
  • (Bruce Dern) "Klopek -- what is that, Slavic?"
  • (Brother Theodore) "NO."
  • (Bruce Dern) "'Bout a nine on the tension scale, Reub."
  • (Bruce Dern) "Oh, pretty girl. Friend of yours?"
  • (Courtney Gains) "No, it came with the frame."
  • (Bruce Dern) "It came wit de frame?"
  • (Bruce Dern) "Shut up and paint your god**** HOUSE."

Tom Hanks as Ray Peterson

  • (Tom Hanks) "So they keep to themselves, can you blame them? They live next door to people who break in their house, AND BURN IT DOWN while they're gone for the day."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Art's got a gun"
  • (Tom Hanks) "I'm gonna go do something productive. I'm gonna go watch television."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Infra-red night vision scopes? What are we going to do next, tap their phones line?"
  • (Bruce Dern) "That can be arranged."
  • (Tom Hanks) "No, Art, see, they're gonna think that I did it. Yeah, they are --"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Why?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Well the old guy -- He saw me write a note and put it underneath Walter's door SO NOW THEY'RE GONNA THINK THAT I DID IT."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "-- You wrote a note?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Is that a transformer or something?"
  • (Bruce Dern) "It's the god**** power company."
  • (Tom Hanks) "You wanna take that out of your pocket? You wanna not steal that from Walter's house, please?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "I've been blown up, take me to the hospital."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Take me to a hospital, I'm sick. What?"
  • (Carrie Fisher) "Honey? I'll just find out what hospital they're taking you to and then I'll -- Follow right along. Okay?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Okay, honey."
  • (Tom Hanks) "It's Walter's Toupée."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Oh jeez, beautiful place to keep a toupée, on the stove. I'm starving."
  • (Bruce Dern) "One thing about these old guys; they don't ever leave the house without their hair. No sir. Walter left this house in a big hurry."
  • (Tom Hanks) "You had a dream a plane was gonna crash, so you took the bus to Las Vegas."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "If I had been on the plane it WOULD have crashed."
  • (Tom Hanks) "aw, oh I should have gone to the lake, I shoulda listened to Carol --"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Listen to your wife? Who listens to their wife? Listen, you gotta listen to me."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Remember what you were saying about people in the 'burbs, Art, people like Skip, people who mow their lawn for the 800th time, and then SNAP? WELL, THAT'S US. IT'S NOT THEM, THAT'S US. WE'RE the ones who are vaulting over the fences, and peeking in through people's windows. We're the ones who are THROWING GARBAGE IN THE STREET, AND LIGHTING FIRES. WE'RE THE ONES WHO ARE ACTING SUSPICIOUS AND PARANOID, ART. WE'RE THE LUNATICS. US. IT'S NOT THEM. It's us."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "I don't know what to say -- What, do you want me to move?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Nobody knocks off an old man in my neighborhood and gets away with it."
  • (Tom Hanks) "I'm not going to listen to this, I'm not going to hear this now."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Ray. Ray. You're chanting."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Ray. Ray, look."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Ray, unconscious chanting. You're chanting."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "I want to kill everyone. Satan is good. Satan is our pal."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Ray. Ray, you're chanting. Hey, once they"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "get in here --"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "-- it's over, pal."
  • (Tom Hanks) "I'm a broken man because of you, Art."

Rick Ducommun as Art Wiengartner

  • (Rick Ducommun) "Safety is my middle name."
  • (Tom Hanks) "I thought his middle name was Louis."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Ray, do you want 'em to take your family, kidnap 'em, tear their livers out and make some kind of satanic pâté?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "I think the message to, uh, psychos, fanatics, murderers, nutcases all over the world is, uh, "do not mess with suburbanites". Because, uh, frankly we're just not gonna take it any more. Ya know, we're not gonna be content to look after our lawns and wax our cars, paint out houses. We're out to get them, Don, we are out to get them."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "I can see the news report now; they were a quiet family, kept pretty much to themselves. No one would have ever suspected them of foul play."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Apparently their last house, it only -- burned to the ground."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Really?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Yeah, a hideous raging inferno."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "A thermostat on a home furnace; is that supposed to go to 5,000 degrees, you think?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "He comes over here to smoke cigars, his wife won't let him, he doesnt know i know that -- Hiya Ray. How ya doing bud?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Where did you learn to do that?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "I don't know how to do this."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "That's a s*** store anyway."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Go ahead, tell him, Ray. We got the goods on them, don't we? You know, some day they're going to dig up the back of that yard and they're gonna find the rest of that skeleton to go with that femur. Oh it might not be Walter but it's gonna be some --"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Shut up. SHUT UP, ART, SHUT UP. God, you don't know when to quit, do you? Look at me. I'm a shell of a man because of you, Art."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Rumsfield and I, we flushed them out. We wrote a note, we slipped it under the door, we rang the bell and then we ran."
  • (Tom Hanks) "You did that?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Yeah."
  • (Tom Hanks) "OH GEEZ. STUPID IDI; I can't believe you - --"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "All I did was write, "I know what you've done". That's all. I didn't sign it."
  • (Tom Hanks) "OH. I can't belie; YOU STUPID -- GOD."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "You gotta goose these people every once in a while. You gotta give them a little shot, give them a little whack, let them know that you're there."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "You know what the deal is? We gotta go down to the religious supply store. We gotta get a couple of gallons of holy water. My cousin Gary is a priest. He can get us a deal."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "I'm telling you these people are Satanists. As I sit here, they are satanists. Look, look, the world is full of these kind of things; black masses, mutilations. Mutilations. The incubus, the succubus; I'm tellin' you, Walter was a human sacrifice."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Wait, hold it, garbies. Garbies, garbage men. Hold on a minute, wait a sec. Wait. Wait, wait, hold it. What are you doing?"
  • (Dick Miller) "Emptying garbage."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Into the garbage truck? What are you, out of your mind?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Ray. Ray."
  • (Tom Hanks) "I'm only trying to take a nap. I'm only laying here with my eyes closed trying to keep some god**** sleep."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Ray, there's nothing in here- we practically checked this whole truck. They-they must have switched on us during the night."
  • (Robert Picardo) "The FBI?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "I don't know if you've noticed, but there's bars on the basement windows here."
  • (Tom Hanks) "They've got holes in their porch, too."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Argh. That was a booby trap."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Are you okay?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Yeah."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Oh, booby trap. I'm not gonna pay for that."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "We shouldn't pay for that, we should sue them."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Give me that."
  • (Robert Picardo) "Here you go."
  • (Dick Miller) "What are YOU doin'?"
  • (Robert Picardo) "You asked me to help."

Corey Feldman as Ricky Butler

  • (Corey Feldman) "Ya know, did you ever see the movie "The Sentinel," Mr Peterson? It's about the old guy who owns the apartment which is kinda like the, uh, gateway to hell."
  • (Tom Hanks) "No, I, I didn't see that."
  • (Corey Feldman) "Well, I was doin' some thinkin' and you know, being that their last house burned down and all, it's like maybe, somebody left the gate open."
  • (Corey Feldman) "Green sky at morning, neighbor take warning."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Green sky at night?"
  • (Corey Feldman) "Neighbor take flight?"
  • (Corey Feldman) "Hey, Mrs. Rumsfield, no tan lines. Looks nice."
  • (Bruce Dern) "That kid next door's a meatball."
  • (Corey Feldman) "Oh, Mr. Rumsfield, be careful. Queenie --"
  • (Bruce Dern) "god**** it."
  • (Wendy Schaal) "Uh-oh."
  • (Bruce Dern) "Walter. Walter. Walter."
  • (Corey Feldman) "I love that dude."
  • (Corey Feldman) "God I love this street."
  • (Corey Feldman) "Ya know, did you ever see the movie, "The Sentinel", Mr. Peterson? It's about the old guy who owned the apartment, which is kind of like the, uh, gateway to Hell?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "No, I -- I didn't see that."
  • (Corey Feldman) "Oh, well, I was doing some thinking. And, you know, being that their last house burnt down and all, it's like, maybe -- somebody left the gate open."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "It's them. They're movin' around again. Ya know -- it was a night just like this that it happened."
  • (Corey Feldman) "What happened, Mr. Weingartner?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Oh, it was a long time ago, Ricky. Hinkley Hills was a lot smaller then -- safer too. You never had to lock your doors. Everybody knew everybody. I must have been maybe oh nine; ten years-old. You know where the big mall is?"
  • (Corey Feldman) "Yeah."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Well, there used to be a big drugstore on the corner there, had a big soda fountain, remember?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Yeah."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Yeah, and the guy who ran it was a; was a rotund guy, had glasses. His name was Skip. Lived over on Elm, had a wife, a couple of kids, ya know? Not too sharp, I mean, hey the guy's 40 years old, he's wearing a paper hat and he's makin' cherry Cokes, it's a cinch he's not runnin' for governor, right?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Anyway, it got hot that summer, I remember it got REAL hot. It was sweltering. Ya know that heat where your underwear sweats and it crawls up the -- anyway, it's hot, okay? And they start -- they start smellin' this -- this really vile stench over on Elm and they figure it's comin' from Skip's place. And no one wants to say anything, I mean, what do you do, go knock on the guys door, "Hi, you're house stinks"? So; so people are trying to ignore it, right? They're trying to pretend it; it isn't happening. A-and you know those pine things? They're trying to cover up with those pine things that you can put in cars. People are hanging those on their porches."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Oh, you think that's funny, Rick?"
  • (Corey Feldman) "Well, yeah."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Well yeah; let me tell you what happened next, OK. The state health inspector shows up. They go over, they talk to Skip, he says he's got a sump pump problem. They leave. Hey, they guy's got a sewer problem, he says he'll look after it, everything's okay, right?"
  • (Corey Feldman) "Right."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Wrong. A couple hours later there's smoke pouring out of the windows of Skip's house. The firemen show up, they go into Skip's house. Ya know what they find?"
  • (Corey Feldman) "What?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Skip's family, dead. Murdered -- by Skip -- weeks earlier -- with an ice pick. Yeah, the guy killed his own family with an ice pick. Yeah -- yeah just put 'em in the cool basement, covered 'em up with a sheet and went back to makin' ice cream treats for the townsfolk. Only thing -- Skip didn't count on there being a big heat wave that summer. You know what that was that all those people were smelling over on Elm, Ricky?"
  • (Corey Feldman) "What?"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Skip's family's bodies, decomposing in the summer heat"
  • (Rick Ducommun) ". Yeah apparently, one day Skip made just made one too many lemon phosphates,"
  • (Rick Ducommun) "El snappo."

Nicky Katt as Steve Kuntz

  • (Nicky Katt) "Hey man, when's the big unveiling, huh? Look, i gotta go to work in a couple of hours, you know."
  • (Bruce Dern) "Hey man, piss off."

Brother Theodore as Reuben

  • (Brother Theodore) "Mind your own business. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS."
  • (Tom Hanks) "OKAY."

Dick Miller as Vic, Garbageman #1

  • (Dick Miller) "I hate cul-de-sacs. There's only one way out, and the people are kind of weird."

Carrie Fisher as Carol Peterson

  • (Carrie Fisher) "Ray -- Ray, where are you going? Come back to bed."
  • (Carrie Fisher) "You were up at the crack of dawn watching a dog poop."
  • (Carrie Fisher) "He can't come out until he resembles the man that I married."
  • (Rick Ducommun) "Carol, We don't have that kind of time."

Henry Gibson as Dr. Werner Klopek

  • (Henry Gibson) "Do I look like an idiot, Mr. Peterson?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "-- No."
  • (Henry Gibson) "Do you take me for an imbecile?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "-- No."
  • (Henry Gibson) "You may have fooled the others, Mr. Peterson, but you don't fool me."
  • (Tom Hanks) "I-I-I-I fooled the others?"
  • (Henry Gibson) "But you don't fool me."
  • (Tom Hanks) "I don't?"
  • (Henry Gibson) "No you don't."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Am I missing something here, Dr. Klopek?"
  • (Henry Gibson) "Come now, Mr. Peterson, you were in my basement. Surely, you looked in the furnace."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Well I-I-I-I saw your furnace, Doctor. I figured a man's furnace is his own business."
  • (Henry Gibson) "You saw one of my skulls, didn't you? Oh yes, I know you did. It belonged to a neighbor of yours. The name was Knapp. We took the house from them. I offered to buy it, but you know how old people are, they grow so attached to things."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Uh, you know, Dr. Klopek, I think I forgot my wallet --"
  • (Henry Gibson) "I let you keep the femur, but now, now I want my skull. Or perhaps, I might just take yours. Hans."

Courtney Gains as Hans Klopek

  • (Courtney Gains) "Sardine?"
  • (Wendy Schaal) "I'm trying to cut back."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.

Additional Film and TV Quotes

Kalifornia Quotes | Cool World Quotes | Mary of Scotland (film) Quotes | Fahrenheit 9/11 Quotes | Steel Magnolias Quotes | Goodbye Pork Pie Quotes | Spellbinder (TV series) Quotes | Homeward (Star Trek: The Next Generation) Quotes | Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome Quotes | Mission Hill (TV series) Quotes | Shaun of the Dead Quotes | The Thin Blue Line (TV series) Quotes | The Thin Blue Line (1988 film) Quotes | Wild and Wooly Quotes | Pumpkinhead (film) Quotes | Three Men and a Baby Quotes | Murder with Mirrors Quotes | The Whales of August Quotes | Good Boy! Quotes | The Power of Myth Quotes | Evil Angels (film) Quotes | The Critic Quotes | What Lies Beneath Quotes | Jack of All Trades (TV series) Quotes | The Ben Stiller Show Quotes |