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The Cat in the Hat (film) Quotes

The Cat in the Hat (film) is a TV show that appeared on TV in 1970 . The Cat in the Hat ended in 1970.

It features Brian Grazer as producer, David Newman (composer) in charge of musical score, and Emmanuel Lubezki as head of cinematography.

The Cat in the Hat (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Cat in the Hat (film) is 82 minutes long. The Cat in the Hat (film) is distributed by Universal Pictures (North America).

The cast includes: Mike Myers as The Cat, Dakota Fanning as Sally, Spencer Breslin as Conrad, Roger Morrisey as Mom, Sean Hayes as Mr. Humberfloob, and Stephen Hibbert as Jim McFinnigan.

The Cat in the Hat (film) Quotes

Dakota Fanning as Sally

  • (Lawrence Quinn) "Anything for my little Princess."
  • (Dakota Fanning) "Oh, I don't wanna be a princess, in a constitutional monarchy, parliament has all the real power."
  • (Dakota Fanning) "Stop. That's --"
  • (Spencer Breslin) "Mom's dress."
  • (Mike Myers) "This filthy thing?"
  • (Dakota Fanning) "She was gonna wear that tonight and you ruined it."
  • (Mike Myers) "Honey, it was ruined when she bought it."
  • (Mike Myers) "Mmm-mmm-hmm yeah."
  • (Mike Myers) "Mmm-hmm."
  • (Dakota Fanning) "Taiwanese Parliament."
  • (Mrs. Kwan) "You tell them, Kwi-Chang. No more big government. Rip his heart out."
  • (Dakota Fanning) "Like being in the circus."
  • (Mike Myers) "Yeah, but without those tortured animals or drunken clowns that have hepatitis."
  • (Dakota Fanning) "Where did you come from?"
  • (Mike Myers) "Hmm, How do I put this -- When a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide that --"
  • (Spencer Breslin) "Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Where did you come from?"
  • (Mike Myers) "My place, what do you think?"
  • (Dakota Fanning) "Who are you?"
  • (Mike Myers) "Who, Me? Why I'm The Cat in the Hat, there's no doubt about that. I'm a super fundiferous feline, who's here to make sure that you're -- "meline" -- "key lime" -- "turpentine". I got nothing. I'm not so good with the rhyming, not really, no. Look, I'm a cat that can talk that should be enough for you people."

Mike Myers as The Cat

  • (Mike Myers) "If this were my house, I'd be furious."
  • (Mike Myers) "Uh, I'm uncomfortable with the "d" word. I just think it's wrong."
  • (Mike Myers) "How much is that canine American in the window."
  • (Mike Myers) "Humina, humina, humina. Who is this?"
  • (Spencer Breslin) "That's my mom."
  • (Mike Myers) "Awkward."
  • (Mike Myers) "Here she is, the Super Luxurious Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger, or S-L-O-W for short."
  • (Dakota Fanning) "S-L-O-W?"
  • (Mike Myers) "Yeah, S.L.O.W. It's better than the last thing we had: Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter."
  • (Spencer Breslin) "Oh, you mean --"
  • (Mike Myers) "No. Quick. To the S.L.O.W.."
  • (The Fish) "Someone else should drive."
  • (Mike Myers) "Alright, you win. Concrete, you drive."
  • (Spencer Breslin) "Are you serious?"
  • (Mike Myers) "I don't know. A little voice inside of me is saying, "This is a bad idea." But I can barely hear that little voice, because an even louder little voice is screaming, "Let the twelve-year-old drive." Now punch it."
  • (Spencer Breslin) "This is awesome."
  • (Dakota Fanning) "I want to drive."
  • (Mike Myers) "I think that's a great idea."
  • (Spencer Breslin) "Wait, two people can't drive at the same time."
  • (Mike Myers) "You're right. We should all drive."
  • (Lawrence Quinn) "Why am I sneezing?"
  • (Mike Myers) "That'd be me. BOO."
  • (Mike Myers) "You pay this woman to sit on babies? That's disgusting. I'd do it for nothing."
  • (Mike Myers) "I'll get you, and it'll look like a bloody accident."
  • (Mike Myers) "Listen kid, you can tap it with a hammer, it ain't gonna change."
  • (Thing Two) "Don't belittle me."
  • (Mike Myers) "Ah, yes of course. Thing 2 would like to clarify that just because he wears the number 2 does not imply in any way that he's inferior to Thing 1."
  • (Thing Two) "And all of the above."
  • (Mike Myers) "He says you may feel free to call him Thing A if you like. He will also accept Super Thing, Thing King, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate Thun-da or Ben."
  • (Thing Two) "Ben."
  • (Mike Myers) "Thing 1 says he's Thing 1 for a reason and some people should just get used to it. It's a Thing thing, you wouldn't understand."
  • (Mike Myers) "Oh yeah."
  • (Mike Myers) "Without my hat, I'm just your garden variety six-foot tall talking cat."
  • (The Fish) "Children, this cat is currently in violation of -- seventeen of your mother's rules."
  • (Mike Myers) "City Morgue."
  • (The Fish) "Eighteen."
  • (Mike Myers) "Delicious cupcakes are just minutes away."
  • (Mike Myers) "Did you just say "minutes away"? That's impossible."
  • (Mike Myers) "You're not just wrong, you're stupid."
  • (Mike Myers) "Now, wait just a minute --"
  • (Mike Myers) "And you're ugly, just like your mum."
  • (Mike Myers) "Dirty Hoe -- I'm sorry, baby. I love you."
  • (Mike Myers) "C'mon kids, you gonna listen to him? He drinks where he pees."
  • (Mike Myers) "Scream and run."
  • (Mike Myers) "Hey, Rhode Island license plate. You never see those."

Roger Morrisey as Mom

  • (Roger Morrisey) "Well, if you're both staying, remember the rules; Conrad, no playing ball in the house, no fighting, no answering the phone: "City Morgue"."
  • (Dakota Fanning) "Mommy, can't I have some rules?"
  • (Roger Morrisey) "No chewing tobacco."
  • (Roger Morrisey) "What do you mean you're leaving? You're a baby sitter. Baby sitters don't leave, they sit. Baby leavers leave."

Spencer Breslin as Conrad

  • (Spencer Breslin) "So, what do we do?"
  • (Mike Myers) "Well, there are two treatments I'd recommend. One is a series of painful shots injected into your abdomen and kneecaps, and the other involves a musical number. Me me me me-ow."
  • (Dakota Fanning) "How many shots?"
  • (The Fish) "Stop this right now."
  • (Spencer Breslin) "Who said that?"
  • (The Fish) "Me. Remember, the fish? Came home in a baggy, loved me for two weeks, and then nothing."
  • (Dakota Fanning) "The fish is talking."
  • (Mike Myers) "Well, sure, he can talk. But is he saying anything? No, not really."
  • (Spencer Breslin) "I'm not going to military school."
  • (Lawrence Quinn) "Oh, I think you're gonna love it. It's just like summer camp, except with brutal forced marches and soul-crushing discipline."

Sean Hayes as Mr. Humberfloob

  • (Sean Hayes) "If your house is as messy as last time, you're FIRRRRRRRE-DUH."
  • (Sean Hayes) "First, I'd like to welcome aboard our newest member of the Humberfloob family, Jim McFlinnagan."
  • (Stephen Hibbert) "Mr. Humberfloob, I wanted to thank you --"
  • (Sean Hayes) "Fired."
  • (Stephen Hibbert) "I beg your pardon?"
  • (Sean Hayes) "Fired."
  • (Stephen Hibbert) "But I --"
  • (Sean Hayes) "Fireeeee-dah."

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