The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys Quotes

The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys completed its run in 1970.

It features Marco Beltrami in charge of musical score, and Lance Acord as head of cinematography.

The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys is 104 minutes long. The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys is distributed by ThinkFilm.

The cast includes: Emile Hirsch as Francis Doyle, Kieran Culkin as Tim, Jodie Foster as Sister Assumpta, Tyler Long as Joey Anderson, Jake Richardson as Wade Scalisi, Jena Malone as Margie Flynn, Kieran Culkin as Tim Sullivan, Arthur Bridges as Donny Flynn, and Vincent D'Onofrio as Father Casey.

The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys Quotes

Tyler Long as Joey Anderson

• (Tyler Long) "It's Major Screw going at it with an evil warrior babe."
• (Kieran Culkin) "Going at what?"
• (Tyler Long) "69."
• (Jake Richardson) "That looks more like 47."

• (Tyler Long) "That's not true guys, cus there is a bone in your penis, thats why they call it a boner."
• (Jake Richardson) "oh, oh yea you're right -- SHUT UP."
• (Tyler Long) "what was that for?"
• (Jake Richardson) "You're an idiot."

Jena Malone as Margie Flynn

• (Jena Malone) "Francis, tell me the most amazing thing you've ever heard."
• (Emile Hirsch) "There's this fish that lives at the bottom of the ocean and it has a spine sticking out of its head to lure prey. The females are the glowing ones and the males are smaller. After the male fish hatch, they bite onto a female, like parasites. But after a while they grow into each other and share the same blood and everything -- They turn into one single fish."
• (Jena Malone) "Wow -- that's really weird."

• (Jena Malone) "I used to let Donny do -- things to me."
• (Emile Hirsch) "What kind of things?"
• (Jena Malone) "Everything."
• (Emile Hirsch) "Wait, Donny who?"
• (Emile Hirsch) "Donnie, your brother?"

Emile Hirsch as Francis Doyle

• (Unnamed) "Girlfriend?"
• (Emile Hirsch) "I don't have a girlfriend."
• (Unnamed) "From the body, I'd guess Farrah Fawcett-Majors. From the face, I'd say that Flynn girl."

• (Emile Hirsch) "Hey Joey, didn't you say something about a wet washcloth?"
• (Tyler Long) "-- Yeah."
• (Emile Hirsch) "I think I found your girlfriend."

• (Emile Hirsch) "Damnit Sullivan, I don't believe it, we just knocked out a cougar with a K-Mart blow gun."

Jodie Foster as Sister Assumpta

• (Jodie Foster) "Blake. A little advance don't you think?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Not really Sister. It's written simply enough for a six year old."
• (Jodie Foster) "So are the instructions for a handgun."

• (Jodie Foster) "But make no mistake, the culprits will be fingered. I will finger the culprits."

Kieran Culkin as Tim

• (Kieran Culkin) "Alright, seems like the perfect spot for deciding what you really want in life."
• (Emile Hirsch) "My own comic book bigger than anything that Marvel or DC has."
• (Kieran Culkin) "No, I'm talking about what you really want right now, like revenge on the one legged bitch in black and white."
• (Emile Hirsch) "Margie Flynn."
• (Kieran Culkin) "s***. I knew it, Margie Flynn."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Serious trouble beats serious boredom."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Risk leads to greatness."

• (Kieran Culkin) "I burned all the skin off my hands. I can barely curl my fingers now."
• (Emile Hirsch) "There goes your sex life."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Are you with me here, altar boy?"

• (Kieran Culkin) "You've got to aim lower."
• (Arthur Bridges) "That low enough?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Not as low as f***ing your own sister."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Don't you ever tell me to get real. I know what f***ing real is okay."

Vincent D'Onofrio as Father Casey

• (Vincent D'Onofrio) "Jesus H Christ."
• (Kieran Culkin) "What does the H stand for Father?"

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