The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (season 5) Quotes

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is a TV program that debuted in 1994 on NBC. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air ended in 1995.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air aired for 25 episodes.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes

• (Will) "Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too."

• (Geoffrey) "I'm too ashamed to talk about it, it's better if I show you --"
• (Will) "You did a porno movie?"
• (Hilary) "Eww --"

• (Will) "Carlton, I misjudged you. You're a lot cooler than I thought. Hey, you wanna go to the club with us tonight?"
• (Carlton) "I don't have a date."
• (Will) "Carlton, never bring a sandwich to a buffet."

• (Vivian) "I'm as big as a house. All I want to do is lie in bed and eat pie."
• (Phillip Banks) "Well, Vivian, so do I, but I still get things done."

• (Will) "Hey. Kool-Aid."

• (Phillip Banks) "Geoffrey, bring me my tools."
• (Geoffrey) "Do you mean your knife and fork, sir?"

• (Vivian) "Our family had its share of surprises. You remember the time Uncle Reuben came out the closet?"
• (Helen) "How can I forget? He was wearing my purple suit."

• (Carlton) "You're the man, Will. You're the man. I'm just the man behind the man."
• (Will) "Uh, what're you doin' back there?"

• (Will) "Oh darn, Now Arnold will have to return his."
• (Unnamed) "I like it Hilary."
• (Philip Banks) "I agree, it's a very nice hat."
• (Unnamed) "It's Hilary's new bathing suit."
• (Philip Banks) "When fish ride bicycles."

• (Jazz) "Between you and the humpty dance, I'll have to get a metal plate on my butt."

• (Carlton) "I'm sick of being such a big loser."
• (Will) "Aw, C; you're not big."

• (Carlton) "HEY. WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?"
• (Carlton) "WHERE IS EVERYBODY?"
• (Will) "I am definitely gonna miss you, C."

• (Hilary) "Face it, you're a taker."
• (Carlton) "Oh, I'M a taker, Miss 'Daddy, can I have five-hundred dollars?'"
• (Hilary) "Oh, right, Mister 'Hey Big Guy, how about a copy of your will in case something happens to you?'"
• (Carlton) "That's called prudent planning."
• (Hilary) "Yeah, if your last name is Menendez."

• (Will) "Girl, you look so good, I would marry your brother just to get in your family."

• (Will) "I could kill that boy."
• (Geoffrey) "If you're serious, I could make some calls."

• (Will) "Man, I love Halloween. It's the only time of year when a black man can wear a mask at night and not get arrested."

• (Geoffrey) "I found that any game can be made interesting if you put some money on it."

• (Will) "I'm gonna pop that little zit when I get home."

• (Ashley Banks) "All I want is for you to trust me."
• (Vivian) "Trust is a very fragile thing --"
• (Vivian) "And you're gonna have to start earning it all back."

• (Will) "Aunt Viv, I got the cake you wanted for the family reunion."
• (Vivian Banks) "Good."
• (Will) "And guess what's in here?"
• (Carlton) "It's round, it's rubber and you'll never use it."

• (Geoffrey) "Miss Hilary, please, I'm still exhausted from last night."
• (Hilary) "Last night? Please. All I asked you to do was a little yard work."
• (Geoffrey) "I don't believe blacktopping your tennis court falls into that category."
• (Hilary) "You are so lazy."

• (Will) "Carlton, I think you've been deprived of oxygen at birth."

• (Will) "Ashley, no."

• (Will) "I- I can't take this, Uncle Phil. I, um- There's something I need to tell you."
• (Philip Banks) "What is it?"
• (Will) "Those pills that Carlton took -- um, they- they were from my locker."
• (Philip Banks) "What?"
• (Will) "Uncle Phil, I was keeping them in case I needed them --"
• (Philip Banks) "How could you be so stupid? You know you shouldn't be messing with drugs."
• (Will) "I know, Uncle Phil. Somebody gave them to me at school. I didn't mean for Carlton to take them. I mean, I didn't even know if I was gonna take them."
• (Will) "I'm sorry, Uncle Phil --"
• (Philip Banks) "Sorry?"
• (Philip Banks) "My son could have died because of you."
• (Will) "Look, I know Uncle Phil. That's all I've been thinking about. B-but you gotta believe me, Uncle Phil, I didn't mean to hurt him --"
• (Philip Banks) "Yeah, well, you did. You hurt him, and you could have hurt yourself."

• (Hilary) "I mean, we must all do our parts to protect the environment. Every time we cut down a tree, it just takes us one step closer to global warming. And we must do it not just for ourselves or our children, but for all of humanity."
• (Margaret Furth) "Why, I never knew it was such a problem. I think it's great that you have the courage to want to do something about it."
• (Hilary) "Thanks. It's my passion."
• (Margaret Furth) "Where should I make a donation?"
• (Hilary) "I don't know."

• (Geoffrey) "Master Carlton, I have to take this tray up to your mother, so on your way out, would you mind taking out the garbage?"
• (Carlton) "Do I look like Roc?"
• (Will) "I don't know, Carlton. Maybe if you shaved your head bald and sanded down the square part."
• (Carlton) "Ashley, you take out the garbage."
• (Ashley Banks) "Why me?"
• (Carlton) "Because I'm bigger than you."
• (Will) "See, that's not fair. That's only 'cause you got them shoe lifts in today."
• (Carlton) "They're not lifts. I doubled up on my Odor-Eaters."
• (Ashley Banks) "Here, Hilary, you take it out."
• (Hilary) "Out where?"
• (Ashley Banks) "To the trash cans. You know, those things you hit every time you back out the car?"
• (Hilary) "Oh, thank God. I thought it was the neighbor's kids."
• (Hilary) "THIS IS GROSS. I don't touch greasy, disgusting things."
• (Will) "Well, just pretend it's buying you dinner afterwards."
• (Hilary) "You take it."
• (Will) "Yo, girl."
• (Hilary) "And for your information, dinner comes first."
• (Will) "Oh, it's like that, right? You're just gonna slam garbage at me."
• (Phillip Banks) "Good morning, Will."
• (Will) "Good morning, Uncle Phil."
• (Will) "Here's your lunch."
• (Phillip Banks) "Thank you."

• (Lisa) "Will? Is that you?"
• (Will) "Well it ain't Fat Albert."

• (Will) "Hey, hey, hey man. Man, have I told you how thin you're lookin' lately?"

• (Hilary Banks) "You were right, Will. Scott is the first guy since Trevor that I really liked, and I guess I just got scared. I guess I had to find something wrong with him."
• (Will) "And that Adams Apple thing is the best you could come up with?"
• (Hilary Banks) "Well, you know I never had a good imagination. I never even had imaginary friends when I was a kid. I used to play with Carlton's. God, they were such dweebs."

• (Unnamed) "The police were doing their job. We were detained a couple hours, and dad came and got us out. The system worked."
• (Will) "I hope you like that system, because you're gonna be seeing a lot more of it in your life."
• (Unnamed) "Not if I bring a map."
• (Will) "Man, you don't get it, do you? A map is not gonna help you. Neither is your Glee Club, or your fancy Bel-Air address, or who your daddy is. They don't care about any of that. They only see one thing."

• (Will) "Now this is a story all about how / my life got twisted, turned upside down, / and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, / I'll tell you how I became the Prince of a town called Bel-Air -- / In West Philadelphia, born and raised / on the playground where I spent most of my days / Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool / and all shooting some b-ball outside of the school / when a couple of guys, they were up to no good / started making trouble in my neighbourhood / I got in one little fight, and my mom got scared / and said "You're moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air." / I whistled for a cab, and when it came near / the license plate said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirror / If anything, I could say that this cab was rare / But I thought: "Nah, forget it. Yo homes, to Bel-air." / I pulled up to a house about seven or eight / and I yelled to the cabby "Yo homes, smell you later." / Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there / to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air."

• (Will) "Hey, you no what, you ain't got to do nothing, Uncle Phil. You know, ain't like I'm still five years old, you know? Ain't like I'm gonna be sitting every night asking my mom 'when's daddy coming home?' You know? Who needs him? Hey, he wasn't there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned it, didn't I? And I got pretty damn good at it too, didn't I, Uncle Phil?"
• (Phillip Banks) "Yeah, you did."
• (Will) "Got to do my first date without him, right? I learned how to ride, I learned how to shave, I learned how to fight without him. I had fourteen great birthdays without him; he never even sent me a damn card. The hell with him."
• (Will) "I didn't need him then, I won't need him now."
• (Phillip Banks) "Will --"
• (Will) "No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'm gonna get through college without him, I'm gonna get a great job without him, I'm gonna marry me a beautiful honey and I'm having a whole bunch of kids. I'm gonna be a better father than he ever was. And I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause there ain't a damn thing he can teach me about how to love my kids."
• (Will) "How come he don't want me, man?"

• (Phillip Banks) "Carlton, you are grounded for a month. Will, added to the month that you already have, it should take you into Fiscal '91."

• (Will) "Hey Hil', what's so funny?"
• (Hilary) "Oh, Carlton just told a joke."
• (Will) "No, Hilary, Carlton is a joke."

• (Phillip Banks) "Did you see the way he was dressed?"
• (Vivian Banks) "What's wrong with it?"
• (Phillip Banks) "You hear that language?"
• (Vivian Banks) "We used slang when we were kids. Do you remember our first date? You took one look at me and said, "That is a bad dress." You could've just said it was a good dress."
• (Phillip Banks) "I could have, if I liked it. Actually, it was a bad dress."

• (Phillip Banks) "Will, going to college isn't just about finding a job. It's about finding yourself, and finding what you do best that makes a contribution to the community. It shouldn't be just about money."
• (Will) "You really believe that, Uncle Phil?"
• (Phillip Banks) "Yes, son, I really do."
• (Will) "Then how do you explain becoming a lawyer?"

• (Phillip Banks) "Penn State would've been my first choice if my applications to Princeton, Yale, and Talledega Tech had fallen through."
• (Dr. Hoover) "You must have been an athlete in your thinner days."

• (Will) "Jean Claude Van Dam I'm fine."

• (Will) "Yo, Judge, Judge, check it, Judge. I was umm -- working if you could help a brother out -- ummm -- he's got like two grand worth of parking tickets, ummm --"
• (Will) "I-I thought he was selling condoms."

• (Will) "Carlton, you'll never guess what happened."
• (Carlton) "well there's no since in me playing is there."

• (Carlton) "I guess it's ok to share my will."
• (Unnamed) "Carlton, I'm not dead yet."
• (Carlton) "It's a cruel world big guy and you can't be in it forever."

• (Will) "Uncle Phil. Man. How are you doing?"
• (Geoffrey) "I am not your uncle Philip --"
• (Will) "My fault, man. I must have got the wrong crib. I didn't know there were so many brothers living in this neighborhood. We're doing all right, huh?"
• (Geoffrey) "You have the right house. I am Geoffrey, your uncle's butler."
• (Will) "Okay. Well, I-"
• (Will) ""Cheerio" and all that rot."

• (Will) "My horoscope says that I'm gonna be a famous rapper with a TV show."
• (Hilary Banks) "Those things are stupid. What does mine say?"
• (Will) "Yours says "Be prepared for a fall. Remember, accidents may happen.""
• (Hilary Banks) "Those things are stupid."
• (Will) "I wonder what I'll name my TV show."

• (Carlton) "Well, someone has her rude hat on tonight."

• (Will) "Am I alone in this, or did y'all know he was white? I mean; tall."

• (Jazz) "I'm starvin'. When do we eat here?"
• (Phillip Banks) "We eat here later, you eat here never."
• (Jazz) "Looks like you eat here often."

• (Philip Banks) "When the press hears about this they're going to have a field day."
• (Judge Robertson) "Oh, I hope so. This is just the beginning. You know, I was looking through your police file, and bingo. Up pops your nephew. Parking tickets up the ying-yang. So I busted his bony butt. Pretty good, eh?"
• (Philip Banks) "Excuse me?"
• (Judge Robertson) "Oh wake up, knucklehead. You're in the big leagues now. I may be old, I may be senile, and I haven't been able to find my car for the past half hour, but I can beat you in a political campaign any day. You're dead meat, "Tiny"."

• (Vivian Banks) "I can't do this anymore."
• (Will) "Look, me neither. I mean, getting woke up in the middle of the night by a naked man running around the house."
• (Geoffrey) "I'm sorry. I thought you were all asleep."
• (Will) "Not you, G --"
• (Geoffrey) "Oh, never mind."
• (Vivian Banks) "Look, now, everybody calm down. False alarms happen all the time."
• (Will) "But Uncle Phil was naked Aunt Viv."
• (Phillip Banks) "Shut up, Will."

• (Will) "I got in one little fight, and my mom got scared / and said "You're moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air." / I begged and pleaded with her day after day / but she packed my suitcase and send me on my way / She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket / I put my Walkman on and said, "I might as well kick it." / First class, yo this is bad / Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass / Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like? / Hmmmmm, this might be alright --"

• (Phillip Banks) "Hit the road, you little tramp."

• (Will) "Hey, Carlton. Carlton. Carlton, listen. Something terrible has happened, man. Come on, I gotta get you to the hospital."
• (Carlton) "Why? This is the greatest night of my --"
• (Unnamed) "CARLTON."
• (Will) "YO. Carlton, man --"

• (Hilary) "What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess?"

• (Phillip Banks) "Dr. Hoover, the school where you got your degree, did you find it on the back of a matchbook?"
• (Dr. Hoover) "Penn State, my brother."
• (Phillip Banks) "Really? Good school. I was thinking of going there if my scholarship to Princeton, Yale, Warton, and Talladega Tech had fallen through."
• (Dr. Hoover) "Impressive, you must of been quite an athlete in your thinner days."
• (Phillip Banks) "Hey, hey, lets stick to the topic okay?"
• (Dr. Hoover) "Fine. Speaking as a doctor, I think your daughter should be heavily sedated and immediately institutionalized."
• (Phillip Banks) "Well speaking as a lawyer, I can only say that your daughter fits the criminal profile to a T, right down to the sloping forehead, and the wide jaws suitable for grains and small rodents."
• (Dr. Hoover) "I think you have her confused with your moma."
• (Will) "That's it Uncle Phil, your grounded."
• (Will) "You know, I'd be happy to perscribe something for that."

• (Will) "That's right. You'd best to press on before you get straight molly-wopped up in here."

• (Hilary) "Guess what?"
• (Will) "You bought your own dinner?"
• (Hilary) "Are you insane?"

• (Carlton) "Whoa, hold on mister, you're all over the map."

• (Unnamed) "Excuse me, what's a nine-letter word for "Terrific?""
• (Will) "That's easy: "Will Smith.""

• (Will) "Girl, if God created anything less beautiful than you, I hope He kept it for Himself."

• (Will) "Now, come on, the only way that my plan is gonna work is if you follow my instructions to the letter."
• (Carlton) "Great. What are the instructions?"
• (Will) ""Shut The Hell Up.""

• (Will) "Yo, this is better than Love Boat. This boy gonna be maxing and relaxing."
• (Phillip Banks) "Hold on just a minute, son. We promised your mother that you're here to work hard, straighten out and learn some good old-fashioned American values --"
• (Hilary) "Dad, I need $300."

• (Geoffrey) "Sarcasm? Whatever do you mean?"

• (Will) "Oh my God, Carlton. What's that hideous thing growing out of your neck?"
• (Carlton) "Where? Where?"
• (Will) "Ah, never mind. It's just your head."

• (Hilary) "Geoffrey, what do you know about wine?"
• (Geoffrey) "I know no-one does it better than you, Miss Hilary."

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