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The Great Race Quotes

The Great Race is a TV show that first aired in 1970 . The Great Race stopped airing in 1970.

It features Martin Jurow as producer, Henry Mancini in charge of musical score, and Russell Harlan as head of cinematography.

The Great Race is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Great Race is 160 minutes long. The Great Race is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Tony Curtis as Leslie, Jack Lemmon as Fate, Jack Lemmon as Professor Fate, George Macready as General, Dorothy Provine as Lily Olay, Peter Falk as Max, Jack Lemmon as Prince Hapnick, Natalie Wood as Maggie DuBois, Ross Martin as Baron von Stuppe, Arthur O'Connell as Henry Goodbody, Vivian Vance as Hester Goodbody, and Larry Storch as Texas Jack.

The Great Race Quotes

Jack Lemmon as Professor Fate

  • (Jack Lemmon) "What'd I tell you? I said she'd win the race for us, the bubble-headed vixen."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "The eternal struggle takes time, Max."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "You. You're the cause of it all. It was your idea."
  • (George Macready) "No, no your highness -- Baron von Schtupp"
  • (Prince Hapnik) "I don't care, I don't care. You're banished. I'm getting a new tucker-inner. Banished, banished, banished."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "The world is mine."
  • (Peter Falk) "The world is ours."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "What is the word for "friends"?"
  • (Natalie Wood) "Professor --"
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Shut up."
  • (Peter Falk) "I don't know the language."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Well, get the dictionary."
  • (Peter Falk) "Dictionary. Right."
  • (Peter Falk) "I got it, I got it."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "What is it, what is it?"
  • (Peter Falk) "I can't pronounce it."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Very simple. Dru -- Druz --"
  • (Natalie Wood) "Druzya."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Druzya --"
  • (Natalie Wood) "I speak, read, and write French -- Russian -- and Arabic."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Push the button, Max."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "umm -- brandy. Throw more brandy, throw brandy. More brandy. Brandy."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "umm -- rum. I never mix my pies."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Sh-sh-sh-sh-shut up."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "I'd like to see the great Leslie try that."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "You cheated. Cheated. I hate you. I refuse to accept. I won't win any way but my way. You've ruined my reputation, do you hear? You I hate. You and your hair that's always combed, your suit that's always white, your car that's always clean. I refuse to accept. I challenge you to another race."
  • (Tony Curtis) "Get off my hood."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Another race."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Leslie escaped?"
  • (George Macready) "With a small friar."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Leslie escaped with a chicken?"
  • (Jack Lemmon) "I am Professor Fate."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Maaaax."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "She's his Achilles heel, she's our ace in the hole; she must not be left behind."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "I won't do it."
  • (George Macready) "Then you leave us no alternative."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "I'll do it."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "What's next?"
  • (Peter Falk) "Car number five, the engine falls out."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Car number five. Ha ha ha ha."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Er, Max -- we're number five."
  • (Unnamed) "He's lucky Texas Jack ain't around -- he'd gun that dude for sure."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Pardon me, Mr. Pahd-nuh, who is this Texas Jack?"
  • (Unnamed) "WHO'S TEXAS JACK?"
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Who?"
  • (Unnamed) "The roughest, toughest gunslinger in these parts -- Lilly's his girl."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Whoo, hoo, hoo -- Lilly's his girl."
  • (Peter Falk) "Terrific --"
  • (Jack Lemmon) "You're wasting your time."
  • (Tony Curtis) "Perhaps."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "We're melting."
  • (Tony Curtis) "Slowly."
  • (Peter Falk) "We're gonna sink."
  • (Tony Curtis) "Eventually."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Then you're wasting your time."

Tony Curtis as Leslie

  • (Tony Curtis) "Minutes have made the difference in survival, Miss DuBois."
  • (Tony Curtis) "I'm offering you a lift."
  • (Tony Curtis) "Or would you prefer an engraved invitation?"
  • (Natalie Wood) "I might consider an apology."
  • (Tony Curtis) "An apology? For what? It's twenty miles back to Borracho, you'd never make it."
  • (Natalie Wood) "Well, that's your fault."
  • (Tony Curtis) "MY fault?"
  • (Tony Curtis) "Are you a native of Borracho?"
  • (Dorothy Provine) "I ain't no native, I was born here."
  • (Tony Curtis) "You better keep it to yourself."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Oh, of course I'll keep it to myself."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Until the water reaches my lower lip, and then I'm going to mention it to somebody."
  • (Tony Curtis) "It's just that you bear an uncanny resemblance to someone we both know."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Someone who looks like me?"
  • (Tony Curtis) "Yes, sir."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Poor fellow."
  • (Tony Curtis) "I was once on an anthropological expedition to study the Kwakiutl Indians. In the winter, one Kwakiutl Indian in a blanket froze, but two Kwakiutl Indians in the same blanket --"
  • (Natalie Wood) "Yes?"
  • (Tony Curtis) "-- Were warmer."

Natalie Wood as Maggie DuBois

  • (Natalie Wood) "I want to thank you again for this opportunity, Mr. Goodbody."
  • (Arthur O'Connell) "I had very little choice after your conversation with my wife."
  • (Vivian Vance) "Henry, if you can't be more gracious, shut up."
  • (Natalie Wood) "You mean amazing because I'm a woman."
  • (Natalie Wood) "You lost."
  • (Tony Curtis) "Only the race."
  • (Natalie Wood) "And because I consider myself sexually free and morally emancipated, I am still a responsible, discriminating woman who does not intend to jump into bed with the first wavy-haired, muscle-bound, egocentric male who thinks he can seduce me by agreeing with some of the things I believe in."
  • (Tony Curtis) "I only wanted to kiss you."
  • (Natalie Wood) "Why?"
  • (Tony Curtis) "Because I love you, that's why."
  • (Natalie Wood) "Ha."
  • (Tony Curtis) "You don't believe me, huh?"
  • (Natalie Wood) "I do not."
  • (Natalie Wood) "What are you doing?"
  • (Tony Curtis) "Proving that I love you."
  • (Natalie Wood) "But you'll lose the race."
  • (Tony Curtis) "Can you think of a better way to prove it?"
  • (Natalie Wood) "Max, you little rat. I'll get you for this."

George Macready as General

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Ross Martin as Baron von Stuppe

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Larry Storch as Texas Jack

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Peter Falk as Max

  • (Peter Falk) "Rise and shine, Professor."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "You rise. You shine."
  • (Peter Falk) "You give 'em beads, that makes 'em friendly."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Obviously, they don't know who I am."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "I AM PROFESSOR FATE."
  • (Peter Falk) "Wanna try the beads?"
  • (Peter Falk) "C'mon Professor. Go, Go."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Relax. This time I'm going to win it my way. Push the button Max."
  • (Peter Falk) "Professor, where are you?"
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Behind the rock."
  • (Peter Falk) "Behind which rock?"
  • (Jack Lemmon) "This rock, you idiot."
  • (Peter Falk) "Here come the Marines."
  • (Peter Falk) "A Parachute?"
  • (Peter Falk) "Would you like me to feed you?"
  • (Peter Falk) "Red sky. Gonna be a storm."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "What are you babbling about?"
  • (Peter Falk) "Red sky in the morning, sailor take warning."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Why, you simple-headed gherkin, do you know the chances of a storm in this part of the world at this time of the year?"
  • (Peter Falk) "No, what?"
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Hundred to one."
  • (Peter Falk) "Red sky in the morning, sailor take warning."
  • (Jack Lemmon) "Why you idiot."

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