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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (film) Quotes

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (film) is a television show that debuted in 1970 . The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ended in 1970.

It features Joby Talbot in charge of musical score, and Igor Jadue-Lillo as head of cinematography.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom, and United States. Each episode of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (film) is 109 minutes long. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (film) is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Martin Freeman as Arthur, Bill Nighy as Slartibartfast, Mos Def as Ford, Zooey Deschanel as Trillian, Sam Rockwell as Zaphod, Warwick Davis as Marvin, Martin Freeman as Arthur Dent, John Malkovich as Humma Kavula, and Anna Chancellor as Questular Rontok.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (film) Quotes

Sam Rockwell as Zaphod

  • (Sam Rockwell) "WOW. Is this gonna happen every time we hit that button?"
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Very probably, yes."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "I'm sensing a lot of hostility from you, Alex."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Arthur."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Have you ever tried yoga?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Far out."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Oh Deep Thought. We have travelled long -- and far. Have you calculated the ultimate question?"
  • (Deep Thought) "No. I've been watching the TV."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Let's trip the Light Fantastic, baby, just you and me."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Why so edgy, baby doll? Relax."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Why so edgy? You wanna know why I'm edgy?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Of course you're edgy. Your planet's been blown up and you've been tooling round the galaxy with the guy who signed the order. You actually wanted to know the question because you always wondered if there was more to life and now you're crushed because you find out there really isn't."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Hey, fantastic. Psychedelic."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "You have no home and no family and now you're stuck with me, another in a long line of men who doesn't really get you."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "That's not true."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "And you're worried that you might have blown it with the one guy who really does."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Oh, baby doll. Give me that thing."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "It won't affect me. I'm already a woman."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Hey. Is this guy boring you? Why don't you come talk to me instead? I'm from a different planet. Seriously."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "You want to see my spaceship?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Hey. Sorry to hear about your planet. What was it called again?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Earth."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Yeah, Earth. I liked Earth. I got these boots on Earth. Anyway, don't tell the girl, OK? Cause if you do, I'll pull your spleen out through your throat."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "He did say the gray building, right?"
  • (Mos Def) "All the buildings are gray."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Circus. Circus."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Have you calculated the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything?"
  • (Deep Thought) "No. I've been watching TV. I built another computer to do that."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Oh, right, I forgot. Is it here?"
  • (Deep Thought) "No, it's not here. It's another world."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "It's on another world --"
  • (Deep Thought) "It is another world, stupid. Or it was until the Vogons destroyed it for a hyperspace expressway."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Well, Okay. You sure you don't have the question, or a way to, you know, access it or something? 'Cause I think I've done a lot to get here."
  • (Deep Thought) "Oh, shh, shh. The show's back on."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Well, I don't wanna bother you, so I'm gonna -- Good stuff. Great."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "I'm gonna go and find something else for my entire life to be about."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "If there's anything around here more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "That doesn't sound good."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Hey slim, are you wearing my underwear? 'Cause I'm wearing yours, and they're not doing the trick."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "We just hit that button and whoo. Magrathea. I think, I mean we've hit it twice and we're still not there."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "I can't do this without my third arm."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Some parts of my character weren't what you'd call presidential."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "This is it. I have a hunch."
  • (Mos Def) "His hunches are good."
  • (Congregation) "Oh mighty Arkleseizure, thou gazed from high above. And sneezed from out thy nostrils, a gift of bounteous love. The universe around us emerged from thy nose. Now we await with eager expectation, thy handkerchief, to bring us back to thee."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Hello Humma."
  • (John Malkovich) "Let us pray. Oh mighty one, we raise our noses to you blocked and unblown, send the handkerchief O blessed one that we may be wiped clean."
  • (John Malkovich) "Bless you."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "He's a guest on my ship. He's a guest on my shiiiip."
  • (Mos Def) "I thought you said you stole it."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "She digs me."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "I like those jammies."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Who are we waiting for again?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "No, I'm serious."

Bill Nighy as Slartibartfast

  • (Bill Nighy) "Ever heard of a place, I think it's called Norway? That was one of mine, I got an an award for it."
  • (Bill Nighy) "That's Frank."
  • (Bill Nighy) "I must warn you, we're going to pass through, well, a sort of gateway thing."
  • (Martin Freeman) "What?"
  • (Bill Nighy) "It may disturb you. It scares the willies out of me."
  • (Bill Nighy) "Earthman, you must realize that the planet you lived on was commissioned, paid for and run by mice."
  • (Martin Freeman) "When you say mice, do you mean the little furry white creatures with whiskers, ears, cheese?"
  • (Bill Nighy) "Yeah, but they're protrusions into our dimension of hyper-intelligent beings. I don't know this cheese of which you speak, but they were there on Earth as mice experimenting on you."
  • (Martin Freeman) "I see where you've become confused now. You see, we were experimenting on them."
  • (Bill Nighy) "Ah, no, well, yeah, no. That's what they wanted you to think, but you were actually elements in their computer program."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Actually, this explains a lot. All my life I've had this strange feeling there's something big and sinister going on in the world."
  • (Bill Nighy) "No, that's normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe gets that."
  • (Bill Nighy) "Best laid plans of mice."
  • (Martin Freeman) "And men."
  • (Bill Nighy) "What?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Best laid plans of mice and men."
  • (Bill Nighy) "Oh. No, I don't think men had much to do with it."
  • (Bill Nighy) "Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I think that the chances of finding out what's actually going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it," and keep yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy than right any day."
  • (Martin Freeman) "And are you?"
  • (Bill Nighy) "Ah, no."
  • (Bill Nighy) "Well, that's where it all falls down, of course."

Martin Freeman as Arthur

  • (Martin Freeman) "I have to say, without the beard you look at least 80 years younger."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Well, maybe I'm de-evolving?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Ha ha."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Ha ha."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Well, I should inform you that I don't date single-celled organisms."
  • (Martin Freeman) "It's a big-biggy Ford, a big-biggy. I mean what if it rips us all into tiny little atomic particle things?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "This is the right one. I have a hunch."
  • (Mos Def) "His hunches are good. Arthur. I say we go."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Go with a hunch of a man who's brain is fueled by lemons?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "It must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Ford?"
  • (Mos Def) "Yeah?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "I think I'm a sofa --"
  • (Mos Def) "I know how you feel --"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Here I was thinking I was the only one who considered your boyfriend a narcissistic moron, when apparently the whole galaxy does."
  • (Martin Freeman) "All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world."
  • (Bill Nighy) "No, that's perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe gets that."
  • (Jeltz) "Either die in the vacuum of space, or tell me what you thought of my poem."
  • (Martin Freeman) "A -- a -- actually, I rather liked it."
  • (Jeltz) "Hmm?"
  • (Mos Def) "Yeah. That's good. Run with it."
  • (Jeltz) "Hmmm?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Uh, some of the words I didn't understand, but I found the imagery quite effective."
  • (Jeltz) "Continue --"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Well, uh, yes, interesting rhythmic devices, which seemed to counterpoint the underlying metaphor of the humanity of, of the poet's soul."
  • (Jeltz) "So what you're saying is, I write poetry because underneath this mean, callous, heartless exterior, I just want to be loved?"
  • (Mos Def) "Yes, yes, yes."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Yes, yes, yeah, please."
  • (Jeltz) "Throw them off the ship."
  • (Lunkwill) "Drink up."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Thank you."
  • (Fook) "Now, to business."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "To business."
  • (Fook) "Eat."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Sorry."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Normality? We can talk about normality until the cows come home."
  • (Mos Def) "What is normal?"
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "What is home?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "What're cows?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "See, normally I hate those sorts of parties. I'd much rather stay at home, I don't know, ironing me hankies."
  • (Martin Freeman) "I think that door just sighed."
  • (Warwick Davis) "Ghastly, isn't it? All the doors on this spaceship have been programmed to have a cheery and sunny disposition."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Let's go somewhere."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Definitely. Where'd you have in mind?"
  • (Mos Def) "I know this great restaurant at the end of the universe."
  • (Eddie the Computer) "Guys, I am just pleased as punch to inform you that there are two thermo-nuclear missiles headed this way -- if you don't mind, I'm gonna go ahead and take evasive action"
  • (Martin Freeman) "COMPUTER DO SOMETHING."
  • (Eddie the Computer) "Sure thing fella. Switching over to manual control -- good luck."
  • (Martin Freeman) "A cup of tea would restore my normality."
  • (Mr. Prosser) "Do you know how much damage this bulldozer would sustain if I just let it roll over you?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "How much?"
  • (Mr. Prosser) "None at all."
  • (Martin Freeman) "I think I'm gonna be sick."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Hey, do it in the trash can, Earth man, this ship is brand new."
  • (Martin Freeman) "So you're not from Guildford. Which would explain the accent."
  • (Martin Freeman) "So this is it. We're going to die"
  • (Mos Def) "Yes. Would you like a hug?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "No."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Just wait a sodding minute. You want a question that goes with the answer for 42? Well, how about what's six times seven? Or how many Vogons does it take to change a lightbulb? Here's one. How many roads must a man walk down?"
  • (Lunkwill) "Hey, that's not bad."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Fine. Fine, take it. Because my head is filled with questions and I can assure you no answer to any one of them has ever brought me one iota of happiness. Except for one. The one. The only question I've ever wanted an answer to; is she the one? The answer bloody well isn't forty-two, it's yes. Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashedly yes. And for one week, one week in my sad little blip of an existence, it made me happy."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "That's a good answer --"
  • (Lunkwill) "Rubbish, we don't want to be happy, we want to be famous."
  • (Fook) "Yeah. What is all this "is she the one" tripe?"
  • (Lunkwill) "Take his brain."
  • (Martin Freeman) "I'm sorry, did you just say you needed my brain?"
  • (Fook) "Yes, to complete the program."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Well, you can't have it, I'm using it."
  • (Fook) "Hardly."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Cheeky mouse --"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Humma Kavula is person? I thought he was swearing."

Warwick Davis as Marvin

  • (Warwick Davis) "I don't know what you're all worried about. Vogons are the worst marksmen in the galaxy."
  • (Warwick Davis) "Now I've got a headache."
  • (Warwick Davis) "This will all end in tears."
  • (Warwick Davis) "Don't see what the big deal is -- Vogons are some of the worst shots in the galaxy --"
  • (Warwick Davis) "Now I've got a headache."
  • (Warwick Davis) "I told you this would all end in tears."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Did you? Did you?"
  • (Warwick Davis) "Not that anyone cares what I say, but the restaurant is at the other end of the Universe."
  • (Warwick Davis) "I have a million ideas, but, they all point to certain death."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Thanks very much, Marv."
  • (Warwick Davis) "Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they ask me to take you to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction, 'cause I don't."
  • (Warwick Davis) "Incredible -- it's even worse than I thought it would be."
  • (Warwick Davis) "Freeze? I'm a robot. I'm not a refrigerator."
  • (Warwick Davis) "Life? Don't talk to me about life."
  • (Warwick Davis) "You can blame the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation for making androids with GPP --"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Um -- what's GPP?"
  • (Warwick Davis) "Genuine People Personalities. I'm a personality prototype. You can tell, can't you?"

Zooey Deschanel as Trillian

  • (Zooey Deschanel) "I have the president and I will kill him, I swear I will."
  • (Jeltz) "Could that actually kill him?"
  • (Anna Chancellor) "I don't think so. It's an aerosol can."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Well, this is weird."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "I have a plan."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Does it involve pushing him out there and then running the other way?"
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "So much for the laws of physics."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Let's go somewhere."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Where did you have in mind?"
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Madagascar."
  • (Martin Freeman) "That new club on Dean Street?"
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "No, it's a country. Off the coast of Africa."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "You idiot. You signed the order to destroy Earth."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "I did?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "He did?"
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Love and kisses Zaphod? You didn't even read it, did you?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Well, I'm president, I don't have a lot of time for reading."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "My whole planet destroyed because you thought someone wanted your autograph."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "See this? This detects what you're craving and makes it for you. And this? This toasts bread while you're slicing it. We're on a space ship Arthur. In space."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Marvin -- you saved our lives."
  • (Warwick Davis) "I know. Wretched, isn't it?"
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "How badly does it hurt?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "It doesn't feel great."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "I should have said it resembles tea."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Who are you?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Er, Dent, Arthur Dent."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "No, I mean who are you?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "Oh, the costume. Er, Livingston I presume. Yeah. Not as good as Darwin I know but the best I could manage at short notice."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "You're the first person whose gotten that right. Everyone keeps calling me Santa."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Really?"
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "Yeah, and I thought the beagle made it a dead giveaway."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Well, I suppose most of the people who come to these parties are idiots."
  • (Zooey Deschanel) "What?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "I said all these people are idiots."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Oh god --"

Mos Def as Ford

  • (Mos Def) "Workers of the earth. I bring -- good tidings of peanuts. And beer."
  • (Barman) "Did you say the world is coming to an end? Shouldn't we all lie on the floor or put paper bags over our heads?"
  • (Mos Def) "If you like."
  • (Barman) "Will it help?"
  • (Mos Def) "Not at all."
  • (Barman) "Last orders, please."
  • (Mos Def) "Wash your filthy hands."
  • (Mos Def) "Don't panic -- don't panic --"
  • (Martin Freeman) "So this is it. We're gonna die."
  • (Mos Def) "Yeah. We're gonna die."
  • (Mos Def) "No -- no. What's this?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "What's that?"
  • (Mos Def) "What's this? What's this?"
  • (Mos Def) "This -- is -- nothing. Yeah, we're gonna die."
  • (Mos Def) "Is that it?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "No, there's more. They go back."
  • (Martin Freeman) "What, seven and a half million years later?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Yeah, they do."
  • (Mos Def) "What's with the whole two-head thing?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Oh, yeah, apparently you can't be president with a whole brain."
  • (Mos Def) "We must talk."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Not now, Ford. They're gonna demolish my home."
  • (Mos Def) "Whoah. Whoah. Whoah. You know already?"
  • (Mos Def) "Oh, they. When you say "they" you mean they."
  • (Eddie the Computer) "Engaging Infinite Improbability Drive --"
  • (Mos Def) "No, no, no -- Zaphod, buttons aren't toys. What did you do?"
  • (Mos Def) "If you want to survive out here, you've got to know where your towel is."
  • (Mos Def) "You don't remember. Arthur, your whole planet has been destroyed."
  • (Martin Freeman) "Couldn't you have done something?"
  • (Mos Def) "I saved your life."
  • (Mos Def) "Didn't you think it was strange I was trying to shake hands with a car?"
  • (Martin Freeman) "I assumed you were drunk."
  • (Mos Def) "I thought cars were the dominant lifeform. I was trying to introduce myself."
  • (Mos Def) "You're sweating."
  • (Mos Def) "You're looking for the Ultimate Question."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Yep."
  • (Mos Def) "You."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Me."
  • (Mos Def) "Why?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "No, I tried that: Why? 42. Doesn't work."
  • (Mos Def) "Okay, don't think. Nobody think. No ideas. No theories. No nothing."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Ow."
  • (Mos Def) "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so."

John Malkovich as Humma Kavula

  • (John Malkovich) "What does Zaphod Beeblebrox treasure most?"
  • (John Malkovich) "The election is ancient history, Zaphod. If memory serves, you won, proving that good looks and charm win over brilliance and the ability to govern. And for the record? You are stupid."
  • (John Malkovich) "Zaphod Beeblebrox, our infamous President. What brings you to our humble planet?"
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Oh, I think you know why I'm here."
  • (John Malkovich) "No, I don't think I do."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "I think you think you don't. But we both know, you do."
  • (John Malkovich) "Eloquent as always. Your ability to articulate never ceases to amaze."
  • (John Malkovich) "Even an improbability drive needs coordinates which I happen to have."

Anna Chancellor as Questular Rontok

  • (Anna Chancellor) "She's lying. She's skinny, and she's pretty, and she's lying."
  • (Anna Chancellor) "Mr President. Oh, thank god. I tried to prevent all this from happening, but forces beyond my control made it impossible for me to stop them. And even stronger forces are making it impossible for me to stop doing this right now."
  • (Sam Rockwell) "Zarquon, woman. Are you insane? You're my vice-president. In the name of liberty, and freedom, and people, and -- stuff -- let's do that again."

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