The Impostors Quotes

The Impostors is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . The Impostors completed its run in 1970.

It features Elizabeth W. Alexander, as producer, and William Cook in charge of musical score.

The Impostors is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Impostors is 101 minutes long. The Impostors is distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures.

The cast includes: Hope Davis as Emily, Steve Buscemi as Happy Franks, Billy Connolly as Sparks, Stanley Tucci as Arthur, Oliver Platt as Maurice, Campbell Scott as Meistrich, Matt McGrath as Marco, Alfred Molina as Sir Jeremy Burtom, Woody Allen as Audition Director, Teagle F. Bougere as Sheik, Dana Ivey as Mrs. Essendine, Matt Malloy as Mike, Allan Corduner as Captain, Lewis J. Stadlen as Bandleader, Allison Janney as Maxine, and Richard Jenkins as Johnny Leguard.

The Impostors Quotes

Lewis J. Stadlen as Bandleader

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Teagle F. Bougere as Sheik

• (Teagle F. Bougere) "In my country, we kill the insane."

Campbell Scott as Meistrich

• (Campbell Scott) "May I have this next dance?"
• (Unnamed) "Actually, I --"
• (Campbell Scott) "EXCELLENT."

• (Campbell Scott) "The danger of the chase has made you perspire. It has made me also -- moist."

• (Campbell Scott) "I will hurt them for causing you pain."

Allan Corduner as Captain

• (Allan Corduner) "All aboard."

• (Allan Corduner) "I'm always a little sad."

Billy Connolly as Sparks

• (Billy Connolly) "Perhaps we should wrestle sometime. Do you like the taut roundness that exercise brings to the buttocks?"
• (Oliver Platt) "Yeah."
• (Billy Connolly) "Do you enjoy the warmth of the Mediterranean sun on that self-same place? I once wrestled a man on the steps of the Acropolis, when the sun was at its height, wearing only what God sent me into the world with. Can you picture that? That's where we'll wrestle, my semi-Grecian lad. That's where I'll make a man of you."

• (Billy Connolly) "I jest, I jive."

• (Billy Connolly) "Are either of you Greek?"
• (Stanley Tucci) "No."
• (Oliver Platt) "Well, yes, actually I'm half-Greek."
• (Billy Connolly) "Top half or bottom half?"

• (Billy Connolly) "Was that your best shot, savage gypsy lover?"

• (Billy Connolly) "Do you feel that grip?"
• (Unnamed) "I do sir. I do."
• (Billy Connolly) "Powerful enough to snap the neck of a small beast, and yet sensitive enough to caress the tender throat of a young castrato. Coax a song out of him."

Stanley Tucci as Arthur

• (Stanley Tucci) "What a fool you are."
• (Unnamed) "I am not a fool."
• (Stanley Tucci) "Oh, yes you are."
• (Oliver Platt) "Sir, you really sholdn't talk to this gentleman that way. You like the cream puffs. I don't like the cream puffs."
• (Stanley Tucci) "f*** THE CREAM PUFFS. THIS MAN IS A SLAVE AND AN IDIOT."

• (Stanley Tucci) "Please, sir, I want some more. Y'see, sir, I've not eaten for fourteen days since me mum died of the group."
• (Oliver Platt) "Croup."
• (Stanley Tucci) "Croup. Of the croup, she died, leaving me and my mentally ill brother, 'ere, to fend for ourselves. Murdered, she was, in 'er bed by one of 'er johns. Y'see, sir, she sold 'erself to feed us. She compromised 'erself for oursakes, leaving us all alone and 'ungry and 'omeless and my poor brother needs a brain operation and my glaucoma's gettin' worse and sir -- SIR --. SIR? I can't see you sir. I can't see you sir. AHH -- AHH -- I'M BLIND --. AHHHHHHH."

• (Stanley Tucci) "My point is, sir, that you would not know a good creampuff if it jumped up and licked you on the ass."

Alfred Molina as Sir Jeremy Burtom

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Hope Davis as Emily

• (Hope Davis) "Do you know the gentleman who stole your wife?"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Danny Sussman"
• (Hope Davis) "Excuse me"
• (Steve Buscemi) "He was my agent"
• (Hope Davis) "some agent"
• (Steve Buscemi) "he was a great agent. I loved him like a brother, i loved my wife like a mother and a hooker, and look where its got me, alone, afraid, and I just wanna die"
• (Hope Davis) "don't give up Hap, don't wanna die"

• (Hope Davis) "Do you know the gentleman who stole your wife?"
• (Steve Buscemi) "Danny Sussman."
• (Hope Davis) "Excuse me?"
• (Steve Buscemi) "He was my agent."
• (Hope Davis) "Some agent."
• (Steve Buscemi) "He was a great agent. I loved him like a brother, I loved my wife like a mother and a hooker, and look where its got me, alone, afraid, and I just wanna die."
• (Hope Davis) "Don't give up Hap, don't wanna die."

Steve Buscemi as Happy Franks

• (Steve Buscemi) "Don't kid a kidder, kid."

• (Steve Buscemi) "People are afraid of what they want,of war, of pestilence, of dogs. I say; don't fear those things; they aren't real. You want something to fear? Love. Fear love. If you're gonna be afraid, do it when someone says:"
• (Hope Davis) "I love you."
• (Allison Janney) "Je t'aime."
• (Campbell Scott) "Ich liebe dich."
• (Unnamed) "I love you."

Matt Malloy as Mike

• (Matt Malloy) "Drunken son a bitch."

Oliver Platt as Maurice

• (Oliver Platt) "I hate them."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, I'm sorry; to each his own. There's another bakery shop down the block whose wares might be more to your liking. Thank you for coming in."
• (Unnamed) "May I help you, sir?"
• (Stanley Tucci) "Yes, would you excuse me a moment? I'm sorry,"
• (Stanley Tucci) "I couldn't help but overhear, excuse me, sir, um, but may I say that your rudeness to this hard-working gentleman is uncalled for."
• (Unnamed) "Please, sir"
• (Oliver Platt) "I beg your pardon."
• (Stanley Tucci) "No, I beg yours, sir. I happen to know that this gentleman"
• (Stanley Tucci) "is one of the finest pastry chefs on the Eastern seaboard."
• (Unnamed) "Well, thank you."
• (Stanley Tucci) "You're welcome."
• (Unnamed) "Do I know you?"
• (Stanley Tucci) "Of course you do."
• (Oliver Platt) "What's your point?"
• (Stanley Tucci) "My point is, sir, that you would not know a good creampuff if it jumped up and licked you on the ass."
• (Oliver Platt) "Well --"
• (Unnamed) "Sir, it's just a difference in taste."
• (Stanley Tucci) "No, no. this man is clearly an imbecile."
• (Oliver Platt) "Ah, an insult."
• (Oliver Platt) "I'm in-I'm insulted?"
• (Stanley Tucci) "Yes."
• (Oliver Platt) "I'm insulted. Well, I am."
• (Stanley Tucci) "Oh, well good-good-good-good. Well, I'm glad you are. But I'm sure you're not as insulted as this gentleman."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, I'm not insulted."
• (Stanley Tucci) "Oh, yes you are. The man works all day like a mule to support his miserable family."
• (Unnamed) "Well, here now, my family isn't miserable. We're all quite happy."
• (Stanley Tucci) "No, you're not. You're miserable and pathetic, look at you."
• (Stanley Tucci) "All day, working like a lackey from rise to set sweating in the eye of Phoebus."
• (Unnamed) "I love my work."
• (Stanley Tucci) "No, you don't."

• (Oliver Platt) "I'm a man."
• (Billy Connolly) "So am I."

• (Oliver Platt) "To life."
• (Stanley Tucci) "And its many deaths."

• (Oliver Platt) "I'm sorry."
• (Stanley Tucci) "You stole my death."

• (Unnamed) "You know Paris quite well."
• (Oliver Platt) "He's never been there."
• (Stanley Tucci) "Not physically."

• (Oliver Platt) "So I insult him?"
• (Stanley Tucci) "Yeah, yeah, tell him you think his pastries are no good, okay?"
• (Oliver Platt) "Oh, good idea, good idea."
• (Stanley Tucci) "Yeah. Say that they're stale."
• (Oliver Platt) "Hey, buddy, your pastries are stale."
• (Stanley Tucci) "Right, but don't say buddy, just say ssss -- sss -- you're sss --"
• (Oliver Platt) "Your pastries are stale."
• (Stanley Tucci) "Yeah, you, your pastries are stale."

Richard Jenkins as Johnny Leguard

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Dana Ivey as Mrs. Essendine

• (Dana Ivey) "That philanthropic cocksucker left all the money to the poor and not a dirty dime to me. Oh, Mary, Mother of God, what have I ever done to you? Life -- without money is no god****ed life AT ALL. You know that."

• (Dana Ivey) "I'd tip you, but at the moment, I'm clothing rich and money poor."

Woody Allen as Audition Director

• (Woody Allen) "Yello. Oh, hi, hon. Keep going it's my wife the producer. Hi, hi hon. So ah -- whassup hun? No, it's, ah, it's going well. Hmm, ah, yeah you know, I said I was sorry and I meant it. No, no. That's why I'm not gonna behave like that anymore. Where are you? What are you doing with him? You what? You're saying to me that you're leaving me for him? This is what you're saying to me? Well, yes, naturally I'm shocked. Of course I'm shocked. I, ah -- Does this mean that you're pulling your money out of the show? No. No. I will not find anybody else to put money in this play be -- , everyone thinks it's a piece of s***. Where are you now, be -- because I'm coming down there right now, I'm gonna bite out both your throats."

Matt McGrath as Marco

• (Matt McGrath) "But I've never killed anyone before."
• (Alfred Molina) "Well, you''ll have to f***ing learn."
• (Campbell Scott) "It's really not that hard."

• (Matt McGrath) "He's a gardener?"
• (Stanley Tucci) "What?"
• (Matt McGrath) "Well, how many bulbs did he plant?"

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