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The Job (The Office) Quotes

The Job (The Office) is a television show that debuted in 1970 . The Job ended its run in 1970.

The Job (The Office) Quotes

  • (Dwight Schrute) "What is the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks?"
  • (Stanley Hudson) "The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns."
  • (Jan Levinson) "So long, ass --"
  • (Michael Scott) "Why is my office black?"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "To intimidate my subordinates."
  • (Michael Scott) "That's stupid."
  • (Pam Beesley) "I'm sorry. What was the question?"
  • (Karen Filippelli) "Pam is -- kind of a bitch."
  • (David Wallace) "So I know we left the other day on a note of uncertainty, but after some more thought, I'm very pleased to be able to offer you this job. Great. I'm so glad. We're all very excited you're going to be joining us. It'll be nice to have another MBA around here."
  • (Ryan Howard) "I'm excited, too. Okay. Bye."
  • (Kelly Kapoor) "Who was that?"
  • (Ryan Howard) "Nobody,"
  • (Ryan Howard) "You and I are done."
  • (Kelly Kapoor) "What?"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Once I am officially regional manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable, fictional, and overqualified."
  • (Michael Scott) "Hey, Hunter. Whazzup mah brotha?"
  • (Michael Scott) "This is Hunter, secretary extraordinaire."
  • (Hunter) "Uh, administrative assistant."
  • (Michael Scott) "Jan in yet?"
  • (Hunter) "I think she's coming in later."
  • (Michael Scott) "Can you give her a message for me when she gets in?"
  • (Hunter) "Sure."
  • (Michael Scott) "Just say, "I want to squeeze them". It's code, she'll know what it means."
  • (Hunter) "Okay."
  • (Michael Scott) "Oh, and Hunter? Could you tell her"
  • (Michael Scott) "also?"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "I am going to be your new boss."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "It is my greatest dream come true. Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time is now. Checkout time is never."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Does my room have cable?"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "No. And the sheets are made of fire."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Can I change rooms?"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Sorry, we're all booked up. Hell convention in town."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Can I have a late checkout?"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "I'll have to talk to the manager."
  • (Jim Halpert) "You're not the manager? Even in your own fantasy?"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "I'm the owner. The co-owner. With Satan."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Okay. Just so I understand it, in your wildest fantasy, you are in Hell, and you are co-running a bed-and-breakfast with the Devil."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Yeah, but I haven't told you my salary yet."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Go."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "$80,000 a year."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Although, publicly, I am going to retain the assistant regional manager position."
  • (Pam Beesly) "You will be your own assistant."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Correct. I need someone I can trust."

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