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The King of Queens Quotes

The King of Queens is a Sitcom that first aired in 1998 on CBS. The King of Queens ended in 2007.

The King of Queens was on for 9 seasons and 207 episodes. It features Jim Kukucka as producer, and Andrew Gross (seasons 1-2) as composer. The King of Queens is executive produced by Michael J. Weithorn; David Litt, Tony Sheehan, Kevin James, Jeff Sussman, David Bickel, Ilana Wernick, Chris Downey, Rock Reuben, and Rob Schiller. The King of Queens is created by Michael J. Weithorn; David Litt.

The King of Queens is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The King of Queens is 21-22 minutes long. The King of Queens is produced by Michael J. Weithorn; CBS Productions and distributed by Sony Pictures Television.

The King of Queens Quotes

  • (Arthur Spooner) "You gotta hand it to those Japanese, though, clever people. Still a mystery to me how we ever got them to surrender in the Second World War."
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "Well, we did annihilate two of their cities."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "True enough. Mystery solved."
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "What movie do you want to see?"
  • (Kelly Palmer) "Something brainless. What's that thriller where the Earth starts to lose its gravitational pull?"
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "Oh, yeah -- "Floaters"."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Sure, Douglas, you're white hot. You rode the frog to the top, but lady luck can be a fickle whore."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Why can't you be more like Rain Man?"
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "Is this how you take a bath?"
  • (Spence Olchin) "Yes."
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "You look like Ernie from Sesame Street."
  • (Spence Olchin) "What did I do to you?"
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "Dad, Doug and I were just thinking --"
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Well, I hope you didn't strain yourself. I kid out of love."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "What's going on?"
  • (Doug Heffernan) "It's Carrie. The weirdest thing, every time we get together with our friends to play board games, she cheats."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "She cheats? That little girl? That's impossible."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "Arthur, I've seen her do it."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "No, no. She may put some cotton in her bra from time to time, but she does not cheat at board games."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "Son of a mother."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "Shutie."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "No longer being Mastercard's bitch? Priceless."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Darling, I need to borrow the iron."
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "Dad, I told you. If you want a grilled cheese sandwich, I will make you one."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Why do we have to sit so close to the kitchen? Is it because we're black?"
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "Hasn't anyone said you look like someone?"
  • (Doug Heffernan) "Oh, you mean like every famous fat guy in every movie ever?"
  • (Doug Heffernan) "My name might as well be Fatty McButterpants."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "All right, I'm glad you're all gathered here. Because you're about to hear the story of a driver, a swollen ankle, and get this, an iguana."
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "Did you lift your shirt and make them touch your belly hair?"
  • (Spence Olchin) "Oh my God. My TiVo thinks I'm gay."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Nobody squeals like Ned Beatty."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Ah, Paris. I haven't been back there since we liberated her in '44. The City Of Lights knew peace once more. I also got the clap, but that's a another story for another time."
  • (Deacon Palmer) "Douglas S. Heffernan -- whats your second name?"
  • (Doug Heffernan) "Steven. And yours?"
  • (Deacon Palmer) "John."
  • (Ray Barone) "What you got going on here? Log of salami, chips and cheese. I guess you're not buying in to this whole cholesterol thing, huh?"
  • (Doug Heffernan) "I buy in to it, I just wanna see how high I can get the numbers."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "You know, we're quite a team. Like Jake and the Fatman. Needless to say, I'm Jake."
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "Dad, why have you been hanging around that school playground?"
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Business."
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "Not selling those dumb ribbons, I hope."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Let's just say kids will be running home to their mommies to tell them about their encounter with the Ribbon Man."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "No big deal. We'll just reload the dishwasher and wash 'em. Okay, which of these did you already put away?"
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Let's see, I definitely remember putting away a blue bowl with big white and yellow sunflowers on it."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "Okay, we don't own anything close to that."
  • (Doug Heffernan) ""Warning: Please retain key as refrigerated trucks are not equipped with interior door handles". Mother of ass."
  • (Arthur Spooner) "Well, hello there, neighbour."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "Hello. Why did he call me neighbour?"
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "I'm moving him up here tonight, the basement was freezing."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "How freezing?"
  • (Arthur Spooner) "It seems to have reached optimal temperature. Now hit me with a load of Dougie batter."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "Let's see how the waffles go and see what happens."
  • (Carrie Spooner Heffernan) "Don't you bring my father into this."
  • (Doug Heffernan) "He's out of his mind. He cancelled our cable, because the cable company wouldn't pay him each time they ran the movie "Arthur"."

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