The Lavender Hill Mob Quotes

The Lavender Hill Mob is a television program that debuted in 1970 . The Lavender Hill Mob ended in 1970.

It features Michael Balcon as producer, Georges Auric in charge of musical score, and Douglas Slocombe as head of cinematography.

The Lavender Hill Mob is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of The Lavender Hill Mob is 81 minutes long. The Lavender Hill Mob is distributed by General Film Distributors (UK).

The cast includes: Marjorie Fielding as Mrs. Chalk, Stanley Holloway as Pendlebury, Ronald Adam as Turner, Alfie Bass as Shorty, Sid James as Lackery, David Davies as Policeman, Edie Martin as Miss Evesham, Michael Trubshawe as British man, and Jacques Brunius, Paul Demel, Eugene Deckers and Andreas Malandrinos as Customs Official.

The Lavender Hill Mob Quotes

Stanley Holloway as Pendlebury

• (Stanley Holloway) "Ah, "gay, sprightly, land of mirth and social ease.""

• (Henry Holland) "Pendlebury."
• (Stanley Holloway) "Yeah?"
• (Henry Holland) "Pendlebury."
• (Stanley Holloway) "What?"
• (Henry Holland) "May I call you Alfred?"
• (Stanley Holloway) "Alfred? Call me Al. And I'll call you -- Henry, isn't it."
• (Henry Holland) "A name I never cared for."
• (Stanley Holloway) "Hm?"
• (Henry Holland) "Mm. Call me Dutch."
• (Stanley Holloway) "Dutch. Yes."
• (Stanley Holloway) "Good night, Dutch."
• (Henry Holland) "Good night, Al."

• (Stanley Holloway) "Well, you might as well know. I was lying. I am a thief. It was madness to attempt it. We weren't cut out for crime, either of us."
• (David Davies) "We?"
• (Stanley Holloway) "My partner and I."
• (Unnamed) "Your partner? Here, if you're working with the fence who's got them other pictures --"
• (David Davies) "Shh. Carry on."
• (Stanley Holloway) "Oh I make no excuses. All my life it's been my ambition to surround myself with rare and beautiful things. Suddenly faced with this golden opportunity --"
• (Unnamed) "Here, you call that picture of mine rare and beautiful?"
• (Stanley Holloway) "Since you will keep on interrupting me, you ought to know it's a charming example of an early Rochet, while he was still under the influence of Corot."
• (Unnamed) "Oh yeah? How much is it worth?"
• (Stanley Holloway) "Ten pound, to those who can afford it."
• (Unnamed) "Oh blimey. I've had it marked up for five bob."

• (Stanley Holloway) "There's someone else out there."
• (Henry Holland) "Tell them we're suited."

• (Henry Holland) "You're teaching the wrong man."
• (Stanley Holloway) "Well, I had to change him over. Shorty can't ride a bicycle."
• (Henry Holland) "Doesn't look as if he can either."
• (Alfie Bass) "We're learning him."
• (Henry Holland) "Why couldn't you learn Shorty?"
• (Stanley Holloway) "Because Lackery's color-blind."
• (Henry Holland) "What's that got to do with it?"
• (Stanley Holloway) "Oh my dear Holland, do use your intelligence. If a policeman were to come along and see a green sunset over a purple sea --"
• (Henry Holland) "All right, all right, spare me the details."

• (Stanley Holloway) "Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these; it might have been."

• (Stanley Holloway) "You mean you both trust us?"
• (Alfie Bass) "Oh, come off it, gov. You're as straight a pair of gentlemen as I ever worked for."
• (Sid James) "Hear hear."

• (Stanley Holloway) "Now it's all over, I suppose I may dare say it's been a most remarkable coup."
• (Alfie Bass) "The biggest job of its kind since One-Eyed Dobson got away with the GIs' pay packets. Two million dollars, Grosvenor Square, 'forty-five."
• (Henry Holland) "That was before devaluation. And this is one million pounds."
• (Alfie Bass) "Oh, that's right. Blimey. We've got the record."

• (Henry Holland) "A minute later, the guard will appear around this corner, and you, Pendlebury, will detain him for at least half a minute. Ask him for a light, ask him the way, ask him anything, but keep him there, we must have those thirty seconds."
• (Stanley Holloway) "Edgar."
• (Henry Holland) "I beg your pardon?"
• (Stanley Holloway) "Isn't one supposed to say that when one's being briefed? On my rare visits to the cinema --"
• (Henry Holland) "The word is "roger.""
• (Stanley Holloway) "Oh, roger. How silly of me."

• (Henry Holland) "I must apologize, gentlemen, for the somewhat informal manner in which we effected our introduction, but my colleague and I have a certain proposition which we'd like to put to you. I might almost call it a gilt-edged proposition, although paradoxically it does entail a measure of risk. However, when I quote the anticipated dividend, I'm sure that you will both agree with me that the --"
• (Stanley Holloway) "Not another one, surely."
• (Henry Holland) "Tell him we're suited."

• (Stanley Holloway) "I propagate British cultural depravity."

• (Stanley Holloway) "Run. Run, Dutch. Run."

Sid James as Lackery

• (Henry Holland) "I said leave it."
• (Sid James) "A ruddy waste. There's many a starving bloke'd be glad of that lot."

• (Sid James) "Bellamy's? In Bromley?"
• (Alfie Bass) "That's right. Last June. Twelver."
• (Sid James) "I was casing that joint the night you got pinched."
• (Alfie Bass) "Well, what do you know? Shorty Fisher."
• (Sid James) "Nice to meet you."
• (Stanley Holloway) "Excuse me, I may be a bit slow but do I understand that in fact, you two are both professional criminals?"
• (Alfie Bass) "Well, what else do you take us for, rutty snoopers?"
• (Sid James) "What's the setup?"

• (Sid James) "Put it away, I'm not hungry."

Ronald Adam as Turner

• (Ronald Adam) "And, erm, here's the order for tomorrow's consignment. Somewhat larger that I expected: 212 bars."
• (Henry Holland) "That won't worry me, sir."
• (Ronald Adam) "Dependable to the last. I'm going to miss you, Holland."
• (Henry Holland) "You're very kind, sir. I shall always have the happiest memories of the dear old bullion office."
• (Ronald Adam) "Has Mr. Applecrumby spoken to you about your holiday?"
• (Henry Holland) "Yes, sir. I'm going to Paris."
• (Ronald Adam) "Paris, hey? You're stepping out, Holland. Wonderful isn't it, what a little extra money will do?"
• (Henry Holland) "Yes, it's going to make a big difference to me."

• (Ronald Adam) "The trouble with you, Holland, is that you haven't enough ambition."

Marjorie Fielding as Mrs. Chalk

• (Marjorie Fielding) "But surely you must have some suspicion. Who work the heist rackets in this territory?"
• (David Davies) "Beg your pardon, lady?"
• (Marjorie Fielding) "Oh really. I can't make myself much plainer. Which hoodlums around here specialize in toby jobs?"

• (Henry Holland) "Where did we get?"
• (Marjorie Fielding) "Duke Milligan was about to take a gander at Mickey the Greek's hideout."
• (Henry Holland) "Oh yes, here we are. "I handed my fedora to a hatcheck girl with all that Venus de Milo had got and then more, and I was admiring the more when I glimpsed something in the back of this frail that set my underwear creeping up on me like it had legs.""
• (Marjorie Fielding) "I know that feeling well."
• (Henry Holland) ""A guy had soft-shoed out of the door from the gaming room as quiet as a snake on tip-belly, and I didn't need my case history of Smiling Abe Montana to know that sonny boy was his number-one triggerman, Ricky the Filipino.""
• (Marjorie Fielding) "I thought it was Little Boy Shultz who carried the rod for Mr. Montana."
• (Henry Holland) "It was, Mrs. Chalk, but surely you remember? Montana found Shultz taking liberties with that lady."
• (Marjorie Fielding) "Yes, yes, they took him for a ride. Only last night, wasn't it? Oh, I must be getting old. Read on, Mr. Holland."

Michael Trubshawe as British man

• (Henry Holland) "Instead of changing as usual at Charing Cross, I came straight on to Rio de Janeiro. "Gay, sprightly, land of mirth and social ease." Pendlebury."
• (Michael Trubshawe) "Plus six Eiffel Towers. How much did they fetch?"
• (Henry Holland) "Twenty-five thousand pounds. Enough to keep me for one year in the style to which I was, ah, unaccustomed."

Edie Martin as Miss Evesham

• (Edie Martin) "You naughty men, waking us all up at this hour."
• (Stanley Holloway) "A thousand pardons."
• (Henry Holland) "Wipe your feet."
• (Stanley Holloway) "A little celebration."
• (Edie Martin) "Already? Your holidays don't start till tomorrow."
• (Henry Holland) "Today is tomorrow."
• (Stanley Holloway) ""O polished perturbation. Golden care. That keep'st the ports of slumber open wide." Henry IV, part two."
• (Edie Martin) "Good night, you naughty men. Don't forget to switch off."

Jacques Brunius, Paul Demel, Eugene Deckers and Andreas Malandrinos as Customs Official

• (Jacques Brunius, Paul Demel, Eugene Deckers and Andreas Malandrinos) "L'argent."
• (Stanley Holloway) "Oh, sadist torturers. Money."
• (Jacques Brunius, Paul Demel, Eugene Deckers and Andreas Malandrinos) "Your foreign currency? What do you have?"
• (Stanley Holloway) "There."
• (Stanley Holloway) "Count it."

Alfie Bass as Shorty

• (Alfie Bass) "Okay, you're the boss."
• (Henry Holland) "Yes. Yes, that's right; I am."

• (Alfie Bass) "I didn't like to say so, but I don't really fancy going to Paris meself."
• (Henry Holland) "Why?"
• (Alfie Bass) "Well a friend of mine, he pinched a couple of tickets for the Test Match, see? I wouldn't half like to see that."

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