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The Lonely Guy Quotes

The Lonely Guy is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . The Lonely Guy ended its run in 1970.

It features Arthur Hiller as producer, Jerry Goldsmith in charge of musical score, and Victor J. Kemper as head of cinematography.

The Lonely Guy is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Lonely Guy is 90 minutes long. The Lonely Guy is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Steve Martin as Larry Hubbard, Charles Grodin as Warren Evans, Steve Lawrence as Jack Fenwick, and Judith Ivey as Iris.

The Lonely Guy Quotes

Steve Lawrence as Jack Fenwick

  • (Steve Lawrence) "Hey, say hello to my wife, Verna."
  • (Unnamed) "Hello."
  • (Steve Martin) "Hi."
  • (Steve Lawrence) "And this is my girlfriend Frieda."
  • (Unnamed) "Hi, nice to meet you."
  • (Steve Martin) "Nice to meet you."
  • (Steve Lawrence) "We got a little apartment here on the West Side. One big room, and a 40-foot mattress."
  • (Steve Lawrence) "Hey Larry, you're fantastic. Carson wants you on the west side and Letterman wants you on the east side and Playboy called. They want you to pose with the bunny of the month. Boy what a looker she is."
  • (Steve Martin) "Woo. Woo. Woo."
  • (Steve Lawrence) "I heard about you and Danielle breaking up."
  • (Steve Martin) "You heard? It just happened fifteen minutes ago."
  • (Steve Lawrence) "Yeah, well, I just spoke to her. We were very close, you know. We had an affair and everything."
  • (Steve Martin) "When was that?"
  • (Steve Lawrence) "Oh, about four weeks ago. Every morning after you'd go to work. Oh, but you knew about that, didn't you?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Oh, sure, we had an understanding. We were very today people."
  • (Steve Lawrence) "Don't be so broken up about Danielle. She already dumped Raul, you know."
  • (Steve Martin) "She has?"
  • (Steve Lawrence) "Yeah, she's living with a rock group now."

Charles Grodin as Warren Evans

  • (Charles Grodin) "You know what gets me? I go to get a haircut, they charge me, like, four bucks, which is the same amount of money they would charge anybody to come in. But say a guy like Michael Landon goes into the shop where I go, they would charge him four bucks, yet he's got, like, a hundred times more hair than I do. By rights, they should be charging Michael Landon like four hundred dollars."
  • (Steve Martin) "Yeah, but they don't charge you by how much hair you've got. They're paid to make it look good with what you've got."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Well, I don't even know if they've done that."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Ever think of getting a dog?"
  • (Steve Martin) "A dog."
  • (Charles Grodin) "Dogs are great. They leap all over you. They lick your face. They don't even have to like you. It's their instinct. Hitler had a dog. That dog went crazy over him."
  • (Steve Martin) "ADOLF Hitler?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Yeah."
  • (Charles Grodin) "I don't like to take naps. I don't like to wake up more than once a day. 'Cause when I first wake up I get that shock of who I am and everything. I -- I really don't like to do that more than once a day."
  • (Steve Martin) "Ya."
  • (Charles Grodin) "First time lonely guy?"
  • (Steve Martin) "What's a lonely guy?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "I remember after I saw Rocky, I ran out in the park jogging, shadow boxing. Some guy came up to me and punched me right in the face."
  • (Charles Grodin) "That was your dog's poop. I saw him do it."
  • (Steve Martin) "Oh Warren."

Steve Martin as Larry Hubbard

  • (Unnamed) "Man you are one bad backwards writer."
  • (Steve Martin) "Thanks."
  • (Steve Martin) ""Soon the primal fire began to burn in Lady Hookstraten's body. Her hips twitched and trembled as each fireball from Oliver's powerful cannon erupted like molten lava into the quivering mouth of her ever-fluttering love purse.""
  • (Steve Martin) "Iris, how old are you?"
  • (Judith Ivey) "Thirty."
  • (Steve Martin) "And you've had six husbands?"
  • (Judith Ivey) "That's a lot, isn't it?"
  • (Steve Martin) "No, no, not really. When you think about it, it's just one every five years."
  • (Steve Martin) "What'd you have for lunch?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Toast."
  • (Steve Martin) "White?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Rye."
  • (Steve Martin) "Good?"
  • (Charles Grodin) "Yeah."
  • (Steve Martin) "Sounds good."
  • (Steve Martin) "Oh, I hate these places. Don't you? It's like, most of these guys are just here for one thing. I guess I want to meet someone I can talk to, just get to know. And go to dinners with, and museums, art galleries. I think what I'm looking for is more of a real relationship."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, that's great, Larry. But I just came here to get laid."
  • (Steve Martin) "Want to go out some time?"
  • (Unnamed) "I'm a man."
  • (Steve Martin) "How long were you and Marty married?"
  • (Judith Ivey) "Oh, not long. I found out he was having an affair with a ballet dancer."
  • (Steve Martin) "A dancer. Now this may sound silly, but by any chance that dancer wasn't named Danielle?"
  • (Judith Ivey) "No, no. Raul."
  • (Unnamed) "Could you just sign it, "To Jimmy"?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Sure."
  • (Steve Martin) "If you like to play fetch don't get a fast dog. All they want to do is show off and they don't care about your stick. If they don't comeback by sundown you're out three hundred dollars."
  • (Steve Martin) "You're making a big mistake. This man is not for you."
  • (Unnamed) "He's right."
  • (Unnamed) "Allison."
  • (Steve Martin) "Isn't this First Presbyterian?"
  • (Unnamed) "No, Third Methodist."
  • (Steve Martin) "Grrrr."
  • (Steve Martin) "Did you ever try, like, maybe swooping if over? You know how some guys grow their hair real long and then swoop it over. You can do a lot like that. You can get a pompadour and everything."
  • (Charles Grodin) "My hair doesn't grow long enough to swoop it over. Besides, I think when you see a guy with his hair swooped over, you know he's doing it to cover up something."
  • (Steve Martin) "Yeah, if a guy has a lot of hair, he's not gonna swoop it over."
  • (Steve Martin) "I'm not really jogging. I only ran about fifty yards. This is not real sweat, either. I sprayed it on. They sell this at sporting goods stores. It's made from the actual sweat of professional athletes. This was taken from a Boston Celtics basketball player immediately after a double overtime game."
  • (Steve Martin) "I just wanted to meet anybody."
  • (Unnamed) "I know. It can be rough. Did you try a fern?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Yeah."
  • (Unnamed) "Did you try a dog?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Yeah, but they don't seem to really help that much."

Judith Ivey as Iris

  • (Judith Ivey) "I'm crazy about you Larry."
  • (Steve Martin) "I'm crazy about you too Iris."
  • (Judith Ivey) "How long have you been a lonely guy?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Is it that noticeable? What is it that gave me away?"
  • (Judith Ivey) "I know phony sweat when I smell it. When you first came in, I thought you were Larry Bird."

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