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The Monster Squad Quotes

The Monster Squad is a television program that debuted in 1970 . The Monster Squad stopped airing in 1970.

It features Jonathan A. Zimbert as producer, Bruce Broughton in charge of musical score, and Bradford May as head of cinematography.

The Monster Squad is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Monster Squad is 82 minutes long. The Monster Squad is distributed by TriStar Pictures.

The cast includes: Brent Chalem as Horace, Leonardo Cimino as Scary German Guy, Ashley Bank as Phoebe, Andre Gower as Sean, Michael Faustino as Eugene, Robby Kiger as Patrick, Duncan Regehr as Dracula, Ryan Lambert as Rudy, Jason Hervey as E.J., Stan Shaw as Detective Sapir, and Stephen Macht as Det. Del Crenshaw.

The Monster Squad Quotes

Ryan Lambert as Rudy

  • (Ryan Lambert) "See ya later, Band-Aid Breath."
  • (Ryan Lambert) "See? Told ya. Only one way to kill a werewolf."
  • (Ryan Lambert) "You dropped your candy bar, E.J."
  • (Jason Hervey) "It's his."
  • (Ryan Lambert) "It's yours now."
  • (Jason Hervey) "Rudy."
  • (Ryan Lambert) "Eat."
  • (Jason Hervey) "Rudy, I'm not gonna --"
  • (Ryan Lambert) "Eat up. Then we'll call it a day."
  • (Ryan Lambert) "How does that dog get up here anyway?"

Michael Faustino as Eugene

  • (Michael Faustino) "Mummy came in my house."
  • (Michael Faustino) "Creature stole my twinkie."

Robby Kiger as Patrick

  • (Robby Kiger) "You're not a virgin are you?"
  • (Robby Kiger) "No? What do you mean No?"
  • (Patrick's Sister) "Well, Steve -- but he doesn't count."
  • (Robby Kiger) "DOESN'T COUNT?"
  • (Robby Kiger) "So what's German for 'please don't murder us'?"
  • (Leonardo Cimino) "Bitte uns nicht Mord zu tun."
  • (Patrick's Sister) "Why don't you have him read it?"
  • (Robby Kiger) "He's not a virgin."
  • (Patrick's Sister) "Did you ask him?"
  • (Robby Kiger) "Rudy, where you going?"
  • (Ryan Lambert) "I'm in the god**** club aren't I ?"
  • (Robby Kiger) "Aww, man, fat kid farted."

Duncan Regehr as Dracula

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Stan Shaw as Detective Sapir

  • (Stan Shaw) "That's it, Del. This case is too hard, man, Let's be firemen instead."
  • (Stephen Macht) "I'm glad you're gettin' major laughs outta this, Rich. The problem is two-thousand year-old dead guys do not get up and walk away by themselves."
  • (Stan Shaw) "So let me get this straight. You're telling me there was this two-thousand year-old mummy here, right? But now he's not here. He's gone. Vanished. History. And you're saying you didn't hear anybody come in here or leave, is that right? Can you hear me now? Hello."
  • (Night Watchman) "I can hear you fine."
  • (Stan Shaw) "So nobody took the mummy."
  • (Night Watchman) "I would've heard them."
  • (Stan Shaw) "'Course he would've. What a stupid question. Did you take him?"
  • (Night Watchman) "No sir."
  • (Stan Shaw) "Just a shot."

Andre Gower as Sean

  • (Andre Gower) "Is she a virgin?"
  • (Patrick's Sister) "Why don't you broadcast it on the 6 o' clock news?"
  • (Andre Gower) "If we pull this off, I'm gonna s***."
  • (Andre Gower) "Don't kick the church, it's religious."
  • (Ryan Lambert) "Locked is what it is."
  • (Andre Gower) "Alright then, we'll just have to do it out here."
  • (Brent Chalem) "Oh REAL religious, Sean, why don't we just do it at Burger King?"

Stephen Macht as Det. Del Crenshaw

  • (Stephen Macht) "Suck on this you son of a bitch."
  • (Stephen Macht) "I thought they killed him in the last one."
  • (Andre Gower) "They did, he returns from the grave."
  • (Stephen Macht) "He always returns from the grave. If they blew him up, put his head in a blender and mailed the rest of him to Norway, he would still return from the grave."
  • (Andre Gower) "That was part 7."

Leonardo Cimino as Scary German Guy

  • (Leonardo Cimino) "I expect you boys thought I was some kind of monster myself, mm? A vampire, perhaps? That's quite all right. But I am not, you know. If I were a vampire, then I wouldn't have a reflection --"
  • (Leonardo Cimino) "-- now would I?"
  • (Brent Chalem) "Man, you sure know a lot about monsters."
  • (Leonardo Cimino) "Now that you mention it, I suppose I do."
  • (Leonardo Cimino) "Boys, time is almost up."
  • (Leonardo Cimino) "For last chance of some pie."

Ashley Bank as Phoebe

  • (Ashley Bank) "Mom says you have to let me in or else it's prescription."
  • (Andre Gower) "That's 'discrimination' jerkoid. Prescription is drugs, which you're on if you think you're getting in here."

Brent Chalem as Horace

  • (Brent Chalem) "No, Sean. Scary house. Real monsters. Us, twelve years old, remember?"
  • (Andre Gower) "Midnight, end of the world, remember?"
  • (Brent Chalem) "Wolfman's got nards."
  • (Brent Chalem) "Maybe he's a spy."
  • (Andre Gower) "Oh good idea. We're not at war with Germany."
  • (Ashley Bank) "We were at war with Vietnam."
  • (Andre Gower) "What?"
  • (Ashley Bank) "It's in Rambo."

Jason Hervey as E.J.

  • (Jason Hervey) "Hey Fat Kid. Good job."
  • (Brent Chalem) "My name -- is Horace."

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