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The Mummy Returns Quotes

The Mummy Returns is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . The Mummy Returns ended its run in 1970.

It features Sean Daniel as producer, Alan Silvestri in charge of musical score, and Adrian Biddle as head of cinematography.

The Mummy Returns is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Mummy Returns is 130 minutes long. The Mummy Returns is distributed by Universal Studios.

The Mummy Returns Quotes

  • (Jonathan) "Look. There's a burial ground. We're safe. We're safe. See those sacred stones? They'll never cross those."
  • (Shafek) "You are sure?"
  • (Jonathan) "Yes, of course I'm sure."
  • (Jonathan) "Sorry. My mistake."
  • (Evelyn) "Those knickers are not mine."
  • (Ardeth Bay) "I am sorry if I alarmed your son. But you must understand, now that the bracelet is on his wrist, we have only seven days before the Scorpion King awakens."
  • (Rick) "We? What we?"
  • (Ardeth Bay) "If he is not killed, he will raise the Army of Anubis."
  • (Jonathan) "I take it that's not a good thing?"
  • (Rick) "Oh, he'll wipe out the world."
  • (Jonathan) "Ah, the old "Wipe-Out-The-World" ploy."
  • (Evelyn) "No harm ever came from opening a chest"
  • (Rick) "Yeah, right, and no harm ever came from reading a book. You remember how that one went?"
  • (Jonathan) "Try to think of it like this, Alex. She's gone to a better place. You know, like it says in the Good Book."
  • (Alex) "Book."
  • (Jonathan) "What?"
  • (Alex) "That's it. That's it."
  • (Jonathan) "That's what?"
  • (Alex) "Come on, Uncle Jon. Come on, come on."
  • (Rick) "Have I kissed you today?"
  • (Rick) "I hate it when you do that."
  • (Rick) "Why?"
  • (Evelyn) "It makes me feel like agreeing to anything."
  • (Rick) "Anything?"
  • (Ardeth Bay) "Wherever this man is, your wife will surely be."
  • (Alex) "Hey, I know him. He's the curator. He works at the British Museum."
  • (Ardeth Bay) "Are you sure?"
  • (Rick) "You better believe him, he spends more time there then he does at home."
  • (Alex) "Efday shokran -- efday shokran -- Uncle Jon. I don't know what this last symbol is."
  • (Jonathan) "What does it look like?"
  • (Alex) "It's a bird; a stork."
  • (Jonathan) "I know that one. I know that one."
  • (Alex) "Then what is it?"
  • (Jonathan) "Ah -- Ah --."
  • (Jonathan) "Amenophus."
  • (Evelyn) "That's why I love you."
  • (Rick) "Nice try."
  • (Evelyn) "You wait. I'll put you in your grave again."
  • (Baltus Hafez, the Curator) "Our thinking was, not if we put you in your grave first."
  • (Alex) "My dad is going to kick your ass."
  • (Imhotep) "I do not think so."
  • (Rick) "Knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you're about to do to him. But this is my house. I have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment."
  • (Rick) "You all right?"
  • (Ardeth Bay) "This was my first bus ride."
  • (Rick) "Those are poisonous, you know."
  • (Evelyn) "Only if they bite you."
  • (Rick) "You know, a couple of years ago, this would have seemed really strange to me."
  • (Jonathan) "I say chaps, look at this. Shrunken heads. I'd love to know how they do that."
  • (Jonathan) "Just curious."
  • (Evelyn) "Alex, I'm serious, if you've lost that key, you're grounded."
  • (Alex) "I haven't lost it, I just can't find it. There's a difference."
  • (Izzy) "This thing was filled with gas. Not hot air; gas. I need gas to get this thing off the ground. Where am I gonna get gas from around here? Huh? Bananas? Mangos? Tarzan's ass? Well maybe I can finagle it to take hot air. But do you know how many cubic meters I'd need? I mean, it's too big."
  • (Rick) "If anybody can fill this thing up with hot air, Izzy -- it's you."
  • (Rick) "You know, it's not easy being a -- dad."
  • (Alex) "Yeah. But you do it real good."
  • (Rick) "Thought I almost lost you."
  • (Evelyn) "For a moment there you did."
  • (Evelyn) "Do you want to know what heaven looks like?"
  • (Rick) "Later."
  • (Alex) "Oh please."
  • (Lock-Nah) "NOW may I kill him?"
  • (Rick) "OK, NOW I'm a believer."
  • (Alex) "Are we there yet?"
  • (Lock-Nah) "No."
  • (Alex) "Are we there yet?"
  • (Lock-Nah) "No."
  • (Alex) "Are we there yet?"
  • (Lock-Nah) "No."
  • (Alex) "Are we --"
  • (Alex) "Whoa, that was amazing. Perfect aim."
  • (Lock-Nah) "What are you talking about? I missed."
  • (Rick) "What'd you do this time?"
  • (Jonathan) "Well, I haven't done anything to anybody"
  • (Jonathan) "-- lately."
  • (Alex) "Sucker weighs a goddang ton."
  • (Evelyn) "Alex, watch your language."
  • (Alex) "Rather weighty, this."
  • (Evelyn) "Jonathan."
  • (Jonathan) "Yes?"
  • (Evelyn) "That's my husband and my son down there. Make me proud."
  • (Jonathan) "Today's that day, Evy."
  • (Izzy) "You're not exactly catching me at my best --"
  • (Evelyn) "Oh -- I'm sure I am."
  • (Izzy) "O'Connell, if you give me that gold stick there, you can shave my head, wax my legs, and use me for a surfboard."
  • (Rick) "Didn't we do that in Tripoli?"
  • (Evelyn) "I think the bracelet is some sort of guide to the lost oasis of Ahm Shere."
  • (Rick) "Evy, I know what you're thinking and the answer is no. We just got home."
  • (Evelyn) "That's the beauty of it, we're already packed."
  • (Rick) "Why don't you just give me one good reason."
  • (Evelyn) "It's just an oasis. Darling. A beautiful, exciting, romantic oasis."
  • (Rick) "The kind with the white, sandy beach and the palm trees and the cool, clear, blue water and; we could have some of those big drinks with the little umbrellas."
  • (Evelyn) "Sounds good."
  • (Rick) "Sounds too good. What's the catch?"
  • (Evelyn) "Supposedly it's the resting place of Anubis's army."
  • (Rick) "Ah, ya. see. I knew there's a catch. There's always a catch."
  • (Meela) "Nefertiri."
  • (Evelyn) "Anck-su-namun."
  • (Meela) "Good."
  • (Rick) "Oh, I hate these guys."
  • (Rick) "Okay, now you're starting to scare me."
  • (Evelyn) "Now I'm starting to scare myself."
  • (Jonathan) "Where is all this stuff written?"
  • (Ardeth Bay) "If a man does not embrace his past, he has no future."
  • (Jonathan) "Pull me up. Pull me up."
  • (Jonathan) "Wait, wait. Let me down. Let me down."
  • (Rick) "It's not worth your life, you idiot."
  • (Jonathan) "Yes, it is. Yes, it is."
  • (Jacques) "This place -- is cursed."
  • (Red) "What is it with you and curses?"
  • (Spivey) "He ain't happy without a good curse."
  • (Spivey) "This is cursed. That is cursed."
  • (Jonathan) "Step aside, Alex -- I'm a professional."
  • (Ardeth Bay) "You any good with that?"
  • (Jonathan) "Five times Fox and Hounds Grand Champion, I'll have you know."
  • (Jonathan) "You any good with that?"
  • (Ardeth Bay) "We'll know soon enough."
  • (Ardeth Bay) "Because the only way to kill an Anubis warrior is by taking off its head."
  • (Jonathan) "I'll remember that."
  • (Rick) "Honey, what are you doing? These guys don't use doors."
  • (Alex) "Mom, dad, I can explain everything."
  • (Rick) "Alex?"
  • (Alex) "What were you thinking, a mummy had come back to life?"
  • (Rick) "I'll tell you a story some time."
  • (Jonathan) "I told you. I told you."
  • (Meela) "And your point is?"
  • (Jonathan) "My point is, I told you so you wouldn't kill me."
  • (Meela) "When did we make that arrangement?"
  • (Rick) "You want the shotgun?"
  • (Ardeth Bay) "No, I prefer the Thompson."
  • (Ardeth Bay) "There is a fine line between coincidence and fate."
  • (Imhotep) "The sands of time have already begun to pour against you."
  • (Alex) "Yeah, yeah, I already heard this part. From the minute I put the bracelet on, seven days do I have before the Scorpion King wakes up."
  • (Imhotep) "Did you also hear that if you do not enter the pyramid before the sun strikes it on that very morning, that the bracelet will suck the life out of you?"
  • (Alex) "That part I missed."
  • (Rick) "Uh, hello. Jonathan, I thought I said no more wild parties."
  • (Jonathan) "Well, when you're popular --"
  • (Anck Su Namun) "You are learning quickly, Nefertiri. I'll have to watch my back."
  • (Princess Nefertiri) "Yes. And I'll watch mine."
  • (Evelyn) "Would you like to know what heaven looks like?"
  • (Rick) "Later."
  • (Rick) "Let me guess, it was commanded by this Scorpion King guy?"
  • (Evelyn) "Yes, but he only awakens once every 5,000 years."
  • (Rick) "Right. And if someone doesn't kill him, then he's gonna wipe out the world."
  • (Evelyn) "How did you know?"
  • (Rick) "I didn't, but that's always the story."
  • (Evelyn) "The last known expedition to actually reach Ahm Shere was sent by Ramses the Fourth over 3,000 years ago. He sent over a thousand men."
  • (Rick) "And none of them was ever seen again."
  • (Evelyn) "How did you know?"
  • (Rick) "I didn't, but that's always the story."
  • (Evelyn) "Alexander the Great sent troops in search of it."
  • (Rick) "Great for him."
  • (Evelyn) "So did Caesar."
  • (Rick) "Yeah, look what happened to his career."
  • (Evelyn) "And Napoleon."
  • (Rick) "Yeah, but, we're smarter than him. And taller, too."
  • (Evelyn) "Exactly. That's why we're the ones who are gonna find it."
  • (Rick) "Because we're taller?"
  • (Lock-Nah) "When the time comes I shall truly enjoy killing you."
  • (Alex) "But until that time, you better be a little nicer to me. Now where's my water?"
  • (Alex) "No ice?"
  • (Alex) "Hey. The Book of the Dead."
  • (Meela) "What a bright little child. Your mother must be missing you terribly. If you wish to see her again, you better behave."
  • (Alex) "Lady, I don't behave for my parents, what makes you think I'm going to do it for you?"
  • (Lock-Nah) "Silence."
  • (Meela) "Because your parents wouldn't slip poisonous snakes in your bed while you were sleeping."
  • (Rick) "Oh no, not these guys again."
  • (Ardeth Bay) "By putting this on, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse."
  • (Rick) "You, lighten up."
  • (Rick) "You, big trouble."
  • (Rick) "You, get in the car."
  • (Rick) "Alex I've got a big job for you. I want you to stay here and protect the car."
  • (Jonathan) "I can do that."
  • (Alex) "Protect the car? Come on, dad. Just because I'm a kid doesn't mean I'm stupid."
  • (Rick) "I know."
  • (Alex) "Dad."
  • (Rick) "Ehh --"
  • (Jonathan) "If you see anyone come running out screaming, it's just me."
  • (Rick) "Maybe you should stay here and watch him."
  • (Jonathan) "Yes, now you're talking."
  • (Rick) "Okay; you're here, the bad guys are here, Evy's been kidnapped. Let me guess --"
  • (Ardeth Bay) "Yes, they once again removed the creature from his grave."
  • (Jonathan) "I don't mean to point fingers, but isn't it your job to make sure that doesn't happen?"
  • (Izzy) "Uh, that's half mine, you know."
  • (Jonathan) "What?"
  • (Izzy) "That's half mine."
  • (Jonathan) "I have no idea what you're talking about."
  • (Izzy) "What? You took my gold stick. I know you took my gold stick."
  • (Jonathan) "No, I have no id- I swear on the head of my wife I have no idea what you're talking about."
  • (Izzy) "You haven't; you ain't got a wife."
  • (Jonathan) "I haven't got your gold stick either."
  • (Ardeth Bay) "Glad to see me now?"
  • (Rick) "Just like old times, huh?"
  • (Red) "Get out of my way. Get out of my way. Get out of my way, or I'm gonna shoot you in the face."
  • (Spivey) "He means it. He shot someone before."
  • (Ardeth Bay) "Why can't you people ever keep your feet on the ground?"
  • (Ardeth Bay) "If I were to say to you that, "I am a stranger traveling from the East, seeking that which is lost" --"
  • (Rick) "Then I would reply that, "I am a stranger traveling from the West, it is I whom you seek.""
  • (Ardeth Bay) "Then it is true. You have the sacred mark."
  • (Rick) "What, that? No, that got slapped on me when I was in an orphanage in Cairo."
  • (Ardeth Bay) "That mark means you are a protector of man. A warrior for God. A Medjai."
  • (Rick) "I'm sorry. You've got the wrong guy."
  • (Izzy) "O'Connell, who the hell you been messing with this time, huh?"
  • (Rick) "Oh, you know, the usual. Mummies, pygmies, big bugs."
  • (Rick) "This is bad, Evy."
  • (Evelyn) "We've had bad before."
  • (Rick) "This is worse."
  • (Rick) "No, no, not my car. Oh, I hate mummies."
  • (Izzy) "Remember that bank job in Marrakesh?"
  • (Evelyn) "Bank job?"
  • (Rick) "It's not like it sounds."
  • (Izzy) "Oh it's exactly how it sounds. I'm flying high, hiding in the sun, the white boy here flags me down so I fly in low for the pickup. The next thing I know, I get shot. I'm lying in the middle of the road with my spleen hangin' out and I see him waltzing up with some belly dancer girl."
  • (Evelyn) "Belly dancer girl? Izzy, I think you and I should talk."
  • (Izzy) "As long as I don't get shot."
  • (Rick) "Go to hell and take your friends with you."
  • (Rick) "You know if you move that fast enough, you can almost write your name?"
  • (Izzy) "Isn't she beautiful?"
  • (Rick) "It's a balloon."
  • (Izzy) "Ach, it's a dirigible."
  • (Rick) "Where's your airplane?"
  • (Izzy) "Hah, airplanes are a thing of the past."
  • (Rick) "Izzy, you were right."
  • (Izzy) "I was?"
  • (Rick) "Yeah."
  • (Rick) "You're gonna get shot."
  • (Baltus Hafez, the Curator) "Do not be frightened."
  • (Meela) "I am not afraid."
  • (Meela) "I am Anck Su Namun reincarnated."
  • (Imhotep) "Only in body, but soon I will bring your soul back from the Underworld and our love shall once again be whole."

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