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The Office (U.S. season 1) Quotes

The Office is a TV program that debuted in 2005 on NBC. The Office stopped airing in 2005.

The Office lasted 6 episodes.

The Office Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, God, nature. Please."
  • (Unnamed) "When two animals are having sex --"
  • (Unnamed) "Boy have you done lost your mind? Cause I'll HELP you find it."
  • (Unnamed) "I kinda know what it's like to be in commercials. My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man."
  • (Michael Scott) "Well, just tell him to call me ASAP as possible."
  • (Michael Scott) "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
  • (Michael Scott) "Close your eyes. Picture a convict. What's he wearing? Nothing special; baseball cap on backward, baggy pants. He says something ordinary like, "Yo, that's shizzle". Okay, now slowly open your eyes again. Who are you picturing? A black man? Wrong. That was a white woman. Surprised? Well, shame on you."
  • (Unnamed) "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, I want to set you up with my daughter"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, I'm engaged to Pam."
  • (Unnamed) "I thought you were gay?"
  • (Unnamed) "Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?"
  • (Unnamed) "I don't know."
  • (Michael Scott) "I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."
  • (Michael Scott) "Dwight, you ignorant slut."
  • (Unnamed) "Hi, Mich --"
  • (Michael Scott) "No, God --. No, God, please, no --. No --. No --. Nooooo."
  • (Michael Scott) "Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me."
  • (Michael Scott) "I -- declare -- BANKRUPTCY."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen."
  • (Michael Scott) "I didn't say it, I declared it."
  • (Unnamed) "Seriously? You're gonna sit in the back?"
  • (Unnamed) "Uh, yeah? That's the safest part of a car. In the event of a crash, the driver always protects his side first."
  • (Andy Bernard) "I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs."
  • (Michael Scott) "This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here."

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